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Enjo Kosai
Posted 8/7/10

papagolfwhiskey wrote:

To be fair.

One could make an argument that all dating is 'compensated' .......So girls. It's the age of equality, stop expecting the guy to pick up the cheque.




Excellent point I suppose even if you go dutch you are compensated by the enjoyment of each others company. :-) I would add that guys sometimes need to loosen up a bit and not be offended if the lady does pay the check...

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Posted 8/7/10

WhenDreamsDie wrote:


papagolfwhiskey wrote:

To be fair.

One could make an argument that all dating is 'compensated' .......So girls. It's the age of equality, stop expecting the guy to pick up the cheque.




Excellent point I suppose even if you go dutch you are compensated by the enjoyment of each others company. :-) I would add that guys sometimes need to loosen up a bit and not be offended if the lady does pay the check...



I'd be overjoyed. Well... regardless of gender if I invite a friend out to dinner or a movie I always offer to pick up the tab since it's my invite but that's just me. I'd be very impressed with a Lady who insisted on going dutch despite my protests of "But I invited you."


Posted 8/7/10
[


I think the one who asked should expect to pay but not be obligated to pay. That still tends to put more burden on the guy because they typically end up being the one to ask more often. In my case I don't like for a guy to pay for my meal because it makes me feel sort of 'obligated' to them so I generally try to pay for my own and if I know they are short on cash I try to pay for theirs too.

However, I often run into men who are deeply offended by me wanting to pay the bill as if I have somehow attacked their manhood by suggesting it. For them I try to order less expensive items and choose cheaper or free places to go if I know they can't really afford it. If they have plenty of cash I just let them pay or don't go out with them.

I hate that money has to be an issue between friends. My female friends never have a problem letting me pick up the tab so maybe it's just that society has conditioned us with the male as provider thing for so long that men have trouble shaking it off?
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Posted 8/7/10 , edited 8/7/10

WhenDreamsDie wrote:



I think the one who asked should expect to pay but not be obligated to pay. That still tends to put more burden on the guy because they typically end up being the one to ask more often. In my case I don't like for a guy to pay for my meal because it makes me feel sort of 'obligated' to them so I generally try to pay for my own and if I know they are short on cash I try to pay for theirs too.

However, I often run into men who are deeply offended by me wanting to pay the bill as if I have somehow attacked their manhood by suggesting it. For them I try to order less expensive items and choose cheaper or free places to go if I know they can't really afford it. If they have plenty of cash I just let them pay or don't go out with them.

I hate that money has to be an issue between friends. My female friends never have a problem letting me pick up the tab so maybe it's just that society has conditioned us with the male as provider thing for so long that men have trouble shaking it off?


I think that's very possible. The other possibility when it's it a date between a man and woman who may otherwise consider themselves strangers is exactly that sense of obligation. Hate to say it as a man but men can behave like pigs far too often. A sense of obligation might just be one more wedge between your knees.

When I was more actively dating. (I've gotten comfortable in my middle aged bachelor state) I'd often make sure the other party had cab fare home just so that it was clear we both knew she had an exit strategy at all times. and that it truly was a pressure and expectation free date (not one without hope perhaps, but expectation free)

Posted 8/7/10
[


When I was more actively dating. (I've gotten comfortable in my middle aged bachelor state) I'd often make sure the other party had cab fare home just so that it was clear we both knew she had an exit strategy at all times. and that it truly was a pressure and expectation free date (not one without hope perhaps, but expectation free)



That makes sense and it's sweet of you to give the lady a way out. I always make sure I have an escape route if I'm going out with someone new. I don't do a lot of one on one dating at the moment though. I have no desire for a relationship and I think it's unfair to give guys false hope. Nice to know there's guys out there secure enough in their manhood not to mind if a lady picks up the tab now and then. :-)

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Posted 8/7/10 , edited 8/7/10

WhenDreamsDie wrote:



That makes sense and it's sweet of you to give the lady a way out. I always make sure I have an escape route if I'm going out with someone new. I don't do a lot of one on one dating at the moment though. I have no desire for a relationship and I think it's unfair to give guys false hope. Nice to know there's guys out there secure enough in their manhood not to mind if a lady picks up the tab now and then. :-)



Sigh... well... you know what they say about perfect gentlemen.

But yeah I'm reasonably secure and much more aware of who I am than I might have been in the past.



