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Sexuality: Choice or determined before being born?
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33 / F / Edmonton, Alberta...
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Posted 7/6/11
Interesting points made so far, I think there's a bit of a biological influence as well as a heavier influence on social acceptance and personal feelings. These are three different sections which we can break down.

Biological: Physical attraction as straight, bi, gay, or more rarely nonsexual (no sexual desire, though the last would likely be classified as some psychological disorder).

social: the environment in which you were raised and dwell in, in short, your environment.

Personal: ideologies, values, morals, and other philosophical/psychological considerations.

I think most people are probably bi-sexual (COULD develop a sexual relationship with someone of either sex), but don't often express this out of a lack of need. Most won't break the status quo (heterosexuality) when they have no reason to. Things which might challenge a person's heterosexuality is forming close bonds of friendship which eventually make a person question their heterosexuality and values. People who simply can not under any circumstance develop a sexual feeling towards someone of the same or opposite sex would be strictly heterosexual or homosexual, respectively. They may find themselves questioning themselves and their sexuality, and even if they decide to 'experiment', if they can't bring to bare feelings of a sexual nature for that person, then they can't do it as most probably a biological response (or perhaps psychosomatic?)
Posted 7/6/11 , edited 7/6/11
I strongly believe that sexuality is determined before birth. Why would any sane fellow be willingly submissive to social ostracism?

The question is very similar to physical attraction. An article online states that babies as young as 3 months identify and prefer faces deemed beautiful by the majority.
3 months old and s/he already can differentiate a "beautiful" face from an "average" one. How is this relative? Well, the baby did not CHOOSE what faces should be seen beautiful nor did society have any impact on that choice. The same theory can be applied to sexuality. It is/was never a choice to choose who you'll NATURALLY be attracted to.

To everyone who thinks it's a choice: Did you ever come to a point where you asked yourself, "Do I want to be straight or gay?". I've been once told by a gay friend this: " Imagine being forced to marry the same sex just because society, supported by the bible, says that's the right thing to do. Would you be happy?"



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Posted 7/6/11
I would imagine it's a mixture. However, I am much more keen on saying that people are dominantly born their sexual preference. I went to a Christian high school and had a friend who figured out she was a lesbian and was completely crushed by the entire community there. It was awful. I can't see how people would choose such persecution.

On the other hand, I had a friend who was straight, but people kept saying over and over, "Friend, you're so gay" until eventually he became bi. This leads me to question. But I'm not in his head, so I haven't a clue.
Posted 7/6/11

jypsyjulia wrote:

I would imagine it's a mixture. However, I am much more keen on saying that people are dominantly born their sexual preference. I went to a Christian high school and had a friend who figured out she was a lesbian and was completely crushed by the entire community there. It was awful. I can't see how people would choose such persecution.

On the other hand, I had a friend who was straight, but people kept saying over and over, "Friend, you're so gay" until eventually he became bi. This leads me to question. But I'm not in his head, so I haven't a clue.
Your other friend might be behaving as a result of social conformity, considering that encouragement alone can have an overwhelming influence over an individual's moral compass and decision-making process. You don't need to be in his head to exercise your empathy, when you're already there by yourself empathizing with your first friend.
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Posted 7/6/11

DomFortress wrote:


jypsyjulia wrote:

I would imagine it's a mixture. However, I am much more keen on saying that people are dominantly born their sexual preference. I went to a Christian high school and had a friend who figured out she was a lesbian and was completely crushed by the entire community there. It was awful. I can't see how people would choose such persecution.

On the other hand, I had a friend who was straight, but people kept saying over and over, "Friend, you're so gay" until eventually he became bi. This leads me to question. But I'm not in his head, so I haven't a clue.
Your other friend might be behaving as a result of social conformity, considering that encouragement alone can have an overwhelming influence over an individual's moral compass and decision-making process. You don't need to be in his head to exercise your empathy, when you're already there by yourself empathizing with your first friend.


