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If everyone deserves a 2nd chance, does it mean that we also have the freedom to waste the 1st one?
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21 / M / swansea, uk
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Posted 9/15/11 , edited 9/15/11
i say u should give them a second chance; i they betray ur trust again, break them.
(not 4 anything minor of course)
Posted 9/15/11
Second chances? Just second chances? I have seen more than second chances being tossed around freely and unreasonably. People take advantage of second chances, they put less thoughts to it. Why? Easy said, they will know that you can forgive them again. To be precise, it's sometimes useless. For say. you are trying to drive your car when you clearly see that it has no gas. Don't be oblivious, so please, to those you know that don't deserve second chances, don't give them second chances; waste of your time and energy.

Now, since everyone knows that I am just so damn awesome and nice- too generous *cough*, I always give away second chances (NOT).
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23 / F / Under your skin.
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Posted 9/15/11
Do terrorists / mass murderers deserve a second chance?

I don't think so.
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26 / M / only kami neko knows
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Posted 9/15/11
Why only the first one? I can use twenty and they'll still come back to me.
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38 / M
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Posted 9/15/11 , edited 9/15/11
Especially relationships,I never give a second chance.If there was a good enough reason to break up in the first place,then why put yourself through hell.The past is the best determiner of the future, so chances are they'd just do it all over again, and think you weaker for having taken them back. The old saying goes,screw me once your fault, screw me twice my fault (for giving someone who screwed me a second chance).
Posted 12/8/11
hmmm maybe?
Posted 12/8/11
No.
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33 / F / Iloilo City!!!!!!...
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Posted 12/8/11
No, no, and no. A first chance should not be wasted, because the possibility of being given a second chance is still 50-50. Even if everyone does deserve a second chance, it might not be given to them.
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Posted 12/8/11
i think its a saying. its the life lesson of doing the same thing but expecting different results. there is only so many times you can try before some people will give up on you.
Posted 12/8/11 , edited 12/9/11
Deserving a second chance is just an old proverb. It's up to the beneficiary to decide whether the recipient deserves a second chance or not. In other words, to each their own.

I would give a person a second chance if I thought they would do the same for me if the positions reversed, unless the screw up is bigger than the person, and it's no longer worth taking any more "chances".


Yen-yenz wrote:

No, no, and no. A first chance should not be wasted, because the possibility of being given a second chance is still 50-50. Even if everyone does deserve a second chance, it might not be given to them.


The saying is very up for interpretation but I think it is important, even if not necessarily followed. True success at least by common definition of "success", is built by being able to pick yourself up from one failure and moving to the next until you find something that works.

Everybody. EVERYBODY makes mistakes, and if there were no opportunities provided or earned after, we would still be living in caves in fear of progression and innovation.

How much glass did it take to invent a working Lightbulb? More than enough to make a glass toilet out of New York. The thousands of repeat failures ruled out invariables, until an optimal path to completion slowly began forming, and that changed the world.

Success by failure is why we have the term "Tinkering with success". It sounds a whole lot better than repeat failure
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Posted 12/8/11
Everyone is entitled to their own opinions~ Personally, i think that no, if you're given a second chance, it shouldn't just be wasted. A person who does something like that with them knowing they wasted it doesn't deserve the luxury. However, i think the 'no one deserves second chances' either thing is harsh. Like ^^^, he's totally right; we make mistakes. Since we do, we deserve the opportunity to earn redemption for it; if we're willing. Too many, and they lose the privilege. Again, that's just my opinion
Posted 12/8/11 , edited 12/9/11

23rdCentury wrote:

Everyone is entitled to their own opinions~ Personally, i think that no, if you're given a second chance, it shouldn't just be wasted. A person who does something like that with them knowing they wasted it doesn't deserve the luxury. However, i think the 'no one deserves second chances' either thing is harsh. Like ^^^, he's totally right; we make mistakes. Since we do, we deserve the opportunity to earn redemption for it; if we're willing. Too many, and they lose the privilege. Again, that's just my opinion


Don't worry, I'm pretty sure you share the opinion of those who alter what is commonly defined as common sense. It's always changing, as how we live and what we know is always changing. People are entitled to opinions, but that doesn't make them any less jaded, obscure, or irrelevant compared to the objective, forward thinking outlook of your opinion.

