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Nerves about High school
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Posted 8/26/11 , edited 8/26/11
I'm afraid I'm not going to get into college after high school , even though I started around 5 days ago. I'm trying to set goals for myself here, not to worry, but every time I think of college and finishing high school, I cry inside. What if I fail? What if I can't get into college. I've set extremely high goals for myself in the past few years. My dad is a graduate of an ivy league, more specifically, Cornell, and I don't want to disappoint my parents by doing badly. My sister's perfect in everything, because she just got into middle school, and thinks It'll be the easiest thing ever. She's wrong there, but we're polar opposites.

Anyway, today at school I'm having to do this career thing and I have to describe my skills, no matter how horrible I am at them. In the end, I typed a draft and began describing how bad I am at everything. Then it turned into a rant, completely off topic from what I was aiming for

We also had to do this college compatibility thing. I think I might do okay in high school, but I'm still very very afraid, so I put moderate to hard - when the questionnaire was describing how hard the college you wanted should be to get into. Stanford, Cornell, some other ivy leagues showed up on my results. Part of me dies inside when I do this course on careers, because every time I look at something that requires high expectations, I start putting myself down again because I think, as usual, I'm not good enough to do it, even if - deep down, I know I can do it. I know I'm smart, it's just that, half the time, I'm afraid I'll make one mistake that will tear apart everything.

Are there any ways I can improve this shitty self esteem of mine and try to start believing I can do things?
Just give me some tips. I just need some uplifting or people who are going through the same thing.
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20 / M / Stoke, England
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Posted 8/26/11
Well you could smoke weed....

But the alternate method is to just know that you're smart. It's hard for me to put into words because I'm a dumb sack of shit, but yeah. You've set high goals for yourself in the past, meaning that you do indeed get high grades, and that means that you're intelligent and therefore capable of getting whatever career you want. Plus, apparently your sister and your father are successful, so it probably runs in your family to be above average.

And that was probably just me trying to boost your self esteem, rather than giving you way to improve it yourself, but whatever.
Posted 8/26/11 , edited 8/26/11
Damn, you worry too much. I used to be like that. You're the same girl that thinks that has social anxiety disorder? You also seem to have general anxiety disorder. This disorder tends to make you worry excessively and unnecessarily. Get help. I'm serious. It sounds like you're mentally crippled by your worries.

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25 / M
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Posted 8/26/11
yes, you need to understand, these things aren't nearly as difficult or important as your head is telling them. Most the rumors about high school are wrong, its not as bad as people would have you think, and there are a lot of colleges and scholarships out there. not to mention everyone has talents, youve just gotta find yours
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23 / Rainbow Factory
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Posted 8/26/11

animegirl2222 wrote:

I'm afraid I'm not going to get into college after high school , even though I started around 5 days ago. I'm trying to set goals for myself here, not to worry, but every time I think of college and finishing high school, I cry inside. What if I fail? What if I can't get into college. I've set extremely high goals for myself in the past few years. My dad is a graduate of an ivy league, more specifically, Cornell, and I don't want to disappoint my parents by doing badly. My sister's perfect in everything, because she just got into middle school, and thinks It'll be the easiest thing ever. She's wrong there, but we're polar opposites.

Anyway, today at school I'm having to do this career thing and I have to describe my skills, no matter how horrible I am at them. In the end, I typed a draft and began describing how bad I am at everything. Then it turned into a rant, completely off topic from what I was aiming for

We also had to do this college compatibility thing. I think I might do okay in high school, but I'm still very very afraid, so I put moderate to hard - when the questionnaire was describing how hard the college you wanted should be to get into. Stanford, Cornell, some other ivy leagues showed up on my results. Part of me dies inside when I do this course on careers, because every time I look at something that requires high expectations, I start putting myself down again because I think, as usual, I'm not good enough to do it, even if - deep down, I know I can do it. I know I'm smart, it's just that, half the time, I'm afraid I'll make one mistake that will tear apart everything.

