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Sex before Marriage?
Posted 4/2/11

DomFortress wrote:


PsyonicB wrote:



I believe you're forgeting that people want things greater than bodily desires. There are people who serve themselves for thier own plesure, and there are less selfish people who aren't mastubating apes hanging from tree-tops. People who roam freely having sex, "free-love", are repulsive, they are people who are led by their bodily desires. Following natural urges, ridiculus. People have a cerebral cortex for a reason you know. We also have souls (No one needs to debate the existance of the soul, none of us would have probably changed our minds anyway, since there practically isn't really any way to scientifically prove that it exist.)

People make should make smart choices. Getting married is like a contract, you are stuck with that one person until one of you or both of you die. It's called honoring a contract, and honor is something non-humans lack.
Your hypothesis about an "honor system" doesn't float, when it comes to the biology of romantic love. Furthermore, as long as humans are social animals who require a great deals of personal socialization, your hypothesis of a soul is also moot. When human nature is nurture within the context of sociology.


DerfelCadarn wrote:



As extreme as it may sound, I am with you here. We are slowly evolving to a state both biologically and in terms of science where we can, perhaps, shake off the shackles of our own genes. While sexual stimulation of all sorts can be greatly pleasant, ultimately, it is a method devised by our own genes to force us into slavery, to force us to replicate them. I believe we should support the thought that genes are to be made a tool of reproduction for us, should we decide, consciously and rationally, to create new members of our species, as opposed to allowing them to perpetuate themselves through the use of, well, us.

But there are those who would have us believe that anything that isn't natural in their views is an abomination. Try convincing the brainless masses that there can be an alternative to 9 months of discomfort, hormonal imbalance and hours of physical pain and mental trauma at the end of this delightful 9 month period. Hell, you probably couldn't even convince the women of your ideas thanks to how people are governed by the instincts fostered by our genes. I say it is time for radical genetic engineering. It is time for our pressure groups, if we have any, to stand up and invite those that oppose transhumanism to line up for the purpose of providing fellatio services. In the political sphere and elsewhere.

That said, I still maintain that there is nothing wrong, from a moral perspective, with sexual intercourse before, during or after marriage. There is, indeed, no moral perspective, there are interests.

I disagree on the soul bit, though. I believe that we are matter, nothing more or less than that.
Then you still have to face the limitation of human neurophysiology. Case to point, have you ever wonder why does it take relatively far longer time for the human babies to start moving on their own power? Simple, it's the very openness and elasticity, yet critical process of human brain development caused by socialization.

Not only that, you overlooked the fact that mother-baby attachment can go in both ways. In other words, the mothers require socialization to build attachment with their babies, which is why they need more social support during pregnancy. Furthermore, when a pregnant woman was constantly confronted by antisocial, even hostile social scene. Both herself and the fetus will develop a greater probability towards violence tendency later on in their lives, due to the fact of psychosocial inequality. AKA socioeconomic status(SES) health gradient due to porverty.


dirtymexican97 wrote:

I think its okay because if you really love someone and your not married and you're boht committed to hvaing sexual intercourse well then there should be nothing holding you back~
Yet another superficial and stereotypical rhetoric of "love" and "commitment." Do you have any idea how to build trust and commitment within a close relationship? When the reality is that your superficial and stereotypical expectation of romance in mainstream is unrealistically dramatized.


I think my point of view is fine so leave it at that.
Posted 4/2/11
Follow what you believe in, that is all. If your beliefs is to wait then you should. However beliefs can be an overture and be equally damaging. Which is why I largely follow my own constructed ideology... As patchworked and controversial it is, it's worth something.

Do it whenever you are ready and can take responsibility, that is my belief. Follow whatever you want long as you don't impose the beliefs you follow onto another person. I personally think love is largely lost in the world, and commitment comes at a personal price.
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Posted 4/2/11
I didnt know waiting till marriage in the U.S still existed,till now that is.
Posted 4/2/11

Lauriet wrote:

Follow what you believe in, that is all. If your beliefs is to wait then you should. However beliefs can be an overture and be equally damaging. Which is why I largely follow my own constructed ideology... As patchworked and controversial it is, it's worth something.

