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You guys are so socially awkward
Posted 8/29/11

varnlestoff wrote:


evenstar95 wrote:

In real life, it's cool to fit in. On CR, it's cool to be a self-proclaimed weirdo. There you have it.


Everybody has something about them that others consider "weird". That's without going out of your way to try and be weird. OP is correct in that you should just be yourself. That way the odd side of you is genuine.


I was talking about the latter. Generally, to have something termed as 'normal' it has to fit in with the societal conventions of its time. Anything outside of that and it'll be seen as 'weird', either positively or negatively.

To the OP - I think you're unnecessarily concerning yourself with this. Although a large majority of users do behave in a similar way, you'll rarely find anyone above the age of 18 acting as immaturely as the user you've quoted.
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Posted 8/29/11 , edited 8/29/11

evenstar95 wrote:


varnlestoff wrote:


evenstar95 wrote:

In real life, it's cool to fit in. On CR, it's cool to be a self-proclaimed weirdo. There you have it.


Everybody has something about them that others consider "weird". That's without going out of your way to try and be weird. OP is correct in that you should just be yourself. That way the odd side of you is genuine.


I was talking about the latter. Generally, to have something termed as 'normal' it has to fit in with the societal conventions of its time. Anything outside of that and it'll be seen as 'weird', either positively or negatively.

To the OP - I think you're unnecessarily concerning yourself with this. Although a large majority of users do behave in a similar way, you'll rarely find anyone above the age of 18 acting as immaturely as the user you've quoted.


I guess I'm going on more about being self actualized then simply socially awkward or 'weird' you would be surprised that the majority of people I see in college are not true to themselves, I'm not talking about putting up a safety veil or not showing their personality, but people who try to act like people they are not and refuse to be themselves out of fear of acceptance. I guess you could call it being fake or being an attention whore, but I guess it's not a big suprise to see people have a natural fear to expose their true personality. However I find it more odd for said person to expose an extreme more awkward false side.

opps double post, forgive me.
Posted 8/29/11

Vicious176 wrote:

It's also a figure of speech, not something living. I'm also not saying anything bad about people who have found their net of friends and their safety zone, I'm talking about people who go out of their way to be different. If you're bullied and you can still not give in and be yourself power to you, you're the better person but I can't stress be yourself enough.


What's wrong with people wanting to be different? Not everyone is happy with being themselves and naturally, they'd want to change. You have people who are still deciding who they are, and your personality is also subject to change as you grow and mature.

Just leave them be and let them experiment. Personally, I don't see any harm in it.
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Posted 8/29/11 , edited 8/29/11
If that change is part of their personal identity then I can understand that, but by a certain age sometime before the age of 10 our personality is defined and that is who we are. This is controversial such as nature vs nurture, just because I believe this theory doesnt mean any of you have to but what I say does come from studies theories and not random babble.Going against that as fighting yourself and simply not accepting who you truly are. There is a harm in it to the psyche, its mentally unhealthy, I'm not saying people can't change but trying to change your personality is futile in my opinion. People change as they mature, they change over life experiences, but their personality is still part of that root personality embedded in them.
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Posted 8/29/11
And yet your here to. Does that make you socially awkward as well?
Is not just this site, you WILL come across life with people who are stupid or immature.
If you tried to change or understand everyone who was like that ^
you'll live your whole life working in that...
Posted 8/29/11 , edited 8/29/11


You have the right to question things, but why question it? If people are happy doing w/e they do, then why change it? If you questioning something than that obvious means that you have some problems with it (such as understanding).... If you don't understand something you have to look at their "roots" and where they come from, and the best way is to see that is to get first-hand experience on what they been through (although it is technically impossible).... Even if they are socially awkward then so what? They have friends who are also socially awkward in someway and through that they have a certain "bond" that connects them as friends... What reason would they change?
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Posted 8/29/11 , edited 8/29/11
I already said I wasn't talking about the whole site, most of you would know if you think im talking about you or you know the type of people I'm talking about. I used the thread title to get people in here and talk about personality identity and social norms and it worked and I'm getting a lot of heat for it.

And spending my life working in that may sound lame to you or others, "why you should you care" "mind your own business" but this will some day be my job and a job i'll love. How can you not be interested in the mind and how it works and why people are different? Why poke something? To see the reaction. I'm not trying to be insensitive to this. I was awkward through out middle school and became social and pretty popular in high school. It's all about how you carry yourself and being yourself. There are things socially accepted and things shunned, why are people going out of their way, people who are not socially awkward to simply go against the grain of society. Weither you want to believe it or not chances are you will be conforming in 10, 20 years unless you are that extreme guy who lives secluded.
Posted 8/29/11

Vicious176 wrote:

I already said I wasn't talking about the whole site, most of you would know if you think im talking about you or you know the type of people I'm talking about. I used the thread title to get people in here and talk about personality identity and social norms and it worked and I'm getting a lot of heat for it.

And spending my life working in that may sound lame to you or others, "why you should you care" "mind your own business" but this will some day be my job and a job i'll love. How can you not be interested in the mind and how it works and why people are different? Why poke something? To see the reaction. I'm not trying to be insensitive to this. I was awkward through out middle school and became social and pretty popular in high school. It's all about how you carry yourself and being yourself. There are things socially accepted and things shunned, why are people going out of their way, people who are not socially Packard to simply go against the grain of society. Weither you want to believe it or not chances are you will be conforming in 10, 20 years unless you are that extreme guy who lives secluded.


