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Post Reply Why allow people to bully you around...
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Posted 7/23/13
If you give the bullies what they want, a reaction from you, it just amuses them and encourages them. Why give them that satisfaction? Besides, I try not to let it get to me. I've learned if you just stop giving a shit about other people besides you and your relationships, you'll enjoy life more.

But I swear to God, if you're mean to my friends, I'll eat you alive.
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23 / M / Iowa
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Posted 7/23/13
I used to be bullied when I was a kid. Being red headed with freckles, it was bound to happen. But I fought back and it didn't happen anymore. I was depressed for a while, but I learned early on, if you're alpha, no one messed with you. You just got to be charming, courageous and intelligent. Making people laugh helps a lot too.
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Posted 7/23/13
For clarification purposes, people who get bullied and do not stick up for themselves have no right to complain. Only when they did everything in their power to prevent or stop it should they be called a victim.
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Posted 7/23/13 , edited 7/23/13
All i know is that the peeps who bullied me in high school, now are all workin minimum wage and goin nowhere fast.
. While im doin more than well for myself. I see em around from time to time and they can't say nothin to me
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21 / M / Towcester
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Posted 7/23/13
It seems like a lot of people miss out something crucial.

Bullies generally don't pick on someone stronger than they are... It's sometimes not a viable option to "just beat up the bully". That's generally advice given by people who are just ignorant, or are/were a bully themselves.
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Posted 7/23/13

Tairuke wrote:

why allow someone to bully u?
is it that u are scared?
weak?
or dont know how to defend yourself?
or afraid if u defend yourself you will get in trouble by elders....

i personally will smack someone if they try to bully me around..i always have this attitude..if u are surrounded by people who want to bully you, and they all want to beat you up.. you take down one person who is from that group and you really beat that person good no matter what happening around you

i never experience bulling..


I'm shocked.

Bullies go for the kids who can't defend themselves. And screw you for suggesting they 'allow' it; if they had the ability to stop it, they bloody well would.
toxxin 
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Posted 7/23/13
cause I'm a masochist. but seriously people didnt approach me in a hostile manner because i always exuded malice in school. It must suck to be pushed around sometimes to the point of hopelessness and if i saw it id like to think i would lend a hand(or a fist).
Bavalt 
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Posted 7/23/13

HellaStrider wrote:

^
His answer is quite a good reply. OP's attitude of "I can totally take them if I were in their spot! Stop being so weak!' is really irritating actually considering she has never experienced it and underestimates the mental/physical damage of bullying on the victim, whom she also seems to be pinning the blame on. The people who do try and stand up for themselves are often denied help from authorities like teachers, who sometimes makes the situation worse, and punished for defending themselves. A victim of bullying is made to feel completely powerless and simply telling them to "stand up for yourself, stop allowing them to harm you" without understanding their situation is one of the most vicious friendly advice you can give.


This.

The 'blame the victim' mentality is something we need to remove from our culture. The one at fault is always the aggressor, and expecting the victim to miraculously attain the means to end it is worse than ignoring the problem.
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17 / M / U.S.
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Posted 7/23/13 , edited 7/23/13

Tiff-Chan wrote:

For clarification purposes, people who get bullied and do not stick up for themselves have no right to complain. Only when they did everything in their power to prevent or stop it should they be called a victim.


For further clarification purposes, I am a person who probably has never been bullied in my life but I get to define what qualifications are necessary for one to claim they are a victim of bullying.
I think someone who has done nothing to earn the abuse they are given has every right to complain, even if they have the ability to defend themselves or not. Often the people who are targeted have some sort of disadvantage that places them in a situation where they have no family/friends to back them up or escape from the situation that isn't harmful for them. Who wants to be continuously bullied? It's ridiculous that you think they have the ability to save themselves but they just don't feel like trying it. They've most likely thought it through and realized there is no way out. I don't care if you mean that sometimes people are too passive for their own good; shut the fuck up about how they don't deserve to be helped/comforted.
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Posted 7/23/13

Bavalt wrote:


HellaStrider wrote:

^
His answer is quite a good reply. OP's attitude of "I can totally take them if I were in their spot! Stop being so weak!' is really irritating actually considering she has never experienced it and underestimates the mental/physical damage of bullying on the victim, whom she also seems to be pinning the blame on. The people who do try and stand up for themselves are often denied help from authorities like teachers, who sometimes makes the situation worse, and punished for defending themselves. A victim of bullying is made to feel completely powerless and simply telling them to "stand up for yourself, stop allowing them to harm you" without understanding their situation is one of the most vicious friendly advice you can give.


