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Why is disciplining children by spanking them good/bad?
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Posted 12/10/11

Currently in the U.S.:

When an adult does it to another adult, its sexual battery:
http://hamptonroads.com/2011/12/va-beach-restaurateur-pleads-guilty-sexual-battery:

When children do it to adults, its a "deviant sexual prank":
http://www.theday.com/article/20101207/NWS04/101209750

When an adult does it to a person under the age of 18, its "good discipline".
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Posted 12/12/11

MMead wrote:


In light of Judge Adams video,

We often hear from those who fight to uphold this practice for those under the age of 18 (even to the blaming of the social maladies of the day on a supposed "lack" of it), but we rarely, if ever, find advocates for the return of corporal punishment to the general adult community, college campuses, inmate population, or military. Why is that?

Ask ten unyielding proponents of child/adolescent/teenage-only "spanking" about the "right" way to do it, and what would be abusive, indecent, or obscene, and you will get ten different answers.

These proponents should consider making their own video-recording of the "right way" to do it.


Research/recommended reading:

Spanking Can Make Children More Aggressive Later
http://tulane.edu/news/releases/pr_03122010.cfm

Spanking Kids Increases Risk of Sexual Problems
http://www.unh.edu/news/cj_nr/2008/feb/lw28spanking.cfm

Use of Spanking for 3-Year-Old Children and Associated Intimate Partner Aggression or Violence
http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/cgi/content/abstract/126/3/415

Spanking Children Can Lower IQ
http://www.unh.edu/news/cj_nr/2009/sept/lw25straus.cfm

Plain Talk About Spanking
by Jordan Riak
http://www.nospank.net/pt2010.pdf

The Sexual Dangers of Spanking Children
by Tom Johnson
http://nospank.net/sdsc2.pdf

"Spanking" can be intentional or unintentional sexual abuse
http://www.nospank.net/101.htm



thanks for the links! they're really helpful! =]
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Posted 12/27/11
I think it comes back to parenting and the kid. My mom used moderation in when I got whipped and I never got a spanking I didn't fully deserve, but I was able to make the connection that I got whipped because I'd broken the rules in a serious enough way to warrant it. However my brother's step-son never could make the connection, but then again he and his wife weren't that good at metering out disipline and the kid was as stupid as a summer day is long......
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23 / M / Guess
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Posted 12/27/11
Easy- spanking, whipping, birching, caning, switching, and paddling are necessary for a Child's education. There is, I dare say, nothing more necessary, than to punish the Child. Why, even the Holy Scripture says: He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes. It is a necessity for any sensible education. Children these days are lacking in it, they are running around, with no sense of firmness whatsoever. No, a good whipping would make them firm. Firmness is the base upon which all other virtues are stacked upon, firmness is the beginning of all good character.
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Posted 12/28/11
Spanking cool if your not in a rage filled state of mind. I would never let kids dictate my state of mind because that would mean there in-charge and not me.
Posted 1/6/12
Kids these days can get away with anything.

"Go to your room" is no longer a punishment because everything they need/want to have fun is located in their rooms.

I witnessed a child say to his mother "I'll call the NSPCC on you!" because she went to slap him on the backside.

Your ass is a cushioned area and can handle a little beating. The stinging sensation will play in your mind the next time you decide to disobey your parents.

Of course you'll get some nutters who will always go a step to far and then it becomes abuse rather than discipline.


Posted 1/6/12 , edited 1/6/12

Chained_Angel wrote:

Kids these days can get away with anything.

"Go to your room" is no longer a punishment because everything they need/want to have fun is located in their rooms.

I witnessed a child say to his mother "I'll call the NSPCC on you!" because she went to slap him on the backside.

Your ass is a cushioned area and can handle a little beating. The stinging sensation will play in your mind the next time you decide to disobey your parents.

Of course you'll get some nutters who will always go a step to far and then it becomes abuse rather than discipline.
Only those who lack discipline will demand obedience from others, either verbally, physically, or both.

