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Sexuality: Choice or determined before being born?
Posted 3/4/11
I searched and searched, but I couldn't find a topic like this in any forum. If there's a topic like this existing, let the staff know to delete it.


I've read many arguments and even volunteered to speak in some about this topic on sexuality. I didn't know it was so touchy for people to talk about to be honest. That was on DeviantArt however, where many people are like ED (Encyclopedia Dramatica) and 4chan. I'd like to see opinions from people on here. I hope there will be mature and detailed statements.

So my question of course is do you believe you can choose your attraction to either gender or is it determined before you are born? Why or why not? I already made up my mind on how I feel about this, but it'll be intriguing to see other viewpoints on here.


Don't quote me to tell me your answer either, that's a little annoying. I'll just ignore it.
Posted 3/4/11
I think that human gender preference can be socialized by both their culture and their environment. However when it comes to human sexual orientation, that's predetermined by human genetic trait.

First, you should understand how your culture shapes your preference. In the form of gender ideology as a part of your identity, your ego.

Next, consider how biology can partially cause sexual attraction among both sexes. Hence why sexual orientation is a part of genetic trait.
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24 / M / France
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Posted 3/5/11
All I know is...
BABY I WAS BORN THIS WAY
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30 / M
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Posted 3/5/11
I'm going to agree wholeheartedly with DomFortress.

I've heard that most people are actually bisexuals - it is just that social conditioning encourages them to act and believe that they are heterosexual. This makes sense to me, as I doubt that sexuality is a binary thing with a simple "on/off" switch.
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31 / M / Lagrange, KY
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Posted 3/6/11
This is a hard one, i know some that is genuinely gay and only has feelings for men and that's it, it's the way he was born as far as I am concerned. I know that sounds weird but moving on i also knew some one that was gay for only one person the old "i would turn gay for you" well it was true, he had real feelings for the guy but only for that guy no other guy even peaked his feelings at all. Now he is married to some woman i haven't meet "since i lost contact with him" and has a kid. To be honest I am not sure i a really am not at all, everyone is different and has different sets of emotion but that's my point of view.
Posted 3/6/11

Taedrin wrote:

I'm going to agree wholeheartedly with DomFortress.

I've heard that most people are actually bisexuals - it is just that social conditioning encourages them to act and believe that they are heterosexual. This makes sense to me, as I doubt that sexuality is a binary thing with a simple "on/off" switch.
Well personally speaking, I'm an androgynous heterosexual man in a nutshell. I sure look masculine enough on the outside, but psychologically I identify myself with both masculine and feminine values and virtues. I'm sexually attracted to the opposite sex, while biologically I have male sexual trait. Which are predetermined by my genes.
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Posted 3/6/11
Investigations in the endocrine glands show that both male and female hormones are present in each sex.
I guess that makes humans bisexual by nature.

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Posted 3/6/11
My question is... when did heterosexual choose to be straight? Or is it that only homosexuals and bisexuals choose to "deviate" from heterosexuality. It seems kindof hypocritical to me. Like "I didn't choose to be straight. I was born this way. But you CHOSE to be gay. God doesn't make people gay." I included God because most arguments of choice vs birth are relating to religion's typical opposition to homosexuality.'

I like women. I suppose you could call me bisexual, although I really don't know, I've felt bisexual, lesbian, asexual... I figure my sexuality is fluid and on a spectrum and it moves and changes, it doesn't stay still and rigid. Perhaps that's because I haven't found "the one."
I did not choose to like women. I had crushes on girls and boys since I was 10 years old, maybe even younger. Culture and religion pressured me to suppress those feelings, ignore them, deny them. Once I abandoned that, I realized that it was a-okay for me to have romantic and sexual feelings regarding women.

Dom Fortress' post makes the most sense to me. I think it is possible that we are all born liking both sexes to some degree and learn by culture, religion, media, and/or personal experiences to suppress or encourage one or the other.

Perhaps you're born bisexual, after 10 - 20 years of "teaching" by the aforementioned forces, you tend to lean towards heterosexuality. If it is a sort of part nature, part nurture thing, I would imagine that once it is set in place, your sexuality likely won't change. Ie: once your personality and identity are solid and not likely to change, neither will your sexuality.

I think it's most likely 90% genes, 10% environment.
Posted 3/6/11 , edited 3/6/11

Phyzjob wrote:

Investigations in the endocrine glands show that both male and female hormones are present in each sex.
I guess that makes humans bisexual by nature.
Not quite, when you forgot to factor in the environmental variable. Just because biologically there's a potential of bisexuality in some population, the environment is a big part when it comes to natural selection. Furthermore, you should understand that sociologically gender ideology is more than just what's culturally acceptable sexual behaviors within a society. When it provides a point of reference for our identity, our worth, and what it means to be who we are in the society through the socialization of selfhood and role-model.

