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why cant parents discipline there kids nowadays?
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26 / F / Evergreen, Colora...
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Posted 1/25/11 , edited 1/25/11

squirrel3d wrote:


So those parents are being stupid by following their kid, instead of realizing that, whether any child wants to admit it or not, they look up to the parent and will "follow" them to a degree. If the parent just acts like a role model more, maybe their kids would behave a bit better. Ever heard a parent say "Do what I say, not what I do" and then wonder why their kid did something they've been doing? I have. Be a parent, be a role model for your kids, talk to them, discipline them, teach them, guide them, spend time with them. No beatings necessary.

I do think it's sad how frequently people are getting CPS-happy over issues that they shouldn't be. My mom slapped me once when I was a kid, if someone would've seen it, they might've called, not knowing that my mom had never done that before and never did it again. Another girl I know, she takes picture's of her ex's house when it's got a tiny bit of dust and regularly reports him to CPS hoping to get full custody of her kid (It doesn't work, but still...)

By the way, I'm only being the devil's advocate. I don't feel strongly about others spanking, though I don't spank my son. A friend of mine started an argument on her facebook status against physical punishment and I argued for it. I feel like people aren't critically thinking about this at all, or using sound logic, or even considering research that's available.
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41 / M / Billings,Montana
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Posted 1/25/11
In America they always take the kids side of the story. The kid can beat the living crap out of you. You are suppose to take it. If you lay a hand on the kid then of course someone will say something. I just had a guy who works with me. His son punched him in the ribs. He couldn't do anything about it. This is what today's society has to say. When I was a kid and I got in trouble it was painful and long. The more painful it was the more I learned my lesson. I would have to say that after a couple run ins I learned my lesson.
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F / In The Meawdow of...
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Posted 1/25/11 , edited 1/25/11
I get disciplined. Nigerien parents are very rough. =____________=

I been hit by a broom, ( and not the soft part the handle ) , A Glass Back scratch-er, and A bet, and A Plastic Flute (( It also came out as glass). She also hit me with a pencil bag too. My cousin got beat by her parents that she started bleeding badly, so I don't support spankings at all.

Though I am very smart kid, so I can avoid most hits. Also, I'm still in Middle School and she still hits me with anything she can find near me, so I hide very possible weapon. I'm not going to listen to someone who uses violence as a way to keep someone under control. I'm only lucky my dad doesn't support it.
Posted 1/25/11
My kids will have the giveth and taketh away discipline, that is, if they behave appallingly I will threaten to take a toy away or something.

Posted 1/25/11

Chained_Angel wrote:

My kids will have the giveth and taketh away discipline, that is, if they behave appallingly I will threaten to take a toy away or something.



8'P sadly that didnt work on me when I was small, if a toy was taken away I'd find something else too play with

Posted 1/25/11

Juji_chan wrote:


Chained_Angel wrote:

My kids will have the giveth and taketh away discipline, that is, if they behave appallingly I will threaten to take a toy away or something.



8'P sadly that didnt work on me when I was small, if a toy was taken away I'd find something else too play with



Lmao, nah I mean things like games consoles. Meh...hopefully I'll just send them to good schools and bring them up in a good neighbourhood. What am I saying? I hate kids....
Posted 1/25/11


lets just say I was easily entertained x'D and I was a stubborn child 8'P bless my mother's soul
Im not having kids at all >__< I already know for sure im not cut out too be a parent
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Posted 1/25/11 , edited 1/25/11
I was never spanked by my parents but i sure was yelled at. I wasn't a bad kid, of course when i was little i had my temper tantrums every now and then (who hasn't) but i was only yelled at in a stern voice. Obviously not all kids are like me and some do need that pat on the but to realise what they did was wrong. Discipline definitely depends on the kid, whether to spank or not to spank.
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23 / F / London Below
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Posted 1/25/11
I believe it runs in a cycle, that starts with marketing companies. My therory is that marketers whore themselves out to children who bug the crap out of their parents for the latest toy/gadet/handbag and not wanting to put up with them, the parent indulges the child. It also doesn't halp that today's parents are young and are raising their children in a te4chnology dominated society, where you don't have to be a parent because the computer and the school system will do it for you!

