You are not the only one... hurting.
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25 / Australia.
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Posted 3/5/11
You are not the only one... hurting

I cannot believe… I’m actually doing this! That, idiot psyche me in…. Black mailing me just to get what he wants; will not going to do him any good…. So far, it’s only 3:10 pm I still have 20 minutes to spy around before--- ”Yikes! He was here already!?”

April froze, instinctively; as soon as, she saw him staring down her way… with her heart skipped a beat just then… she remembered something… “Shinji has no idea what I looked like, just yet. He he he.”

Sure enough, Shinji took his eyes off her and refocused on the pocket book that he was currently reading to kill some time. “Judging from the empty cup of coffee next to the one he was sipping slowly… he must have been here before 3:00 pm,” I thought to myself.

April scanned the area for an appropriate place to spy without being spotted: a trendy Al Fresco coffee shop, aptly located on a scenic tourist lane with an eccentric looking bookshop across the road and a souvenir shop right around the corner…. With a fresh idea in her head, April walked casually into the bookshop.

“Good thinking, April!” I proudly thought to myself, “This is just the right vantage point….. Perfect!”

“Looking at him… leisurely reading that little pocket book with a peaceful expression on his face… I can’t believe this is the same guy, who black mailed me into coming here, leaving my very own comfort zone…, just to satisfy his own curiosity,” I thought; he was just a jerk back then, but now… my goodness; I think, he’s adorable!

Holding into that happy thought, April gathered all her courage, and with a deep breath, she decided… It’s time to face the music, with her heart beating unusually fast…. And a lump in her throat, she practiced, her introduction speech for the last time:

“Hi, Shinji kun, I’m April.”

“Gees! I forgot to tell him; that my real name is April…. Well, I guess it doesn’t matter as long as I know his name. My god! I’m so nervous, what Am I suppose to do, now? I want to go home!!” *Sigh*

Just as when she was about to step out of the bookshop… A girl approached Shinji’s table with a friendly smile and a polite gesture, he offered her a seat.

My heart that was about to burst a moment ago: seemed to have stopped beating out of shock! As I retreat back into the safe vantage point of the bookshop window.

While, nursing my aching heart; with my hands on top of my chest... I watched them enjoy each other’s company, in blissful happiness… That could have been mine….

So, this is what it feels like to lose someone: holding back my tears, I could almost hear my heart breaking into tiny little pieces, as they walked out; hand in hand away from my sight.

Meanwhile….

I returned back home safely without knowing how, hiding my broken heart behind a sweet innocent smile, I carried on living, as usual.

Days passed by… like eternity of loneliness and regret.

Until that very day: when I received an E-mail saying, “Di lang ikaw… Ang nahihirapan, hanggang ngayon… Mahal pa rin kita….”
It was then, when all the tears that I was holding back trickle down my cheeks… out of sheer joy!

[End]
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19 / F / siquijor,philippines
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Posted 3/19/11
i really like it...
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Posted 3/20/11
Dearest Sakura chan,

I'm over the moon to hear that you liked this story. *Smiles*

It was one of those special request from a friend. She really loved the song, "Di lang ikaw..." I listened to this song probably more than a hundred times, it was very sad... And, honestly, I was crying when I wrote the story.

The story is not exactly the same as the song, but the desperate and regretful feeling... that I felt while I was writting the story were there... as well, as the feeling of relief... knowing that the person she loves, really do love her in the end. *Smiles*

My inspiration derived from my friends, to be able to make them smile and share the feelings that embedded within the story, as they read it; is my greatest joy.

(Yep, I'm easy please... type of guy. *Smiles*)
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