Vampirella Meets Spiderman and Red Sonja
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Posted 10/13/11

Vampirella trapped in Spidey’s web.

I’m Spiderman and once again Kulan Gath has teamed me up with Red Sonja. Sonja is a beautiful redhead with and incredible figure that’s barely covered by an armored bikini. Fortunately we are on better terms this time and Sonja has warmed up to my charm and wit. She calls me her Spidey! We have been out on horseback for the last few hours setting up some spider webs to see if we catch anyone interesting. We double back and find an incredibly beautiful woman caught in my web. She looked like a gorgeous butterfly. There she was with her brown hair, brown eyes and proud demeanor barely clothed with a red costume of some sort.
Like all redheads, Sonja has a quick temper. She tells me that we have caught a vampire! Quickly she produces a mallet and a wooden stake from her bag and says she will deal with this vampire by slowly driving the stake through her heart! Hearing that announcement our captive let out a squeak and shot a terrified glance my way. I don’t enjoy seeing vampires getting stakes driven through their hearts and my spider sense told me we could trust this one.
I pulled Sonja aside and whispered to her that while I respect her feelings on the matter that my spider sense told me we could trust our captive. I told her we should take a chance this time and cut the captive vampire down and talk with her. Sonja said she would have a fire started in a few minutes and would have hot coals with which to interrogate the prisoner. The captive squeaked again, apparently not wanting to be tortured. I said I would cut her down but that I expected her to be honest with us and not try anything because Sonja had the stake at the ready.
As I cut her down I noticed she was carrying a bag containing some items. I quickly grabbed the bag and began to look through the contents. I asked her what her name is and she said she was Vampirella. With that Sonja snorted. Then I asked Vampirella what was in her bag. I pointed to some jugs containing a liquid and she said it was a serum she used to feed on so she wouldn’t have to drink blood. I replied, Babe, you interest me strangely, tell me more.
Vampy, as I call her, said she came looking for Sonja and I because she was an enemy of Kulan Gath too and had a plan to kill him. She said she needed our help. She said he was hiding with some top lieutenants in a cave a days ride away and that by stealth we could kill Gath. Sonja exclaimed that maybe I would believe her if she showed as much skin as Vampy did. I said they were both overly exposed. They both blushed. Vampy made a drawing on the ground to illustrate her plan. She said I could block the exit to the cave with my web to prevent any escapes but we would have to act quickly. We would use the other entrance at the top to get in. It sounded interesting to me.
As usual Sonja was a doubter but Vampy promised that if she was lying, she could drive her stake through her heart. Sonja grudgingly agreed. She tied Vampy’s hands and loaded her on her horse and climbed on behind her. I got on my horse and we took off. We traveled silently with Vampy giving us directions. We had to stop for the night. It got cold and I was grateful for my heavy blanket. I felt sorry for Vampy though. I was relieved that Sonja shared her blanket with her, though she remained tied.
In the morning Vampy indicated that the cave was close at hand. We ate silently. Vampy drank from her jug. She said that once Gath was dead I would be returned to my time and place so we should be ready for that. Before getting on our horses Sonja untied Vampy and said it wasn’t worth it to keep her tied up. Shortly we reached the front entrance of the cave. We could hear voices in the cave and one of them sounded like Kulan Gath.
I quickly and quietly put a heavy web across the front entrance of the cave. We went to the top of the hill to the other entrance. Vampy suggested we might want to tie her to a tree first but Sonja said we would need Vampy in the cave and gave her a sword. In we went. Sonja is a one-woman killing machine. Vampy is a great fighter too. I helped out as best I could. Sonja stabbed Kulan Gath in the heart. Before I disappeared she came to me and I slid off my mask and we had a farewell kiss. Then I was back home.


Suddenly, my Spidey was gone. One instant he was in my arms and then he wasn’t! It felt like a hole was left in my heart. Vampirella hugged me and said she was sorry and we had a short cry. But there is work to be done. Vampirella is stronger than she seemed as she helped load Kulan Gath’s body on Spidey’s horse. She agreed to travel part of the way back to my fortress with me. We shared my horse and had time to talk. I told her I was sorry to have mistrusted her so much but she said there were plenty of bad vampires around and that she was committed to fighting against them. She said my Spidey was a good man and said that if it was fate’s will we would meet again. I told her she was a good woman and that I hopped things would end up well for her.
It came time to part ways. She said she had more things to do elsewhere. We parted with a hug and I continued to my fortress. I announced upon my arrival that Kulan Gath was dead! I sent out runners to announce the death of our foe. I sent out burial teams to dispose of the bodies in the cave. Now I can consolidate my Queendom in peace!

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