What's so different about restricting a child's freedom through isolation, than sentencing someone to jail? And thanks to the Standford Prison experiment, social scientists knew just how harmful this can be on individuals' psyche.

What's worst is this intentional deception from the parents, of how they hide physical violence through methods of concealment. This will only teach children how to hide an otherwise abusive relationship, along with their mark of needless shame and blame.

Finally, when discipline can be nurtured without the use of violence. This dependence on corporal punishment is nothing more that stupid superstition and childish behavior coming from the so-called "adults". And the lack of thoughtfulness is the cause for an undisciplined mind.

Damon Horowitz: Philosophy in prison
Damon Horowitz teaches philosophy through the Prison University Project, bringing college-level classes to inmates of San Quentin State Prison. In this powerful short talk, he tells the story of an encounter with right and wrong that quickly gets personal.

Adora Svitak: What adults can learn from kids
Child prodigy Adora Svitak says the world needs "childish" thinking: bold ideas, wild creativity and especially optimism. Kids' big dreams deserve high expectations, she says, starting with grownups' willingness to learn from children as much as to teach.
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24 / M / Pandemonium
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Posted 1/7/12
The only time one should be spanking someone is during "cosy-time".
Posted 1/7/12
I consider the beating of a child to be abuse, and child abuse by its very nature is absurd.

Punishment can be administered in ways which are effective without harming a child, such as deprivation of a favored toy or activity.
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20 / M / England
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Posted 1/8/12
No, spanking only teaches them that violance is a good thing, when it is the very thing you should avoid. Hurting teaches the child nothing else that if you hurt someone you get what you want. They may not do that thing again for what you spanked them for in the next 10 or so years, but when they're 17 they're going to get into fights and loads of other crap because that's what you taught them.

If you have any wish to be a role model to your child, you'll never hit or hurt them and always protect them.
Posted 1/16/12 , edited 1/16/12
I can understand both sides to this. I grew up with it and I think I turned out fine... I think

I remember having a good friend that wasn't disciplined the same way and just had privileges taken away from him. If/when I have kids I'll definitely attempt to go that route first. It still teaches right from wrong and that there are consequences to your actions.

Anyone here that got spankings remember the age they stopped getting them or when their parents realized that wasn't working anymore?
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Posted 1/18/12
I think I used to be spanked once in a while as a kid. The one I most clearly remember was when I swore once as a little kid. The ironic part is I had no idea what I was saying, and only said it because the person spanking me (my dad) had said it when he fell down the stairs. I assumed it was a word that you used when you were in pain and therefore said it when I hit my head. I never got over the unfairness and hypocrisy of it.

I think parents should use it when a kid does something bad and knows they did something bad.
They should always at least try another type of punishment out first, and spanking should be only used when the kid repeats the same action more than once.

Of course, it also depends on how bad what they did was.
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Posted 1/20/12

MMead wrote:


In 31 nations, child corporal punishment is prohibited by law (with more in process). In fact, the US was the only UN member that did not ratify the Convention on the Rights of the Child. The US also has the highest incarc eration rate in the world.

The US states with the highest crime rates, poorest academic performance, highest obesity rates and health problems, poorest economic ranking, and largest public welfare burdens are also the ones with the highest rates of child corporal punishment.

Of all the things prison inmates lacked in their upbringing, "spanking" certainly wasn't one of them.

There is simply no evidence to suggest that child/adolescent/teenage-only "spanking" instills virtue.


ok now prove how spanking as anything to do with any of that (correalation does not prove causation). There is no evidence that spanking doesn't work either. spanking alone doesn't do much by itself, but with other punishments as well as the child understanding why its getting spanked it can be an effective deterent for unpleasant behavior. And in the cases it isnt, there could be other factors that may prevent or aggreivate the effects including but not limited to: misuses, environmental, socio-economic,socilogical, media, genetics, medical conditions (ADD, ADHD), mis diagnosis of said conditions (over medicated),political, age of offender, ect.

