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Abortion woman rights but where are the mans rights.
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24 / F / North Carolina
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Posted 8/12/12
I think this is insane. I don't understand why women have the right to decide if they want a child, but a man doesn't. It goes both ways of I'm not mistaken, please correct me if I'm wrong. If a man wants the child, but the woman doesn't then she can still get an abortion. However, if a man doesn't want the child, but the woman does then the man is expected to pay child support or go to jail if he doesn't long enough.

It takes two to make a baby, but it seems that after the sperm meets egg the man loses all rights to make choices.

Just in case, I am a woman, I am fine with women having the choice of what to do with there bodies, and I do have a child of my own. So, I don't feel I'm being biased or anything. If my child's birth was an accident and her father didn't want her I would expect him to say something so we could go our separate ways. Of course I'd be angry an disappointed, but that's life. I'm not going to force him to do something he doesn't want to do.
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Posted 8/12/12

LosingOrbit wrote:


How the heck can he, a man who's unable to bare a child in the first place, have the right to tell the women that can to have an abortion? Maybe he should have thought of using protection.



I may be confused, but I don't think the original poster mentioned the man forcing the woman to have an abortion. Why can't he just choose not to help support it and not see it? I can understand how he should have thought about using protection (if that's the reason the woman got pregnant), but doesn't the woman also have the responsibility to either say no, take birth control (which is free if you cant afford it), or just not spread her legs? I don't think men should be able to decide if a woman has an abortion or not, but I don't think a man should be forced to support a child he doesn't want if a woman has the ability to make that same choice. It is true I takes two to make a baby. There is female and male birth control that work extremely well. And, of course, there are always exceptions to every opinion.
Posted 8/12/12 , edited 8/12/12

heyya15965 wrote:

I think this is insane. I don't understand why women have the right to decide if they want a child, but a man doesn't. It goes both ways of I'm not mistaken, please correct me if I'm wrong. If a man wants the child, but the woman doesn't then she can still get an abortion. However, if a man doesn't want the child, but the woman does then the man is expected to pay child support or go to jail if he doesn't long enough.

It takes two to make a baby, but it seems that after the sperm meets egg the man loses all rights to make choices.

Just in case, I am a woman, I am fine with women having the choice of what to do with there bodies, and I do have a child of my own. So, I don't feel I'm being biased or anything. If my child's birth was an accident and her father didn't want her I would expect him to say something so we could go our separate ways. Of course I'd be angry an disappointed, but that's life. I'm not going to force him to do something he doesn't want to do.
And when the fact is our own society is forcing ourselves to do what we don't want to do, then what?

Since you put your own personal experience on the line, here's mine from the beginning of this thread almost 2 years ago.

DomFortress wrote:

That's the point, he can and will let his opinion about it be heard, but that still doesn't mean that it must be follow without the woman had given considerable thought about it.

Two years ago, I got my girlfriend pregnant without me knowing it, and then she got an abortion again without my knowledge. The secrecy had caused her considerable, yet totally unnecessary IMHO, guilt about what's perhaps the best move under her circumstances; neither herself nor myself could support the unborn child as who we were, should she ever gone ahead with the pregnancy. Because realistically speaking, you would have to be at least a middle class family earning double-wages, or one high earning wage, in order to sustain child care in a developed country.

Now you tell me, why should my girlfriend be feeling any sort of guilt? When it's my action that caused her pregnancy in the first place, while she could had simply said "no". In other words, my choice, my responsibility. And I shouldn't be vindicating for her sake, unless we're still living in a society that unjustly victimizing women for something that's not their fault.
The difference now is that it has been over a year since my ex had violently rejected me. And although I no longer grieve from the lost of that emotional attachment, I still find the whole lost to be regrettable.

Kathryn Schulz: Don't regret regret
We're taught to try to live life without regret. But why? Using her own tattoo as an example, Kathryn Schulz makes a powerful and moving case for embracing our regrets.

This idea is nicely captured by this quote: "Things without all remedy should be without regard; what's done is done." And it seems like kind of an admirable philosophy at first -- something we might all agree to sign onto ... until I tell you who said it. Right, so this is Lady MacBeth basically telling her husband to stop being such a wuss for feeling bad about murdering people. And as it happens, Shakespeare was onto something here, as he generally was. Because the inability to experience regret is actually one of the diagnostic characteristics of sociopaths. It's also, by the way, a characteristic of certain kinds of brain damage. So people who have damage to their orbital frontal cortex seem to be unable to feel regret in the face of even obviously very poor decisions. So if, in fact, you want to live a life free of regret, there is an option open to you. It's called a lobotomy. But if you want to be fully functional and fully human and fully humane, I think you need to learn to live, not without regret, but with it.
Another note, I myself was an unplanned birth. And based on what I've gathered from my father's story, the consequence of my birth was so distressful that my own mother just couldn't take it back then and ran away, and the whole family came apart as a result.

I don't think the women's right to choose abortion is the magic silver-bullet for a life of freedom, but rather it's a responsibility with powerful multiphase consequences.
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Posted 8/15/12
Oh, please. Cry me a river. Men have plenty of rights besides this one.

... Kidding. I realize this is a big deal. I'm going to ask my husband if he wants a child. We'd both have to agree on it. Accidental pregnancy could also be a miracle... I mean, we are husband and wife. Kids may be expected. Hence the marriage. But I'm just saying, I'll take it slow. Not rush into it.
Posted 8/17/12
First of all, the man is not the one who will have to give birth...., just throwing it out there. Not saying that it denounces all the rights the man should have

but what happens if none of them come to an agreement? Sure the father can say his thoughts but the one with the child in her womb will have to make the decision, it cruel for him but it will also be cruel to the mother if the man was the only one who has a say to what happens to the baby.
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