i would love feed back on my manga script before i draw it :p
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19 / M / BREAK INTO INSAINTY
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Posted 8/7/11
this is only chapter one plz message and add me if you like it thanks people :p
Chapter 1

“Hey bro whats the deal with you always treating me like I am not your damn equal” (kuryu age 12) “because little brother you simple are not I am a soldier and your not”(zuku age 14)
kuryu crossed his arms on the ground and pouted “no fair bro I will be stronger then you one of these days and you will regret saying that to me”kuryu sticks his tongue out “little brother why are you so immature” zuku then puts his hand on this little brother's spiky hair. Kuryu and Zuku then hear there mother yell for them to come in “looks like it is time to go brother “ kuryu got up and brushed off his pants “ya ya I know I can hear he slowly walked to his house with his brother.


Zuku bowed to his mother “ sorry it took me so long to arrive mother” Kuryu walked in after “so mom are what are we eating to night” Kuryu mother got mad and grabbed kuryu and show me some more respect” as steam came from her head “wow mom cool it all I did is ask what we were eating damn”! Kuryu mother had a evil smile “OK her you are sweet son of mine' she handed him a plate full of food kuryu drooled at the sight “oh wait son only good kids get to eat this' she sticks her tongue out and snatches the plate from the table “now go clean practice your swings with your wooden sword” kuryu stomach growled and he grabbed his sword and mubbled “cranky F ing women”. Zuku laughed “so wheres kura ( there 8 year old sister) the mom laughed “she is sleeping she wanted to see you before she feel asleep”Zuku smiled ya I know but I am trying to train kuryu”.


There mother smiled “you are such a good older brother I am so proud of my little soldier your father loves you so much” Zuku smiled “I know mother but I have to go on a mission with my commander soon” there mother smiled “ya I know you do have good jeans sense me and your dad were ELITES” kuryu walked in drenched in sweet “m......mom …...n...o .more ...to Hungry...” kuryu was completely out of breath. The mother smiled “learn to watch your mouth when you talk to me' kuryu looked at her”ok ok you win now can I please eat please” there mother put down the plate as soon as it hit the ground he at the whole thing in one bite picking his teeth with a bone 'mmmmm that was good mom”.


Zuku and there mother looked at him with big eyes “ h....ow did you eat all of that already” kuryu smiled that’s what my training does ha ha”there father walked in with a smile on his face “hows my wonderful family doing' kuryu looked at him with a weird look “ dad were you drinking saki again” the father got mad and slap kuryu in the back of his head
“owwwww old man that hurt' the father smiled “ good stop being so cocky all the time that just shows that you are really weak' kuryu got mad and just went to his room the dad looked confused “wow did he really get that mad oh well zuku go to sleep you got a big day tomorrow'


kuryu woke up to the sun in his eye “ahhhhhhh my eyes some one kill that sun” he raised out of bed and walked to his closet and put on a black shirt and tan shorts and some black boots then he stretched and went down stares and kura ran to him crying “big bro bro left to a mission I miss him' as tears dropped down from her face kuryu drooped down on one nee hey “sis don't worry about it he will be back and if he doesn't then oh well “.


the father and mother look at him with a look of a intent to kill 'stop scaring your little sister” kuryu sucked his teeth “i am sorry sis happy now old lady and old man” he smirked and then both his mom and dad smacked the smirk right off his face “owwwwwwwww what the hell screw this I am out' kuryu grabbed his wooden sword and strapped it to his back and walked threw the city and saw a kid getting picked on “hey stop owwww no stop please “ kuryu got mad and walked to the kid and tapped his solder 'hold on you can punch him after I am done' kuryu tapped his solder again “ hey just wait your turn” kuryu tapped again on his solder he turned his head and kuryu threw a punch that sent that kid flying to a brick wall.


kuryu cracked his knuckles “come on if you want to fight then fight me” he smirked with a devilish look the kids all ran as fast as they could “ya you better run little punks” kuryu looked down at the kid and reached his hand out the kid grabbed his hands and he picked the kid up “so whats your name kid” the kid looked down and whispered “zin' kuryu looked annoyed 'ok kid speak up damn it I can't hear you “ the kid looked down and still whispered a little louder “Zin' kuryu eye brow twitched of anger and he grabbed the kid by his shirt and lifted him by his collar “LOOK ASSWHOLE I TOOK MY TIME OUT TO HELP YOU OUT “ he began to shake the kid “TELL ME YOUR FUCKING NAME “ the kid got scared and said 'zin zin is my name” kuryu smiled and put him down and smirked and pointed at him self with a thumbs up “i am kuryu the future protector of the king “!


zin looked at him “aren’t you a little young to be that” kuryu smirked 'ya but nothing can stop me kuryu gunruku haha” so do you use any weapons' zin unwrapped the long cloth to revel a wooden staff “ I want to learn how to master this”kuryu laughed awesome we should train sometime”zin look at him “I am not busy right now' kuryu said then follow me while kuryu was walking and grabbed a fruit from shop market the owner was shaking his fist “hey kuryu put that back or pay for it' kuryu just stared at him and laughed and kept walking 'ya right old man what you going do hit me haha I love to see you even try haha” they finally arrived at kuryu's house “well its nothing special but her is were I live “,



kuryu smiled as he walked in his home “mom I am home are u fucking here” his mom came around the coiner “watch your mouth kuryu or else who is your friend kuryu” kuryu smirked “this is zin he is kinda a punk “ kuryu laughed why he said that zin looked at kuryu's mom “sorry miss my name is zin “he then smiled to his kuryu's mom “awwwww you are so kawii he is just like how I wished kuryu would have been” kuryu kinda twitched “you got to be fucking kidding me you should be proud you raised the bad ass of the town “ kuryu's mom sighed “nope I am not because it is disrespectful to are family name” kuryu “ got mad and said hey zin lets go chill in town” zin shook his head in agreement.


