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why cant parents discipline there kids nowadays?
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24 / M / Here
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Posted 1/25/11
Well as a child of two very old style Cuban parents I don't know what being spoiled means.. Though they do tend to spoil their grandchildren
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23 / F / Eden
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Posted 1/25/11

HibiscusKazeneko wrote:

I don't think this is an issue that should be joked about.
Children have actually suffered severe injuries and even DIED from the "discipline" methods you people have outlined.
For example, this past February, Kevin and Elizabeth Schatz beat one of their adopted daughters to death and nearly killed another for mispronouncing a word during a homeschool reading session. Now tell me; do you think this is "proper discipline"? 'Cuz based on some of the posts I've seen in this forum, some people here might think it is.


Um ok that child didn't do anything deserving of physical punishment, I think everyone here will agree. We're saying if a child is being a little creep and is constantly misbehaving, it is a parent's right to correct their child in a way that is reasonable according to the offense. No one here is JOKING about physical discipline.

Using an extreme method of discipline as an example was completely bogus actually. It's an argument like that that has lead to a decline in any form of discipline (time outs, etc) because parents are being cited for abuse. People who complain about how disrespectful teenagers are need to blame the schmucks that said it was wrong to punish a child because you aren't teaching them that actions have a consequence. Most parenting experts support correcting a child in order to teach them. Just don't go overboard. Most parents would agree that what they did is child abuse. But spanking a child for purposely throwing something at you is not child abuse.

My condolences to the family of the young girl.
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Posted 1/25/11
in US, they're not allowed to hurt the children right? it's totally different here at my country, the parents used to spank their children if they did something bad or if they deserve it to learn their lessons.. they even let them kneel on the salt I guess, XDD (good thing I didn't experienced the kneeling thingy) haha, I'm in favor of spanking to discipline the children nowadays, it must not be tolerated :/
Posted 1/25/11
Mine didn't discipline me cause they were drug addicts. Look how well I turned out!
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21 / F / CT
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Posted 1/25/11
i get disciplined all the time when i hear my dad yell for me i always go ohh crap what did i do hahah
soo yeah i don't get how you spank a kid its called child abuse just dumb
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26 / M
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Posted 1/25/11

Juji_chan wrote:

I think its wrong to hit a child for no reason at all but spanking them when they deserve it sounds very legit to me >.> my mom spanked me and sent me too my room when I used to act up and my god Im glad she did, Im glad she didnt let me get away with things I did wrong


well my dad spanked but then i wised up and rolled myself up in a burrito of thick blankets like 7 of em( and laughed as he tried(3 and he was done i forget what happened afterwards oh yeah the im disjointedness in you thing touche dad touche)
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Posted 1/25/11
Corporal punishment is a necessary part of the development of any child that can, and should, be done in a manner that does not give anyone reason to call the cops or criticize the parents. A parent should avoid spanking a child in public (but there may be times when that is not possible), and should never strike a child in anger. Instead, spanking should be done in private, for the sake not further embarrassing parent or child, and it should be memorable. I'm not suggesting leaving bruises or welts, or doing anything abusive, but merely that the pain should be real.

Now, as a prelude to this, the child must know and understand the rules of behavior. The parent should ask "What did you do?" and the child should acknowledge both the deed and the resulting punishment. After the spanking, which should be done with a small rod (no bigger around than your little finger, and not the bare hand), the parent immediately should reaffirm their love for the child.

Spanking is appropriate for young children, but I have had to do that with one of my three as old as fourteen. Spanking, with measured and appropriate intensity, should be used early and other punishments, like temporarily revoking a privilege, should be applied as the child matures. I don't use spanking for every offense, only the most egregious.
Posted 1/25/11

HibiscusKazeneko wrote:

I don't think this is an issue that should be joked about.
Children have actually suffered severe injuries and even DIED from the "discipline" methods you people have outlined.
For example, this past February, Kevin and Elizabeth Schatz beat one of their adopted daughters to death and nearly killed another for mispronouncing a word during a homeschool reading session. Now tell me; do you think this is "proper discipline"? 'Cuz based on some of the posts I've seen in this forum, some people here might think it is.


what those parents did was abuse, it really wasn't discipline to begin with =/ striking a child because of dropping a potato chip on the ground by mistake isn't something that's asking for a spanking but if a child curses at you and or hits you(like the kid on Dr Phil that hit his mom) then yeah, they deserve a spanking =P I understand what you are saying but I dont think anyone here would agree with what those parents did, like I said, that what they did too that girl was abusive, especially if its over mispronouncing a word >.> something like that isnt legitimate

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Posted 1/25/11
the extent of discipline varies among cultures..

for instance, a carribean islander's tactics for scolding their children may be deemed "cruel & unusual" here in the US.
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27 / F / ダラス
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Posted 1/25/11

kuromikowaii wrote:
Um ok that child didn't do anything deserving of physical punishment, I think everyone here will agree. We're saying if a child is being a little creep and is constantly misbehaving, it is a parent's right to correct their child in a way that is reasonable according to the offense. No one here is JOKING about physical discipline.

Kippu did.