Also the point of corporal punishment is not to install virtue but to deter certain behaviors.And i dont know what the big deal about spanking is anyway. I would rather get whipped than grounded for 6 months. The spanking is over in less than a minute and it doesnt leave a bruise. grounding is over in 6 months, and u will get hurt in the process just doing normal chores anyway (like falling down steps, burning hand while cooking, burning tounge while eating, ect).And i would argue the same is true on the adult level. Who wouldnt take a minute whipping over 25 years in prison? Where u will get beat and raped daily anyway.Yea, it will leave marks and blood, but you get to sleep on your stomach...by yourself (two more rape sublte rape jokes :lol:) peace over war
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Posted 1/20/12

DomFortress wrote:


Chained_Angel wrote:

Kids these days can get away with anything.

"Go to your room" is no longer a punishment because everything they need/want to have fun is located in their rooms.

I witnessed a child say to his mother "I'll call the NSPCC on you!" because she went to slap him on the backside.

Your ass is a cushioned area and can handle a little beating. The stinging sensation will play in your mind the next time you decide to disobey your parents.

Of course you'll get some nutters who will always go a step to far and then it becomes abuse rather than discipline.
Only those who lack discipline will demand obedience from others, either verbally, physically, or both.

What's so different about restricting a child's freedom through isolation, than sentencing someone to jail? And thanks to the Standford Prison experiment, social scientists knew just how harmful this can be on individuals' psyche.

What's worst is this intentional deception from the parents, of how they hide physical violence through methods of concealment. This will only teach children how to hide an otherwise abusive relationship, along with their mark of needless shame and blame.

Finally, when discipline can be nurtured without the use of violence. This dependence on corporal punishment is nothing more that stupid superstition and childish behavior coming from the so-called "adults". And the lack of thoughtfulness is the cause for an undisciplined mind.

Damon Horowitz: Philosophy in prison
Damon Horowitz teaches philosophy through the Prison University Project, bringing college-level classes to inmates of San Quentin State Prison. In this powerful short talk, he tells the story of an encounter with right and wrong that quickly gets personal.

Adora Svitak: What adults can learn from kids
Child prodigy Adora Svitak says the world needs "childish" thinking: bold ideas, wild creativity and especially optimism. Kids' big dreams deserve high expectations, she says, starting with grownups' willingness to learn from children as much as to teach.


those who lack discipline will demand obedience from others, either verbally, physically, or both.

Like police officiers? Teachers? Principles? Prison guards? Sometimes agressiveness is justified and so is violence. Like during 9/11/2001, many cops, firefighters, and others had to be aggressive in order to rescue people. And had to demand obedience to be able to work together. Parents are the same way with their children.

What's so different about restricting a child's freedom through isolation, than sentencing someone to jail? And thanks to the Standford Prison experiment, social scientists knew just how harmful this can be on individuals' psyche

If im not mistaken that particular study focused on the phychologoical effects of BEING a prisoner or prisoner guard. It had nothing to do with solidtary confinement and its effects on the phyche. Which there is no legit study for that because people dont measure a criminal's phyche before they go into prison.

What's worst is this intentional deception from the parents, of how they hide physical violence through methods of concealment. This will only teach children how to hide an otherwise abusive relationship, along with their mark of needless shame and blame.

its kind of hard to hide spanking a child from the child you are spanking. :/ And children dont need to be taught how to hide abusive relationships, they do that already without any help or need of being taught. And if the spanking is deserved, the child should be shamed and blamed.

Finally, when discipline can be nurtured without the use of violence. This dependence on corporal punishment is nothing more that stupid superstition and childish behavior coming from the so-called "adults". And the lack of thoughtfulness is the cause for an undisciplined mind

No one is arguing for a dependence on corporal punishment, but combined with other forms of disipline, it cant be all that harmful when used in moderation. And yes i did read those studies the poster put up, most were simply silly. Especially that IQ one...that brought back some memories about a similiar silly study...peace over war:ph34r:
Posted 1/20/12

JJT2 wrote:


DomFortress wrote:


Chained_Angel wrote:

Only those who lack discipline will demand obedience from others, either verbally, physically, or both.