I empathize with his internal struggle of whether or not he is bi, of course. I mean that I don't know if I think he is bi or straight - as in, I don't know whether he was born this way due to all the environmental pressure put on him. I don't want to judge and say he is or isn't because I don't know what's going through his mind, but I do know it must be rough.
Posted 7/6/11 , edited 7/6/11

jypsyjulia wrote:



I empathize with his internal struggle of whether or not he is bi, of course. I mean that I don't know if I think he is bi or straight - as in, I don't know whether he was born this way due to all the environmental pressure put on him. I don't want to judge and say he is or isn't because I don't know what's going through his mind, but I do know it must be rough.
But as a friend, you can be there for them in their moment of needs. Now that you know just how unnecessarily rough their life must be, due to the real yet unjustified social forces, from a privileged yet uneducated society, that don't really understand them nor empathize with them. In a world where mainstream mass medias act as a cultural gatepost for manufacturing public consent, you can be a part of the bridge that resolves social inequality and injustice.
Posted 7/7/11 , edited 7/7/11
i think lust comes wit the animal instinct to survive....more like a primitive reaction to whatever makes a move which pushes us 2 hunt IT blindly EWWWWW.....for me sexual orientation is undefined by nature LOL***
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25 / F / Dream Land
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Posted 7/19/11
I honestly don't know.. how can we know? I just know myself and my preference is man or woman.
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Posted 7/24/11
So we haven't found the so called "gay gene" but have we ever found a "straight gene?"

I think I'd probably sound like a troll if I left it at that, so I'll say the presumption that a gay gene exists implies, genetically speaking that sexual orientation depends on a switch like a light switch "gay" or "straight" when what we've learned insofar as the human experience is concerned sexuality is far too complex and multilayered to be relegated to a simple switch.

The above doesn't really support my conclusions about it, but my honest opinion: no sexuality is not a choice, you're born one way or the other. I think lots of opposition from that stems from the fact that it can be interpreted to say babies and children are then gay even before they even have the concept of what sex is. No that's not the same as saying five year old boys are sneaking out at night to visit the local Chippendale's. Being gay as a child doesn't make them any more sexually active or promiscuous than other children, it's just when the time comes for them to mature and start thinking about sex that genetic determinant that they got before birth is already there. Just like with straight people, your sexual orientation isn't determined at the point you start thinking about it. If it was then wouldn't that be irrefutable evidence, and the only evidence needed, that sexual orientation is a choice?
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Posted 7/24/11 , edited 7/24/11

jypsyjulia wrote:

I would imagine it's a mixture. However, I am much more keen on saying that people are dominantly born their sexual preference. I went to a Christian high school and had a friend who figured out she was a lesbian and was completely crushed by the entire community there. It was awful. I can't see how people would choose such persecution.

On the other hand, I had a friend who was straight, but people kept saying over and over, "Friend, you're so gay" until eventually he became bi. This leads me to question. But I'm not in his head, so I haven't a clue.


It could also be that his friends knew better than he did.

It's possible to be... non-normative... in some way but be bludgeoned by your upbringing into attempting to be hypernormal in order to fit in.

as a specific example, it's possible to be born gay, raised homophobic, and act hypermasculine while fearing to have that shield of masculinity peirced.


The fact that you can fight, at times completely below the concious level, with your sexual orientation or identity until you are into your 'midlife' or later before accepting, says volumes to me about weather it's a 'choice' or not.

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Posted 7/28/11
~I have to say, I agree w/ those people who said that sexuality is determined environmentally and not before birth. I don't really know how to explain it, but I know that my opinion is true because I know some people who were straight before but when they were w/ people who were gay, a few years later, WHAM! They're now one of the gayherd.
Posted 7/28/11

_DaboinextdoorSed wrote:

~I have to say, I agree w/ those people who said that sexuality is determined environmentally and not before birth. I don't really know how to explain it, but I know that my opinion is true because I know some people who were straight before but when they were w/ people who were gay, a few years later, WHAM! They're now one of the gayherd.
Since you claimed that it's environmentally determined, then could you tell me what's the general social norms in your host society regarding homosexuals is like? In other words, have you consider that those who claimed to be heterosexuals were actually either themselves being bisexuals, or that they pretended to be heterosexual because there's a general sense of homophobia within their host society?
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Posted 8/1/11 , edited 8/1/11

DomFortress wrote:


_DaboinextdoorSed wrote:

~I have to say, I agree w/ those people who said that sexuality is determined environmentally and not before birth. I don't really know how to explain it, but I know that my opinion is true because I know some people who were straight before but when they were w/ people who were gay, a few years later, WHAM! They're now one of the gayherd.
Since you claimed that it's environmentally determined, then could you tell me what's the general social norms in your host society regarding homosexuals is like? In other words, have you consider that those who claimed to be heterosexuals were actually either themselves being bisexuals, or that they pretended to be heterosexual because there's a general sense of homophobia within their host society?


