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how do you comfort a friend?
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Posted 5/28/11
im having trouble comforting a friend..Im an introvert and naturally, i suggested counseling, psychotherapy and loads of reflections and meditations. Another friend of her, offered free counseling. But my friend felt weird about all these things.She said she wants to go partying, night outs and extro stuffs. I do not know if these things are right for her, as she is an extrovert and maybe these things works for them. But I am afraid also, they may not really be the best (as these may not really help her deal with the problems). I dont also want to force her into those introverted exercises, as she may not really even a carry a moment of silence.

So my question, how do you comfort a friend, especially an extroverted friend?
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25 / M / Canada
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Posted 5/28/11 , edited 5/28/11
Sounds like she got dumped. =/
Honestly, you should let her do all those things, but keep an eye on her so that she doesn't make a mistake or do something regrettable. Introvert or extrovert, the best way to tackle a problem is to talk about it with someone close to you.

Edit: If she really did just break up with someone, some reflection is nice, but too much is a bad thing, and I'd also advise against counseling, psychotherapy, or meditation (I'd recommend it if it were an abusive relationship though...). Not because she's extroverted, but because she'd be attempting to set a schedule to something that can't really be fixed according to any schedule, and the more she thinks about it or tries to rationalize it, it'll just take her that much longer to get over it.
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19 / F / Shinshu Field
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Posted 5/28/11
Well i usually just let my friend blurt out w.e's in their chest
They usually calm down after that
You shud just let ur friend do w.e she wants to till she's gotten whut's on her mind
I gues u shud go along with it, if ur comfortable with it
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21 / M / California
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Posted 5/29/11
I'm an introvert as well and I find it easier to comfort people because of it. For the most part I just ask them about what's been going on and try to coax them into talking about their problems. Just listen to them well and give them your serious input and try to make them feel more at ease. Give them some silver lining. Since your friend is an extrovert, I think some healthy social interaction would be good for them. As someone above mentioned, just keep an eye on them.
Posted 5/29/11 , edited 5/29/11
I would just sit there mainly listening and say "Aww, that sucks" and other worthless praises periodically. I'm really bad at comforting people since I'm a socially inept introvert.
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26 / F / The great not so...
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Posted 5/29/11
I suck at it I just sit there and listen and go "aww I'm sorry. I wish I knew what I could do to help you." after they are done.
Posted 5/29/11
usually in my experience if they're really upset all you need to do is listen, nod, give them generic, good advice, help them figure out the problem, make them feel better, let them know you'll be there to help them.
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26 / F / Evergreen, Colora...
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Posted 5/29/11
Interesting question. I shall think upon this and stalk this thread, perhaps.
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22 / F
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Posted 5/29/11

Tsubasa_Lover_4Ever wrote:

I suck at it I just sit there and listen and go "aww I'm sorry. I wish I knew what I could do to help you." after they are done.



Same here i suck at it sometimes i feel i dont even out my heart into it
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It doesn't matter.
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Posted 5/29/11
"there, there."
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21 / M / in Konoha with Hi...
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Posted 5/29/11
Give a free hug
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24 / M / England
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Posted 5/29/11

Vega66 wrote:

I would just sit there mainly listening and say "Aww, that sucks" and other worthless praises periodically. I'm really bad at comforting people since I'm a socially inept introvert.


What this guy said:

But strangely whenever I do this it seems to work at least slightly, allowing them to cry and blurt out all their feelings and giving the odd worthless bit of input every now and then seems to give people a stepping stone in which to jump their feelings upwards.
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18 / F / in paradise
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Posted 5/29/11
I just listen and tell them the good part of how their problem worked out.
You should just let her do want she wants but don't let her make a mistake she will regret.
The mistake would make her feel worse.
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23 / M / Newry, Northern I...
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Posted 5/29/11
Sometimes listening is the best thing you can do.
Posted 5/29/11
Give them all your attention and just listen to them and ask if there's anything you can do. Or what I do is once I've figured out whats wrong with them, change the subject and reminisce funny things they've said or done. Just make it about them Its strange how all my friends come to me for advice, maybe coz I've got experience and they want an honest opinion, and thats something I can pretty much damn guarantee. No holding back lol
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