What's so different about restricting a child's freedom through isolation, than sentencing someone to jail? And thanks to the Standford Prison experiment, social scientists knew just how harmful this can be on individuals' psyche.

What's worst is this intentional deception from the parents, of how they hide physical violence through methods of concealment. This will only teach children how to hide an otherwise abusive relationship, along with their mark of needless shame and blame.

Finally, when discipline can be nurtured without the use of violence. This dependence on corporal punishment is nothing more that stupid superstition and childish behavior coming from the so-called "adults". And the lack of thoughtfulness is the cause for an undisciplined mind.

Damon Horowitz: Philosophy in prison
Damon Horowitz teaches philosophy through the Prison University Project, bringing college-level classes to inmates of San Quentin State Prison. In this powerful short talk, he tells the story of an encounter with right and wrong that quickly gets personal.

Adora Svitak: What adults can learn from kids
Child prodigy Adora Svitak says the world needs "childish" thinking: bold ideas, wild creativity and especially optimism. Kids' big dreams deserve high expectations, she says, starting with grownups' willingness to learn from children as much as to teach.


those who lack discipline will demand obedience from others, either verbally, physically, or both.

Like police officiers? Teachers? Principles? Prison guards? Sometimes agressiveness is justified and so is violence. Like during 9/11/2001, many cops, firefighters, and others had to be aggressive in order to rescue people. And had to demand obedience to be able to work together. Parents are the same way with their children.

What's so different about restricting a child's freedom through isolation, than sentencing someone to jail? And thanks to the Standford Prison experiment, social scientists knew just how harmful this can be on individuals' psyche

If im not mistaken that particular study focused on the phychologoical effects of BEING a prisoner or prisoner guard. It had nothing to do with solidtary confinement and its effects on the phyche. Which there is no legit study for that because people dont measure a criminal's phyche before they go into prison.

What's worst is this intentional deception from the parents, of how they hide physical violence through methods of concealment. This will only teach children how to hide an otherwise abusive relationship, along with their mark of needless shame and blame.

its kind of hard to hide spanking a child from the child you are spanking. :/ And children dont need to be taught how to hide abusive relationships, they do that already without any help or need of being taught. And if the spanking is deserved, the child should be shamed and blamed.

Finally, when discipline can be nurtured without the use of violence. This dependence on corporal punishment is nothing more that stupid superstition and childish behavior coming from the so-called "adults". And the lack of thoughtfulness is the cause for an undisciplined mind

No one is arguing for a dependence on corporal punishment, but combined with other forms of disipline, it cant be all that harmful when used in moderation. And yes i did read those studies the poster put up, most were simply silly. Especially that IQ one...that brought back some memories about a similiar silly study...peace over war:ph34r:
Don't assume what you didn't know, as in rationalizing organized aggression and violence isn't justifying the immorality of abuse. Spontaneous self-organization during an actual emergency isn't organized "aggression" nor "violence". Therefore your "straw man" fallacy is moot. Furthermore, not every day is 9/11, and civil disobedience for the sake of humanity is a secular virtue called "practical wisdom".

Barry Schwartz: Using our practical wisdom
In an intimate talk, Barry Schwartz dives into the question "How do we do the right thing?" With help from collaborator Kenneth Sharpe, he shares stories that illustrate the difference between following the rules and truly choosing wisely.

And you're wrong on the reality of the Stanford Prison Experiment, the harmful consequences of social isolation through sensory deprivation, and the mandatory/involuntary psychiatric evaluation on criminals as ordered by the court for fair trail.

Moreover, your excuse for spanking, shaming, and blaming doesn't justify the need to hide what's actually domestic abuse. And nobody deserves to be abused. Period.

Finally, when violence without justification only teaches violence without justification through model by example, you're not teaching discipline with moderation. Period.
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