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Enjo Kosai
Posted 7/29/10
Is this a real compliment or sarcasm? I'm too drowsy at the moment to tell the difference.
Posted 7/29/10

mystic17 wrote:

Is this a real compliment or sarcasm? I'm too drowsy at the moment to tell the difference.
Well when you consider my proposition regarding the topic, you'll see that my intention was meant as a compliment to you.

And don't worry, I know all too well just how impersonal Internet can get. So I won't fault you for not able to read my intention too well.
Posted 7/29/10
Ah okay thank you. I didn't read the comments thoroughly, I only skimmed through them. I do find enoj kosai rather abhorrent.
Posted 7/29/10

mystic17 wrote:

Ah okay thank you. I didn't read the comments thoroughly, I only skimmed through them. I do find enoj kosai rather abhorrent.
Likewise. When generally speaking I find the behavior often too superficial and downright demeaning. It's as if the only ones who will engaging in this activity are unskilled in natural human social behaviors. Why, you would think that they can't tell it's a date until a service charge was added in the first place.
Posted 7/29/10
Exactly. I don't see how those who favor this could sell themselves short to something so distasteful and call it a "date." It's sad.
Posted 7/30/10 , edited 7/30/10

mystic17 wrote:

Exactly. I don't see how those who favor this could sell themselves short to something so distasteful and call it a "date." It's sad.
And you know what's even sadder? This.

I mean can I just choose to have an intimate friendship, without me worrying over a service charge? And must I constantly second-guessing that the person is only pulling up an act for my money? Honesty is in such a short supply these days, but that's no justification to make a business out of being dishonest, IMHO.
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Posted 7/30/10 , edited 7/30/10

DomFortress wrote:

As in you don't have proof for your claim? Whereas I OTOH had simply eliminated all other options via inductive reasoning, thereby my proof is my reasoning via system of additional information. And that's a standard practice accepted everywhere in a court of laws.

Also, it's still only your hypothesis of "a single person other than wealthy married persons in any country has paid anyone anywhere for a date". Thereby the burden of proof is solely onto your shoulders, not mine.


You haven't proven anything except that Japanese men don't want dates. This concept is not solely limited to japan but you'd know that if you read the wiki article now wouldn't you, as it clearly mentions it. Therefor you cannot prove your argument without giving evidence from all the other countries that this occurs in, that only rich, married men pay women for dates.

Compensated dating is not limited to just Japan. I could void your entire argument simply by going out and finding some random chick and giving her 50 bucks to go to a movie to me. I am neither rich nor married nor in Japan, but I just participated in compensated dating. Its that simple. Anyone can do it, and if anyone can do it, people will do it.

Compensated dating can occur in any country in the world. Not just Japan. Anyone in pretty much any country in the world who is neither rich nor married can easily pay a woman to go on a date with him.
Posted 7/30/10

Allhailodin wrote:


DomFortress wrote:

As in you don't have proof for your claim? Whereas I OTOH had simply eliminated all other options via inductive reasoning, thereby my proof is my reasoning via system of additional information. And that's a standard practice accepted everywhere in a court of laws.

Also, it's still only your hypothesis of "a single person other than wealthy married persons in any country has paid anyone anywhere for a date". Thereby the burden of proof is solely onto your shoulders, not mine.


You haven't proven anything except that Japanese men don't want dates. This concept is not solely limited to japan but you'd know that if you read the wiki article now wouldn't you, as it clearly mentions it. Therefor you cannot prove your argument without giving evidence from all the other countries that this occurs in, that only rich, married men pay women for dates.

Compensated dating is not limited to just Japan. I could void your entire argument simply by going out and finding some random chick and giving her 50 bucks to go to a movie to me. I am neither rich nor married nor in Japan, but I just participated in compensated dating. Its that simple. Anyone can do it, and if anyone can do it, people will do it.

Compensated dating can occur in any country in the world. Not just Japan. Anyone in pretty much any country in the world who is neither rich nor married can easily pay a woman to go on a date with him.
Get the facts straight; you're paying for a social service from someone known as an escort, with no romantic feeling of love whatsoever to be classified as you two going on a "date". You calling it a "date" with nothing but your entitlement claims is a logical fallacy known as an oxymoron/non-sequitur.

