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Post Reply Why allow people to bully you around...
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Posted 7/22/13
Because I'm powerless to do anything, worthless, somehow deserve it, low self-esteem, it'll make it worse if I do something, it wont stop them, It wont stop them because of my _________ is the reason, or I don't care anymore.

I think that covers most reasons.
cenie 
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23 / M
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Posted 7/22/13
No, I was surprisingly accepted and left alone.
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F / New Jersey
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Posted 7/22/13
I hate bullies but what I hate most is people who get bullied and dont stick up for themselves. I have a very low tolerance for bullies or people who were bullied. That is just unacceptable! Stick up for yourselves no matter what because if you cant do it for your sake dont expect someone else to do for you either.
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17 / F / USA
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Posted 7/22/13
Do people actually still bully people.
I've never seen anyone get bullied and I've never been bullied.
And I was one of those fat chicks.
Hm.
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19 / F
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Posted 7/22/13
I don't think I've ever been bullied per say. I've been called names but I would never just take it. I would fight back. I don't take crap from people plus most people don't bother me because they know better.
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27 / F / Southern Oregon
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Posted 7/22/13
I had a few people who tried to bully me when I was younger, but I didn't allow them to. It was always a little puzzling to me when people would try because I didn't understand how they expected me to react to it. Well apparently I didn't react the way they were expecting because they usually backed off real quick, and usually developed some sort of respect for me. By the time I was in high school people stopped trying to bully me altogether and I was even told that I was, "Too nice," to bully. My fellow classmates even respected my decisions to not drink or do drugs and never tried to pressure me it to doing either. I wasn't popular by any stretch of the imagination but I was respected by everyone which I think is better in the long run, and may explain why people stopped trying to bully me when I got older.
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37 / M / California
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Posted 7/22/13
Bullying isn't something that you allow, it is something that is done to you. Like a violent crime of a rape. That may seem extreme, but there are alot of simularities between them.

Inside of every human being there is the desire to be cruel. Some more than others, but there is an innate desire in us all to be mean to someone when we know we can get away with it. Left over predator instinct from when we were a more savage spieces? Who knows?

When I was 4 years old, my mother and I lived with another single mom and her son named Travis. Travis used to bully me all the time. He was a few years older than me so he would shove me around and hit me alot. I had several black eyes and he even cracked 2 of my teeth by hit me with a wiffle bat. He would play with toys in front of me but not let me tough them, listen to records that I didn't have, and put my toys where I couldn't reach them and then laughed as I cried. At times he would deliberately play with the other kids in the neighborhood across the street because his mom would allow him to cross the street, but mine didn't. If I ran around the block to get to them he would cross the street again so I couldn't join in. Years later I found out that Travis was bullied by two older half-brothers much like he did to me and that he ended up in therapy for many years after.

I have found that many people bully others because thay themselves have been bullied and it is their way of trying to take back a sense of control from the helplessness they felt.

3rd - 7th grade was a particular bad time in my life. I was a small kid growing up, so much so that people didn't beleive me when I told them what grade I was in. The other kids made fun of me constantly in many different ways. The would make fun of the fact I didn't have a dad, I was poor, the way I dressed, my hair cut, the way my name sounded, the list goes on. In elementry school they particularly delighted in tormenting me until I ran away crying and then running me down so they could mock that I was crying. I had to start carrying all my pencils with me even at recess because the other kids would break them all while I was gone. I could shout and swing back all I wanted, but I was too small and all alone so there was nothing I could do about it. And they knew that too. Things got really dark for me because I started to beleive that things were my fault. What other explanation could there be for everyone to hate me so much. I was born too small, too poor, too awkward, too whatever so I must've deserved to be mocked. And the other kids were only too happy to reinforce that view. I had thought about killing myself several times by the time I had turned 10. Even a couple of my teachers had come to make fun of me as well. I remember a math teacher that had his own version of Jeopardy as a teaching tool who had made a catagory of "Dorks" and I was the answer to all of them.

Bullies don't think about the people they bully at all. Why? Because they don't really see them as human. They are objects for their amusement like a toy or an animal. When the amusement has ended, they shrug it off and forget about it. I know now that there was nothing I did that caused me to be teased, but rather I made a convienent target. You find that the best way to not get bullied is to bully someone else so thats how you can justify it because at least its not you. If anyone reading this ever wants to know how to become popular in School just make like everyone isn't important enough for you to care. Draw a small circle around yourself and make everyone else do their damndest to get in. Ones popularity is not gauged by the company you keep, but rather who you step on and mock.

