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Post Reply Why allow people to bully you around...
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27 / F / England
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Posted 7/24/13
I don't like confrontation is the short answer and I would rather not deal with anyone's negative emotions. I seem to take things personally and I already have low self esteem, so I would prefer not to have their anger projected at me.
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F / West
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Posted 7/24/13
I wouldn't allow it intentionally, but I am not one to get into a physical fight over it if someone does attempt to bully me.
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18 / M
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Posted 7/24/13
I ve always fought anyone who's tried to bully me. I can take an odd bit of name calling but if its constant abuse I've always fought them no matter how many there are or big they are I've won most and lost a few these fights but its about showing that you are standing up for your self and that you want put up with abuse
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Posted 7/24/13

Tairuke wrote:

why allow someone to bully u?
is it that u are scared?
weak?
or dont know how to defend yourself?
or afraid if u defend yourself you will get in trouble by elders....

i personally will smack someone if they try to bully me around..i always have this attitude..if u are surrounded by people who want to bully you, and they all want to beat you up.. you take down one person who is from that group and you really beat that person good no matter what happening around you

i never experience bulling..but i know some people who did
so be free to discuss...


How is life in fantasy land? You're talking about a topic which is a serious issue in society and you sum it up by using an example of a schoolyard bully?

Immature children shouldn't start topics when they're so ignorant to how serious the truth actually is.
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F / fairy tail
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Posted 7/24/13
cause I look like this ..?

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23 / F / New Jersey, USA
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Posted 11/23/13
I'm a people pleaser/too nice. Every time I try to stand up for myself I end up feeling bad for doing so and have no right to. It's something that I've always dealt with which is getting yelled at because I get intimidated easily yet try to hide it. I really can't handle getting yelled at by anyone including family. I can't get mad at others because I'll feel bad for getting mad when I deserve to. I strongly dislike(mainly hate)arguing or even friendly debates because getting that weird feeling inside isn't normal for me...at all. I feel awkward just thinking about it. It's stupid I know but I've always felt this way.

I have low self esteem...badly.
I do try to be tough at times yet I feel it's not worth it for me. I rarely get bullied though.
I don't think bullies only bull people for being bullied themselves. I think some of it is mainly people with true high self esteem having sadistic tendencies.

I'll get over it in due time...hopefully.
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18 / M / On the Court
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Posted 11/23/13
They wouldn't have time to bully me, because a fist would already be in they face.
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22 / F / Johnstown, PA, USA
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Posted 11/24/13 , edited 11/24/13
It depends on the bully. Some of them aren't actually much of a threat, so I'm less aggressive/defensive towards them and brush them off. The more aggressive and dangerous the bully, the more aggressive I retaliate... Unless the situation is truly life-threatening. In that case, it depends on the circumstances. Also, if the bullies choose to try and drag my family/friends into the mess (i.e., bullying them, and possibly to a criminal extent), I'll pretty much consider it down-right war and may even call the cops on their asses.

Fortunately, I'm good at intimidating people without actually harming them ("death glare", "growling" my words, etc...), so I'm often able to cause them to back off and avoid unnecessary physical confrontations. I occasionally try to find some common ground between the bullies and I, which helps establish some peace. A few times in the past, I've even manage to befriend a few, albeit to a certain extent. Respect can go a long way.
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25 / M / Under fire
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Posted 11/24/13 , edited 11/24/13
So this is an interesting topic for me because I'm one of those types that was changed by bullying. As in, I incurred bullying early on when I was younger (when everyone gets bullied), but as a result of it I became very assertive-aggressive towards bullying attitudes. If I got bullied I would instantly call it out, it wouldn't matter to me if it was in a public setting or in the middle of a class, I would call them out and ask them what their problem was, and I'd do it in a way that made it embarrassing for them. I would never let people bully me, if it was happening in any shape or form, I was going to do something about it, either verbally or otherwise.

This didn't necessarily help in the long-term per se, but it sure felt good to lash out verbally, it was just my way of dealing with it I guess. I had a few fistie-cuff experiences outside of school as a result but I was never hurt. Just...wrestled really.

