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question to girls: Do you ever wish guys would approach you more often?
Posted 1/11/11

dokudokugwo wrote:

Guys opinion again,

I never go to bars to pick up girls, alcohol plays too much of a role. Actually I don't "pick up" too many girls in the first place, if I happen to be at Starbucks and sit down next to a nice girl or vice versa I might feel it out and at least talk to her. I think there are two parts to the equation, so girls if you are going to be too shy to say the first words please at least give a clear sign as to if you are interested or not. I just usually clear my mind and just talk, i don't look at her as the next possible ex, but as another person. Although for me looks alone doesn't necessarily make me want to talk to someone, or the other way around... I can't just say "omg it's a cute girl I'm going to go ask her out and pick up on her".

All the girls I've gone out with have approached me... I just wonder how many other girls I could have dated or at least talked to had I not been so focused on my laptop or what else I was going to be doing that day and noticed my surroundings. Also every girl it took them at least 2 weeks of flirting to get me to notice they weren't just being super nice to me. My brain is always somewhere else and switches gears 100,000 times a minute, so I kinda need to knocked on the head to notice flirting, never mind actually actively trying to do it myself.

Lastly I think we should all wear those livestrong type bracelets, with different colors for single, married, attached, and single and leave me the f alone.


The bracelet part is so funny.People already wear wedding rings.That's enough.Imagine people start
flirting more with other gender.Because there single thing is flashing out.
Posted 1/11/11
Girls always want the guy to do it first.Honestly doesn't matter
if a girl/guy does it.If you like the person tell them.They don't accept it,who cares.At least you let them
know your feelings for them,that's all it matters.

I'm not interested in that kind of things.Honestly,no
matter how stunning a guy is.I hardly get those feelings for people.I just find them attractive nothing
more.Unless I did get those feelings,I'll tell the guy.
Posted 1/11/11
Okay let's see, u girls don't have to be afraid to go up to the guy and ask him out. If he says "no" just say thanks and sorry for washouts your time, and remember there's always a guy that wants to go out with you, so don't give and just go out there. I'm a guy and I know how u feel about getting denied i have never been in a relationship in my whole life time.
Posted 1/11/11 , edited 1/11/11
Girls need to realise guys are morons and re-evaluate what they are doing in trying to get in contact with guys they like, or guys they'd like to know.

Girls have an array of little hints and signals they send out intentionally and mostly unintentionally when they'd like for a guy to approach them. Sadly guys are too dense to pick up on these little hints and will mostly confuse all the signals for being the girls common behaviour and that she's just being friendly. Guys are very insecure even if they appear to be tough and manly, and are extremely afraid of being rejected. Apart from gamers and morons, a guy won't approach a girl unless he's 99% sure he'll get a positive response.

So... If you as a girl would like for a guy to approach you, you need to make it very clear and drop bombs rather than little hints and subtle tells. Whatever you're doing, you need to do tenfold. Don't be afraid to give away that you're interested! (Why are people so afraid of letting people know if they like them?!) Make eye contact, A LOT, and smile and raise your eyebrows! SAY HI!

If you know eachother a little, touch him - knee, shoulder, elbow! (for starting) 'Joke around' about you two going out together, "haha we should go out" if the guy is like "haha yea..." he'd go out with you. Guys don't make friends with girls they wouldn't have sex with. And in 99% the cases they'd rather have sex with you and risk losing the friendship.

