Fanfic- Highschool for Idiots (UPDATED TO CHAPTER 2)
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Posted 1/9/08 , edited 1/15/08
Sorry I deleted the author's notes
Here goes...


Summary: Naruto is just an ordinary teen going to an average high school... right? WRONG! Naruto is a freshmen who finds himself in the strangest school. A school with thick eyebrowed gym teachers, perverted unemployed janitors, and a story behind the whole thing. School had never been so fun. Main: NaruHina Others: SasuSaku, ShikaIno, NejiTen.

Chapter 1 Hello, we're the losers!

Naruto's POV
Okay, is it just me, or is this neighborhood wacky? The old lady across the street is cutting her lawn... with hedgeclippers. There's a man who's married to a man but is going out with his sister next door, and two blocks down, I think this old guy is checking me out. Okay, I know it's not just me. Don't get me wrong, this new orphanage is awesome, it's the neighborhood I'm scared of. What kind of High School was I going to end up at? What if the kids were freaky there too? No, they have to be normal, right?

Normal POV
Naruto never realized how wrong he was until he got to the actual school. The morning was actually pretty normal, until he got to his locker. He was putting his stuff in his locker, and got his stuff for his first and second hour classes. His locker were those small, half sized lockers. He had his stuff and shut the door, when he noticed that the hallways were dead silent. He looked down the hallway and saw a small group of older classmates walking down. He looked down the other side of the hallway, there was another group of kids walking down as well.
"What's going on?" Whispered Naruto, to another kid. The kid looked at him confused. It was when Naruto saw his face he got freaked out. First of all, the kids eyes were WIDE and CIRCULAR. Second of all, he had thick eyelashes. Finally, he had GIANT FUZZY EYEBROWS.
Naruto's non-fuzzy eyebrow twitched.
"You must be new here..." Whispered the freak. He got very close to his face. Naruto fought the urge to run away. "Run..." He whispered.
"What?" Naruto asked.
"Run..." He whispered more firmly. Suddenly, a loud slam was heard, Naruto and the boy looked to see and saw a guy get thrown against a locker. The halls were silent, but then screaming was heard. Everyone was running all over the place. The boy grabbed Naruto and pulled him behind a trashcan. Another boy was thrown over their heads. The boy grunted as he hit the ground.
"Ugh..." He muttered.
"Hey Shikamaru!" Said the freak, the boy, Shikamaru, looked up.
"Oh hey Lee and... friend..." Said Shikamaru, turning his head to Naruto.
"This is..." Lee started, he then looked at Naruto.
"Oh, I'm Naruto. I'm sorta... new..." Said Naruto.
"Oh... Hello, we're the losers... Have you seen Chouji?" Said Shikamaru, getting behind the trashcan. Lee shook his head no.
"Does this always happen?" Asked Naruto.
"Basically, when the halls get silent, it's an omen..." Said Lee.
"So it does happen alot?" Asked Naruto.
"Damnit Chouji..." Naruto could hear Shikamaru mutter.
"Doesn't anybody get in trouble for this?" Asked Naruto.
"The principal's constently drunk, she doesn't know what to do, and the school can't afford students getting expelled, so we have to get used to it..." Said Lee, leaning against the trashcan, suddenly, the trashcan was pulled away and Shikamaru, Naruto, and Lee fell backwards onto their backs.
An older high schooler was looking at them, smirking. Lee quickly got up and was about to run away but someone else grabbed him. Naruto couldn't tell what else happened because he and Shikamaru got slammed into the lockers. One of the guys even tried stuffing Naruto into the half sized locker.
"DUDE! I'M TWICE THE SIZE OF THIS LOCKER! I AIN'T GONNA FIT!" Naruto shouted.
"Oh, we'll see about that." Said the older high schooler.
"LET ME OUT OF HERE!" Shouted Shikamaru's muffled voice from a full sized locker. Suddenly, Naruto and the guy who was attempting to shove him in a locker was sent backwards onto the floor when a guy in a black hoodie got thrown into them.
"GET OFF ME!" Screamed Naruto. The boy with the black hoodie already got up.
"AKAMARU!" The boy shouted. Naruto looked where the boy was staring at and found a guy looking curiously at a dog.
Dogs are allowed here too? He wondered.
"GIVE ME BACK MY DOG YOU ASSHOLE!" The boy shouted.
"That's your dog?" Asked Naruto.
"Yeah? So? What's it to ya?" He asked.
"You're allowed to bring dogs to school?" Said Naruto.
"Er... my friend's blind..." Said the boy, but Naruto could tell he was lying.
"Huh? WHAT ARE YOU DO... AKAMARU!" Screamed the boy as the dog was dropped in the trashcan, the boy was about to grab his dog out but someone stumbled into him. Naruto walked over to the trashcan and pulled the dog out.
"WHAT'S GOING ON IN HERE?" Shouted a voice. Everyone stopped and Naruto turned around and saw a woman (A teacher Naruto assumed) with black hair and crimson eyes. "I want every single one of you in your classrooms right now!" Shrieked the woman. Everyone mumbled before leaving. Naruto looked around searching for the dog owner but he couldn't find him. He was being pushed in the crowd so Naruto had no choice but to go. A few moments he free from the crowd, he then heard noises coming from a closet.
"Is anybody out there? Can you hear me?" Said the voice from the closet. Naruto opened the closet and backed up when a girl clumsily fell on the floor. Naruto bent down.
"Hey, you okay?" He asked. The girl looked up, embarassed.
Okay, it's official, everyone in this damn city are freaks... Thought Naruto, looking at the girl's silver eyes.
"Uh... O-Oh... H-Hi, T-Thanks for the h-help... A-Akamaru?" The girl said suddenly, taking the dog.
"Oh, you know the owner?" Said Naruto.
"U-Uhm... Y-yes... h-he b-belongs t-to a f-friend of m-mine..." Stuttered the girl, blushing. This boy was sorta cute...
"Oh, that's good, I didn't want to carry him around all day..." Said Naruto chuckling slightly. "Oh! Uhm... do you know where room 209 is?"
"R-Room 209? I-It's right down this hallway, it's at the very end..." Said the girl.
"Oh thanks!" Said Naruto smiling, he then left.
"Y-You're welcome..." She said quietly. She then looked at the clock and gasped. She was late!
Lockers-
"Hello? Is anybody going to get me out of here? Hello! Where is everyone!" Shouted Shikamaru's voice from the locker.
End of Chapter