Posted 8/7/10

papagolfwhiskey wrote:


WhenDreamsDie wrote:



That makes sense and it's sweet of you to give the lady a way out. I always make sure I have an escape route if I'm going out with someone new. I don't do a lot of one on one dating at the moment though. I have no desire for a relationship and I think it's unfair to give guys false hope. Nice to know there's guys out there secure enough in their manhood not to mind if a lady picks up the tab now and then. :-)



Sigh... well... you know what they say about perfect gentlemen.

But yeah I'm reasonably secure and much more aware of who I am than I might have been in the past.





LOL yes ... There are no perfect gentleman and if I do happen to meet a perfect gentleman I should run away as quickly as possible because an imperfect lady like me will be sure to ruin him? ;-)
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Posted 8/7/10

WhenDreamsDie wrote:


papagolfwhiskey wrote:


WhenDreamsDie wrote:



That makes sense and it's sweet of you to give the lady a way out. I always make sure I have an escape route if I'm going out with someone new. I don't do a lot of one on one dating at the moment though. I have no desire for a relationship and I think it's unfair to give guys false hope. Nice to know there's guys out there secure enough in their manhood not to mind if a lady picks up the tab now and then. :-)



Sigh... well... you know what they say about perfect gentlemen.

But yeah I'm reasonably secure and much more aware of who I am than I might have been in the past.





LOL yes ... There are no perfect gentleman and if I do happen to meet a perfect gentleman I should run away as quickly as possible because an imperfect lady like me will be sure to ruin him? ;-)


Actually I was going to imply he was a member of the LGBT community.

Posted 8/7/10

papagolfwhiskey wrote:


WhenDreamsDie wrote:


papagolfwhiskey wrote:


WhenDreamsDie wrote:



That makes sense and it's sweet of you to give the lady a way out. I always make sure I have an escape route if I'm going out with someone new. I don't do a lot of one on one dating at the moment though. I have no desire for a relationship and I think it's unfair to give guys false hope. Nice to know there's guys out there secure enough in their manhood not to mind if a lady picks up the tab now and then. :-)



Sigh... well... you know what they say about perfect gentlemen.

But yeah I'm reasonably secure and much more aware of who I am than I might have been in the past.





LOL yes ... There are no perfect gentleman and if I do happen to meet a perfect gentleman I should run away as quickly as possible because an imperfect lady like me will be sure to ruin him? ;-)


Actually I was going to imply he was a member of the LGBT community.



LOL.... none of my LGBT friends are perfect gentlemen or perfect ladies but I've heard it that way too. I suppose we are in danger of spamming now... Thanks for the entertaining conversation though.

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Posted 8/7/10
YEah sorry so... Rerailing the topic.

uhhh...

Nevermind I think I've said all I need to on this subject for the moment.
Posted 8/7/10

papagolfwhiskey wrote:


WhenDreamsDie wrote:



I think the one who asked should expect to pay but not be obligated to pay. That still tends to put more burden on the guy because they typically end up being the one to ask more often. In my case I don't like for a guy to pay for my meal because it makes me feel sort of 'obligated' to them so I generally try to pay for my own and if I know they are short on cash I try to pay for theirs too.

However, I often run into men who are deeply offended by me wanting to pay the bill as if I have somehow attacked their manhood by suggesting it. For them I try to order less expensive items and choose cheaper or free places to go if I know they can't really afford it. If they have plenty of cash I just let them pay or don't go out with them.

I hate that money has to be an issue between friends. My female friends never have a problem letting me pick up the tab so maybe it's just that society has conditioned us with the male as provider thing for so long that men have trouble shaking it off?


I think that's very possible. The other possibility when it's it a date between a man and woman who may otherwise consider themselves strangers is exactly that sense of obligation. Hate to say it as a man but men can behave like pigs far too often. A sense of obligation might just be one more wedge between your knees.

When I was more actively dating. (I've gotten comfortable in my middle aged bachelor state) I'd often make sure the other party had cab fare home just so that it was clear we both knew she had an exit strategy at all times. and that it truly was a pressure and expectation free date (not one without hope perhaps, but expectation free)
Well now that we're all in the mood for truth reconciliation, I would like to say that I too find all forms of romantic relationship obligation to be very irrational. As in why can't I just be socially active with a woman that I honestly happen to be romantically attached to? It's as if I wasn't being honest unless I fulfilled these arbitrary "cultural" obligations, something like "I'm not being honest with my feelings unless I did such-and-such" as according to a specific culture.

