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**The funniest joke
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23 / M / Cali
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Posted 6/4/07
haha 10/10 ^ ban u for the nice joke
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29 / F / World
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Posted 6/4/07
Two older men are sitting on a park bench talking and one of them asks the other about his sex life. The man answers that he has an excellent sex life and is still very active.
The other man confesses that his sexual appetite has greatly diminished with old age so he asks the other man if he has any secrets for staying sexually vital.
"Well," answered the man, "I eat rye bread everyday. That is my secret. If you just eat rye bread, your sex life will improve dramatically."
The other man decides to follow this advice and finds a bakery nearby. He tells the clerk behind the counter that he wants all of the loaves of rye bread that they have in stock.
The clerk then asks the man, "do you want whole loaves or do you want us to slice them?"
The man looks puzzled and asks the clerk, "what is the difference?"
The clerk responds, "Well when it's sliced, it gets harder faster."
To which the man responded, "How come everyone knew about this but me
Posted 6/4/07
9/10

A guy was sitting in a bar and just staring at his beer wen a truck driver comes in and drinks it.....suddenly da man starts crying.....at dat moment da truck driver says "hey dont cry i'll buy u another drink".....at dat da man says "no,its not dat....i had a very bad day today i got fired from my job my wife screamed at me and threw me out of da huse and now i was bout 2 drink dat poison in da beer it wen u came and drank it up...."
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31 / M
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Posted 6/4/07
hahaaaaa 8/10


A shoplifter was caught red-handed trying to steal a watch from an exclusive jewelry store.

"Listen," said the shoplifter, "I know you don't want any trouble either. What do you say I just buy the watch and we forget about this?"

The manager agreed and wrote up the sales slip. The crook looked at the slip and said, "This is a little more than I intended to spend. Can you show me something less expensive?"
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31 / M
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Posted 6/4/07
7/10
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31 / M
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Posted 6/4/07
The Perfect Son.
A: I have the perfect son.
B: Does he smoke?
A: No, he doesn't.
B: Does he drink whiskey?
A: No, he doesn't.
B: Does he ever come home late?
A: No, he doesn't.
B: I guess you really do have the perfect son. How old is he?
A: He will be six months old next Wednesday
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31 / M
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Posted 6/4/07
Patient: Doctor, I have a pain in my eye whenever I drink tea.
Doctor: Take the spoon out of the mug before you drink.
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31 / M
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Posted 6/4/07
Patient: Doctor! You've got to help me! Nobody ever listens to me. No one ever pays any attention to what I have to say.

Doctor: Next please!
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31 / M
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Posted 6/4/07
Two goldfish in a bowl talking:
Goldfish 1: Do you believe in God?
Goldfish 2: Of course, I do! Who do you think changes the water?
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26 / M / Park ave. Mansions
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Posted 6/4/07
How about this one,

A man was drinking beer in a bar when suddenly a woman came to his side. When he was about to talk to her, she suddenly shouted " what!? you want to fuck me? ", then the woman stormed out of the bar.

Everyone was looking at the man, and the man felt ashamed and just kept quiet.
After 5 mins. , the same woman entered and said "im sorry! i am a scientist and is experimenting how human will react with embarrassing moments"

Then suddenly the man shouted: "WHAT!? 1 THOUSAND BUCKS FOR A FUCK!?
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31 / M
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Posted 6/4/07
hahaaaaa good 1
9/10
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31 / M
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Posted 6/4/07
ok take this 1:


Once there were three turtles. One day they decided to go on a picnic. When they got there, they realized they had forgotten the soda. The youngest turtle said he would go home and get it if they wouldn't eat the sandwiches until he got back. A week went by, then a month, finally a year, when the two turtles said,"oh, come on, let's eat the sandwiches." Suddenly the little turtle popped up from behind a rock and said, "If you do, I won't go!"
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26 / M / Park ave. Mansions
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Posted 6/4/07
LOL good one!

hmmm.. let me think ( brain clashing...ksskssskskskksskks)

how about this one.

there were three girls who died in an accident, luckily they got to heaven.
but heaven was unexpectedly full of small sheeps.. they tried not to step on them as they go on their road, until suddenly girl#1 stepped on a sheep. then the angel came down carrying an 82 yr old ugly man, then the angel handcuffed girl#1 and the man, and said,
"he will be your partner for eternity"

then the 2nd girl asked, why is she handcuffed to that ugly old man for eternity?
the angel answered "its punishment for stepping on sheeps"

The 2nd and the 3rd girl became very careful not to step on the sheep, but suddenly, Girl#2 stepped on one and was handcuffed on a really ugly gay for eternity.

The 3rd girl was alone... she carefully watched for the sheeps for 30 thousand man years. she was happy not to even step on a sheep even once. But 1 day, the angel came down with the handsomest man she has ever seen. and handcuffed them for eternity..

She was so happy and said "OH ANGEL! WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS GRACEFUL GIFT? IS IT BECAUSE I WAS CAREFUL?"

the angel replied " no, you didn't do anything good or bad, its just that, that man stepped on a sheep"
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Posted 6/4/07
What goes clippity clop clippity clop BANG BANG clippity clop clippity clop?

An amish drive by shooting
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31 / M
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Posted 6/5/07
9.5/10



A: Why are all those people running?
B: They are running a race to get a cup.
A: Who will get the cup?
B: The person who wins.
A: Then why are all the others running?.
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