to be continued....
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Posted 1/15/08
Chapter 2- He's Uchiha Itachi!

Naruto survived the first three classes. He learned a few things. The black haired woman with crimson eyes was actually the biology teacher, they called her Kurenai. He also learned that Kurenai was incredibly strict and wasn't afraid to punish you. The second teacher, who was the English teacher, Genma, was pretty cool, ya know, until he yells, but otherwise, he was cool. The third teacher, Iruka, was the Math teacher and was pretty nice but he could yell pretty bad too. Basically, all the teachers could yell, and yell loud.
Naruto walked to his fourth hour class and saw everyone running around and socializing. One guy even had another guy in a headlock.
This school just gets weirder by the minute... Thought Naruto as a paper airplane flew by. Where was the... oh, there he was. The teacher was sitting on a stool and seemed to be very interested in a small book. Naruto couldn't find the title because a cover was over it. The teacher himself was a little strange. He wore a bored expression and had silver hair. Strangely enough, he had a mask on covering the lower part of his face and had a headband covering one of his eyes.
"Er... is I in the right class?" Asked Naruto, going up to the teacher.
"Huh? Oh yeah..." Said the teacher, but he was far too interested in his book that he didn't even look at Naruto. "Social Studies..."
I can see that... Thought Naruto, as he noticed a group of girls giggling and whatnot. He went to take a seat and started leaning his chair back on its hind legs. He looked at the board and saw 'Kakashi' written on the board.
That must be the teacher... Thought Naruto.
"You have a quiz on Tuesday; make sure you read the chapter..." Said Kakashi, peeking over his book. He then chuckled softly and blushed.
"Hey Naruto." Said a voice, Naruto turned and saw Shikamaru. (HE LIVES!)
"Oh, hey..." Said Naruto, he forgot the guy's name. "Er... Mikamaru?"
"...It's Shikamaru..."
"O-Oh... hehe... yeah..." Said Naruto, grinning at his mistake.
"Oh hey, I remember you!" Said a voice. Naruto saw the boy in the black hoodie walking up to him and Shikamaru. Shikamaru looked at Naruto and then glanced at the boy.
"You met Kiba?" Shikamaru said.
"Who?" Naruto wondered.
"I'm Kiba; Hinata said you found my dog." Said the boy, introducing himself.
"Oh yeah... Hinata was that girl in the closet right?" Said Naruto, remembering.
"Closet? Was she in the janitor's closet?" Asked Kiba quickly.
"No... I don't think-"
"Good..." Kiba and Shikamaru said in unison.
"Why? What's wrong with the janitor's closet?" Asked Naruto.
"The janitor's a pervert. Actually, he's not really the janitor, well, he was never hired anyways, and we call him the Perverted Wiseman because he's really old..." Said Shikamaru.
"If he doesn't get paid, then why does he clean here?" Asked Naruto.
"Does Janitor and Girl's Locker Room mean anything to you? He doesn't clean the school, just the girl's locker room. He also says he gets inspiration for his perverted novels, since there's a swimming pool with girl in swimsuits and the girls can wear skirts since the weather's nice around here. We suspect Kakashi Sensei of reading the novels..." Said Kiba. As soon as he finished his sentence, Naruto saw Kakashi blush and chuckle.
"Weird..." Said Naruto.
"Hmm... I should probably go talk to Shino..." Kiba said suddenly.
"Why bother? He never talks back, I never even heard the guy sneeze." Said Shikamaru. "And during Oral Reports, he still doesn't talk, he uses cards."
Naruto has a confused expression on his face. Shikamaru sighed.