Now a days, as an adult, I'm highly sensitive to immaturity of that nature. If I notice "adult bullying" it pisses me off, to the point where I've outright shoved people and told them to clam it, not even having anything to do with me. I just find that sort of thing so emotionally destructive to the targets and it should be halted as quickly as possible, as a person who knew what it felt like to be bullied, and not everyone is strong enough to deal with it like I or others have done. Adult bullying comes in the form of subtle laughing at what you do and things of that nature...I just hate it. I will come out and say "What's so damn funny?".
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20 / M / Eorzea
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Posted 11/24/13
Short answer: Afraid to get in trouble by elders and authorities.
School and bullying has severely reversed my personality. Basically, self-defense was not allowed. Helping others in need (being bullied) was not allowed. And it was the elders that gave the bullies space to abuse normal students.

Well, at least i'm normal, trusting and kind on the internet... Cause people usually are normal here. Also, Cyberbullying is usually a local thing. It's people irl using internet to further their bullying. So i'm not afraid of that on forums like these.
And i don't have to put on so much effort on pretend-smiles and cheerfulness here as i have to irl. Unless i'm on Skype perhaps. :3
(And btw i have so few posts cause i had to switch account. I'm a veteran here! :p)
Seeya around.
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M / Tamriel
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Posted 11/24/13
When I was younger, I never fought back.
My school actually had this "If you fight back in a fight, you are just as bad as the one who instigated it and will get suspended!"
I had this massive ego thing where I would not get suspended, detention or anything. Some goody-two-shoes thing.
Anyways, later I realized how stupid that rule.
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18 / F / Balmer, Murlin
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Posted 11/24/13

qualeshia3 wrote:

I'm a people pleaser/too nice. Every time I try to stand up for myself I end up feeling bad for doing so and have no right to. It's something that I've always dealt with which is getting yelled at because I get intimidated easily yet try to hide it. I really can't handle getting yelled at by anyone including family. I can't get mad at others because I'll feel bad for getting mad when I deserve to. I strongly dislike(mainly hate)arguing or even friendly debates because getting that weird feeling inside isn't normal for me...at all. I feel awkward just thinking about it. It's stupid I know but I've always felt this way.

I have low self esteem...badly.
I do try to be tough at times yet I feel it's not worth it for me. I rarely get bullied though.
I don't think bullies only bull people for being bullied themselves. I think some of it is mainly people with true high self esteem having sadistic tendencies.

I'll get over it in due time...hopefully.


I am the same way.

I hate hate hate confrontations. Asserting myself is not my strong point. I always give everyone around me the benefit of the doubt and feel that I have no right to stand up to someone or even disagree with them. It's a very bad trait of mine. I'm trying to change but it's extremely difficult. Sometimes, when I try to speak out against something, my heart will start racing and I'll start shaking. It feels abnormal. My default setting is to juts go with the flow and try to make everyone happy. Even if it's at my own expense.

Strange thing is, I am almost the total opposite with my family. I act like a smartass around them and am never afraid to get into arguments with them, though I refrain from doing so most of the time because I know nothing good will come of it. I think it's because I feel more comfortable with them. I trust them. I don't fully trust many other people.

I think the start of this bad habit was middle school. A lot of my childhood friends turned on me, and the new "friends" I tried to make only kept me around as someone to poke fun at. I just started to accept that I was "lesser than" other people. That, coupled with the fact that I've always been a bit clingy and am afraid that people will leave me if I don't always agree with them.
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Posted 11/24/13
There is a good chance that if I assert my self or "confront them" it would lead to a physical altercation (where I would most likely end up strangling the person). Which is why I retreat into the back of my head, turn on my BS filter, and just let them roll by like an oncoming or incoming storm. Really it's just not worth the stress and effort.
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23 / F / New Jersey, USA
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Posted 11/24/13



*cries happily* I'M HAPPY TO FIND A PERSON WITH A SIMILAR PROBLEM!!!





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18 / F / Balmer, Murlin
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Posted 11/24/13

qualeshia3 wrote:




*cries happily* I'M HAPPY TO FIND A PERSON WITH A SIMILAR PROBLEM!!!







Glad to help.
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