First  Prev  1  2  3  Next  Last
What do you think of this?
Posted 7/17/12
It seems like her mother has harsh times but nether less it still isn't right to take it out on her daughter. IMO I think taking a shower and pondering to yourself is the best type of therapy. At that time you can reflect on a lot of things and take out a lot of emotions rather than taking it out on someone or something else.

Overall if the environment of that has been carried on for years then I generally don't think that it's a good thing for anyone to stay in a house like that because it will be affecting the person way of thinking in the future. It is ethically wrong. However don't be afraid to try talk to a person who acts like this even if it is embarrassing for yourself, it may also be embarrassing for the other person too. But as soon as you both begin to talk to one another, is when you will begin to understand each other and it may lead to healing.
6414 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
21 / F / Uk
Offline
Posted 7/17/12
well am not sure
try to accept the insults without getting too angry
and try to help her with her problems
i guess that's the least i could do for my mother
47 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
F / Finland
Offline
Posted 7/17/12
I don't like it, ,the moment u become a parent, you should be prepared to give your kid a good life and not burdening the kid with your own problems...
36322 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
26 / F / Where am I?
Offline
Posted 7/17/12
Having experienced this, it sucks. I honestly can't tell you how many times I regretted moving in with my mother after living with my father for a few years. And I can't tell you how many times the thought of running away crossed my mind. Luckily, as pissed off as it made me for the longest time; my mother kicked me out and I moved in with my uncle.

My mother and I never really had that great a relationship after her separation and divorce from my younger brother's father (who is different from mine). She'd call me lazy, dumb, a bitch, whore, a backstabber, and number of others. She even allowed her current husband to do the same.
48365 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
23 / M / El Paso, TX
Offline
Posted 7/17/12

eclair-lumiere wrote:

Parents who do that are evil. They shouldn't be allowed to have kids if they are not gonna act like parents


My thoughts exactly. People who aren't prepared to have children shouldn't have children. If you don't have the patience and understanding to raise a child with a proper attitude, rather than emotional torment, you need to think seriously before having a child. IMO, verbal and emotional child abuse needs to be way more punishable by law than it currently is, and I would love see this cracked down on better. If a parent is constantly, verbally abusing their child, that child should be taken away.

I've seen way too many suicides because of emotional abuse from parents. This kind of thing really sickens me, and it's even worse that there's so little that someone experiencing this can do about it.

Posted 7/17/12
ugh, I really hate it. It's a totally bitch move.
Posted 7/17/12
first of all none of that would of happend if the person just kept there room clean its not that hard to clean a room correctly i know if i was a parent i wouldint want lazy kids id want kids that did there choirs with out being told to and the kids would allways keep there room clean other then that i could care less wht they did aslong as they didint cause trouble
57179 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
117 / M
Offline
Posted 7/17/12

animegirl2222 wrote:

OK, a girl, let's call her, erm... Anna (she's a teenager) has this mother. Her mother is usually nice, or in an ok mood, but sometimes she puts Anna down, a lot, because she isn't gleeful or happy that day and her daughter is. Her mother is divorced, and is still dealing with lots of stress.

One day Anna had to clean up her rather messy room. Her mother had been cleaning all day, and according to her mother's boyfriend, Anna's mom was really pissed.

Anyway, once she was done cleaning (she started after entering the house, pretty much) , she told her mother, who examined it and exclaimed that her daughter did a really horrible job and she was a stupid lazy ass. She dumped out some things in boxes that Anna had forgotten to clean and began to rummage through everything. Soon the room was messy again. Her mother called her more shitty names, and then left her to clean up the new mess because she couldn't find a library book that Anna's sister needed to return.


Anyyyyyyyyway, what do you think of parents emotionally putting down their kids / teens? I don't like it, to say the least, considering I've experienced a lot myself, but I was wondering what you think...


It's definitely wrong to call your own child names, assuming that's what actually happened - I wouldn't judge the mother unless I was there and saw this happen. There's always a possibility that the daughter exaggerated the name calling and that she didn't understand the mothers frustration and took it as abusive. People tend to think themselves innocent and blow up anything that happens to them to make it sound much worse.

I came from a family where both parents called me extremely belittling names from as young as 4ish that my memory goes back to. I was called fat, unwanted and all the vulgar swears that you'd expect to hear in a Chris Rock stand up comedy show... So I know how it feels as a person that was mistreated. I sometimes struggle with my own anger control caused by 2 angry bitter parents. My advice to this girl is "do not become what you dislike in your own parents" ...I wish everyone could be told that before they follow the never ending path.
49227 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
F / Somewhere in the...
Offline
Posted 7/17/12
It's tough to live with this kind of thing. If her mom can't change then Anna is left with trying to "sift the wheat from the chaff". What does her mom want from her versus how her mom is delivering the message.

The problem is that the "chaff" get's stuck to us. People, especially parents, shouldn't communicate in an abusive manner. The manner in which our parents behave becomes our parenting model. Occasionally I've felt like I was "swimming through lava" trying not parrot my parents.

Even saying "only bums live that way" can be heard as "you're a bum". As a parent I have tried, not always successfully, to look at how my child will carry his experiences, as much as the concepts we've tried to teach, into the future. I try to consider what his "self-talk" is going to be as well as how will he view himself and how he will communicate to others.

Most likely Anna will not become an adult who treats non-family members this way. But, as a parent, she will struggle not to be like her mom. She can have kids and be a great mom, she'll just have to work harder at it. Anna could start now by considering, for herself, who she is and what kind of person she wants to be. She should look at how thoroughly she handles responsibilities and how she interacts with the other household members, regardless of her feelings for them. She should do it for her current and future self.

If you're not Anna, but were still present for that I bet you feel abused as well.
Posted 7/17/12
Sounds like a drunk to me. Either way, If I were Anna I wouldn't have put anything back, and justified myself.
"Wow Mom, now it really IS messy just like you said".

Sarcastic shit like that.
28724 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
26 / F / New Zealand
Offline
Posted 7/17/12
My stepmother is big on emotional putdowns. The more people she can embarrass you in front of, the better. Like, giving you a g-string and bra set for your 12th birthday and telling you to put it on in front of your grandmother. Or getting you to weigh yourself in the living room so everyone can see. Saying things like "I bought your new uniform, I hope you don't grow too big for it over the summer". "My kids are going to be so much smarter and prettier than you". I could go on and on and on...
First  Prev  1  2  3  Next  Last
You must be logged in to post.