And that's where the issue arrives: the Western society still stubbornly upholding the unrealistic and oversimplified cultural concept of gender role being either a male or a female in their mainstream medias, when there's nothing in-between. While the diversity of human sexuality and gender complexity is being discovered and quantified scientifically, both literally and conceptually redefining and expanding the academic landscape of human nature itself, those that are controlling the mainstream are afraid of challenging both themselves' and their viewers' own collective perception of who they really are based on their cultural roles.


MelodieLenora wrote:

My question is... when did heterosexual choose to be straight? Or is it that only homosexuals and bisexuals choose to "deviate" from heterosexuality. It seems kindof hypocritical to me. Like "I didn't choose to be straight. I was born this way. But you CHOSE to be gay. God doesn't make people gay." I included God because most arguments of choice vs birth are relating to religion's typical opposition to homosexuality.'

I like women. I suppose you could call me bisexual, although I really don't know, I've felt bisexual, lesbian, asexual... I figure my sexuality is fluid and on a spectrum and it moves and changes, it doesn't stay still and rigid. Perhaps that's because I haven't found "the one."
I did not choose to like women. I had crushes on girls and boys since I was 10 years old, maybe even younger. Culture and religion pressured me to suppress those feelings, ignore them, deny them. Once I abandoned that, I realized that it was a-okay for me to have romantic and sexual feelings regarding women.

Dom Fortress' post makes the most sense to me. I think it is possible that we are all born liking both sexes to some degree and learn by culture, religion, media, and/or personal experiences to suppress or encourage one or the other.

Perhaps you're born bisexual, after 10 - 20 years of "teaching" by the aforementioned forces, you tend to lean towards heterosexuality. If it is a sort of part nature, part nurture thing, I would imagine that once it is set in place, your sexuality likely won't change. Ie: once your personality and identity are solid and not likely to change, neither will your sexuality.

I think it's most likely 90% genes, 10% environment.
Identity crisis can be very scary and dangerous, if not altogether confusing at least, to those who lacks adaptivity and thus creativity. But that's understandable when you have a failed education system in the first place.

The real challenge then is acceptance through compassion, not mere tolerance. for what's not really a symbolic matter of right or wrong, but only differences in terms of technicality. However it's ironic how most religions had not been teaching kindness but rather pride, not curiosity but instead self-righteousness, and not engagement but rather advocacy. It's no wonder how compassion is lost in what's supposed to be the spiritual point of reference in our culture.
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Posted 3/9/11
Well I think it's not a choice at all, I was born liking men; but I never chose to like men. There were many times when I had wanted to be straight, but it just wasn't working; I was never attracted to women. I never once chose to be homosexual, but soon after I accepted myself; I actually realized that there were clues there the whole time that I was a homosexual; even when I was 4 (and age where you definitely can't choose what you like).
Although I do believe some people do choose to pretend to be homosexual when they are not, some people do it for popularity or other things. Which makes no sense, because of all of the hate on the LGBT community; I don't see why someone would pretend to be something that is hated so much by the world =/

I hope this doesn't turn out to sound like chicken scratch , that happens sometimes.
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Posted 3/10/11
Most experts in the field think that it's a bunch of different factors that I guess determine orientation. I know I never made the choice to find women attractive, I just always was drawn to them since I was little. I fought against it a lot internally especially since I'm also attracted to men, becuase it was confusing and I had no knowledge of the possibility of being bisexual
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31 / M / Planet Mars
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Posted 3/10/11
Dom probably said it all.

Sexuality as a learned behavior?
--sexuality acts in prison
--sexuality observed in animals raised in captivity
--sexuality in non christian cultures like Romans, and Feudal Japan
I kind of relate this question to interracial marriage, monogamy/polygamy and interspecies mating. Personally I don't think we're born to be attracted to one set of characteristics. I think it is affected by imprinting at a young age and strongly affected by social circumstances. There's probably no ethical way to know for sure though.
Posted 3/12/11
no way to know for sure though.
Posted 3/12/11

kawii_amy wrote:

no way to know for sure though.
When you don't even ask question, that's not unexpected.
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Posted 3/12/11
I wanna show you guys something that cites a study on the matter.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PooEhBxh0NY&feature=feedlik
Naturally with most things in psychology, it appears to be a mixture of both nature and nurture, but it's not something you can decide. I'm straight.. I couldn't force myself to like women because of whatever.
There's that and the stigma attached to being gay, it doesn't make sense to argue that it's a choice. Why would so many people choose to be subject of such discrimination? It just doesn't work.
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