This "Child abuse" thing is getting ridiculous too, I used to get spanked and yelled (and and beat with the belt wehn I was REALLY bad) when I was a kid and I turned out just fine. (I was always afraid of being yelled at by my father because he scared me and I spent a lot of time being ragged about school work as a young child.) I never got away with anything and was usually grounded! (Grounding worked for me because my life was OUTSIDE with friends) Especailly in school...the teacher would always call the house...Today parents are too busy trying to be the "cool" parent, they need to suck it up and RAISE their kids! The TV WILL NOT do it for you!
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23 / Rainbow Factory
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Posted 1/25/11
I feel that it is necessary, at times and with the proper reasons, to discipline a child. Whether that be physical or psychological. When I was younger I was never grounded. That's because I always got a spanking when I screwed up. Now, that didn't make me into a nice perfect little kid. I still ended up getting suspended from school and constantly into fights with teachers. However, after a long time of physical discipline, I began to consider my choices a little bit more carefully. That's what happened for me. I got spanked countless times and after years of this treatment i began to slowly wise up. Now, I'm not saying that this is the only way to raise a child. If you don't need to use pain and fear to check most of your child's actions then don't. In this modern age threatening or actually taking away game systems is a feasible punishment; especially since that's where most kids learn some of their shit talking bad habits. But that's not always the best course. I'm not sure about kids today, but when I was younger I had a PS2, a NES and Sega Genesis. If my parents ever took the systems away I'd go play outside with my friends or read or play with toys. Considering that parents these days, at least the stereotype for them, buys their kid everything so that they don't have to deal with them. These kids would probably go crazy at the idea of loosing their "life."

Moving to a new topic, (sort of)
Physical punishment can be taken over and above the line of right. The example made a few pages ago, about the kid getting beaten to death for mispronouncing a word, that is completely out there. I don't think that any competent person should be that ticked if their kid is learning a new word/hard word and can't say it right. I say should in that sentence because humanity is filled with overcompensating idiots. That is also my own personal opinion. An example of overcompensation that I witnessed back in first grade still sort of scares me. I don't know if the kid really deserved what he got but anyway he was seriously misbehaving in class, he did the same for the rest of the years I saw him anyway, one day the teacher got sick of dealing with him and called his mother to deal with him. As a first grader I hadn't known what to expect since I was only exposed to spankings and groundings. the boys mother comes into the room and beats him with a belt. Technically it was spanking. Anyway, the odd part about this story is that this happened inside a school in front of a teacher and a class of first graders, and he (the teacher) just went on with the lesson. As far as I know nothing of a legal presence got involved. But I can tell you that I was scared shitless for the next few months that my parents would beat me with a belt. I was generally able to stay in line.

Another somewhat separate topic,
The thing about adults and others being legally unable to protect themselves from a kid is sort of idiotic. Sort of meaning that you can't take it over the line. If a kid punches you and tries to keep doing it then you should be able to restrain him/her and only hit back if you have absolutely no choice. Saying "No" probably won't stop an angry child. However, if you get hit by a kid and immediately throw a punch/kick back with full force, you probably shouldn't be around kids because that goes above the line. Especially if it's just unarmed hitting. I'm always baffled when they say at camp counselor things that you shouldn't hit a kid back even if they won't stop attacking you. Especially if the kid is about 14-16. (I understand legality to an extent but from the point of self-defense I make this argument)
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24 / M / Northwest
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Posted 1/25/11
From what i've seen and experience I see some kids actually the ones in control not the parents. The kid get's everything they want while the parents provide it and can't do anything about it which is so wrong. Also my parents used to spank me when I was little, lot's of different ways of punishing me but heck it helped discipline me and show me that I can't get everything I want. But sometimes disciplining may not be the solution as well, my brother who grew up the same as me is the biggest dickface to my parents and they pretty much obey his command and it's sad when i see them being disrespected like that. I don't like where society is going with this though kids really need to know their place.
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26 / F / Evergreen, Colora...
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Posted 1/25/11
I think the real tragedy is parents who won't parent. If you don't observe what your child is doing, and they've crushed the cat and broke it's leg - who is responsible? In the eyes of many parents, only the child is, even though children have to be monitored to some degree. It goes from constant attention and monitoring at newborn, with more and more freedom allowed as time passes AND as the child proves trustworthy. If your kid keeps getting into trouble, don't keep giving them more freedom, privileges, "toys" (including $200 sneakers instead of $10 ones). If they get into trouble, you take their toys and privileges away - you can be mean and give them a uniform to wear to school and not let (your daughter) wear make-up, take away the cell phone, hold onto the keys to their car, not let her see her friends or her boyfriend outside of school, and make her do extra chores for a period of two weeks and that should be more effective than beating her ass (unless you haven't been teaching your kid respect and responsibility from a very young age or don't know how to monitor them and make them follow your rules). Pay a little bit of attention to your kids, love them, care about them, and don't expect them to act older than their age (ie: a 3 year old will have tantrums. If a kid at that age is silent and never expresses emotion, they aren't developing properly and aren't healthy emotionally, and chances are their parents either abuse or neglect them). We have standards for what is abuse and neglect for a reason. Sure, you got beat and feel it was best, but for some people - they don't turn out so well. Abuse and neglect can result in some major learning difficulties and mental illnesses, but also to later behavioral problems and criminality. It sucks for the kid, because it isn't ever a kid's fault that they were beaten or ignored (I'm talking about full ignoring like a 5 year old who lives in an attic wearing a diaper and unable to speak), it's their parents fault completely for not wanting to spend the time, attention, love, money, resources, and energy/efforts on parenting that parenting requires. We need to put responsibility where it belongs - into the parents who need to spend time with their children, learn their children's attitudes and behaviors and personality, figure out why behavior problems are happening, and actually spend time and effort to fix the problem. Getting home, sitting on a couch, watching TV, and occasionally getting up to beat your kid or yell at them, going to dinner, watching more TV, then going to bed isn't parenting.
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23 / Rainbow Factory
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Posted 1/25/11