Do it whenever you are ready and can take responsibility, that is my belief. Follow whatever you want long as you don't impose the beliefs you follow onto another person. I personally think love is largely lost in the world, and commitment comes at a personal price.


Good answer n.n

Posted 4/2/11 , edited 4/3/11

dirtymexican97 wrote:


DomFortress wrote:


dirtymexican97 wrote:

I think its okay because if you really love someone and your not married and you're boht committed to hvaing sexual intercourse well then there should be nothing holding you back~
Yet another superficial and stereotypical rhetoric of "love" and "commitment." Do you have any idea how to build trust and commitment within a close relationship? When the reality is that your superficial and stereotypical expectation of romance in mainstream is unrealistically dramatized.


I think my point of view is fine so leave it at that.

Lauriet wrote:

Follow what you believe in, that is all. If your beliefs is to wait then you should. However beliefs can be an overture and be equally damaging. Which is why I largely follow my own constructed ideology... As patchworked and controversial it is, it's worth something.

Do it whenever you are ready and can take responsibility, that is my belief. Follow whatever you want long as you don't impose the beliefs you follow onto another person. I personally think love is largely lost in the world, and commitment comes at a personal price.

dirtymexican97 wrote:



Good answer
n.n
In that case both of you will not be happy, as on as you all subjectively think that loving someone romantically is a loss. Due to the evolutionary human cognitive limitation known as loss aversion.

So unless you learn the cognitive skill of synthetic happiness through contentment, your own self-fulfilling prophecy/beliefs/expectations about what romantic love is will be the sole cause of your own downfall. No exception.
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Posted 4/5/11
It's the love that matters in marriage I believe. But I guess, your gonna make your partner happy, if he's your first.
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Posted 4/9/11
It should be up to couples not the moral majority . If you and your lover or a stranger wanna get nasty it is no ones concern but yours and that person .
Posted 4/9/11

Chrstwrg3 wrote:

It should be up to couples not the moral majority . If you and your lover or a stranger wanna get nasty it is no ones concern but yours and that person .
Correction, just because it's a "majority" doesn't sufficiently makes them "moral" nor "correct."
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Posted 4/9/11
The world teaches us that we should wait until marriage, but in reality that does not often happen. Furthermore, marriage means less and less as time goes on. As a person who had sex before marriage, I have several views on this subject.
When I was young (in high school), I was very religious. I believed you would go to Hell if you had sex before marriage. I didn't really date anyone because I didn't believe there was anyone I was interested in dating at my high school. I believed I would go to college, magically meet the perfect man, and get married. Instead, I went to college, attended my first party, got drunk for the first time, and lost my virginity to some man I didn't know. I didn't intend for my first time to be like that, but it was.
After that, I was stigmatized by the other girls in my Christian dorm who wrote "slut" and "whore" on the chalkboard on my door, threw away my clothes while I was in the shower, and told me that I was a harlot who would burn in Hell for my sins. Being angry and immature, I proceeded to act like the slut I had been accused of being and had a string of one night stands. I was smart about sex, but I was very young and scared, and every time I had sex I would go to the clinic the next day crying and demand to be tested for aids and stds, and spend large amounts of money on pregnancy tests.
I left college and I did some growing up. I didn't sleep with anyone for 5 years, and then I met my current boyfriend. I knew I loved him, and always wanted to be with him, so I slept with him. We live together now, and we are very happy. We are not married, and we may never be. Neither of us really place importance on having an expensive wedding for the public's benefit when we consider ourselves married already. If we ever do get married, it will be solely to appease our families, or for legal reasons if one of us becomes ill. I can't imagine what life would be like for the two of us if we did not have sex because we are not married. There would be something essential missing in our relationship, a closeness you can only obtain by becoming one with somebody else.
Ultimately, the point I am trying to make is that I do believe in sex before marriage, but only if you love someone, you use protection, and you are ready. When I was in college, I was not ready, and I should have waited. Now I love my boyfriend, and I do not believe that us having sex is in any way wrong.
Posted 4/9/11 , edited 4/9/11

KittyBangOuch wrote:

The world teaches us that we should wait until marriage, but in reality that does not often happen. Furthermore, marriage means less and less as time goes on. As a person who had sex before marriage, I have several views on this subject.
When I was young (in high school), I was very religious. I believed you would go to Hell if you had sex before marriage. I didn't really date anyone because I didn't believe there was anyone I was interested in dating at my high school. I believed I would go to college, magically meet the perfect man, and get married. Instead, I went to college, attended my first party, got drunk for the first time, and lost my virginity to some man I didn't know. I didn't intend for my first time to be like that, but it was.
After that, I was stigmatized by the other girls in my Christian dorm who wrote "slut" and "whore" on the chalkboard on my door, threw away my clothes while I was in the shower, and told me that I was a harlot who would burn in Hell for my sins. Being angry and immature, I proceeded to act like the slut I had been accused of being and had a string of one night stands. I was smart about sex, but I was very young and scared, and every time I had sex I would go to the clinic the next day crying and demand to be tested for aids and stds, and spend large amounts of money on pregnancy tests.
I left college and I did some growing up. I didn't sleep with anyone for 5 years, and then I met my current boyfriend. I knew I loved him, and always wanted to be with him, so I slept with him. We live together now, and we are very happy. We are not married, and we may never be. Neither of us really place importance on having an expensive wedding for the public's benefit when we consider ourselves married already. If we ever do get married, it will be solely to appease our families, or for legal reasons if one of us becomes ill. I can't imagine what life would be like for the two of us if we did not have sex because we are not married. There would be something essential missing in our relationship, a closeness you can only obtain by becoming one with somebody else.
Ultimately, the point I am trying to make is that I do believe in sex before marriage, but only if you love someone, you use protection, and you are ready. When I was in college, I was not ready, and I should have waited. Now I love my boyfriend, and I do not believe that us having sex is in any way wrong.
I hope that this would help you understand the psychosocial situation you were subjected in.
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Posted 4/11/11
Even if it's not always OK in my religion I think it's fine, if you don't use it for bad things, like havnig sex for money.
If there is a person you really like i think it's a go-go. But "wait to the marriage" sounds beautiful tho
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Posted 4/12/11
When I was at high school; I was in a group of teenagers formed to help their mates make the best decisions in their life especially about sexuality. So we tried to convince everyone to wait for marriage to have sex. That was our goal, a challenge, but when you are facing life,things are very different. I'm not married yet but I'm sexually active. For me, it's not a problem to have sex before marriage as long as you assume your choice; it's your life so don"t play games!!
Posted 4/12/11

Manga_Lou wrote:

When I was at high school; I was in a group of teenagers formed to help their mates make the best decisions in their life especially about sexuality. So we tried to convince everyone to wait for marriage to have sex. That was our goal, a challenge, but when you are facing life,things are very different. I'm not married yet but I'm sexually active. For me, it's not a problem to have sex before marriage as long as you assume your choice; it's your life so don"t play games!!


There is an off chance you might have some issues with your sexuality in terms of illegitimate children or infections, but as for telling others to not play games with their lives, you might need to retract that statement, since you yourself are playing with a fire that burns fiercer than any other. It seems you gave up on your noble inspiration from youth in order to give in to lust. But hey, the adult world is a very different place than that of a child's, right? The lines between right and wrong blur, and we all take a seat in the gray area.
Posted 4/12/11

Pitch-black wrote:


Manga_Lou wrote:

When I was at high school; I was in a group of teenagers formed to help their mates make the best decisions in their life especially about sexuality. So we tried to convince everyone to wait for marriage to have sex. That was our goal, a challenge, but when you are facing life,things are very different. I'm not married yet but I'm sexually active. For me, it's not a problem to have sex before marriage as long as you assume your choice; it's your life so don"t play games!!


There is an off chance you might have some issues with your sexuality in terms of illegitimate children or infections, but as for telling others to not play games with their lives, you might need to retract that statement, since you yourself are playing with a fire that burns fiercer than any other.


What are you on about? Are you suggesting having sex before marriage is dangerous because you might get pregnant or contract and STD? If that's the case, I don't think you have any idea of what the actual chance of either thing happening is.
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Posted 4/12/11

Commodore_Octopus wrote:

I see a healthy view of self and sexuality as part of being human. If someone is mature, with healthy expectations and respect for themselves and others, than engaging in sex with another person is alright whether they are married or not.


I second
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