Are there any ways I can improve this shitty self esteem of mine and try to start believing I can do things?
Just give me some tips. I just need some uplifting or people who are going through the same thing.


I've had similar experiences, however my version tends to be more on the not caring end of the issue. Having high expectations are great, however sometimes you need to lower them a bit for your own sake. Simply so that your goal feels more obtainable. Another option is to find a hobby or some activity that you particularly excel in and then transfer that confidence into everything else. By the way, what career do you want to go into?
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20 / F / ☻☺
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Posted 8/26/11
Wow... you need to relax, life is about enjoying it. If you really feel you can't, ask for help from someone you know, but don't drag them too far.
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25 / M / Alabama, USA
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Posted 8/26/11 , edited 8/26/11

animegirl2222 wrote:

I'm afraid I'm not going to get into college after high school , even though I started around 5 days ago. I'm trying to set goals for myself here, not to worry, but every time I think of college and finishing high school, I cry inside. What if I fail? What if I can't get into college. I've set extremely high goals for myself in the past few years. My dad is a graduate of an ivy league, more specifically, Cornell, and I don't want to disappoint my parents by doing badly. My sister's perfect in everything, because she just got into middle school, and thinks It'll be the easiest thing ever. She's wrong there, but we're polar opposites.

Anyway, today at school I'm having to do this career thing and I have to describe my skills, no matter how horrible I am at them. In the end, I typed a draft and began describing how bad I am at everything. Then it turned into a rant, completely off topic from what I was aiming for

We also had to do this college compatibility thing. I think I might do okay in high school, but I'm still very very afraid, so I put moderate to hard - when the questionnaire was describing how hard the college you wanted should be to get into. Stanford, Cornell, some other ivy leagues showed up on my results. Part of me dies inside when I do this course on careers, because every time I look at something that requires high expectations, I start putting myself down again because I think, as usual, I'm not good enough to do it, even if - deep down, I know I can do it. I know I'm smart, it's just that, half the time, I'm afraid I'll make one mistake that will tear apart everything.

Are there any ways I can improve this shitty self esteem of mine and try to start believing I can do things?
Just give me some tips. I just need some uplifting or people who are going through the same thing.


It seems that we're both kindred spirits---I used to be like that from elementary to high school....even now, after starting my Sophomore year at college, I still continue to have issues with my self-esteem and high ambitions. Let me tell you now that high school won't be as big and life-altering as you think it will be, and it's really not worth stressing so much on aiming for the top Ivy League colleges right now. Although it's very admirable of you to be aiming for those top-tier schools, you might want to also consider attending a public university near your parents or relatives during your first 4 years of college---they usually offer very generous scholarships to those with a good GPA and SAT/ACT score. Then, after you've matured during those undergraduate years at your in-state college, it would be time to think about the Big Boss schools (Yale, Harvard, Oxford, Cambridge, etc.).

I was aiming for some top-tier schools back in high school myself---I had top-notch grades, a unique and personal list of extra-curricular activities (I focused on my hobby of playing the music and writing fiction stores), two great admissions essays, and I even traveled 1000 miles to have a personal interview with a staff of an Ivy League school to be included with my admission application. And even though I was rejected by those Ivy League douche-bags two years ago, it still hurts, and I continue to wonder if I'm good enough to live up to the expectations of my parents and peers.

I ended up going to an in-state university that has a relatively decent national ranking----they offered to pay my 4-year tuition AND pay an extra $10,000 for my living expenses due to my majoring in Chemical Engineering and Pre-Medicine. I get to attend the same university with my 2 best friends from high school, and since we live in the same dorm at college, I get to hang out with them all the time. The college is 3 hours away from home, so I can visit my family during weekends. There's still many resources around here, and there are some very good professors here too. In the end, everything seemed to work out for me (although, I'm currently worrying about applying for the top Medical schools after completing my undergraduate studies .....)