"We'll introduce you to him..." Said Shikamaru. The three walked over to a boy with sunglasses and a high collared coat on. (Which was strange to Naruto since it was really nice out) Next to him was Akamaru.
Er... my friend's blind... Naruto remembered Kiba say. Was this guy really blind?
"Hey Shino!"
"..."
And mute?
"What up?"
"..."
Maybe deaf?
"This is Naruto!" Kiba said. Naruto waved at him.
"Hey!"
"..."
"Shino's into bugs. He has an ant farm and a tarantula and everything! Tell him all about it Shino!" Said Kiba.
"..."
That was a nice conversation...
"See?" Whispered Shikamaru to Naruto.
"Can you speak?" Asked Naruto.
Stare.
Nod.
"Then why don't you speak?"
Stare.
Long Silence.
"...Er...forget it..." Said Naruto. "Alright, is there anything else I need to know about this weird school?" The three guys looked at each other and then turned to Naruto.
"Okay, you know in those movies where there are the popular kids, the losers, the geeks, the nerds and etc.?" Asked Kiba. (There is no such thing in High School, sometimes in middle school though...)
"Yeah." Answered Naruto.
"Well... it's sorta the same, not much but..." Said Shikamaru.
"What category are we in?" Asked Naruto. Shikamaru and Kiba looked at each other before answering.
"The losers..." They answered in unison.
"Bark!" Barked Akamaru. (T: Hey! I'm not a loser! You guys are!)
"The losers are the guys who have no special talents whatsoever and when they do have special talents they're never noticed..." Said Shikamaru, stifling a yawn.
"..." (T: Nobody notices me...)
"Eh? Did you say something Shino?" Asked Kiba. Naruto gave Shikamaru a look. Shikamaru mouthed the words 'Don't say a word'.
"..." (T: Except him, but he doesn't count...)
"Normally, we would be normies, those normal people, but they live normal lives and get noticed by normal people but we're not noticed at all so we're not normal normies..." Said Kiba quickly.
"Bark?" (T: Say what?)
"Oh calm down Akamaru." Said Kiba, giving his dog a look.
"Whine..." Whimpered Akamaru. (T: Sheesh...)
"I'm not a loser and I refuse to become one!" Said Naruto.
"But you are a loser, ask any girl to go out with you and she'll be like (Activate Valley Girl voice) And Uhm, like, who are you again?" Said Shikamaru.
"..." (T: That was freaky...)
"Shino, you should really speak up..." Said Kiba.
"..." (T: I don't care because I don't talk...)
"I doubt it..." Said Naruto. Kiba and Shikamaru gave each other a look. Naruto sighed. "I'll prove it..."
Naruto walked up to one of the girls.
"Hi, I'm Naruto; can I have your phone number?"
"And Uhm, like, who are you again?" Said the girl. Naruto sweatdropped.
"I'm a loser, just a loser..."
Lunch-
"Chouji! You're alive!" Said Shikamaru with very slight shock in his voice. That was the most enthusiastic he sounded all day in Naruto's opinion.
"Yeah..." Said a rather large boy. Naruto was shocked to see how big he was. He sat down between Kiba and Shikamaru and Chouji was across the table. Kiba was looking around.
"Hmm... where's Shino... huh? Hey Hinata!" Kiba suddenly shouted. Shikamaru was so alarmed Naruto was surprised he didn't fall of the bench. Naruto looked at the direction Kiba was looking at and saw Hinata wave very shyly. Next to her though, was an extremely pretty girl. She had green eyes and (strange) pink hair. Next to the girl was a blonde haired girl with not one, but FOUR ponytails.
Of course, Naruto had eyes for the pink haired girl. Unfortunately for Hinata, she thought Naruto was staring at her instead of the girl next to her. Hinata blushed. Unfortunately again, Kiba thought Hinata blushed because he waved at her.
I kind of like that one girl... Thought Naruto.
