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Anybody Dislike Dating?
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21 / F / Harrisburg, PA
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Posted 7/28/10
I'm not the dating type too. I guess you could say i found dating a challenge, but i hope one day i have the courage to stand up and ask guys out. One day..
Posted 7/28/10
tried it once - lots of awkward situations, because of interaction.



rather just wait for that perfect some one~
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27 / M / A rainy paradise...
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Posted 7/28/10

NoBreyner wrote:


th1nk_p1nk wrote:

It's okay when you're with someone you really like, but staying single gets lonely after a while (in my case, at least.)


Nope, it's not just you. I really am 34 and have social anxiety disorder. I've never been on a date, looking forward to my first kiss and so on. Trying to fix my anxiety issues to change all that, but I'm sick of thinking about what I may be missing.


I used to have social anxiety. I would sweat profusely, tremble, feel like the world would end and have an intense urge to run away...it was quite bad. It would come up when I had to present a project in front of anyone, talk to a stranger, when a stranger talked to me, when I did something silly in front of others, etc... But I got over it...and anyone that wants it bad enough will too.

It's the same process as physical conditioning in a martial art or fighting sport. It hurts like a bitch when you first kick something hard with your shins and you don't want to do it again. But slowly, your body becomes stronger and tougher. As your body transforms, your mind transforms. Your mind relearns what is possible for you and allows you to amount to greater things. Any fear will get dulled until it is no long significant. For example, you no longer fear to kick hard during a match in fear of kicking into their shin guard and hurting yourself. It grants you more freedom to do what you want.

Same thing applies for social anxiety. it requires progressive conditioning, dedication and perseverance because it's a tough and long process. However, in today's society where people can't even get their eating and exercising habits under control...this is impossible to achieve for most people.

In terms of meeting women and creating intimacy, it is up to the guy to take the most crucial steps in the process. The woman might give you 'green lights', but it is up to you to lead and actually go for each step along the way. From the approach to the kiss and so on.
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30 / M
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Posted 7/28/10 , edited 7/28/10
Can only provide this disillusionment for everyone. Please accept this gift.

There is no perfect someone. There is only the level of man you are satisfied with.

Having that type of greed, you'll either be waiting forever or flitting from man to man in a futile search for perfect or Mr. Right.

Don't waste your time/life on it.

"Love 50 people, have 50 woes. Love no one, have no woes." - Buddha
Posted 7/28/10
I don't know why people my age are even dating. -_- It just seems fake? I couldn't really see me going out. I'll wait to I'm WAY older, thank you very much.
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30 / M
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Posted 7/28/10
That's easily explained. The chemicals in commercial products and even in the water itself all add up to enough to speed up hormone productions in humans. The result of that, of course, is that boys and girls are now developing at a faster rate. You may recall a slight ruckus in the news a while back about a certain chemical that was present in plastic bottles (ready, baby bottles) that caused increased estrogen production.

As estrogen for girls and testosterone for boys are both responsible for puberty, having an increased production of them at an earlier age would mean, of course, hitting puberty and developing earlier than what is natural. Nothing the general populace can really do about it, that's the world we live in now.

There are also other ideas and theories from a variety of areas. My guess, aside from a healthy interest in the opposite sex, is to appear more "mature" and "grown up." Really though, earlier development throws a lot of my guesses off. It's easy to mistake any 16 or 17 year old girl physically for a woman that's a few years older nowadays. It's not so easy to tell age just by looking anymore.
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29 / F / PLACES
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Posted 7/28/10
I'm dating. And to be honest, it's really nice. Sure it takes work - don't be lazy about it. You have to figure out what works for someone else. For the most part, if you know how to compromise, it's really not bad.

Notice how I said DATING and not marriage.
Posted 7/28/10
I enjoy dating but I don't enjoy the heartbreak that comes with it.

Me and my bf split up coz we were going to different Universities.

It was circumstance and not a harsh break up which made it more upsetting.

I don't want to date for a while, I'm over him but I just want to enjoy the single life.
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27 / M / A rainy paradise...
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Posted 7/28/10

MongHu wrote:

Can only provide this disillusionment for everyone. Please accept this gift.

There is no perfect someone. There is only the level of man you are satisfied with.

Having that type of greed, you'll either be waiting forever or flitting from man to man in a futile search for perfect or Mr. Right.

Don't waste your time/life on it.

"Love 50 people, have 50 woes. Love no one, have no woes." - Buddha


No one is perfect on their own...that is one thing. When you meet someone that is right for you, you will know it and feel it.

'Settling' is an entirely different matter. The dregs in wine settle, people should not. You only live once, to not reach your full potential is a waste.
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21 / M / Watching everything
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Posted 7/28/10

sanitos wrote:


MongHu wrote:

Can only provide this disillusionment for everyone. Please accept this gift.