Kuryu walked with a peace of straw in his mouth with his hands in his pockets and zin walked with a smile and had his hands intertwined. Kuryu saw his child hood friend and ran to here “chika what you doing here “ chika smiled and covered kuryu lip with here finger “ shhhhhhhh I came to see you silly” kuryu blushed a little ckika smiled while blushing . Kuryu smirked and pointed to zin with his thumb “chika this punk is zin” chika smiled at zin zin then looked at here “ sorry chika my name is zin and I am glad to meet you “ then he smiled to here
she held her cheeks while blushing and moving from side to side “he is sooooooooooo kkkkkkkaaaaaaawwwwwwwiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii kuryu why can't you be cute like him” kuryu crossed his arms and turned his head to side and blew steam out of his noise “because I am not a little punk like him”.


Chika smiled and looked at kuryu “awwwwwww are you jealous” kuryu eyes got big and he had sweet coming down the his face “ uhhhhh uhhhhhhh no I am not jj...... jjj......jealous” chika laughed “kuryu you are so easy” zin laughed at that kuryu gave zin a evil glare “this is the second time you showed me up I am starting to not like you pretty boy” chika smiled “kuryu I knew you liked me but could it really be that much” kuryu thought of a devilish plan kuryu grabbed chika and pulled her close to him and looked into her eyes while the wind blew threw his hair and his eyes sparkling “ yes I am madly in love with you chika you are the most beautiful girl I have ever layed my eyes on just when I am around you I feel nothing but happiness and kindness I love you so much chika please allow my lips to be honored with touching yours” chika blushed so bad her whole face was red and she was speechless as kuryu leaned in for a kiss then he let her drop to the floor just before there lips touched “hahahaha NNNNNNNOOOOOOOTTTTTTTT hahaha”chika got mad and punched him in his solder “THAT WAS MEAN KURYU YOU JERK!!!!!!!!!!!!”

Kuryu laughed like crazy “lol I am ya right chika you are the easy one” chika blushed and said oh really zin and kuryu follow me “ she ran into a changing room in a store she came out wearing red boots that came up to her nees and some fish next gloves and a black mini skrit and black tank top and her short brown hair that came down to her solders and she put a sucker in her mouth and came out and grabbed her hips and grabbed her hair pushing it up and looked at kuryu with her seductive brown eyes kuryu arms dropped and blood came out his noise and drool came out his mouth she called him over with his fingers he walked to her “kuryu I want you so bad right now bless me with your love” she said that really sexy kuryu smiled from cheek to cheek then chika grabbed a heavy object and hit him over his head kuryu
dropped to the ground holding his head “owwwwww what the hell I didn’t hit you with anything DAMN IT !!” closed her eyes and stuck her tongue at him “ told you I could get you just like how you get me”. Zin laughed and smiled “ kuryu and miss chika do you to love eacther” kuryu and chika entire face came red and they both yelled “ HELL NO!!!!!!!!” zin laughed are you sure because you two sure do blush a lot kuryu grabbed zin by his shirt “ hey watch what you say don't forget I can still kick your ass”!

Zin eyes got big “ I am sorry” chika grabs kuryu ear and pulls him off zin “kuryu I swear you got to learn to control your temper” kuryu got off him “ owwwwwwwww damn it my ear” chika let go “kuryu can I talk to you tonight at midnight at are old hang out spot” kuryu held his ear” ya ya ill come “ chika smiled and waved god bye “ I gotta go to my job kuryu bye zin”she ran off around the conor zin laughed and they both looked into a near by ally and saw some bandits messing with some kids kuryu smirked “looks like fine eh zin “ zin looked scared as hell “ y..yyy...yyyyy..aaa....aaa.aa “ kuryu ran to the help the kids the bandits looked at them “haha lookey here we got some tough guys hahaha” all of them laughed at kuryu and zin kuryu smirked “ haha lookey here we got some dum ass bandits thinking there tough guys hahaha” zin looked scared as kuryu laughed at them the bandits got mad “ okay you smart mouth prick lets go they all pulled out wooden swords and metal pipes kuryu smirked and cracked his kuncles o”okay you ugly bastards lets go kuryu ran to the bandits slid under on of there legs and and punched one of them in the face and turned around real quick by sliding his legs and the dust got in a lot of there eyes and he punched the one he slid under and he went flying back kuryu laughed “ damn you guys suck” .


The all got mad and charged at him kuryu smirked and jumped up and jumped off one of there faces to launch him higher to jump over the bandits then he grabbed one of the metal pipes and and punched the guy holding it and laughed “damn now your screwed I got a weapon now” he rushed hitting every last of them in the head they all passed out the pipe was bent in chipped from how hard he hit them in the head he threw the pipe “what a peace of junk” a kid with black hair walked in the ally pissed off holding to wooden swords and he threw kuryu another metal pipe kuryu catches it “hmmmm I like the way you think freak”!





TO BE CONTINUED
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