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**The funniest joke
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23 / F
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Posted 6/23/07
9...
Today my baby girl's 18th birthday. I be so glad that this be my last child support payment! Month after month, year after year, all those payments!

So I call my baby girl, LaKeesha, to come to my house, and when she get there, I say, "Baby girl, I want you to take this check over to yo momma house and tell her this be the last check she ever be gettin' from me, and I want you to come back and tell me the 'spression on yo mama's face."

So, my baby girl take the check over to her momma. I be anxious to hear what she say, and bout the 'spression on her face. Baby girl walk through the door, I say, "Now what yo momma say 'bout that?"

She say to tell you that "you ain't my daddy" ... and watch the 'spression on yo face!"
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24 / M / in the corner of...
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Posted 6/23/07
ooh I got one
"2 kids were walking & suddenly one of them saw a dead body the other one said "is he dead?"than the other guy responded "to see if someone's dead you poke them with a stick" so then they started poking the dead body"

yeah sorry not one of my best jokes...
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F
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Posted 6/24/07
ohgosh. that's not funny at all O_o

here's mine..

how do chinese people get their last names?
they drop different sized pots out the window


(i'm chinese, and literally laughed out loud in the middle of class when a white kid told me this, and i dont mean to sound racist!!)
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24 / F / NY
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Posted 7/17/07
[Deleted]

Don't post such dirty jokes here.
~killar
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F / Chicago, IL
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Posted 7/18/07
^ NVM

[Mental Note: Delete this later.]
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22 / M / at Home
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Posted 7/18/07
????? me rate that a 0.1! (>.<)

[not so mental note: send annoying message to slow to tell him to delete that]

Two men walk into your house. Then they walk up to you. (o.o)' what are you doing letting people into your house??
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Posted 7/18/07
1.3 :D

Your mama's so fat,that she can pull her flabby arm fat over her face
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22 / F / .....i dunno
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Posted 7/18/07
10
this little boy, John didn't want 2 go 2 skool, so he called his teacher.
Teacher:Yes?
Boy:John is sick today & can't go 2 skool.
Teacher:Oh that's terrible! May i ask whom is speaking?
Boy:My father, teacher.
Posted 7/18/07

Hamsters wrote:

????? me rate that a 0.1! (>.<)

[not so mental note: send annoying message to slow to tell him to delete that]

Two men walk into your house. Then they walk up to you. (o.o)' what are you doing letting people into your house??


That's not funny. >_>

but I got nothin. bye

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25 / M / California
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Posted 7/18/07
There were three kids with names Fuck, You and Trouble.
One day Trouble got lost.
"Fuck! You! Go look for Trouble!" says their mom.
So Fuck and You start trashing up the town,then a sherrif catches them.
"Stop right there you two!Whats you're names?"says the sherrif.
"Fuck","You"
"You came here lookin' for trouble?" says sherrif.
"yea we did"\so Fuck and you go to jail



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27 / M / Columbia, Maryland
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Posted 7/18/07
Okay, here's a joke I actually heard during a sermon at church, but it was so funny I had to share it.

There was this one very wealthy and successful man who spent his whole life never believing in God. If anyone asked him how he achieved it, he would always say he did it by his own work.

One day, he was taking a hike through the woods. As he was walking, he heard a rustling in the bushes. He though it was just his imagination so he kept going.

A little later, he heard the same sound. Thinking it was just a squirrel or a rabbit, he quickened his pace and kept going.

Later, he heard the same sound following him, so he started to run until he was in a full on sprint. Curious to see what was behind him, he turned around to see what had to be the largest bear in the world about to pounce on him and it knocked him to the ground.

Right as the bear lifted it's paw, about to impale him, he cried out, yelling, "Please, God! Help me!" and everything stopped.

The bear's paw stopped in place, the birds paused in midflight, the fishes were still in the water, and all time around him stopped.

God replied, "Why now, after all this time, do you call on me?" He replied, "Lord, I know that I have spent the better half of my life slandering your name and disobeying your laws, but I only ask of you. Please, save this bear, for it is far more worthy than me."

Just then, time around him resumed. The birds continued flying and the fish continued swimming. The bear that was about to impale his face pulled it's arm away.

It then got down on it's knees and prayed, saying this:

"Dear Lord, thank you for this food that I am about to receive."
Posted 7/18/07
i got one
the shower and the toilet were arguing. The shower came back with this comment "You may get more ass than me but i dont take shit form no one"
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26 / M / singapore
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Posted 7/19/07
k i got 1...'
3 man was talking about what is the fastest thing on earth, so the first man said
"Light is the fastest thing in the world there is nothing to match it's speed" the next man than said " No no no, "thought" is the fastest thing as you cant even measure it's speed" the last man than said to them " No la, shit is the fastest thing, there was once when i wanted to shit, before the light could turn on, before i could think of any thing, the shit come out"

well...how was it rate pls ^^
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26 / M / singapore
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Posted 7/19/07
one more
yo mama's so fat that when god said " LET THERE BE LIGHT!!!!"
she had to move
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21 / M / lol long time no...
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Posted 7/19/07
5 pretty funny but this is funny if you have watched naruto the abridged series

yo momma is so fat even naruto cant believe it !!!
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