I wonder if that boy likes me... Thought Hinata.
Huh? When did Hinata start liking me? Wondered Kiba. (Note: This is just humor; there is no KibaHinaNaru love triangle)
"Come on Hinata!" Said the girl with pink hair.
"O-Okay Sakura..." Said the dark haired girl quietly.
"Ino better have saved our spots..." Said the blond girl.
"Don't worry Temari, if she didn't, I'll beat her to a bloody pulp!" Said Sakura, cracking her knuckles. The three then walked off.
"Hey!" Said a voice. Naruto and Kiba snapped out of their thoughts long enough to turn around. Lee was trotting over.
"What up Lee?" Asked Chouji. Chouji nearly fell off the bench when Lee actually looked up.
"You'll never believe what I just heard!" Exclaimed Lee.
"What?" Everyone asked.
"Hyuuga Neji might lose his top spot on the basketball team!" Exclaimed Lee. Chouji dropped his sandwhich, Shikamaru spat out his water all over Chouji's face, Kiba looked like it was lies, and Naruto... was confused.
"Who's Hyuuga Neji?" Asked Naruto. Everyone looked at Naruto as if he was a giant zit just waiting to be popped. Lee hesitated before answering.
"He's... He's... a Hyuuga!" Exclaimed Lee.
"He's the Genius of Geniuses!" Said Kiba, as if Naruto were the dumbest person alive.
"The Hyuuga Prodigy..." Said Shikamaru.
"Are... the Hyuugas some sort of show off family or something?" Asked Naruto. Kiba shot him a deadly glare.
"What's your problem?" Asked Naruto.
"Hinata's a Hyuuga..." Said Kiba, continuing his glare.
"Not much of one though..." Said Shikamaru truthfully, Kiba turned to glare at him, hoping to burn his feather duster hair into flames. "It's the truth Kiba; the whole damn school knows it..."
"The Hyuugas are sorta perfect to put it simple..." Said Shikamaru, turning to Naruto.
"I still think Shikamaru is smarter then all of them..." Said Chouji.
"Hinata's sorta the outcast of the family..." Said Kiba sadly.
"Oh stop obsessing over your girlfriend!" Said Chouji.
"She's not my-"
"So... this Hyuuga Neji is basically the best of the best?" Asked Naruto interrupting Kiba.
"Straight A's ever since he was four..." Said Lee, whispering for some unknown reason.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa... we're talking about... Hyuuga Neji, the angsty badass of the Hyuugas. Who could beat him?" Asked Kiba.
"They're saying it's Uchiha Sasuke..." Whispered Lee.
"It's always a badass..." Scoffed Kiba.
"Aw man... who's that?" Asked Naruto, upset that he didn't know who anyone was. Again, everyone stared at Naruto as if he just fallen out of the sky.
"He's an Uchiha!" Exclaimed Lee.
"The Brother of the Great Uchiha Itachi!" Said Chouji.
"The man admired by troublesome fan girls everywhere!" Said Shikamaru.
"...Who's Itachi?" Asked Naruto. The guys were now staring at him as if he was a mold growing on their meatloaf.
"THE UCHIHA PRODIGY!" Shrieked Lee.
"THE KING OF EVERYTHING!" Exclaimed Chouji.
"THE BADASS OF BADASSES!" Shouted Kiba.
"THE MAN OF MEN!" Screamed Shikamaru.
"HE'S UCHIHA ITACHI!" The four whispered firmly.
"..." Said Shino, walking by.
"Shino, guess what? Naruto doesn't know who Uchiha Itachi is!" Said Kiba.
"...!" Shino was so shocked he raised an eyebrow.
"I know!" Said Kiba.
"Hey, I'm new here; don't get pissed at me..." Said Naruto.
"Look, Naruto, there are cool kids, there are badasses, there are popular kids, and there are hot kids but Itachi... he's just makes his own category..." Said Shikamaru.
"There's no word to describe him, he's just... Uchiha Itachi..." The Guys whispered, but Naruto was still confused. The boys continued talking, not noticing that Shino left.
End of Chapter

to be continued...
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