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Chuck Norris Facts
Posted 8/24/10 , edited 8/24/10

Neji_HyugaFan wrote:

I gotta say, all these facts are making me laugh my ass off xDDD!!


Same here. How did they come up wih this.They must be smart guys or probably cheating off of the internet. CR guys are actually funny.
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Posted 8/24/10
When taking a test, always write Chuck Norris for every answer - You will get a perfect score.
Posted 8/24/10
-When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
-All men are created equal. Equally inferior to Chuck Norris.
-Walker Texas Ranger wasn't an action crime drama, it was a documentary.

Posted 8/25/10
Chuck Norris doesn't only know the meaning of life,he is the meaning of life.
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Posted 8/25/10
Chuck Norris is my dad.
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28 / M / in a world where...
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Posted 8/25/10 , edited 8/25/10
hm lets get some anime related ones

Chuck Norris doesn't perform alchemy, he round house kicks an object into what he needs

The Philosopher's Stone is actually Chuck Norris's kidney stone

Chuck Norris doesn't need a Death Note, name, or a face, he simply stares in any direction and 45 seconds later someone dies

someone once tried to clone Chuck Norris but failed... that failure became known as Goku

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Posted 8/25/10

JaKiwi wrote:

Chuck Norris doesn't only know the meaning of life,he is the meaning of life.


haha this is one of my faves now xD
Posted 8/25/10

LemonyPanda wrote:


JaKiwi wrote:

Chuck Norris doesn't only know the meaning of life,he is the meaning of life.


haha this is one of my faves now xD


Lol,thanks.I just made it up on the spot.

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Posted 8/25/10 , edited 8/25/10
The moon influences the tides, Chuck Norris influences the moon.

Chuck Norris' sweat can be used as a steroid.

When Chuck Norris dies he is reborn from his ashes, then kicks butt anew.

Chuck Norris doesn't have kids, he has little Chuck Norris'

The six degrees of separation was at one time four degrees of separation, but Chuck Norris took out 1/6th of the world's population.

The $10,000 dollar bill says in Chuck Norris we trust. Chuck would not permit his name on a smaller bill.

The eye in the pyramid on the back of the dollar bill is a portal for Chuck Norris to peer into your soul.

When Chuck Norris was born viruses needed an inoculation from Chuck Norris.

The literal foot in mouth disease is a Chuck Norris inspired original.

In 2015 Chuck Norris is going to be sent to Jupiter to round house kick the huge storm out of existence.

Chuck Norris does not leave tips, the leftover food on his plate has a value greater than gold.

Time has no meaning or effect on Chuck Norris, and granted it to his personal friend Keith Richards.

Chuck Norris visited the OK Canyon in Arizona, pissed into it, and from then on will it forever be known as the Grand Canyon.

Lead becomes Gold because Chuck Norris wills it so.

Forest Gump was inspired to run from coast to coast from watching a Chuck Norris movie. Now we know.

The title of the book War and Peace was inspired by the names of Chuck Norris' fists.
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Posted 8/25/10
How many push-ups can Chuck Norris do? All of them
Posted 8/25/10
The other word for 2012 is Chuck Norris.
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Posted 8/25/10
when Chuck Norris smokes a cigar we get a hole on the ozone layer
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Posted 8/25/10
Chuck Norris was Hercules in Ancient Greece, just using a diffent name to hide his identity from the Gods, who were so afraid of him.

Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2. No one fools Chuck Norris.

According to the Theory of Relativity, Chuck Norris can actually roundhouse-kick you yesterday.

When Chuck Norris reads a bedtime story you sleep forever.

Chuck Norris was alloted his own section of Normandy Beach in 1944, and single-handedly disemboweled over 3,000 Germans using a potato peeler.

Chuck Norris expects the Spanish Inquisition.

Jesus walked on water, but Chuck Norris invented the boat

Not a huge lover of nature, Chuck Norris once killed a cloud. (It was shaped like a bunny).

Chuck Norris visited the Virgin Islands. When he left, it was called: the Islands

Jesus turned water into wine, but Chuck Norris turned wine into beer. Thank you Chuck Norris.

The 4 Horsemen of the Apocalypse are a symbolic reference to Chuck Norris' limbs.

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

As a teen, Chuck Norris happened upon a Convent of nuns tucked away in the hills of Tuscany, and subsequently impregnated every nun. Nine months later, the nuns gave birth to the 1972 Miami Dolphins.

Chuck Norris was originally considered for the lead role in 24. But after killing all of the terrorists in not 24 hours, but 24 seconds (he spent 23 cleaning up), the producers decided to go with someone else.

Chuck Norris shot J.R., killed Laura Palmer, perpetrated the Moldavian Massacre, and knows where the beef is. He ate it.

Chuck Norris can watch "60 Minutes" in 20 seconds.

Such as "When Chuck Norris does a push-up, he doesn't just push himself up; he pushes the Earth down", which has been true of any push-up since Isaac Newton's glorified defeat of gravity in 1707 required actions to have equal opposite reactions.
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Posted 8/25/10
Chuck Norris can make a mountant out of a mole hill, just by looking at it ....Mauna Kea
Posted 8/25/10
When Chuck Norris jumps into water he doesn't get wet, the water gets Chuck Norris.
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