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Post Reply “Kristia: the great hero of independence”
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Posted 12/5/10 , edited 12/6/10
“Kristia: the great hero of independence”

Characters:
Kristia



Angelo



Almira



In a small land far to the east, there lives a very beautiful sorceress named Almira. Wherever she goes, people greet her and commend her beauty. Praise showers her not only in her domain, but even from various places. In her small palace, she has a magic mirror that she always asks whenever she’s in her boudoir, “Mirror, mirror on the wall. Who is the fairest of them all?” to which the mirror always and sycophantically replies, “You are, great sorceress Almira.”

But one day, all that is to change. A young female paladin by the name of Kristia returns from a great battle against an undead horde. As always, Almira never fails to ask the magic mirror, “Mirror, mirror on the wall. Who is the fairest of them all?” But today, the mirror replied, “Most powerful sorceress Almira, it is true that you are beautiful. But, a young paladin named Kristia is more beautiful than you.” Enraged, she asks for an assassin to kill Kristia, “You assassin, eliminate Kristia! Make sure that the murder will look like an accident!” The assassin departs; but when she finally sees Kristia, she doesn’t do what her benefactor asks of her to do. Instead, she approaches Kristia, “Are you that paladin that returned from that great battle against the undead horde to the north, Kristia?” To which Kristia replies calmly, “Yes, I am.” Struck by Kristia’s honesty, she tells Kristia about the sorceress’ plan, “Kristia, the sorceress of this land, Almira, had sent me to kill you. You shall get out of here and hide somewhere else, and I’ll trick her.” Kristia was shocked upon hearing this, but trusted the assassin anyway. The assassin makes a dummy and fills it with a boar she had just killed before she meets Kristia. She then presents the “corpse” to Almira, to which the latter is pleased.

Kristia fled to a village in the mountains to the north, just near to the capital, where she meets a fellow paladin. She approached the fellow paladin and instantly recognizes him, “Angelo, is that you? It’s been so long!” Angelo sees Kristia after 3 years and instantly gives her a hug. He then asks, “How have you been doing my friend? I had heard that you had defeated an undead horde?” Kristia tells him, “I am not doing so well lately. Apparently, Almira is after me. And yes, I had defeated an undead horde.” Angelo curiously asks, “How so? Knowing you, you haven’t done anything to piss her off. But, for Almira to do something like that is a bit new for her, given the fact that she’s been doing some stupid stuff lately.” Kristia replies, “Well, she sent an assassin to kill me earlier. But, the assassin didn’t go for her plan. Now, even I have no idea as to why
Almira had sent someone to kill me. By the way, what has Almira been doing while I was gone? You told me earlier that she did some stupid stuff lately?” Angelo narrates, “Now, Almira had been busily getting herself more into politics. She and some politicians have been stealing money from the people. Her weapon is her beauty and the fame that goes with it. Within 2 months, she became the leader of our homeland. She had been busy promoting herself at the expense of the people. This village where we are was once a poor mining outpost until a few priests, monks and nuns came in and built schools, hospitals, a couple of orphanages, a printing press and a soup kitchen a month ago. At any rate, it is better for our homeland that is to be deposed.” Kristia was shocked to hear what Angelo told her. She then asks him, “How about you, what have you been doing?” Angelo calmly replies, “A lot has happened. This village has been invaded by bandits quite a lot of times, but they have been defeated every time. It wasn’t easy defeating them, but thanks to God, the bandits have disbanded.” As they walk around the village, Kristia notices that she can hide there for the time being while formulating a plan to free the homeland from Almira’s clutches.

Meanwhile, Almira asks her mirror once more, “Mirror, mirror on the wall. Who is the fairest of them all?” The mirror replied, “You my great sorceress has great beauty, but Kristia is still more beautiful than you.” Shocked, Almira asked the mirror, “How come? I thought I had sent an assassin to kill that wretched bitch.” The mirror calmly replies, “Well, your plan has failed. She’s alive in the mountains and she’s with a fellow paladin.” Almira is clearly irritated upon hearing the news. She then calls in for her loyal minion by the name of Mike, “Mike! I have a job for you!” Mike shows up and asks Almira, “What is it, great Almira?” Almira tells Mike, “I want you to deliver the Amulet of Extreme Disfigurement to a young paladin by the name of Kristia. I want her to look very ugly. She is found in the mountains. Whosoever wears the Amulet of Extreme Disfigurement will look hideous” Almira then gets the amulet from a special chest in her boudoir and gives it to Mike. She tells him, “Send it to her now!” With that, Mike rides off into the mountains, looking for Kristia.