So go ahead and sell yourself short, and delude yourself with your romantic fantasy. The girl will just take your money, when she doesn't have to care about your feelings anyway.
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Posted 7/30/10

DomFortress wrote:


Allhailodin wrote:


DomFortress wrote:

As in you don't have proof for your claim? Whereas I OTOH had simply eliminated all other options via inductive reasoning, thereby my proof is my reasoning via system of additional information. And that's a standard practice accepted everywhere in a court of laws.

Also, it's still only your hypothesis of "a single person other than wealthy married persons in any country has paid anyone anywhere for a date". Thereby the burden of proof is solely onto your shoulders, not mine.


You haven't proven anything except that Japanese men don't want dates. This concept is not solely limited to japan but you'd know that if you read the wiki article now wouldn't you, as it clearly mentions it. Therefor you cannot prove your argument without giving evidence from all the other countries that this occurs in, that only rich, married men pay women for dates.

Compensated dating is not limited to just Japan. I could void your entire argument simply by going out and finding some random chick and giving her 50 bucks to go to a movie to me. I am neither rich nor married nor in Japan, but I just participated in compensated dating. Its that simple. Anyone can do it, and if anyone can do it, people will do it.

Compensated dating can occur in any country in the world. Not just Japan. Anyone in pretty much any country in the world who is neither rich nor married can easily pay a woman to go on a date with him.


Get the facts straight; you're paying for a social service from someone known as an escort, with no romantic feeling of love whatsoever to be classified as you two going on a "date". You calling it a "date" with nothing but your entitlement claims is a logical fallacy known as an oxymoron/non-sequitur.

So go ahead and sell yourself short, and delude yourself with your romantic fantasy. The girl will just take your money, when she doesn't have to care about your feelings anyway.


Personal feelings are irrelevant to the concept of dating. You can go on a date with someone with no feelings at all. Arranged and Blind dates ring any bells ? Hell you can even marry someone you feel nothing for. Arranged marriages.

And who ever mentioned romance ? Romantic feelings are irrelevant to this concept.
Posted 7/30/10 , edited 7/30/10

Allhailodin wrote:



Personal feelings are irrelevant to the concept of dating. You can go on a date with someone with no feelings at all. Arranged and Blind dates ring any bells ? Hell you can even marry someone you feel nothing for. Arranged marriages.

And who ever mentioned romance ? Romantic feelings are irrelevant to this concept.
And I rest my case:

DomFortress wrote:In other words, only those who are emotionally bankrupted sociopaths would disregard their social selves' worth.
Posted 7/30/10

DomFortress wrote:

I mean can I just choose to have an intimate friendship, without me worrying over a service charge? And must I constantly second-guessing that the person is only pulling up an act for my money? Honesty is in such a short supply these days, but that's no justification to make a business out of being dishonest, IMHO.


What can you do? Honesty and sincerity seems like a fad for some.
Posted 7/30/10

mystic17 wrote:



What can you do? Honesty and sincerity seems like a fad for some.
It's more like loyalty to the might dollar for the rest. And even then it's a bad choice for the right reason.
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Posted 7/31/10
To be fair.

One could make an argument that all dating is 'compensated'

unless the girl insists on going 'dutch' (sharing half the costs) rejects the roses and chocolates, and either provides or pays for the transport. I'd argue that the vast majority of dates I've seen in movies/anime, heard described and lord knows ALL the ones I've taken a girl on myself have been 'compensated', I had one girlfriend who I dropped because she really did make me feel like I was paying for her company. I didn't like being made to feel predatory and unwanted by turns. I would argue that Domfortress is right, paying someone to keep you company (or getting paid for same) is damaging to your self respect.

So girls. It's the age of equality, stop expecting the guy to pick up the cheque.
Posted 7/31/10

papagolfwhiskey wrote:

To be fair.

One could make an argument that all dating is 'compensated'

unless the girl insists on going 'dutch' (sharing half the costs) rejects the roses and chocolates, and either provides or pays for the transport. I'd argue that the vast majority of dates I've seen in movies/anime, heard described and lord knows ALL the ones I've taken a girl on myself have been 'compensated', I had one girlfriend who I dropped because she really did make me feel like I was paying for her company. I didn't like being made to feel predatory and unwanted by turns. I would argue that Domfortress is right, paying someone to keep you company (or getting paid for same) is damaging to your self respect.