~I guess what you asked me is possible because a lot of homosexuals are despised in my place. Well, all I'm saying is, I firmly believe that our environment plays a very important role in determining our sexualities.I especially believe that people near us most of the time play a vital role in influencing us and helping us choose what we want to be,whether we be straight,homo or bisexuals. It depends on the people we see, talk to, and the things they do that make us choose our sexualities. I don't believe that some kids become gay or lesbian before they are born, though the theory of sexuality being determined before birth also interests me. I actually know of a story where a married man working overseas found out that his wife was cheating on him, and he tried to commit suicide by jumping off his apartment. Luckily, his best friend, who turns out to be gay, found him before it's too late. Then when he was in the midst of recovering, the man's best friend took really good care of him.After all that has happened, the man left his wife for his best friend and they're now a couple. See how the existence of one man and the actions he had done influenced his friend(now his lover) to become a homo.
Posted 8/1/11

_DaboinextdoorSed wrote:



~I guess what you asked me is possible because a lot of homosexuals are despised in my place. Well, all I'm saying is, I firmly believe that our environment plays a very important role in determining our sexualities.I especially believe that people near us most of the time play a vital role in influencing us and helping us choose what we want to be,whether we be straight,homo or bisexuals. It depends on the people we see, talk to, and the things they do that make us choose our sexualities. I don't believe that some kids become gay or lesbian before they are born, though the theory of sexuality being determined before birth also interests me. I actually know of a story where a married man working overseas found out that his wife was cheating on him, and he tried to commit suicide by jumping off his apartment. Luckily, his best friend, who turns out to be gay, found him before it's too late. Then when he was in the midst of recovering, the man's best friend took really good care of him.After all that has happened, the man left his wife for his best friend and they're now a couple. See how the existence of one man and the actions he had done influenced his friend(now his lover) to become a homo.
That could be the result of social epigenetic effecting the DNA expression on RNA. But you need to have proofs of such mechanism at work, using quantitative and qualitative data for comparisons. Not mere belief based on stories alone.

Case in point, you'll need to read through the academic findings on the ethical studies of Conversion Therapy, before you based you opinion about human sexual orientation on mere anecdotal reports. Otherwise, you'll ended up cause unnecessary harms and sufferings on individuals, due to your own false-positive superstition.
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Posted 8/1/11

DomFortress wrote:


_DaboinextdoorSed wrote:



~I guess what you asked me is possible because a lot of homosexuals are despised in my place. Well, all I'm saying is, I firmly believe that our environment plays a very important role in determining our sexualities.I especially believe that people near us most of the time play a vital role in influencing us and helping us choose what we want to be,whether we be straight,homo or bisexuals. It depends on the people we see, talk to, and the things they do that make us choose our sexualities. I don't believe that some kids become gay or lesbian before they are born, though the theory of sexuality being determined before birth also interests me. I actually know of a story where a married man working overseas found out that his wife was cheating on him, and he tried to commit suicide by jumping off his apartment. Luckily, his best friend, who turns out to be gay, found him before it's too late. Then when he was in the midst of recovering, the man's best friend took really good care of him.After all that has happened, the man left his wife for his best friend and they're now a couple. See how the existence of one man and the actions he had done influenced his friend(now his lover) to become a homo.
That could be the result of social epigenetic effecting the DNA expression on RNA. But you need to have proofs of such mechanism at work, using quantitative and qualitative data for comparisons. Not mere belief based on stories alone.

Case in point, you'll need to read through the academic findings on the ethical studies of Conversion Therapy, before you based you opinion about human sexual orientation on mere anecdotal reports. Otherwise, you'll ended up cause unnecessary harms and sufferings on individuals, due to your own false-positive superstition.


~I'll keep that in mind.
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