This is why I've came up with my own holistic approach to romantic intimacy; I offer her back-rubs.
Posted 8/7/10

DomFortress wrote:

Well now that we're all in the mood for truth reconciliation, I would like to say that I too find all forms of romantic relationship obligation to be very irrational. As in why can't I just be socially active with a woman that I honestly happen to be romantically attached to? It's as if I wasn't being honest unless I fulfilled these arbitrary "cultural" obligations, something like "I'm not being honest with my feelings unless I did such-and-such" as according to a specific culture.

This is why I've came up with my own holistic approach to romantic intimacy; I offer her back-rubs.


LOL You gave away your secret, now all the ladies on CR know what you mean when you offer a back rub. ;-) Cultural obligations are meant to keep us all confused ... ermmm I mean civilized.
Posted 8/7/10 , edited 8/7/10

WhenDreamsDie wrote:


DomFortress wrote:

Well now that we're all in the mood for truth reconciliation, I would like to say that I too find all forms of romantic relationship obligation to be very irrational. As in why can't I just be socially active with a woman that I honestly happen to be romantically attached to? It's as if I wasn't being honest unless I fulfilled these arbitrary "cultural" obligations, something like "I'm not being honest with my feelings unless I did such-and-such" as according to a specific culture.

This is why I've came up with my own holistic approach to romantic intimacy; I offer her back-rubs.


LOL You gave away your secret, now all the ladies on CR know what you mean when you offer a back rub. ;-) Cultural obligations are meant to keep us all confused ... ermmm I mean civilized.
It's official then; I cannot give artificial back-rub via the Internet.

These strong and warm hands of mine are meant for sensually stimulate a real woman's backside. Anything less would be uncivilized. Plus, it's a very soothing yet nonverbal communication style that can help her to relax through skinship. It's a win-win for foreplay, there's no secret there.
Posted 8/7/10

DomFortress wrote:


WhenDreamsDie wrote:


DomFortress wrote:

Well now that we're all in the mood for truth reconciliation, I would like to say that I too find all forms of romantic relationship obligation to be very irrational. As in why can't I just be socially active with a woman that I honestly happen to be romantically attached to? It's as if I wasn't being honest unless I fulfilled these arbitrary "cultural" obligations, something like "I'm not being honest with my feelings unless I did such-and-such" as according to a specific culture.

This is why I've came up with my own holistic approach to romantic intimacy; I offer her back-rubs.


LOL You gave away your secret, now all the ladies on CR know what you mean when you offer a back rub. ;-) Cultural obligations are meant to keep us all confused ... ermmm I mean civilized.
It's official then; I cannot give artificial back-rub via the Internet.

These strong and warm hands of mine are meant for sensually stimulate a real woman's backside. Anything less would be uncivilized. Plus, it's a very soothing yet nonverbal communication style that can help her to relax through skinship. It's a win-win for foreplay, there's no secret there.



So true, cyber massages don't sound at all appealing anyway... or at least to me they dont'... Still I'm sure you'll have a whole cadre of dissapointed ladies running round here. ;-)
Posted 8/7/10

WhenDreamsDie wrote:


DomFortress wrote:


WhenDreamsDie wrote:


DomFortress wrote:

Well now that we're all in the mood for truth reconciliation, I would like to say that I too find all forms of romantic relationship obligation to be very irrational. As in why can't I just be socially active with a woman that I honestly happen to be romantically attached to? It's as if I wasn't being honest unless I fulfilled these arbitrary "cultural" obligations, something like "I'm not being honest with my feelings unless I did such-and-such" as according to a specific culture.

This is why I've came up with my own holistic approach to romantic intimacy; I offer her back-rubs.


LOL You gave away your secret, now all the ladies on CR know what you mean when you offer a back rub. ;-) Cultural obligations are meant to keep us all confused ... ermmm I mean civilized.
It's official then; I cannot give artificial back-rub via the Internet.

These strong and warm hands of mine are meant for sensually stimulate a real woman's backside. Anything less would be uncivilized. Plus, it's a very soothing yet nonverbal communication style that can help her to relax through skinship. It's a win-win for foreplay, there's no secret there.



So true, cyber massages don't sound at all appealing anyway... or at least to me they dont'... Still I'm sure you'll have a whole cadre of dissapointed ladies running round here. ;-)
I had better, like for real.
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