When you start talking about success/fail in regards to a physical matter of creation, or doing something in which there is extensive knowledge, there is in fact a thing such as "poor, or invalid opinions", because they contradict something proven in a way that has no constructive, or positive element in which a large majority would see as useful.

This is called relativist thought, because it deals with individual taste, preference, and social ideal, rather than something that is true. That's not to say that relativist opinions are bad. They are fine as long as they don't project overtly into matters that deals with a subject that has substantial proof to the opposite regard.

In science, this is where people would say, "get a better education, or find something revolutionary to counter us, because your empty opinions alone mean nothing on this matter".


ReaperEXE wrote:

Second chances are for the weak.

Giving second chances in a relationship is a joke, for many reasons. Like, if it happens once, it will happen again, and it's far easier for someone to wear a mask than to change.. Also, odds are, there's almost a 100% chance of finding a better partner, there's a lot of people, not just in the world, but around you as well.


Find a partner, and disrespect the shit out of her. Don't place and unneeded confidence in anybody. It's probably safer to crucify somebody you "supposedly" love based on misunderstandings made out of the inevitable eventuality that you fail at seeing truth because of an unrelenting outlook. <---- Poor job at sarcasm aside


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25 / M / Canada
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Posted 12/8/11

varnlestoff wrote:


ReaperEXE wrote:

Second chances are for the weak.

Giving second chances in a relationship is a joke, for many reasons. Like, if it happens once, it will happen again, and it's far easier for someone to wear a mask than to change.. Also, odds are, there's almost a 100% chance of finding a better partner, there's a lot of people, not just in the world, but around you as well.


Cool bro, find a partner, and disrespect the shit out of her. To an extent what you say is true, but it would probably be safer to avoid crucifying somebody you "supposedly" love based on misunderstandings you made out of the inevitable eventuality that you fail to see the truth because of an unrelenting, jaded outlook. At this point, there's a new person who doesn't deserve a second chance.

I've been on the receiving end of a jaded bitch with a difficult life before, broke up with her based on her terrible personality before she could finish crucifying me after jumping to faulty conclusions.

Whoa, whoa, whoa! Excuse me? Where did this bullshit about me disrespecting a girl come from? If I knew you personally, I would be somewhat offended. What I'm saying is that people have the capacity to change, but realistically speaking, it's far easier to pretend you've changed than to change at all. If you can't infer that the situation I'm referring to is cheating and/or breaking up, and then getting back together, then good luck to you. It sounds like you had a hard time grasping that! How on Earth did you misconstrue what I said and respond with your own idiotic banter?

If I break up with a girl, or she breaks up with me and we're in a situation where we're on the verge of a back-slide, I have to remember that there was a reason that we didn't work out on the first time, and that we will 99% for that same reason fail again. I expect the same treatment; no second chances for me if I was the one who fucked up. You've been in a relationship, you should know that the "safe" route isn't always the right one. More often than not it isn't. It is never safe to avoid someone, it only makes a big problem bigger. Also, just a note, somewhere along the way, you confused your own positive argument with your own negative one; is it safe for me to assume you have no idea what you're talking about? I think so. This has nothing to do with "crucifying" anyone on the basis of misunderstandings. It's about a relationship that simply, for whatever reason, did not work. Your argument for "a new person who doesn't deserve a second chance." is fruitless; it follows the wrong assumption that Person A even wants a second chance.