How far into your Psychology major are you OP? Do you think it's better than Sociology? I would think it's a little more complicated because everything dealt with in Sociology is basically a facet for how we function inside. Then again, a lot of our Psychology is developed through outward social conditions so it sort of goes both ways.
Posted 8/29/11

Vicious176 wrote:

If that change is part of their personal identity then I can understand that, but by a certain age sometime before the age of 10 our personality is defined and that is who we are. See going against that as fighting yourself and simply not accepting who you truly are. There is a harm in it to the psyche, its mentally unhealthy, I'm not saying people can't change but trying to change your personality is futile in my opinion. People change as they mature, they change over life experiences, but their personality is still part of that root personality embedded in them.


Not just age 10, but by age 5 most kids will have developed their main personality traits. Even before that you'll see how babies a few months old will respond differently to the same stimuli, and using that information you may be able to guess what sort of personality traits they'll have when they're older.

I completely agree with you when you say that ultimately, you are yourself and changing that is futile, but that doesn't necessarily mean people will stop trying. You'll have your root personality and reactions to things that are set in stone, but you'll always be looking to improve and shape yourself into something you and others will accept.

During adolescence you'll be constantly bombarded with people and experiences that will shatter your self-confidence, and that's what triggers that need and want to change. Eventually a person will come to terms with the fact that their attempts are futile, and learn to thrive with who they are and what they currently have.
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Posted 8/29/11 , edited 8/29/11
I have an AA in psychology and over half way towards by Bachlors, Honestly I was considering changing my major to physics or chemistry because it's exact, it makes sense, it's more easily applied and mind blowingly fun. I'm not too intrested in sociology but it comes up a lot in psychology and is something you have to take into consideration. Psychology, or atleasy clinical psychology is taking everything into consideration while always remembering causation does not equal causation although it can be a factor. I like the more experimental side of psychology but you get into a moral hodgepodge and may easily "sell your soul for science". But psychology is just so vast and equally interesting. It's really about preference, and what field you want to go into. With clinical 1/3 the time you'll be working with angsty teens with a superiority complex who think they're better than others and 2/3 the time you'll be working with people who really do need the help and a lot of times you end up taking your work home and it really wears on you. Thats why I like the research end of it all.

Thank you evenstar95, these are the responses I was hoping for when I made this thread. I agree with you 100%
Posted 8/29/11
There's nothing more beautiful than knowing who you are as a person.

If everyone conformed to the status quo, life would be pretty boring, no? I don't think anyone is purposely trying to socially outcast themselves, but when you live in a society where the majority of people are more focused on “what’s cool” it happens. Frankly, I rather a person embrace their individuality and do what makes them happy without regret, instead of worrying about other’s approval.

As a person who's a psychology major, I'm surprised by your bias and generalizing statements.
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Posted 8/29/11 , edited 8/29/11
It's a bad habit from lurking 4chan too much lately and being human. If I was in a more academic environment I'd be more careful with my wording, and being yourself is in no way conforming or being the status quo.
Posted 8/29/11

Vicious176 wrote:

I already said I wasn't talking about the whole site, most of you would know if you think im talking about you or you know the type of people I'm talking about. I used the thread title to get people in here and talk about personality identity and social norms and it worked and I'm getting a lot of heat for it.

And spending my life working in that may sound lame to you or others, "why you should you care" "mind your own business" but this will some day be my job and a job i'll love. How can you not be interested in the mind and how it works and why people are different? Why poke something? To see the reaction. I'm not trying to be insensitive to this. I was awkward through out middle school and became social and pretty popular in high school. It's all about how you carry yourself and being yourself. There are things socially accepted and things shunned, why are people going out of their way, people who are not socially awkward to simply go against the grain of society. Weither you want to believe it or not chances are you will be conforming in 10, 20 years unless you are that extreme guy who lives secluded.


The human mind is complex, I don't think anyone can completely understand the mentality of everyone in the world.. It all varies by surroundings and environment... It would be best to completely understand oneself first, then understanding another (as I found tht out myself)... Also some people are not as strong as others, as they might be put down by their appearance, family, wealth, intellect, and ailments, as it might take years, centuries, or simply never for them to get over it
Posted 8/29/11

evenstar95 wrote:


Vicious176 wrote:

If that change is part of their personal identity then I can understand that, but by a certain age sometime before the age of 10 our personality is defined and that is who we are. See going against that as fighting yourself and simply not accepting who you truly are. There is a harm in it to the psyche, its mentally unhealthy, I'm not saying people can't change but trying to change your personality is futile in my opinion. People change as they mature, they change over life experiences, but their personality is still part of that root personality embedded in them.


Not just age 10, but by age 5 most kids will have developed their main personality traits. Even before that you'll see how babies a few months old will respond differently to the same stimuli, and using that information you may be able to guess what sort of personality traits they'll have when they're older.

I completely agree with you when you say that ultimately, you are yourself and changing that is futile, but that doesn't necessarily mean people will stop trying. You'll have your root personality and reactions to things that are set in stone, but you'll always be looking to improve and shape yourself into something you and others will accept.

During adolescence you'll be constantly bombarded with people and experiences that will shatter your self-confidence, and that's what triggers that need and want to change. Eventually a person will come to terms with the fact that their attempts are futile, and learn to thrive with who they are and what they currently have.


People stay fundamentally the same intellectually their whole lives. When I say intellectual I am referencing IQ, and not obtainable knowledge. There are some very smart people who who have fairly average IQ's.

However, people's outlook on life, values, and ways of dealing with life does change through experience.
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Posted 8/29/11 , edited 8/29/11
I agree not everyone's hierarchy of needs are met but this shouldn't stop you on the road to becoming self-actualized. People stuck at the lower levels of individuality are stuck their because of a lack of will to 'awaken' or further themselves as a person. It's very crude to say this but I look down on these people to an extent and any person who doesn't try to make themselves a better person or peruse deeper education / knowledge no matter what it be.
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