Honestly, if you aren't going to care correctly for your own child, why have one at all?
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26 / F / Evergreen, Colora...
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Posted 1/25/11

ZenZaku wrote:



Honestly, if you aren't going to care correctly for your own child, why have one at all?


I don't know why. My dad somewhat fell into this role by marrying my mom (she already had us at that point) and he was kind of a backseat parent until it came to things we did that annoyed him or that HE thought should be disciplined. At first, my mom wouldn't stand up to him or take our sides, even when he was being fucking ridiculous. Until the day that he chased me around the kitchen and shoved me into the island and was about to punch me and my mom started punching him in the back. If he really didn't want to be a parent, he shouldn't have married my mom.

I imagine this is sometimes the case, that one parent wants kids, and the other does not. If the one that wants them has to work or be out of the house, it might result in abuse or neglect.

For some people, though, it's poor socio-economic status and poor education, lack of resources, things that result in them having kids on accident. Why they keep them if they don't REALLY want to, I don't know. For a couple that my sister knows, they do it because they are on welfare and buy people things food using their benefits card in exchange for crack. She said she got pressured into watching their baby one time and said it was severely developmentally delayed and emotionally numb. I would've called CPS for that - as I think drugged out parents who pass their child onto complete strangers and neglect it, that's definitely a decent reason to call.
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23 / Rainbow Factory
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Posted 1/25/11

MelodieLenora wrote:


ZenZaku wrote:



Honestly, if you aren't going to care correctly for your own child, why have one at all?


I don't know why. My dad somewhat fell into this role by marrying my mom (she already had us at that point) and he was kind of a backseat parent until it came to things we did that annoyed him or that HE thought should be disciplined. At first, my mom wouldn't stand up to him or take our sides, even when he was being fucking ridiculous. Until the day that he chased me around the kitchen and shoved me into the island and was about to punch me and my mom started punching him in the back. If he really didn't want to be a parent, he shouldn't have married my mom.

I imagine this is sometimes the case, that one parent wants kids, and the other does not. If the one that wants them has to work or be out of the house, it might result in abuse or neglect.

For some people, though, it's poor socio-economic status and poor education, lack of resources, things that result in them having kids on accident. Why they keep them if they don't REALLY want to, I don't know. For a couple that my sister knows, they do it because they are on welfare and buy people things food using their benefits card in exchange for crack. She said she got pressured into watching their baby one time and said it was severely developmentally delayed and emotionally numb. I would've called CPS for that - as I think drugged out parents who pass their child onto complete strangers and neglect it, that's definitely a decent reason to call.


I agree with that. I'm not intending to start a debate on the rights or wrongs of abortion/adoption. But if they don't want the child then they should use one of those two options. The problem is that people don't think about how hard it is to raise children I suspect. They just want kids to show that they are responsible and adults. And then once the initial rush of having kids runs out they fall in with the old toys/video games/fads to use an analogy.
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