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If everyone deserves a 2nd chance, does it mean that we also have the freedom to waste the 1st one?
Posted 12/8/11 , edited 12/8/11

hyd16 wrote:

It depends... Cause if a guy or a girl hurt you bad, i mean really bad then all you can do is forgive them but a second chance, HELL'S NO. And a cheater can never change its stripes.


Depends how much stripes mean to you. If you think having that fact forever engraved in truth is bad, just imagine how many skeletons in the closet every other person you ever meet, will have as well. All those silly, mental remnants of the past only cripple you if you let them.\

My most recent teacher is a merited Fire Chief, and one of the things he told me is that everyone puts on masks when they go outside. Now this lecture wasn't anything new to me, we all have different personalities depending on our location and social atmosphere. However, these faces all come together, and in the end it's still your face.

He considered his co-workers family, because he spends more time with them than his real family. When he goes home, he has to change the way he interacts because bringing work home only damages the home atmosphere, and nobody really understands what he goes through at work, so he gets angered easily if he talks about work, only to have people make a conjectures that seem extremely ignorant, false, or "simplistic", when in reality are extremely complex and sensitive.

So the result is just not talking about work, and instead keeping the different places you belong separate, and enjoying them both for different reasons. If he needs to get something off his chest to cope with his work day, he does it at a critical incident stress management meeting, rather than talking to his wife. They can't share all of the same personal issues, because many of them are way over her comprehension. But then they still love each other, because this difference and limitation of subject material is a fact that they learned to understand and accept about each other.

Introspection, trust, and acceptance at it's finest. These are the qualities of a lasting relationship. If this doesn't sound good to you, life may not have hit you full blast yet, or perhaps it's just not the lifestyle you will ever choose.
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Posted 12/8/11
I guessing the question is rhetoric but if not, well here goes:

With conditional love no matter how many chances are offered, accepted, possibly later rebuffed neither of you will enjoy serenity because an unspoken ephemeral contract has been violated.

With unconditional love you and the other party, for better or not, are sharing the dignity, respect, and freedom to experience life, warts and all, where 1 or both can each walk away with an inner peace once the ephemeral contract is broken and ceases to remain viable.

A lot of people are not aware of this human capability as psych and behavioral texts will testify. Careers in both fields are booming thanks to that ignorance.

As for terrorists who prefer to kill civilians rather than an equally lethal or stronger opposing force....these bastards don't even deserve the 1st chance IMHO.
Posted 12/8/11 , edited 12/8/11

bemused_Bohemian wrote:

I guessing the question is rhetoric but if not, well here goes:

With conditional love no matter how many chances are offered, accepted, possibly later rebuffed neither of you will enjoy serenity because an unspoken ephemeral contract has been violated.

With unconditional love you and the other party, for better or not, are sharing the dignity, respect, and freedom to experience life, warts and all, where 1 or both can each walk away with an inner peace once the ephemeral contract is broken and ceases to remain viable.

A lot of people are not aware of this human capability as psych and behavioral texts will testify. Careers in both fields are booming thanks to that ignorance.

As for terrorists who prefer to kill civilians rather than an equally lethal or stronger opposing force....these bastards don't even deserve the 1st chance IMHO.


And so what about when one person believes that having warts automatically breaks the ephemeral contract? It seems like this logic can be applied a lot to preference, and is then only justified when something is implied to be more significant to one person, rather than sharing the difference and faults of another.

I would say it sounds a tad bit selfish to share something, to only then take it away forever because your own views take supreme priority over that of the one you want to share them with.

Pass the ball!
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Posted 12/8/11

varnlestoff wrote:


hyd16 wrote:

It depends... Cause if a guy or a girl hurt you bad, i mean really bad then all you can do is forgive them but a second chance, HELL'S NO. And a cheater can never change its stripes.


Depends how much stripes mean to you. If you think having that fact forever engraved in truth is bad, just imagine how many skeletons in the closet every other person you ever meet, will have as well. All those silly, mental remnants of the past only cripple you if you let them.\

My most recent teacher is a merited Fire Chief, and one of the things he told me is that everyone puts on masks when they go outside. Now this lecture wasn't anything new to me, we all have different personalities depending on our location and social atmosphere. However, these faces all come together, and in the end it's still your face.

He considered his co-workers family, because he spends more time with them than his real family. When he goes home, he has to change the way he interacts because bringing work home only damages the home atmosphere, and nobody really understands what he goes through at work, so he gets angered easily if he talks about work, only to have people make a conjectures that seem extremely ignorant, false, or "simplistic", when in reality are extremely complex and sensitive.

So the result is just not talking about work, and instead keeping the different places you belong separate, and enjoying them both for different reasons. If he needs to get something off his chest to cope with his work day, he does it at a critical incident stress management meeting, rather than talking to his wife. They can't share all of the same personal issues, because many of them are way over her comprehension. But then they still love each other, because this difference and limitation of subject material is a fact that they learned to understand and accept about each other.

Introspection, trust, and acceptance at it's finest. These are the qualities of a lasting relationship. If this doesn't sound good to you, life may not have hit you full blast yet, or perhaps it's just not the lifestyle you will ever choose.


How does this tie into what l said?
Posted 12/8/11 , edited 12/9/11

hyd16 wrote:

How does this tie into what l said?


Your right, it's not relevant at all, I'm talking about stripes and you said spots!
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Posted 12/8/11 , edited 12/9/11

varnlestoff wrote:

Your right, it's not relevant at all, I'm talking about stripes and you said spots!


No i said stripes but I meant spots, so i changed it. But I understand wat you're saying about bein one way in front of others outside of a relationship, and being another way in front of your significant other.
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Posted 12/8/11
If warts is an issue then that party has a "condition" in his/her pact or contract with you and the outcome would fall under the umbrella of conditional love or "strings attached". I would even suggest conditional love is similar to the life technique of "setting yourself up" for unintended consequences even before any social meeting develops into something. Many people don't realize they even do this outwardly. It seems to be a sub-conscious mindset.

Having unconditional love for anyone does not guarantee either side will receive 100% of what they want or need from the other nor does it suggest perpetual happiness when things go badly or end. I also not suggesting you mirror the attributes of God 100% either (as I doubt any human can) to experience this. With unconditional love you will experience the pain of loss and suffer the emotional consequences inherent in any relationship that ends poorly. But at least with this type of love you can heal yourself after letting the other party recede out of your life.

And again, re terrorists: if these people freely choose to be murderers....they deserve no chance IMHO.
Posted 1/4/12
Second chances are painful.
Posted 1/5/12
depends on how sincere the apology is
Posted 1/28/12
We don't always get what we deserve. Why chance it?
Plus, I don't think we can or should ever be 100% certain of anything.
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Posted 1/28/12
Somebody that wastes their 1st chance intentionally doesn't deserve a second one.
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Posted 1/30/12
Second chance at what? If they ever did something bad enough to get me annoyed, it'll have to be REALLY bad, like eating my cat, or raping me in my sleep. So, I guess I don't really believe in second chances...
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Posted 1/30/12
If everyone thinks there's no second chance, they would try harder to not fail and succeed at first time.
It's a mind thing.
Posted 1/30/12
If you didn't spend your first chance being an asshole, then your second chance wouldn't even exist. But most likely, second chances and I don't flow well.
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