I get the whole guys need to man up and approach the girl thing, but girls need to realise they have to do something actively for the guy to understand he's welcome to give it a try.
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Posted 1/11/11

FlyinDumpling wrote:


jhewhelle wrote:

depends if i like the guy. but if not. its so annoying. for me. :D

haha you took the words right out of my mouth



hahaha!
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Posted 1/11/11
Me i'm Shy around strangers but Loud with People i knw :D
And my Friends say i'm unapproachable...Which i don't get..
Soo Yeah i'd Like if guys would approach me more :D
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Posted 1/11/11
a bit of both....if you like me talk to me ... if i like you a should do the same... keeping things simple
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Posted 1/11/11 , edited 1/11/11
Im Into Guys Approaching Girls Cause If A Guy Cant Approach A Girl He Isnt Worth being With:P Like Im Super Shy Around Boys Especially Hot Ones Soo Id Rather Have A Guy Appraoch me BUT If I Have To Go Into Drastic Measures Ill Approach A Guy & Just Talk To Him & What Not;D
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Posted 1/12/11
hell yea.
Posted 1/12/11
More like why do many women expect men to make the first move?

It's very, very simple: Laziness.

/end

If you're at least too shy/uncomfortable to make the first approach, the least you can do is drop some hints and show some kind of interest. If you want to be asked out then act like you want to be asked out. If the person you are targeting is shy themselves, you can either throw caution to the wind, approach them directly and overtly, and say "Look, I think you're cute and I'd like to go out with you", risking the rejection, or get a trusted friend to be an intermediary, which probably would help avoid the person's reluctance to say no thanks.

(1) Getting rejected won't kill you, (2) it doesn't make a guy any less of a man just because you approach him first, (3) no one is a mind reader, they won't know you like them unless you express it some way, (4) if the person still can't take your hints because they're that dense, be more direct


darkphate wrote:

i bet it has something to do with being labeled as slutty and or its the way it should be done men are supposed to traditionally.

Some girls who just say because it's the traditional way are just using an excuse because they don't have the esteem to make any effort. They just want old fashioned when it suits their needs. It's taking men for granted and expecting them to shoulder the burden of getting rejected. So women can kick him down if she wants. Must be the new version of equality. That's like men saying, "Yes, I want women to stay in the kitchen because I'm old fashioned." Doesn't seem right at all. If you want equal rights then you are also subject to the rejections and let downs that all men face these days.
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Posted 1/12/11
While many of those on the forum are young, grown men want women who are strong and intelligent enough to be able to raise children, maintain a family etc. etc. I see several posts stating that men should "wear the pants," but an overly timid woman is just as useless. There should be no standard, no side that should or shouldn't initiate contact. If you're interested, approach. Fear is a useless emotion.

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Posted 1/12/11 , edited 1/12/11
pretty much what astrodome has said....sometimes i just don't understand women, I mean its 2011.
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Posted 1/12/11
yes as im a shy person whose confidence is probably low.
Posted 1/12/11

astrodome wrote:

More like why do many women expect men to make the first move?

It's very, very simple: Laziness.

/end

If you're at least too shy/uncomfortable to make the first approach, the least you can do is drop some hints and show some kind of interest. If you want to be asked out then act like you want to be asked out. If the person you are targeting is shy themselves, you can either throw caution to the wind, approach them directly and overtly, and say "Look, I think you're cute and I'd like to go out with you", risking the rejection, or get a trusted friend to be an intermediary, which probably would help avoid the person's reluctance to say no thanks.

(1) Getting rejected won't kill you, (2) it doesn't make a guy any less of a man just because you approach him first, (3) no one is a mind reader, they won't know you like them unless you express it some way, (4) if the person still can't take your hints because they're that dense, be more direct


darkphate wrote:

i bet it has something to do with being labeled as slutty and or its the way it should be done men are supposed to traditionally.

Some girls who just say because it's the traditional way are just using an excuse because they don't have the esteem to make any effort. They just want old fashioned when it suits their needs. It's taking men for granted and expecting them to shoulder the burden of getting rejected. So women can kick him down if she wants. Must be the new version of equality. That's like men saying, "Yes, I want women to stay in the kitchen because I'm old fashioned." Doesn't seem right at all. If you want equal rights then you are also subject to the rejections and let downs that all men face these days.


good stuff
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Posted 2/13/11
no.
dont really like talking to guys..
especially in person.

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