What I'm trying to say is---you don't need to worry about going to an Ivy League school to ultimately find success in life....the only thing that really matters is what you do with what you have. And take things easy---------so what if you make one little mistake? Just learn from that mistake and move on. It's no biggie; everyone makes mistakes, because we're only human.

A friend once told me to always keep my chin up and not worry about the people around me. That advice has taken me a long way, and it continues to do so today. Just focus on your own task and don't look around at others to compare yourself to. And if you need somebody to talk to, you can always talk to your parents, your school counselor, or a trusted mentor.

Anyway, that's my sermon----I tried my best to answer most of your concerns. If you feel like you don't have anyone else to talk to, I won't mind at all if you contact me if there's something on your mind. We Otakus gotta stick together
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Posted 8/26/11
Posted 8/26/11
Relax, enjoy yourself, join some clubs, be yourself and don't worry about homesickness. Pfffft 3 weeks in you'll be like "My life is amaaaazing!" living away from home, among your own kind, doing what the hell you want. College is the best time of my life, I'm in my elements. You'll make new friends instantly, just be around and don't lock yourself away.

PAAAARTEY! WOOH! >_< Shots! Shots! Shots!

and....studying....yaaaay -__- *unenthusiastic air punch*

Posted 8/26/11 , edited 8/26/11
Don't think that if you don't go to Ivy or some high tier college will disgrace you parents or something. Going to a high tier college and failing, is so much worse... So w/e you want to do in the future you find a college that specialize in it, if possible go to some community college and then transfer your credits to w/e college you like (like me, it will save a lot of money and my community college credit transfer program is good).. High school is no where near college in teaching level because you'll find the stuff HS is baby stuff (well my HS is tht, idk about other HS)... But anywho word of advice is tht when you make your schedule semester, manage-able.... Do all the math/english/humanities/ or social science first, and once you finish tht start knocking down your electives as it will take a huge load of your back as you will be more focus on the subject.... As compared to mixing it up ur elective with physics and calc. , because some classes demand more work then others (unless ur elective is seasonal courses)... Hell take summer courses if need to to lightened ur fall/spring courses

Oh and btw if your going to study for an exam in college, don't study like you would do in HS.... you gotta make problems out of your ass and solve them completely, create study groups, go to tutoring if u have any problems, or ask the teacher for a mock-exam or extra help... You gotta to utilize everything the college gives u because ur freaking paying for their services
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Posted 8/26/11
Just go to a public college, why should you force yourself you if have doubts that are practically crushing you?
You will commit suicide if you keep this up
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28 / M
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Posted 8/26/11 , edited 8/26/11
I'll be honest. High School is really easy. College is really easy, not to put down other majors, if you go for a non-science degree. My only friend who isn't part of the College of Science doesn't even study, just hearing things in classes is enough for her. As for me, I study non stop to get my grades, but many of my friends who just mess around can still pass without trying hard or they pester me for explanations.

I think you should relax a little. Many people I know say college is better than high school while I think high school was superior. If you relax a little while putting in some effort, you'll love it and not be so stressed.

Guess I'll edit. With a follow up.
Most people I know do study groups. I will organize weekly study groups when my college starts because I think cram-study groups are a waste of time. As long as you put in some effort and avoid the notorious professors, you'd do fine.

If Crunchyroll was around when I was in High School, I would love to keep my premium membership during the school year. You'll see my star disappear once I unsubscribe because I won't have time for this, or posting. Enjoy HS!
Posted 8/26/11
I just think you need to focus on the present and not try to do everything at once. You have plenty of time, focus on what is infront of you first before planning for the future.

And if you still don't believe in yourself... Then believe in me. Who believes in you!
Posted 8/26/11
I don't know about your country, but where I am, any idiot can go to university.
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26 / M
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Posted 8/26/11
if you are not ready for college by the time hs ends go to comm college to try it out.
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