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Would you rather hurt someone with the truth or hurt a person with a lie?
Posted 8/26/10 , edited 8/26/10
Please ignore the question you see when you open this post.

I intended my question to be like this

....Would you rather hurt someone with the truth than hurt someone with a lie?....

I never meant to ask which one you would choose, I only want to know which one you guys tend to choose over the other.


I asked the same question with my co workers and most of them said that they were more likely to hurt someone with the truth. However, this isnt the case in reality in my opinion. Say, you're seatmate (whom you know for a little while but not one you are close with) ask you how he/she looks with his/her outfit. He/She doesnt look good at all but out of the goodness of your heart you said yeah. You look nice. If you tell that person otherwise, he/she will get hurt. And that is the result that you want to avoid.

Maybe I'm just generalizing everybody and just basing everything in my opinion and the way i conceived this constantly changing world however, i personally believe we are more likely to hurt someone with a lie. I have reasons why Im more likely to hurt somebody with a lie:

Either I'm too nice to hurt someone. if I knew that the truth would hurt more, i'd rather hurt someone with a lie

or

Maybe I'm scared enough that if I speak the truth, someone will go mad at me and dislike me in the process.


The question is too general so I dont care if you'll only answer my question but I would like it very much if you share your experience/s where you were inclined to choose one over the other.



.....I'm not pretty sure if this is a duplicate. I'm too lazy to check, but if it is, you know what to do!
Posted 8/26/10
I would much rather hurt someone with the truth than with a lie, because once you lie things get messy and problems occur. But if you just straight up tell them the truth I think things will go more smoothly...
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Posted 8/26/10 , edited 8/26/10
Even the people that dislike you for(seemingly) the truth you speak, sometimes the truth isn't half as painful as the delivery.
Sometimes trying to cushion a fall is offensive, e.g. someone who takes pride in their tolerance for strides.
The wise ones don't get mad, just move on infinitely

And don't lie.
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Posted 8/26/10
i have to say that personally i havn't really had an experience like that if your talking about the outfit really if they think they look nice thats all that matters becuase they have there own style and there opinion is the only one that matters but in other situations like that even though it may hurt them telling the truth, you may hurt them even more when you tell a lie and they hear the truth from someone else. Coming back to the whole outfit scenario you could maybe not be so blunt with them just say "i prefer the other one" or "maybe you should dress up/down a bit more" . In the end it's all about what they like if they do end up getting hurt you could explain the dilema you have and ask them what they would do in your situation. In the outfit situation i don't think it's that big a deal if you say they look nice that's fine and totally up to you but if you were in there shoes what would you like to be told? i'm so sorry if this doesn't help at all but i thought i'd try =D i hope thing turn out okay for you
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Posted 8/26/10
Hurt them with the truth.
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Posted 8/26/10
truth like
"oh hunny does this make me look fat"
"well to tell you the truth babe yes it does"
"!@#$ YOU!"
Posted 8/26/10
I say it like it is. If that makes me a bitch and they start talking shit back to me for telling the truth and being honest then hey you know...screw them. When they see their Facebook photos and comment "omg I look so fat" I can say "See what I tell ya? Should've worn that little black number." People are such pessimists sometimes.


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Posted 8/26/10
I think the best thing to do is to hurt someone with the truth.
But on MY part, I'd rather throw back lies and save people's feelings. .–.
I always find it hard to tell the truth when I know it would make that
someone cry a river and I'd have to clean up the watery mess afterwards.

Ohkay, I don't think I'm making any sense.....
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Posted 8/26/10 , edited 8/26/10
i would prefer to hurt a person with the truth rather than with a lie, because if you're going to hurt them it might as well be for the better, or rather, for the truth. of course, no one really asks me much of anything, so whenever they do i usually say the truth cuz it's normally my sister and i don't worry about hurting her feelings too much.

that being said, i couldn't help of thinking of that geico commercial about abe lincoln being honest... it made me laugh XD
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Posted 8/26/10
im truthful. i have to be. i was raised to be. i dont really lie about alot of stuff because there is no point. if you didnt want the answer you should not have asked me the question in the first place
Posted 8/26/10

Phyzjob wrote:

I think the best thing to do is to hurt someone with the truth.
But on MY part, I'd rather throw back lies and save people's feelings. .–.
I always find it hard to tell the truth when I know it would make that
someone cry a river and I'd have to clean up the watery mess afterwards.

Ohkay, I don't think I'm making any sense.....




finally someone tends to do the same thing i do (LOL)....
maybe it's easier for us to say what other people want to hear?
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Posted 8/26/10

shai_47 wrote:


Phyzjob wrote:

I think the best thing to do is to hurt someone with the truth.
But on MY part, I'd rather throw back lies and save people's feelings. .–.
I always find it hard to tell the truth when I know it would make that
someone cry a river and I'd have to clean up the watery mess afterwards.

Ohkay, I don't think I'm making any sense.....




finally someone tends to do the same thing i do (LOL)....
maybe it's easier for us to say what other people want to hear?


Hmmm yeah. ;P
Cowardice is what makes us hate ourselves,
but it wouldn't be easy.
Really depends on the circumstances though.
Posted 8/26/10

Phyzjob wrote:


shai_47 wrote:


Phyzjob wrote:

I think the best thing to do is to hurt someone with the truth.
But on MY part, I'd rather throw back lies and save people's feelings. .–.
I always find it hard to tell the truth when I know it would make that
someone cry a river and I'd have to clean up the watery mess afterwards.

Ohkay, I don't think I'm making any sense.....




finally someone tends to do the same thing i do (LOL)....
maybe it's easier for us to say what other people want to hear?


Hmmm yeah. ;P
Cowardice is what makes us hate ourselves,
but it wouldn't be easy.
Really depends on the circumstances though.


Haha..true! I can't help but wish that I could be more of a person that's more likely to say whats on my mind. However, too damn bad I wasn't born to promote truth. I was born to promote ego.

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Posted 8/26/10


I don't think it's the ego's fault.
In my case, I tell lies because I don't want to hurt others,
not because of pride.

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Posted 8/26/10

sophiexfreax wrote:
, because once you lie things get messy and problems occur



Thats right. Well, I believe thats right. It would be my choice as well. However, some situations it would be more proper to sense and avoid in advance. Or, use a (small) lie if you have no choice. Sometimes telling the truth means asking for trouble as well.

AJ
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