The only reason I didn't end my life back then was my rage. I was so consumed by it that I refused to let them see that they had broken me. I struggled with that for many years and still do to this day. It was hard for me to make friends and to trust because I was so used to being bullied by everyone. I didn't know any other way for people to treat me. I always find it ironic that if minorities or women get treated like I was we wound call it a hate crime. But when it comes to tormenting our own they're just expected to get over it.

In closing I would like to share an observation I have found on the internet. The internet has given us the ability to communicate with more people and in many different ways and bullying has come along with it. I like to say that you can tell alot about a person by how they behave online. When they have annonimoty to hid behind, they will say the most hateful things. Not because they beleive in what they're saying, but because they can be an asshole and get away with it. Any that think I'm wrong about human beings having an innate desire to be cruel I support my claim by pointing out that once we become faceless we become who we really want to be. Anyone that has spent any time online in forums, games, or chats knows that there will always be people that will insult you and everything you stand for because they can and get away with it. What's even more sad is I really wish I wasn't right about that.
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15 / U.S.A
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Posted 7/22/13
What's my strategy for bullies? I TOLD YA, A FIST IN HIS FACE!

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404
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Posted 7/23/13
Cause I like it damnit.
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26 / M / Connecticut
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Posted 7/23/13
I've been bullied all throughout my childhood until i got to High School. I've always been a big kid (height and weight). I knew perfectly well that if I defended myself, the smaller one was always the victim. Someone who defends himself is always the bad guy for not turning the other cheek (despite repeated attempts to ask for adult assistance and getting ignored).
Living proof is when I was beaten up, buried in snow banks, constantly humiliated in front of others, never once seeing them receive any punishment. But the day I stood up for myself, I saw detention for 2 weeks, and a week suspension, then I was singled out by teachers as someone who couldn't be trusted to work with others.

Another point is, I know I'm perfectly well aware of my own strength, and what I'm capable of if I "cut loose". I don't want to hurt anyone, I refuse to stoop myself to the level of "bad guy".
I just.... dealt with it, I'm sorry to say.
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17 / M / U.S.
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Posted 7/23/13
^
His answer is quite a good reply. OP's attitude of "I can totally take them if I were in their spot! Stop being so weak!' is really irritating actually considering she has never experienced it and underestimates the mental/physical damage of bullying on the victim, whom she also seems to be pinning the blame on. The people who do try and stand up for themselves are often denied help from authorities like teachers, who sometimes makes the situation worse, and punished for defending themselves. A victim of bullying is made to feel completely powerless and simply telling them to "stand up for yourself, stop allowing them to harm you" without understanding their situation is one of the most vicious friendly advice you can give.
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20 / M / Ultimecia's kastle
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Posted 7/23/13

Tiff-Chan wrote:

I hate bullies but what I hate most is people who get bullied and dont stick up for themselves. I have a very low tolerance for bullies or people who were bullied. That is just unacceptable! Stick up for yourselves no matter what because if you cant do it for your sake dont expect someone else to do for you either.


True in a way. My entire class became made up out of bullies. It started with everyone being normal with their own personalities, but then this one guy and silently one girl scared everyone into bullies already at the start of the term. They should have stood up against it. Instead they all banded as bullies. Pfft! Well i and one other person did stand up against it, of course that made us the odd ones out. But hey, i have my self-respect left. Not my sanity nor trust in humans though. Still recovering.
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17 / M / U.S.
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Posted 7/23/13 , edited 7/23/13

Tiff-Chan wrote:

I hate bullies but what I hate most is people who get bullied and dont stick up for themselves. I have a very low tolerance for bullies or people who were bullied. That is just unacceptable! Stick up for yourselves no matter what because if you cant do it for your sake dont expect someone else to do for you either.


Wow, so on your scale, you have both bullies and their victims grouped together. I mean, the victims shouldn't have worn shorts if they didn't want to get attacked! If they just told bullies that they didn't like being hit, the bullies would have understood and stopped attacking/ harming their often random victim. Great stuff here guys.
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It doesn't matter.
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Posted 7/23/13
Gotta speak to them,
but even that's not always worth the effort,
I've had mosquito bites more annoying than some bullies I've had.

I also had some bullies that were probably (in retrospect) masochists because they kept coming back for more and I deliberately avoided knocking them because I thought it was fun.

I think I've had more bullies than friends.
My school friends were boring anyway.
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M / Hiding Under Your...
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Posted 7/23/13

When I was younger I got picked on a lot. It wasn't the bully I was scared of, but more so because I didn't want to get in trouble.
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