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Anti jokes and non jokes
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(´◔౪◔)✂❤
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Posted 6/30/11
what do you call men that speak English? English men
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M / Inside My Head
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Posted 7/1/11 , edited 7/1/11
How did the sick boy survive? He didn't

What did the paralyzed boy get for Christmas? A bicycle
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24 / M / Wales
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Posted 7/1/11 , edited 7/1/11
What's worse than cancer? Being Nick Clegg

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it got hit by a bus.

A man went into a bar. The collision broke his arm and both his legs.
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25 / M / Texas, USA
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Posted 7/1/11
I heard you wanted to be like Batman. Halloween isn't too far away.

Pete and Repeat were on a boat. Pete fell off. Who was left? Pete's friend.
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25 / F / Europe~
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Posted 7/1/11
How do you drown a blond? Hold her under water for a few minutes...

why'd the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side...

why did the tomato turn red? It ripened...

Why don't skeletons fight each other? because they're dead...

yo momma's so fat, she might die from a heart attack one day...
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24
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Posted 7/1/11
what did the fish say when it swam into the wall

dam
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23 / M / New Jersey, U.S.A.
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Posted 7/1/11
Good jokes guys lets keep it going : )
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23 / M / New Jersey, U.S.A.
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Posted 7/1/11
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
-Numbers are not sentient beings and therefore can not feel fear or other emotions
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M
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Posted 7/1/11
Knock, Knock.

Who's there?

Dave.

Dave who?

Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.
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19 / F / Los Angeles
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Posted 10/16/11
Knock Knock

Who's there?

Kim.

Kim who?

Oh sorry, I have the wrong house.
Posted 10/16/11 , edited 10/16/11
The Aristocrats comes to mind.

Oh yeah, and when I was in the maternity hospital waiting for my BP to drop (no luck, had to be induced), I asked my husband to tell me a funny joke, to help me out with that.

So he said "A guy walks into a bar. Ow!"

I blinked and said "Man, you suck, that's really lame." Yet I still laughed.
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20 / M / Stoke, England
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Posted 10/16/11
Oh God, these are so fucking hilarious. I've been loling for a few minutes now.
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24 / M / 風の山
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Posted 10/16/11
some people don't get the anti joke and non jokes.

anti (using the same setting as a joke and provides horrid results)
knock knock
who's there?
Mrs. M you son just got ran over by a truck

non (a one liner that feels like it should be a joke but makes you go wtf)

A guy I know is so stupid, he won't wear socks on a Tuesday.
Posted 10/16/11
Watch out, Crunchyroll Troll girls can't take jokes! XD.

Here's my joke!


You turn my floppy disc into a hard drive.


It's funnier whenever a computer filled with porn says it....
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20 / M / Stoke, England
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Posted 10/16/11 , edited 10/17/11
What's Green, red and blue, with yellow stripes and pink spots? Nothing.

There's an Englishman, a Russian, a Scotsman and an unemployed Muslim in a car. The Scotsman throws out a bottle of whiskey and says: "There's plenty more of that where I live!" The Russian throws out a bottle of vodka and says: "There's plenty more of that where I live!" The Englishman throws out the unemployed Muslim and says: "I don't like that guy."

Why did the boy die of starvation? Because somebody shit in his lunch box.

A priest and a rabbi are on a playground. The rabbi says to the priest: "hey, let's fuck those kids."

Five men are walking through town. One Mexican, one Jew, one Nazi, one white american, and one Black american. The white American says to the Mexican: "What time is it?" The Mexican replies by telling him what the time is. The White american thanks his friend, and they continue their stroll downtown.
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