So girls. It's the age of equality, stop expecting the guy to pick up the cheque.
The truth is that was a harsh lesson for me to learn, and here's my story.(background music for authenticity)

I had an 11 years long crush over my high school sweetheart, but she was the popular pretty girl whereas I OTOH was this geeky, nerdy kid who happens to be good with the subjects that she wasn't. Her family was rich -her food allowance back in high school alone was $2000/month- so going out with her back then felt like such a financial burden to me, because I wasn't as nearly well made as she was. She was an international student who moved from one home-stay family to the next, whereas I OTOH had a stable family setting.(the only saving grace) She had plenty attentions came from different male admirers, but I was the only guy who's ever got inside of her room as her high school tutor. As it turned out she was afraid of most guys because her father was a jerk, who married into her mother's family but then divorced her, when he had his own business in China with her money as capital. BTW, the two of us never did do anything when we were alone back then, not even first-base.

I was one year her senior, so when I struggled with my college courses, while my family was having financial problem due to my father got arrested with illegal weapon smuggling in Taiwan. She too had changed from the good nature girl with a chip on her shoulders that I once knew, to a party girl who's suffering from depression and low self-esteem, due to her unrealistic expectation of her body image; she thought she was too fat, but in reality she's of healthy body proportion and weight. She tried for a year and a half in university, and then she quit and flew back to Taiwan to pursuit a career in the Asian entertainment industry, using her old contacts back when she worked was a child model.

I dropped out of college and was feeling really lost with my life, unmotivated, and uninspired even after I just became a born-again Christian.(whatever that was) That's when my father -out on probation and was working at his friend's hotel&golf resort as a chef- got me a chance to work in Taiwan as a translator on the golf curt. So it begone as my one year experience working as an illegal worker in Taiwan, earning below minimum wage without a work visa.(at least my food and board and travel was covered) Of course I took the liberty of contacting my high school crush, and we had dates back then in Taiwan whenever that I could afford to do so. However not only the same feeling of financial burden persisted itself once again, I also sensed a feeling of isolation when she described her struggle and inner workings of the Asian entertainment industry. While she listened closely as I described my hope and dream of becoming a PE teacher, and what it would be like for me to teach kids how to exercise.

After I ended my illegal working experience in Taiwan, I returned to Canada without much savings. I worked around on entry level jobs for another year while trying to move out from my family's house, and that's when I suddenly got a request from her to become her roommate at her Richmond home.(I didn't even know she moved back in Canada) So it begone another 2 years of me keeping her company, while I was living on a very expensive dream; just the rent of her place was easily 2/3rd of my earning. And that's when I discovered that she's being pursuit by a self-made entrepreneur, so things got really complicated.(like it hadn't already) On top of that the guy was a control-freak: he stalked on her, talked her out of her study, showered her with expensive high-class lifestyles of the rich&famous, even built a house for her so that when they get married, she wouldn't have to lift a finger for the rest of her life. Nevertheless I was feeling a deep resentment and betrayal from the both of them, that's on top of the fact that he was telling her that I couldn't be trusted living with her. At this point, I want to point out that as pathetic as this may sound, both herself and I still never got on first-base.

That's when I decided that I just can't take the abuse anymore, if she couldn't respect herself then I surly was not obligated to respect her either. And 3 years after I moved out of her place, she called me again to move back in with her as her butler, after she gets settle down in her new marriage. Needless to say, my rage upon hearing this request she made was the last draw for me to abandon all my ties with her. And since then I've never heard from her again.

BTW, I'm now happily in an open relationship with my current girlfriend for 4 years and counting. And because of the harsh lesson from my previous relationships, I now know just how to balance romantic intimacy with practicality. As a bonus, I'm now studying as a sociologist and planning a career as a family counselor.
Posted 8/7/10
I wouldn't date for money or items but I have several close male friends who occasionally need someone who looks good in a formal and knows how to socialize with their crowd to attend functions with them. We usually both end up having fun and we don't have to worry about the whole "romantic pressure" side to the date. We're stricly no sex though... I don't do the whole friends with benefits thing.
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