Upon arrival, Mike approaches Kristia, “Hail to you, champion! I am Mike, and I have come to award you an amulet for your heroism.” Kristia was shocked and looked at Mike, “Really now?” Angelo was just as intrigued as Kristia upon hearing the news, “Hmm, let me see the amulet.” With that, Mike gives Angelo the amulet. Wanting to see if the amulet is a real one, he studies it quite closely and decides to shine it. The amulet mysteriously explodes without an explanation. Mike was shocked in telling them this, “Sorry for the inconvenience.” He then flees the mountains on horseback, disappointed. As for Kristia, she asks Angelo, “What was that? It is strange for amulets to explode like that.” Angelo tells Kristia, “I am as perplexed as you are. He is a nice man, but awarding that amulet is a bit weird.” They then went to Angelo’s house. He then tells her, “Welcome to my humble abode. It is quite small, but make yourself at home here.” Kristia tells Angelo, “Thank you.” With that, Angelo and Kristia go up the stairs, with Angelo telling her, “You can sleep in my room.” Kristia was surprised and asks, “How about you?” Angelo tells her, smiling, “I have an extra cushion for me to sleep in. Since you are my guest, it is imperative that you sleep in my bed.” Kristia agrees, “Okay.”

Back at the palace, Almira asks her mirror again, “Mirror, mirror on the wall. Who is the fairest of them all?” The mirror replied, “You my great sorceress has great beauty, but Kristia is still more beautiful than you.” Almira then summons Mike to her boudoir again, “Mike! What just happened? I thought you had delivered the Amulet of Extreme Disfigurement to her.” Mike shyly replies, “Well, her friend interfered. Due to his interference, the amulet mysteriously exploded.” Almira was getting very angry, until she has another idea. She asks Mike, “Oh Mike, I have another errand for you. I want you to deliver this dress to Kristia.” She then pulls out a black dress studded with rubies. Mike was surprised and asks Almira, “I’m giving her that dress? What does it do?” Almira scolds Mike, “You imbecile. That is a specially cursed dress. Whoever wears it will become ugly within an hour. The victim must wear this dress for one hour, and then the curse becomes permanent. Deliver the dress to her, and make no mistake. If you need to get rid of that interloper, then do it. I want to see Kristia become really ugly this time. Now, go forth!” With that, Mike disguises himself as a fashion designer and wraps the cursed dress. He then rides off to the mountains.

Upon arrival, he asks the local villagers, “Has anyone seen Kristia? I have a dress for her.” One of local farmers tells Mike, “She’s staying in Angelo’s house.” Mike thanks the farmer, “Oh, thank you.” Mike then dismounts and knocks on the door of Angelo’s house. With that, both Angelo and Kristia go downstairs. Kristia answers the door, “Who’s there?” Mike replies, “I am a fashion designer from the capital. May I speak to Kristia?” Kristia then opens the door and lets Mike in, “Go inside.” Mike, Angelo and Kristia then went to the living room and then, Angelo asks Mike, “So, you’re a fashion designer from the capital?” Mike replies, Yes, I am.” Kristia asks Mike, “Why are you here?” Mike answers nicely, “Well, I am a fashion designer and I have a special dress just for you.” Mike then takes out the dress and shows it off, “This is a fine dress made for Kristia. As you can see, this dress is made from silk and the rubies came from the western lands.” Kristia asks Mike, can I try it on?” Mike reluctantly replies, “Sure.” As Kristia is going to her and Angelo’s room, Mike yells, “Don’t wear this dress!” Angelo asks, “Why? I heard you say earlier that the dress is for Kristia?” Mike confesses, “I am Mike
from our earlier encounter with the amulet. I have a confession to make.” Kristia then returns to the living room carrying the black dress. Mike continues, “I am sent here by Almira in order to make you very ugly. You see, Almira has a magic mirror to which she asks if she’s the fairest of the land. Before you had arrived, she was the fairest in the land. But, after that, she became extremely jealous.” Angelo replies, “That’s why she sent an assassin to kill Kristia earlier?” Mike replies, “Yes.” Angelo asks again, “Is it also true that she is involved in a corrupt power struggle?” Mike replies, “Yes. She is involved with various nefarious characters such as Totoy’s gang. Apparently, Totoy and his gang have been extorting the masses with their great taxes. The people quietly acquiesce, lest they feel his gang’s wrath upon them.” Angelo tells Mike, “If what you’re saying is true, then I’ll rally the people. You’re coming with us.”