Kippu wrote:
They just don't know how to hit their child right. The trick is not to get caught or leave any evidence. I'm just going to beat my child to death

The reason I got mad is because people literally do beat their children to death and sometimes resort to other methods such as hot sauce, cold showers and even starvation. I know of books that give detailed instructions on how to beat, humiliate and essentially crush the soul of your child. Here's a few Amazon links as proof:
http://www.amazon.com/Train-Up-Child-Michael-Pearl/dp/1892112000
http://www.amazon.com/Shepherding-Childs-Heart-Tedd-Tripp/dp/0966378601/ref=pd_sim_b_6
http://www.amazon.com/Dont-Make-Count-Three-Heart-Oriented/dp/0972304649/ref=pd_sim_b_3
http://www.amazon.com/Creative-Correction-Focus-Family-Book/dp/1561799017
http://www.amazon.com/Spanking-Why-When-Roy-Lessin/dp/0871234947/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1295967795&sr=1-1

And here's a YouTube video of some of these methods caught on tape:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TmLhHimvx8M
Note the absolute agony the child is in.
Posted 1/25/11 , edited 1/25/11

HibiscusKazeneko wrote:


kuromikowaii wrote:
Um ok that child didn't do anything deserving of physical punishment, I think everyone here will agree. We're saying if a child is being a little creep and is constantly misbehaving, it is a parent's right to correct their child in a way that is reasonable according to the offense. No one here is JOKING about physical discipline.

Kippu did.

Kippu wrote:
They just don't know how to hit their child right. The trick is not to get caught or leave any evidence. I'm just going to beat my child to death

The reason I got mad is because people literally do beat their children to death and sometimes resort to other methods such as hot sauce, cold showers and even starvation. I know of books that give detailed instructions on how to beat, humiliate and essentially crush the soul of your child. Here's a few Amazon links as proof:
http://www.amazon.com/Train-Up-Child-Michael-Pearl/dp/1892112000
http://www.amazon.com/Shepherding-Childs-Heart-Tedd-Tripp/dp/0966378601/ref=pd_sim_b_6
http://www.amazon.com/Dont-Make-Count-Three-Heart-Oriented/dp/0972304649/ref=pd_sim_b_3
http://www.amazon.com/Creative-Correction-Focus-Family-Book/dp/1561799017
http://www.amazon.com/Spanking-Why-When-Roy-Lessin/dp/0871234947/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1295967795&sr=1-1

And here's a YouTube video of some of these methods caught on tape:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TmLhHimvx8M
Note the absolute agony the child is in.


I dont think Kippu meant anything cruel by it 8/

and once again, I can agree there is a point too were parents are taking there authority too far >.> and I dont agree with those parents who do so, those methods right there in my eyes are too cruel, but most of us here agree that corpal punishment is legit if a kid is acting up and actually do deserve it, starving, cold showers and hot sauce as you listed, in my opinion are taking it way too far
Posted 1/25/11 , edited 1/25/11
My brother is a spoiled shit 50% of the time and only ever got the belt once or twice. Pisses me off because every time I stepped out of line growing up, I got beat like crazy. And I turned out great, if I do say so myself. I never got knocked up, I don't smoke, I don't drink, I'm like a fucking angel. >:O My mom says she didn't want me/doesn't want him to have to face the harsh realities of life at such a young age. I still don't completely understand it.
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27 / M / tampa, florida usa
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Posted 1/25/11
discipline is just one facade of child development which has already been discussed upon and methods have been highlighted but this forum topic isn't to insist on a preferred method its instead a stem off another topic on "spoiled" children and the parents inability to correct such behaviors

now why they cant is rather simple in my opinion most people may not have the luxury of having both parents when growing up and as the old adage goes it does take a community to raise a child so how can you expect one person to do it, not that they cant its just that when that child grows into an adult and finds himself in a somewhat similar situation were he becomes a father for example yet he doesn't know a thing because his own father ran out on him. the likely analogy would be trying to build a car from scratch with just the user manual.
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26 / F / Evergreen, Colora...
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Posted 1/25/11 , edited 10/10/11
I'm seeing a lot of logical fallacies being used as justification for physical punishment, mainly:
If x happened to me and I turned out y, then that must be the case for everyone. Your personal story is not necessarily generalizable for everyone. Ever heard of confounding variables? Same goes for "I see so and so kid that's spoiled, it must be because they aren't being beaten enough" ... maybe they have divorced or single parents, are poor or of low socio-economic status, are from a different culture, are on vacation and behaving differently than normal, or perhaps the parents just haven't been saying "No" to their kid, a word that doesn't require a spanking to be effective when used frequently in the right situations and consistently.



That was seriously the creepiest thing I've read in a while. There is no reason to hit your kids with a rod, seriously. If it isn't illegal where you live, it should be. Do you have to hit yourself now in order to make sure life lessons stick with you? No? What about in school, if your teachers didn't hit you at the end of every chapter, would you fail the test? Sure, these are shit examples, and they make about as much sense as your argument. Corporal punishment ISN'T necessary. Whether you were physicall punished is not the sole determining factor in whether or not you behave as a child or turn out to be a good person. If you can't punish your child in public, maybe it's because you're doing something that is wrong and should be looked down upon. Hitting and then immediately reaffirming love... maybe that's why some people become sado-masochists?




No. Education is spending time with your children, talking to them, figuring out WHY they misbehaved so you can prevent it from happening in the future. Telling your child what they did wrong and making sure they actually UNDERSTAND it. Do teachers use corporal punishment? Nope. I got all A's without being beaten. Amazing, right? Parents are supposed to guide their children and do not need harmful means to do so.



I've never been in any minor or serious trouble, been arrested, gotten a ticket, gotten in trouble at work or school. And I was not beaten. Coincidence? It doesn't work like that. Correlation doesn't equal causation.
Example : I say I was sexually abused growing up, and never acted out because I was afraid it would happen again. My three closest friends were also sexually abused and never misbehaved either. We all ended up going to medical school together and are upstanding citizens. Boy how fucked up we would've been if our parents hadn't sexually abused us! <<< See how that doesn't quite sound right? Same with your argument.
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27 / M / tampa, florida usa
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Posted 1/25/11
oh i would also like to say that it is legal in the US to physically discipline a child at least in the state of Florida there's just a very visible line between discipline and abuse thats all
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