This.

The 'blame the victim' mentality is something we need to remove from our culture. The one at fault is always the aggressor, and expecting the victim to miraculously attain the means to end it is worse than ignoring the problem.


I blame Chuck Norris worship. It's lead to the paradoxical idea that everybody should be Chuck Norris, even though nobody can be Chuck Norris.

(Not even Chuck Norris.)
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F / New Jersey
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Posted 7/23/13
Last time I checked this was my opinion on the matter. You have every right to define what qualifications are necessary for one to claim if they are a victim of bullying because that is your opinion. But the issue of the matter is when you start attacking me and have the audacity to tell me to "shut the fuck up". First of all, who the f*** are you to tell me what I think is ridiculous. Second of all, I never said that people have the ability to save themselves but they just dont feel like trying. I never said that. I said they should do everything in their power to prevent it or stop it. Obviously if they are at a lose/lose situation that cant be helped. All I am saying is that they should atleast try. Personally I do not give a damn what you think, but I thought I owed it to you to further clarify my statement. For a person who has never been bullied don't talk like you know or dont talk like you think you know what might have been the problem that caused them bullying. Lastly, do not jump to conclusion. What I hate most is when people jump to conclusion about what they thought they interpreted correctly. What I said can be interpreted in many ways so dont be so quick to attack or get all offensive of what I said. People all have different views of how they see and interpret bullying so grow up little boy!
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Posted 7/23/13 , edited 7/23/13

Tiff-Chan wrote:

Last time I checked this was my opinion on the matter. You have every right to define what qualifications are necessary for one to claim if they are a victim of bullying because that is your opinion. But the issue of the matter is when you start attacking me and have the audacity to tell me to "shut the fuck up". First of all, who the f*** are you to tell me what I think is ridiculous. Second of all, I never said that people have the ability to save themselves but they just dont feel like trying. I never said that. I said they should do everything in their power to prevent it or stop it. Obviously if they are at a lose/lose situation that cant be helped. All I am saying is that they should atleast try. Personally I do not give a damn what you think, but I thought I owed it to you to further clarify my statement. For a person who has never been bullied don't talk like you know or dont talk like you think you know what might have been the problem that caused them bullying. Lastly, do not jump to conclusion. What I hate most is when people jump to conclusion about what they thought they interpreted correctly. What I said can be interpreted in many ways so dont be so quick to attack or get all offensive of what I said. People all have different views of how they see and interpret bullying so grow up little boy!


Holy shit, it appears you have no concept of what sarcasm is nor the purpose of posting your opinions on a public thread. I think I am a person who has greater concept of the harms of victim-shaming than you and thus I chose to respond to your post that completely supports it. I'm asking you to think why anyone who does have the ability or even thinks they might to get out of their situation would not because that's the only condition you put forth on how one could not be considered a victim or worthy of being heard, which is pretty bs to begin with. I think there's one interpretation -- that you think there is any reason a victim could have brought forth their own misery and deserve to stay there for whatever reason.
" What I hate most is when people jump to conclusion about what they thought they interpreted correctly."
I am laughing so hard right now, so goddamned ironic.
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Posted 7/23/13
I guess it is ironic hahaha!
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Posted 7/23/13
Based on genetics, they are bigger than me.
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21 / M / Texas
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Posted 7/23/13
I don't, I kick them in the face. In my mind at least. Bullies are just weak pathetic individuals who have no other reason to put you down other than to feel better about themselves and most of the time just really need a friend, but the most you can do is just smile and show that it doesn't affect you.
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