With that, the three leave the house and went to the village square. Angelo proclaims a message to the people in the village, “My fellow citizens, it has come to my attention that Almira’s power-grabbing scheme had impoverished not just our village, but also our homeland.” With that, Mike speaks, “Yes, what Angelo’s saying is true. Almira, her cronies and Totoy’s gang have been busy stealing our taxes and those taxes only serve to enrich themselves rather than help the people.” Kristia then tells the people, “It is time that we commit ourselves to an uprising! Now is the time that we fight for our freedom against Almira’s tyranny!” The people are shocked upon hearing a plan for a rebellion as was implied by Kristia’s earlier statement. The local clergy then decided to spread what Kristia said to the village earlier by using their printing press. Soon, messengers have been spreading the news across the homeland. Within hours, the news reaches all the towns and villages in the realm, and rebellions instantly sprung up all over. In the mountain village as in other places, the people arm themselves into small militias, ready for battle.

In the capital, the news calling the people for a revolution had just arrived. Upon hearing the news, Almira is getting angrier and angrier by the second. Totoy and his gang had just arrived to the palace with the terrible news for a putsch. Almira tells her army, “We have a crisis on our hands. We must defeat the rebel Kristia before she does anything stupid!” After that, she summons her personal bodyguard and Almira teleports herself along with her bodyguards to the mountain village where Kristia is. Meanwhile, Totoy and his gang decide to arm themselves as the entire country decides to rebel against them and Almira.

Almira and her group of bodyguards arrive at the mountain village. She first sees Mike along with Kristia angrily vents her spite, “You traitor! Why is Kristia not ugly yet?” Mike tells Almira, “Great Almira, what she has is inner beauty. All you’ve been doing is simply focus on the external. That’s also the reason why there’s a rebellion on your hands.” Almira tells the guards, “Seize Mike and kill him!” Mike flees, far from the battle. She then confronts Kristia, “You vile pig! You are my enemy. Since you just arrived, my plans to become the fairest and most powerful in the land had been thwarted. Prepare to die!” The guards are ordered by Almira, “Kill the rebels!” The guards then went forth to try and kill the rebels. The rebels decided to pray before the battle, with the local priest leading the prayer. Other priests hear the rebels’ confessions before going into battle. As Almira’s bodyguards decide to charge, a light from heaven shines down on the rebels. Angelo is bathed in a heavenly aura, whereas Kristia is empowered, both by the heavenly light shining upon them. They decided to charge at Almira’s bodyguards, inflicting massive amounts of casualties on the latter. Almira then casts fireballs from the sky, but Angelo and Kristia are able to evade the attack. Almira then attacks them with a fire bolt, but Angelo blocks it with his shield. Kristia then fires at Almira with her crossbow, hitting the latter in the left arm. Almira asks Kristia, “It’s impossible! How are your forces able to beat mine?” Angelo tells Almira, “It’s because God wills it!” Angelo then utters the battlecry, “Christus Imperat!” which means “Christ rules!” Almira flees the scene by teleportation, and her small army is dead. Angelo and Kristia then mount a couple of horses and then goes to the capital.

Meanwhile, Totoy’s position is almost overrun by the rebel offensive. Kristel, the finance minister flees to the west, where she encounters Mike. An hour later, Angelo and Kristia arrive, and they decided to attack Totoy’s gang. His gang decides to flee to the south, whereas Almira is left in the palace. Angelo and Kristia then dismounted from their steeds and fought against Almira on foot. Almira then tells Kristia, “You’re not feminine!” Kristia answers, “Why, I am a lot more feminine than you are. A strong woman is one who has virtues. All you’ve been doing is act like some moron with a large ego. Instead of helping the people, you and your cohorts steal from them!” Infuriated by Kristia’s words, Almira attacks with an ice bolt, but Angelo blocks the attacks with his shield again. Almira is getting irritated when Angelo blocked the attacked, when Kristia struck Almira with her bow again, this time injuring the latter in the leg. That time, Almira decides to flee the realm.

