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What's more important - bonds of time or blood?
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24 / F
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Posted 9/15/10
What's more important - bonds of time or blood?

The question says it all. What, in your opinion, is more important - being related to someone, or having spent a lot of time with someone? Do you hold people who are related you higher than people who aren't?

The reason I'm asking this is because lately, people have been telling my family I look adopted, and it's true - I've really noticed a big difference between me and them. What do you think?
Posted 9/15/10
What, in your opinion, is more important - being related to someone, or having spent a lot of time with someone?
I wanna say both, but I think spending time with your family is a bit more important. Spending more time with your family can help you connect & bond, plus learn about each other.

Do you hold people who are related to you higher than people who aren't?
Nope, never even thought about that. I do feel better around friends though versus my family for personal reasons.
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26 / M / NorCal
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Posted 9/15/10
Blood doesn't equate to family! That pretty sums up my view.
Posted 9/15/10
Bonds of time can be much stronger. Besides you can always change it by doing a "Blood Brother/Sister ritual"
Posted 9/15/10 , edited 9/15/10
For me, it's bonds of time. And it's all in the way you treat me. I don't love someone just because they're related to me. My aunt's a total bitch and I only say I love her to appease those around me.

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69 / M / Limbo
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Posted 9/15/10
Outside of mu immediate family, I guess bond of time. Although, 30 bucks might change my mind...


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Posted 9/15/10
Bonds of time for sure. Like someone said above, being related doesn't always make them family. I'm related to a whole shitload of people and I don't even know some of their names. We barely talk to each other, and it's awkward when we do talk. Do I consider them family? Not at all. More like strangers who we have to see once every 2 years.
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28 / M / Colorado, USA
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Posted 9/15/10 , edited 9/15/10
Well, with the options of time or blood, my answer is time. But more significant than either is the nature of the relationship. The wellbeing of someone I have a good relationship with is more important to me than someone more distant. Relationship is more associated with time, but crosses the boundaries of both options. If my parents had terrible behavior and were otherwise insignificant to me, I'd pay no attention to the fact I'm related by blood to them (but that isn't the case). It is also possible to spend a lot of time with a person yet not have a good relationship with them, due to it being circumstances that have kept you together.

So it is the people you have strongest relationships with that you should care about the most.


And about your situation, even if you're adopted, so what? Who has put a lot of effort into raising you from a child? The parents before you, or the parents that birthed you? (if adopted, that is) Clearly the ones in front of you have love for you if they would raise you for many years. I personally could not spend that much money and effort on another person, sacrificing my own luxuries.
Posted 9/15/10

Kippu wrote:

Bonds of time for sure. Like someone said above, being related doesn't always make them family. I'm related to a whole shitload of people and I don't even know some of their names. We barely talk to each other, and it's awkward when we do talk. Do I consider them family? Not at all. More like strangers who we have to see once every 2 years.


agreed, i mean i go visit them but they never really talk to me.. in my 12 years of knowing my moms side of the family i dont remember me ever feeling anything for them maybe only 1 cousin but anyway i consider people who i ahave a history with as a family than them.....its liek my moms says "theyre family" i alway go "really?"
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22 / F / LA
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Posted 9/15/10
Bonds of time, without a doubt. You're closer to people you really know. Those people would be closer to family than the actual relatives you don't know a lot about.
Posted 9/15/10
Bonds of time without a doubt. Just because someone is related to u by blood doesn't mean u view them as family. My older sister is adopted and she's treated the same as anyone else in my family even though she looks nothing like the people in my family.
Posted 9/15/10 , edited 9/15/10
Blood runs through the cracks like so much waste. Time is more important.
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17 / M / boys locker room
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Posted 9/15/10
Time is more important. I don't know most of my family, but the foster kids and roommates will always be my real aunts and uncles.
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32 / M / Wisconsin
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Posted 9/16/10
Bonds of time.
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F / Youtube!
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Posted 9/16/10
I say time... Like everyone else here hahaha
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