There is no perfect someone. There is only the level of man you are satisfied with.

Having that type of greed, you'll either be waiting forever or flitting from man to man in a futile search for perfect or Mr. Right.

Don't waste your time/life on it.

"Love 50 people, have 50 woes. Love no one, have no woes." - Buddha


No one is perfect on their own...that is one thing. When you meet someone that is right for you, you will know it and feel it.

'Settling' is an entirely different matter. The dregs in wine settle, people should not. You only live once, to not reach your full potential is a waste.


I might not be perfect, but I am content and that's enough for me.
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33 / M / So Cali, OC
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Posted 7/28/10
Skip the dating and straight to the sex
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40 / M / Where the heart is
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Posted 7/28/10

th1nk_p1nk wrote:


NoBreyner wrote:

that's true. I remind myself all the time of the 70% statistic you mentioned or similar to feel better about rushing into things.


So I'm thinking you didn't quote me so I wouldn't reply, but there's just one more thing I wanna say..whatever you do, no matter how old you are, don't go rushing into anything..doesn't matter how many people you've dated or haven't dated. You're chances of finding love are as good or as bad as anyone else. But rushing into things is what's really gonna set you back. I think you might already know that. I just think it's best to take your time.

I might only be 18, Sir, but because I used to constantly rush into things, I've been in some really damaging relationships which might never have happened if I hadn't tried to settle down too early. And thanks to that, I'm having trouble opening up when I need to the most. I broke up with this one abusive dumbass I went too far with basically the first day we met, and he almost ruined me by asking for my own cousin's number afterwards.There's a lot more to it than that but there's no need to drag on. A lot of that was my own fault.

Just be careful. That's all I'm gonna say. =_=" Best of luck.



sorry I didn't quote you. I value the opinion of anyone who ttakes the time to help me out. The only advice I may not take is a fourteen yearold or younger's advice unless that person seems enlightened to me. I do learn from others mistakes so all mature advice is welcome. And it's a pain to do this on a cell phone.
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26 / F
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Posted 7/28/10

MongHu wrote:

I have dated, I have been engaged, I came close to getting married. About 6 weeks after our third was born (our second son), she met the BBD (Bigger, Better Deal) , which happened to be a man old enough to be her father. I found out 2 1/2 weeks later and they married about a month after that ( on valentine's day). She immediately got pregnant with a 4th. (His) She had no remorse, no guilt or anything. She just "upgraded".

The last time I saw any of my kids was march this year.

I still have the marriage license, which is now expired. I still have all the court paperwork, family photos, etc.

It took me awhile to recover from that and start dating again, this time around, with a new set of "eyes". In this age where people swap "life partners" more than they swap cars and where the line "in sickness and in health, till death do us part" is more of a formality, like saying grace, rather than a sincere line, I've come to question the need for it at all.

One can be a complete person on their own. They do not need another person to complete them. That's called being dependent. One person can feed themselves, provide for themselves, and be financially stable. A second person isn't needed for this. One person can achieve success and realize ambitions in any career on their own. A spouse isn't needed for this.

Assuming the above is true, what then, is a relationship needed for?

Sex? Starting a family? Social status?

Love? (You must be kidding me.)

Love is all fine and dandy, until somebody that is more compatible with that person comes along.

I'll likely continue on and become one of those old men that are well off, confident, successful, handsome, and secure, but forever a bachelor. I figure I've had my shot at marriage and a family and screwed up.

So, casual dating is fun. No strings, no commitment, no dependency or drama. There's never the pressure of that "next step" , because it will never be taken. Anxiety is no excuse. It is just like testing the water in the pool with your big toe and finding it cold. You can either stay out of the pool, ease your way in gradually, or just take a running leap and cannonball in and get it over with.

Once you do start, it is hard to stop, another person hit the nail on the head.

The entire point of me sharing this little narrative is what I wanted to add. You can only truly enjoy dating once you see it as an extra, a form of entertainment, an improvement, and/or fun, rather than a necessity or something you *must* do (because everyone else is doing it !) or a chore.

Learn all you can, keep your eyes open and your heart clear and objective, 'lest you fall into the same tragedy that other, less aware people have.





duuude that story was so crazy!! i am so sorry :tears:
i never knew people like that actually existed
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21 / M / Watching everything
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Posted 7/28/10

Feonalily wrote:

duuude that story was so crazy!! i am so sorry :tears:
i never knew people like that actually existed


Then you must be very naive. By no means am I trying to insult you, but it's sadly the truth. Worse things have been and will be done.
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26 / F
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Posted 7/28/10

zombehs wrote:


Feonalily wrote:

duuude that story was so crazy!! i am so sorry :tears:
i never knew people like that actually existed


Then you must be very naive. By no means am I trying to insult you, but it's sadly the truth. Worse things have been and will be done.


i am not naive

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