After that, Angelo and Kristia then deliver the news that Almira and her government has been defeated. A memorial service is given to those who died in the war, as well as to those who died under the old regime's tyranny. Political prisoners are released. A few days later, the leaders of the entire rebel groups decided to have a meeting in the capital with Angelo and Kristia. The rebel leaders decided to elect Angelo as the country’s prince. And, they lived happily ever after, with Kristia living with Angelo. As for Almira and her cohorts, they are never heard from again. Totoy’s gang has disbanded. After that incident, they had suffered the same fate as Almira.

Posted 12/5/10 , edited 12/5/10
/reads laterr (:

EDIT:
I READ ITT <3
i think your writing improved a bit O:
is the story finished already ? owo
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Posted 12/5/10 , edited 12/5/10
I will edit the story.

Edit:
Yes, I have finished it.
And yes, my style has changed a lot.
Posted 12/5/10
yay : D
btw, since this is a war type of story, right? YOU SHOULD HAVE... EVIL CHICKENS. AND THEIR RULER, KOKO THREATEN TO OVERTHROW THE WORLD WITH CHICKENS >:D...

just a simple thought.
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Posted 12/5/10 , edited 12/5/10
HMMMM.
Interesting use of the mirror line from Snow White owo

BUT...
One major *constructive*Criticism. Your hero/heroine characters are STILL too powerful, too good... you made all of the enemy die for flee like cowards, but none of the rebel army?

Rebellions are bloody on both sides. War in general is ALWAYS bloody on both sides.
Posted 12/5/10
/nods in agreement.
yeah...
a little ouchie here & there, is good, for battle scars/honor scars or whatever they are...

would you like to learn the masochist ways, Angelo?
ITS OKAY TO HURT SOMETIMES.

xD
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Posted 12/5/10
....
BAHAHAAAA XDDD
IT'S OKAY TO HURT SOMETIMES.... PFFFT XD
nice one Kokochiii XDD
Posted 12/5/10
XD THANK YOU MADAM.

but no, seriously. IF I WERE TO make a war story type of thing, with Masochists & Sadists...

then..

Welcome to Hell.
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Posted 12/5/10
Hell of LOVE ;D
The battle field would be one huge orgy owo
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Posted 12/6/10

ember1116 wrote:

HMMMM.
Interesting use of the mirror line from Snow White owo

BUT...
One major *constructive*Criticism. Your hero/heroine characters are STILL too powerful, too good... you made all of the enemy die for flee like cowards, but none of the rebel army?

Rebellions are bloody on both sides. War in general is ALWAYS bloody on both sides.

I had to do that for simple putsch value.
Thanks for the critique.
:)
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Posted 12/6/10 , edited 12/6/10
*cough cough*

Putsch? WHAT IS PUTSCH?
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Posted 12/6/10
Okay so that's Putsch.

But there would still be blood!
THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A PERFECTLY WON BATTLE. EVER. IT JUST DOESN'T WORK LIKE THAT.
It can go fast and they can lose some people, a few limbs here and there, PTSD and the works.

It's too unrealistic to learn any values from it ;__;
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Posted 12/6/10 , edited 12/6/10

ember1116 wrote:

Okay so that's Putsch.

But there would still be blood!
THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A PERFECTLY WON BATTLE. EVER. IT JUST DOESN'T WORK LIKE THAT.
It can go fast and they can lose some people, a few limbs here and there, PTSD and the works.

It's too unrealistic to learn any values from it ;__;

Okay, I had fixed it.
The reason why I used the term "putsch" than "coup" is because it is more of a challenge that way.
Posted 12/8/10
Putsch...
=w=

ANYWAY WHEN ARE YOU UPDATING WITH MASOCHISM!? D:<
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Posted 12/8/10

ay_bay_bay wrote:

Putsch...
=w=

ANYWAY WHEN ARE YOU UPDATING WITH MASOCHISM!? D:<


*is not a masochist*
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