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Post Reply “Kristia: the great hero of independence”
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Posted 12/13/10
Just started reading

I like how you borrowed the fairly tale theme with the mirror and who's the the fairest of all y'all

haven't finished yet but a word of advice, you might want to indent for each speaker

like:

As Kale was punched in the face, he cried "Agh!"

The face puncher victoriously yelled "Yeeeargh!"

"Hey! violence is against the law!" the innocent bystanders pleaded.

Kinda like that up there. makes it easier to read

just a suggestion
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Posted 12/14/10

rhyck wrote:

Just started reading

I like how you borrowed the fairly tale theme with the mirror and who's the the fairest of all y'all

haven't finished yet but a word of advice, you might want to indent for each speaker

like:

As Kale was punched in the face, he cried "Agh!"

The face puncher victoriously yelled "Yeeeargh!"

"Hey! violence is against the law!" the innocent bystanders pleaded.

Kinda like that up there. makes it easier to read

just a suggestion


Thanks Bob.
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