Your example basically sounds like you broke up with her before she could break up with you. Do you think you're perfect? Perhaps there may have been some truth in her so-called "faulty conclusions". Do you even know what jades means? I don't think being realistic is being jaded, though you seem to. Jaded would be going back. The key is to be realistic with a strong degree of compassion. Actually, there is no single key. However, I digress. One thing is clear to me, you are a very faulty, unrealistic, judgemental, paranoid, individual, quick to jump to absurd conclusions and delusions. I'll pose this question to you: If a girl cheats on me and comes back for a second chance, what misunderstanding am I having by rejecting her and what truth am I missing? Follow up question: After rejecting her, why am I the one who doesn't deserve a second chance? Before you foolishly argue that these questions are stupid, remember that they are based off of your logic. I really, really, really, want to know how you'd answer that.
Posted 12/8/11 , edited 12/9/11

ReaperEXE wrote:


Whoa, whoa, whoa! Excuse me? Where did this bullshit about me disrespecting a girl come from? If I knew you personally, I would be somewhat offended. What I'm saying is that people have the capacity to change, but realistically speaking, it's far easier to pretend you've changed than to change at all. If you can't infer that the situation I'm referring to is cheating and/or breaking up, and then getting back together, then good luck to you. It sounds like you had a hard time grasping that! How on Earth did you misconstrue what I said and respond with your own idiotic banter?



Edited to reduce rudeness. I didn't like the impact my paragraph had. But yeah, so far your new post provides a lot more clarity. But you do come off as extremely offended. Sorry about that, can I have my second chance or does this prove your mask theory?

Glad you spotted my little red herring though. I decided to roll with it for the sake of getting a deep response. You're a pretty cool guy.


ReaperEXE wrote:


Your example basically sounds like you broke up with her before she could break up with you. Do you think you're perfect? Perhaps there may have been some truth in her so-called "faulty conclusions". Do you even know what jades means? I don't think being realistic is being jaded, though you seem to. Jaded would be going back. The key is to be realistic with a strong degree of compassion. Actually, there is no single key. However, I digress. One thing is clear to me, you are a very faulty, unrealistic, judgemental, paranoid, individual, quick to jump to absurd conclusions and delusions. I'll pose this question to you: If a girl cheats on me and comes back for a second chance, what misunderstanding am I having by rejecting her and what truth am I missing? Follow up question: After rejecting her, why am I the one who doesn't deserve a second chance? Before you foolishly argue that these questions are stupid, remember that they are based off of your logic. I really, really, really, want to know how you'd answer that.


Holy mother of awesome. Challenge accepted!! I'll get back to editing this post in a bit I have dinner, but this will be fun.

edit;

The most immediate answer to your question would be that you need to see the potential for bias in your perspective. Whatever she did, or did not do was the result of something, somewhere, that you can not place an objective understanding towards. Weren't there, never will be, perspective forever different. She may be forthcoming and admit to having cheated out of immense personal guilt, which on the other side of this seemingly deplorable act, shows how much she values you.

Most people who "want" to cheat, will "want to put on a mask". Most people who fall into a bad situation or are manipulated into one will have a much stronger sense of shame, guilt, and fear, which would make an honest confession that much more "honest", and heartfelt, showing a truly genuine ply at salvaging the relationship and a real attempt to change so not to be vulnerable any longer. Nobody likes being vulnerable, especially women. Playing a logic based odds game, it would be easier to move on without her. But this is where ambiguity comes into play, and you have to make your own call about what kind of person you are, and what you see in your partner.

This confession will usually, cause initial feelings of disgust, confusion, or bitterness, and with a failure to cope with the situation while staying together, you break up rather than mending wounds. If I were in your place I would begin to question more of the extenuating circumstances about the relationship leading up, and then understand that many of the specifics of the "cheating" may not be as black and white as one would usually think when under the the initial mental overload many go through after hearing the "news"

Like I had in spoilers. It all depends on whether the person is worth going the extra mile for. If you want more fish in the sea, then sever ties and discard the loose end providing you stress. A person who won't attempt the extra mile, and find the best possible understanding, does not deserve a second chance. On the contrary, they no longer need to be together at that point, a half painted picture isn't going to keep a relationship afloat, and it definitely doesn't do justice towards both partners truly understanding each other.
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In your dreams...
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Posted 12/8/11 , edited 12/8/11
It depends... Cause if a guy or a girl hurt you bad, i mean really bad then all you can do is forgive them but a second chance, HELL'S NO. And a cheater can never change its spots.
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