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Anti jokes and non jokes
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22 / M / Canada
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Posted 5/18/11
What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer?

We are both lawyers.
Posted 5/18/11
Why did Caesar get stabbed by his old friend Brutus?

Because Brutus was a very sharp guy!
17562 cr points
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19 / F / Los Angeles
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Posted 5/18/11 , edited 5/18/11
Hahahaha i can't believe I'm laughing at most of these xD

let's see...

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

No one.
58498 cr points
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24 / M / Canada
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Posted 5/18/11
Why did the Giraffe cross the road?

Because there was another sexy Giraffe on the other side.
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M / Nowheresville, MI
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Posted 5/18/11
A woman became fond of singing. She decided to join the church's music group. She liked it so much that she kept practicing frequently, in bathroom, before going to bed, just after waking up, cooking, suddenly during TV show, breakfast table and anywhere. After a while every time she sang, her husband would get up and go out on the porch pretending to do some work.

The wife felt hurt and angrily asked, "What's the matter? Don't you like my singing, dear?"

The husband replied, "Oh honey, I love your singing, but I just want to make sure the neighbors see that I'm not beating you."




5193 cr points
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27 / F
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Posted 5/18/11 , edited 5/18/11
An Irishman walks out of a bar.

Your mom is so ugly that she often finds it difficult attracting members of the opposite sex.
Posted 5/18/11
What's red and smells like blue paint?
-Red paint
53679 cr points
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M / Canada
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Posted 5/18/11
A dyslexic walks into a bra

Why did he drop his bag? Because he got hit by a bus

An irishman walks out of a bar

what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? cancer

What's brown and sticky? A stick

What's worse than finding your lunchbox missing? Getting raped by a giant scorpion

What's a vampire's favorite dessert? vampires don't exist.

If life throws you melons, you might be dyslexic

What do you call a man with a shovel in his head? An ambulance

A seal walks into a club

how much cocaine did charlie sheen do? rick james bitch
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23 / M / New Jersey, U.S.A.
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Posted 5/18/11
That last one killed me Good job
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23 / M / New Jersey, U.S.A.
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Posted 5/18/11
Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a rapist.

What do you call a guy with no arms or legs on your door step? Mat
in the ocean? Bob
in a pile of leaves? Russel
hanging on your wall? Thats sick you bastard take him down.

Whats black and hangs in my backyard? Blackberries, what were you thinking?
5193 cr points
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27 / F
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Posted 5/18/11

Lemonii wrote:

A dyslexic walks into a bra

Why did he drop his bag? Because he got hit by a bus

An irishman walks out of a bar

what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? cancer

What's brown and sticky? A stick

What's worse than finding your lunchbox missing? Getting raped by a giant scorpion

What's a vampire's favorite dessert? vampires don't exist.

If life throws you melons, you might be dyslexic

What do you call a man with a shovel in his head? An ambulance

A seal walks into a club

how much cocaine did charlie sheen do? rick james bitch




The stick one is more of a joke and less of an anti joke. This is a proper anti joke: What's brown and sticky? Molasses.
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M / Canada
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Posted 5/18/11

sweetReaper wrote:

The stick one is more of a joke and less of an anti joke. This is a proper anti joke: What's brown and sticky? Molasses.


excuse you? it doesn't need correcting because you don't get it, it's certainly not a proper joke as the real joke is a dirty one
5193 cr points
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27 / F
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Posted 5/18/11

Lemonii wrote:


sweetReaper wrote:

The stick one is more of a joke and less of an anti joke. This is a proper anti joke: What's brown and sticky? Molasses.


excuse you? it doesn't need correcting because you don't get it, it's certainly not a proper joke as the real joke is a dirty one




I got it alight... I was quoting a certain comedian to see if anybody got it. This comedian brought up said joke and made the comment I posted. No need to get all serious in a joke thread (though as it is an anti and non joke thread it makes this situation pretty humorous)
53679 cr points
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M / Canada
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Posted 5/19/11

sweetReaper wrote:

I got it alight... I was quoting a certain comedian to see if anybody got it. This comedian brought up said joke and made the comment I posted. No need to get all serious in a joke thread (though as it is an anti and non joke thread it makes this situation pretty humorous)



I call shenanigans;
video prove it, but I'm game, prove me wrong, I'll give you a gift
Posted 5/19/11
The dyslexic demon worshipper sold his soul to santa.
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