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Funny things you've heard from your friends/teachers say outloud?
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22 / F
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Posted 4/12/11
Today my economics teacher was trying to separate the boys in my class so we can take an economic test.

He said, "Keizac, cut that umbilical cord from William and move over here."
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69 / M / Limbo
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Posted 4/12/11
My P.E. teacher in high school called this kid a "cunt nugget"


Hahaha
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24 / F
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Posted 4/12/11
Everything in my Chinese class.
Once we were learning how to ask the price of things, and one kid accidentally made it sound like he was asking the price of the teacher. She explained not to do that because it makes the person sound like a prostitute. Ten minutes later that kid had turned into a cheap prostitute, and he said, "At least I'm cheap."
Also, one time we somehow got on the topic of purple poop on a stick. . . ? Or something along those lines. I'm not really sure, and I'd probably rather not know.
So many interesting conversations in that class.
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27 / M
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Posted 4/13/11
sociology professor imitating a mother and small child.

mother - put your jacket on
child - why
mother - because its cold
child - why
mother - because god made it that way, now put your fucking jacket on
child - why
mother - PUT YOUR FUCKING JACKET ON DAMNIT!
Posted 4/13/11
Mother: Idk...
Me: I wish you'd stop saying that.
Mother: Why?
Me: You aren't decaying, you're close to it but you aren't there yet.


It was a misunderstanding, I thought my mother was saying "I decay" instead of "IDK".
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27 / M / Phatuum Thani, Th...
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Posted 4/13/11
My Japanese teacher in Okinawa...

"Hello, my name is (mrs so and so) I am 38, I do not have any children, but my husband and I try every night."

Posted 4/13/11 , edited 4/13/11
Over heard a teacher talking to another teacher talking about my friend, "HA!! yeah i fucked that girl". Funny thing is, we were in pre school
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M / Germany
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Posted 4/13/11

Your_Typical_Friend wrote:

Over heard a teacher talking to another teacher talking about my friend, "HA!! yeah i fucked that girl". Funny thing is, we were in pre school


dude...
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26 / F / UK
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Posted 4/15/11
We have the "stop smoking" brigade of nonces come in, and my history teacher (who was also our year tutor) said to us at the end of the assembly "Don't worry kids, if you stop when you're thirty you'll be fine" but just after realising what he'd just said he then tripped over his words and said: "But-eerr-don't start kids!".
Posted 4/15/11
me and friend (guy) sat in class at school next to each other, he's on a laptop im sat with pen and paper

me: *playfully annoying friend*

him: "if you do that one more time im gonna ram you so hard...."

*pauses for a second, regretting that he started*

him: "off of that chair in a min!" *hoping that nobody noticed*

me: "i am so glad you finished that sentence"

everyone else on the table: *agrees*

Posted 4/15/11
We were in Slaters (a clothes shop which just loves its mirrored walls everywhere)

Friend: Oh hey look I know that girl from college....

Me: Where is she? *looks around*

Friend: There! Oh....*on the floor laughing*

Me: What is it? Haha

Friend: *unable to breathe laughing* It was my reflection....

*joins her on the floor laughing*


Posted 4/17/11
the last time i remember my friend told me.
"Do you think english is easy?"
i replied" Yeah why?"
she replied again "If it is, then answer Yes or No"



"Oh _._.!! I am a MONKEY!! AHAHAHAHAH! that made me split my sides!
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27 / M / down the hall on...
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Posted 4/17/11
I had a government teacher way back in high school that couldn't stop saying 'kay' after everything he said, I counted once and throughout the course of an hour he said it 182 times, it was a bit of a running gag in my school too because the year he left for greener pastures his quote in the year book was just "k"
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23 / F / London Below
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Posted 4/17/11 , edited 5/8/11
Basically, half the things my English teacher says are funny. She's got an awesome sense of humor and makes class (and even taking notes) enjoyable, particularly, when she's messin' with this one kid (who's pretty funny himself.)

A week ago, I went in to her room during lunch (I really don't like the cafetria, so she lets me stay with her as long as I'm quiet (I usually just write.)) and she was getting tired of end-of-the-year field trip forms. So, when she left to run an errand, she turned to me and said, "If anyone comes in here with a permission slip, tell them I said 'bite me.'" I then spent the rest of the period waiting for someone to some to come in so that I could tell them so.

Then, two days ago, she looks through her planning book and asks herself if she has anything planned. She didn't, so she pondered about getting her nails done (Something I would have never guesses she liked) and explained how in the summer their done every week but only get done two times during the school year. Then, she tells me, "See what school does to me? It makes my nails look like crap."
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21 / F / Honeydukes
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Posted 4/17/11
my friends said their science teacher was talking about desexing animals and how he got desexed and his balls turned blue?

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