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is it true that if you're looking for a relationship it doesn't come true, but if you're not looking, it happens?
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24 / F
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Posted 9/25/10

sizar wrote:

You should just chill out and someone will eventually notice your awesomeness
I'm saying this with my long experience of 0 relationships...


LMAO.
Posted 9/25/10

Mizzxvii wrote:


Northerner wrote:


Mizzxvii wrote:


Northerner wrote:


Mizzxvii wrote:


Northerner wrote:

It has been said that your true love will come and find YOU. So, just sit back and relax.


This doesn't make sense. If we all just sat back and relax, who's gonna do the work of searching? o_o


Take a casual approach to things. Don't rush.


That didn't answer my question


Don't be too aggressive.


Still didn't answer my question


Sigh. Nevermind.
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20 / F / Uzzlang Land
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Posted 9/25/10
I think if you say you're looking you look obsessive..
but if you quietly search nobody will notice (:
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26 / F / Anywhere I Wanna Be
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Posted 9/25/10

ikyung wrote:

The reason this is true to some extent is that when you are LOOKING for someone you tend to seem desperate at times. When you are not looking for someone you give off that vibe that attracts people around you.


I think this is so true. Guys seem to be more interested in the girls that dont pay them much attention especially the good looking ones. So when ur in a relationship and dont look twice at them, they wanna know why and they wanna make u change ur mind =)
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Posted 9/25/10
I've never been interested, and yet nothing's happened. :/ but i suppose i'm sort of waiting for a decent guy to come along >:/ they're kind of hard to find where i live
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26 / M / California
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Posted 9/25/10
I think it just seems true sometimes because when you're not looking you just happen to stumble upon a relationship. I think as long as you're open to having a relationship it will happen.
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22 / F / 不思議の国
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Posted 9/26/10
it depends i guess.
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22 / F / Singapore
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Posted 9/26/10
wait for the cupid's arrow
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F / In another world....
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Posted 9/26/10
not sure but i guess its true ^_^
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31 / F / Kumamoto, Japan
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Posted 9/26/10

raisadette21 wrote:

i was just wondering if it applies to everyone.



Northerner wrote:

It has been said that your true love will come and find YOU. So, just sit back and relax.


I don't think that the saying is as true as people make it out to be. I honestly believe that if you aren't keeping an open mind to a relationship or at least on the lookout to potentially meet someone worthwhile that you might not meet anyone at all. I know in my case I wasn't looking for a relationship but my current boyfriend approached me, meaning he was the one looking for a relationship.

In the end one of the two people has to be looking for a relationship. Rare occasions where you just sort of meet someone randomly, fall into like/love and go from there happen, but usually one out of the two people involved in the relationship has to be the person to make the first move and reach out to meed someone.

For example, in my case:

    ◎ I wasn't looking for a relationship. (NOT LOOKING)
    1. I do nothing. He finds me.

    ◎ Nick was looking for a relationship. (LOOKING)
    1. He makes first contact with me
    2. He pursues me.


So in this situation at least one of the parties involved needs to be looking for a relationship. I didn't have to be looking so in my case the stereotype of "If you're looking for a relationship you won't find it. If you aren't looking it will find you." fits me completely since I was not looking and a relationship found me and I decided to give it a chance. As for Nick, it doesn't fit him as he was looking for someone to spend time romantically with and he found me.

However, I am sure there are situations where two people come together and have no interest in a relationship what-so-ever, but they decide to give it a chance because they randomly met and got along really well; or perhaps they were friends for a long time and decided to give a relationship a chance between them due to how well they got along, the interests they shared and the attraction they felt toward one another.

With that said, my boyfriend and I have been together for 6 years and are planning marriage. Looking for love, as long as you aren't creepy about it, isn't such a bad strategy. Especially if you assume that your future significant other will be following your same strategy if you plan to "sit back and let love find you." Your chances for finding love will decrease if both parties take the same strategy.
Posted 9/26/10


Yes, there is no point in being completely indolent. If you want something, the most logical thing to do is pursue it. Though some things might happen by what seems to be a mistake, we can't count on that.
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31 / F / Kumamoto, Japan
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Posted 9/26/10

Northerner wrote:



Though some things might happen by what seems to be a mistake, we can't count on that.


I could have sworn I said that as well. Lemme check...

Oh yeah! I did! :)


However, I am sure there are situations where two people come together and have no interest in a relationship what-so-ever, but they decide to give it a chance because they randomly met and got along really well; or perhaps they were friends for a long time and decided to give a relationship a chance between them due to how well they got along, the interests they shared and the attraction they felt toward one another.
Posted 9/26/10 , edited 9/26/10

Kerensa wrote:


Northerner wrote:



Though some things might happen by what seems to be a mistake, we can't count on that.


I could have sworn I said that as well. Lemme check...

Oh yeah! I did! :)


However, I am sure there are situations where two people come together and have no interest in a relationship what-so-ever, but they decide to give it a chance because they randomly met and got along really well; or perhaps they were friends for a long time and decided to give a relationship a chance between them due to how well they got along, the interests they shared and the attraction they felt toward one another.


You said that in somewhat of a vague matter. You are, as I can already tell, ''proving'' how stupid I am.
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31 / F / Kumamoto, Japan
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Posted 9/26/10 , edited 9/26/10



First off, I'm not trying to fight with you. Second off, this has nothing to do with your intelligence. As for being vague... What? Seriously? I was very concrete in descriptions and examples. Perhaps instead of vague you mean "wordy"? Sure, I could have said all that I said above in a short sentence, but at the same time I feel the shorter the sentence the more gaps and holes there are. By explaining myself, and allowing myself to ramble while explaining what I mean, I feel that I fill more gapes and holes to create a sound argument or explanation.
Posted 9/26/10 , edited 9/26/10

Kerensa wrote:




First off, I'm not trying to fight with you. Second off, this has nothing to do with your intelligence. As for being vague... What? Seriously? I was very concrete in descriptions and examples. Perhaps instead of vague you mean "wordy"? Sure, I could have said all that I said above in a short sentence, but at the same time I feel the shorter the sentence the more gaps and holes there are. By explaining myself, and allowing myself to ramble while explaining what I mean, I feel that I fill more gapes and holes to create a sound argument or explanation.


That could be, and I feel as though you've explained this to me in the most profound, lucid, and explicit detail possible. Yet, I can't help feeling that maybe I missed something. There is by some off chance the possibility that my synapses just couldn't process the unfathomable complexity of your explanation. This surely means I cannot comprehend the complexities of what learned individuals have to relate to me about relating to other human beings, let alone the insurmountable complications of love.

I struggle to grasp this subject further than the most rudimentary idea of it. My head is beginning to feel a sharp ache...
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