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The Last Gentlemen
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21 / M / Boston
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Posted 6/7/07

ahojcookie wrote:

^No, actually we're not talking about romantic dates only here. Just gentlemen etiquette in general. Sorry, if I confused you though, I meant do guys really expect a girl will keep on dating them only, because she accepted that he pays the bill?


I don't. If it was that easy I'd just insist on paying all the time. Guaranteed relationship!
Posted 6/7/07
Hopchow, the only gaurantee you'll get is that the girl will be a gold digger.

Anyways, ahojocookie, I still don't think a guy should be paying for everything. I definitely do not let my guy friends pay for my bill unless they're taking me out to celebrate my birthday or some special event.

Other than that the only other time I let them pay is when we're buying rounds of drinks. Even then, I'm still buying a round so it's all fair and square.
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30 / M / Japan
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Posted 6/7/07

ahojcookie wrote:
What do you guys think? Not just about paying, I'm talking about the whole catalogue of gentlemen etiquette. Like being protective, seeing you home, holding the doors open, opening beer bottles for you, letting you choose the movie etc., etc.


I think it's just proper for men to show manners. Holding the door open and doing stuff for them is the least men can do, because most of the time, men fumble around on the first date. Most guys find it damaging to the ego when they appear like they don't know what they're doing, so they stick to basic etiquette, because it's the LEAST they can do.

As with "deciding" things, that's a different story. I don't think the guy should ask the girl what she wants, but should make it seem like he's not just a dummy who makes her pick what she wants because he wants to give her a good time. I think the girl, as much as possible, would like a man who is in control of the situation - which is why most girls are really good at manipulating unwary men that don't know or aren't even aware of the situation they are in.

I think girls find it cool in a guy who can name a store they could visit, or a restraunt they should try, or a movie they should watch. That's beecause women see dates as an adventure, while men see it as an accomplishment. So for me, these things are on a case to case basis.

Etiquette is etiquette, but how the man makes the girl feel is the real point in this issue. The last thing I want to do is control the girl, lest make her feel like she's being prettied up.
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21 / M / Boston
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Posted 6/7/07

xidiya wrote:

Hopchow, the only gaurantee you'll get is that the girl will be a gold digger.

Anyways, ahojocookie, I still don't think a guy should be paying for everything. I definitely do not let my guy friends pay for my bill unless they're taking me out to celebrate my birthday or some special event.

Other than that the only other time I let them pay is when we're buying rounds of drinks. Even then, I'm still buying a round so it's all fair and square.


Gold diggers are people too! Shallow people who will sell their souls for the right price.
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31 / M / Washington
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Posted 6/7/07
the trick is to enslave them wehn they arent paying attention to you


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29 / M / vegass
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Posted 6/7/07
i pay the bill. i dont make a big deal out of it. i do it even when its not a date, with any girl, friend or date. its just i dont know..i feel like its courtesy. but dont be showy about it. just do it.
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31 / Ronald McDonald's...
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Posted 6/7/07

xidiya wrote:

Hopchow, the only gaurantee you'll get is that the girl will be a gold digger.

Anyways, ahojocookie, I still don't think a guy should be paying for everything. I definitely do not let my guy friends pay for my bill unless they're taking me out to celebrate my birthday or some special event.

Other than that the only other time I let them pay is when we're buying rounds of drinks. Even then, I'm still buying a round so it's all fair and square.


I haven't said guys should pay for everything I said I don't mind and they shouldn't expect any guaranties just by paying, because that'd be stupid.


edsamac wrote:


ahojcookie wrote:
What do you guys think? Not just about paying, I'm talking about the whole catalogue of gentlemen etiquette. Like being protective, seeing you home, holding the doors open, opening beer bottles for you, letting you choose the movie etc., etc.


I think it's just proper for men to show manners. Holding the door open and doing stuff for them is the least men can do, because most of the time, men fumble around on the first date. Most guys find it damaging to the ego when they appear like they don't know what they're doing, so they stick to basic etiquette, because it's the LEAST they can do.

As with "deciding" things, that's a different story. I don't think the guy should ask the girl what she wants, but should make it seem like he's not just a dummy who makes her pick what she wants because he wants to give her a good time. I think the girl, as much as possible, would like a man who is in control of the situation - which is why most girls are really good at manipulating unwary men that don't know or aren't even aware of the situation they are in.

I think girls find it cool in a guy who can name a store they could visit, or a restraunt they should try, or a movie they should watch. That's beecause women see dates as an adventure, while men see it as an accomplishment. So for me, these things are on a case to case basis.

Etiquette is etiquette, but how the man makes the girl feel is the real point in this issue. The last thing I want to do is control the girl, lest make her feel like she's being prettied up.


You're right about the decision thing, who ever makes the better suggestion should decide, but I meant that cliche, the guy wanted to watch Terminator 3, but ended up watching some drama, because he let the girl pick XD
Posted 6/7/07
I was just answering your question. I wasn't referring to you.
Posted 6/7/07
Well whatever works as long as someone pays the bill!
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29 / M / vegass
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Posted 6/7/07
^ i suppose. but i dont mind dramas.

as far as being a gentleman, it should never be limited to just dates. it should be for everything, for any woman. because if not, then youre just playing a role, acting. and nothing's worst than lying. on the first date. about how you really are.

some guys will act the right way at the first few times. sweep the girl off their feet. but then they never pick them up. they leave them there, confused, thinking "what did i ever see in this guy?"

good conduct is...good. but please, carry it through and live that way, not just on specific occasions.
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31 / Ronald McDonald's...
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Posted 6/7/07
^Yeah, it's a big issue if the lady/gentleman turns out to be a slut/asshole. But I was talking about real gentlemanism, not a first date show. But you always here those stories like "She doesn't even bother to wear something nice once in a while" or "He won't even take his shoes off for sex"
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29 / M / vegass
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Posted 6/7/07
wtf. i still dont understand the shoe thing. i dont think i ever will. and that still kind of bothers me though, when sometimes i say like "why cant you wear a dress sometimes?" and she'd say because they arent comfortable. -_- we arent together anymore, but still. itd be nice to have a girl that can be laid back and comfortable, but wears dress and heals sometimes. fix the hair and all that. if im willing to wear a tie on every date, least the girl can do is that deep red lip stick i find so hot. LOL.

i try and be a gentleman all the time, but its getting harder and harder to cater to the needs of so many people.
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31 / Ronald McDonald's...
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Posted 6/7/07
Eversince when are dresses uncomfortable? o_0 Yeah, I think it's nice too, if both try to dress nice at least every once in a while, it's more fun Oh and I'm surprised red lipstick is not worn by more women. Sooo many guys make comments about how they love the lipstick and yet they act all surprised like it's uncommoon.
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29 / M / vegass
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Posted 6/7/07
LOL. i know. its so gorgeous. and dresses omg im not even asking for a mini skirt. i want long evening dresses or simple summer dresses. bah. whats the world come to -_-
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Posted 6/7/07

ahojcookie wrote:

Eversince when are dresses uncomfortable? o_0 Yeah, I think it's nice too, if both try to dress nice at least every once in a while, it's more fun Oh and I'm surprised red lipstick is not worn by more women. Sooo many guys make comments about how they love the lipstick and yet they act all surprised like it's uncommoon.



i think red lipstick is so gross.btw what is it with girls and the color red?
they always act,like it is the most sinful,erotic color,ever!
i find red just trashy and ugly.
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