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Hello all loners out there
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27 / M
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Posted 12/23/11 , edited 12/24/11
Do not TRY. You will come off as desperate and nobody likes that.

I had my first girl at 18, around your age. At the time, I didn't try at all. I was just talking to her and she happened to be bold, so things happened.


Also, if you have never been in a relationship, you will not miss having one, which is an entirely different issue altogether. It's like never having had an addictive drug. Sometimes, I wish I never had a relationship. They are very troublesome in their own right. You can't say that being single is better than being in a relationship or vice versa. I see it as just our hormones talking to us. When things are good, they can be pretty awesome, but when things suck....you feel MUCH worse than you would if you were single and looking for someone in vain.

After my experiences, I no longer want a serious relationship. Find cool people and just have fun and enjoy life. If you can't live by yourself, you certainly won't be able to live with a companion. There is a lot of responsibility if you want to be a good boyfriend. More than you think.
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Posted 12/24/11
You don't need a girlfriend to be happy. I'm not sure who came up with idea "I need a girlfriend" but like you it was ticking me off as well. Then I realized I've lasted this long without a girlfriend and have i needed one? no. You've gotten this far without one, you sure don't need one now. You only think you need one because of society and media re-enforcing the Idea of couples and love. You only live once, make the best of it, and find something that will make you happy. ~ In Yuki Nagato we trust.
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20 / M / Somewhat in Asia.
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Posted 12/24/11 , edited 12/24/11
I was in love once, but I regret it. You should be lucky that you're not in love. Anyway, you're still young and there are many years for you so don't give up.

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M / USA
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Posted 12/24/11

Morbidhanson wrote:

Do not TRY. You will come off as desperate and nobody likes that.

I had my first girl at 18, around your age. At the time, I didn't try at all. I was just talking to her and she happened to be bold, so things happened.


Also, if you have never been in a relationship, you will not miss having one, which is an entirely different issue altogether. It's like never having had an addictive drug. Sometimes, I wish I never had a relationship. They are very troublesome in their own right. You can't say that being single is better than being in a relationship or vice versa. I see it as just our hormones talking to us. When things are good, they can be pretty awesome, but when things suck....you feel MUCH worse than you would if you were single and looking for someone in vain.

After my experiences, I no longer want a serious relationship. Find cool people and just have fun and enjoy life. If you can't live by yourself, you certainly won't be able to live with a companion. There is a lot of responsibility if you want to be a good boyfriend. More than you think.


Wise words.

Two things:

If looking for a partner, show interest but not expectation.

If not looking for a partner, be happy with you are and enjoy the life you have.

Neither are mutually exclusive though.
Posted 12/24/11
Okay I skimmed through what you had to say, not trying to be mean but sometimes you just need the swag. and if you don't have swag.. ladies won't want that booty.
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27 / M
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Posted 12/24/11

kufirst wrote:


Morbidhanson wrote:

Do not TRY. You will come off as desperate and nobody likes that.

I had my first girl at 18, around your age. At the time, I didn't try at all. I was just talking to her and she happened to be bold, so things happened.


Also, if you have never been in a relationship, you will not miss having one, which is an entirely different issue altogether. It's like never having had an addictive drug. Sometimes, I wish I never had a relationship. They are very troublesome in their own right. You can't say that being single is better than being in a relationship or vice versa. I see it as just our hormones talking to us. When things are good, they can be pretty awesome, but when things suck....you feel MUCH worse than you would if you were single and looking for someone in vain.

After my experiences, I no longer want a serious relationship. Find cool people and just have fun and enjoy life. If you can't live by yourself, you certainly won't be able to live with a companion. There is a lot of responsibility if you want to be a good boyfriend. More than you think.


Wise words.

Two things:

If looking for a partner, show interest but not expectation.

If not looking for a partner, be happy with you are and enjoy the life you have.

Neither are mutually exclusive though.


Yes. Life should be as simple as possible. Whichever way it goes, give it your all.

If you are single, live the single life to its fullest. If you are in a relationship, put your heart into pleasing your partner.
Posted 12/24/11 , edited 12/24/11



I see there's some advantages on either sides.
I am a loner as well,but no more I long for any sort of relationship.Being alone I feel stronger than others,How??
Look dude for my emotional pacification,I needn't to bank upon anyone.I know I am all for me,it only me who has to comfort myself,unlike others I needn't depend upon anyone neither I have to adjust myself suiting their needs.It also depends on your partner's mood whether or not "she" is interested to comfort you & understand your unspoken words at your times of dilemma.I have same attitude as yours,I respect "girls".But I am not tired of being alone,may be I haven't reached my breaking point yet.
I am 22 now,although I get feelings as yours that's getting ignored when I looking around & notice so lovely couples,still I cheer up myself by these words "WHAT OTHERS DO,DOESN'T MEANS THAT I MUST DO AS WELL".
I feel lucky for escaping those emotional sickness due to "BREAK UPS".And finally I get freedom over 3 major aspects of life.
1.Freedom of thought[I need not to thought of my soul mate always,regarding her well being & wishes.I can waste my mind at any thing else.]
2.Freedom of action[I needn't fear anyone for any of my act,I needn't to bother for anyone's impression upon me.I can concentrate more upon whatever task I undertake.]
3.Freedom of speech[Strictly speaking I am not a perv but still I won't hesitate to speak how beautiful does a "girl" looks if anyone ever asks me,it's because I needn't fear what my girlfriend will think of it]
For me I consider those are quite emotionally weak who seek for words of comfort or love from others,which I don't seek for.You may take it as words of ego,but I assure you I have no feelings of contempt towards such people(which makes these words ego less).
It's because I myself sometimes consider a relationship,a true one with lot of love is good.There's someone who will think of you,who will ask for you & who will at least speak or bother to know "why you are sad" or "why you are acting such way,is there something bothering you","why don't you share those with me".Well those sweet words are of course a reward.At that point I feel to be a loser being at my current state,while on the other side you will loose a life of freedom.

People often say "Love is never done,it just happens".Success seems to be largely a matter of hanging on after you let it go.So just be patient.The more you will be impatient,the more you will be distressed & this will lead to a pathetic end of your hope or aspiration to be in a relationship.Being impatient too much you will run out of the reserve of your interest or hope before time & will no more wish to be in a relationship,even though there will be opportunities of your interest waiting for you.
I hope you understood my words.

Well if you think it's hormonal,then there are other ways to calm down yourself,which I prefer not to speak here...........
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24 / M / UK
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Posted 12/24/11 , edited 12/24/11
Not exactly a loner but as a fellow single person I can probably share some "wise" words:

-> Your existence shouldn't revolve around a significant other. IMO this mode of thinking is a waste of a life that could be used doing something great. So instead of being "Forever Alone", find something you're passionate about. Once you do, your enthusiasm may envelop others, including members of the opposite sex, making them more interested in you. This is a good thing.
-> Put yourself out there. If you go to school/college, join some clubs (this ties in to the "passion" thing earlier). Talking to other girls is much easier once you have something to, you know, actually talk about. Small talk can go hang itself.
-> If you don't have Facebook, get it. A very easy way to converse with girls you've seen before but never really had a chance to talk to.

This may sound like an alcoholic telling someone else how to stop drinking, but I thought I might as well pass on some advice I've received over the years.
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24 / in darkness where...
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Posted 12/24/11 , edited 12/24/11
i can't say i'm totally a loner coz i have some people who are important for me.
i don't have any romantic relationship since birth either.

there are times i feel lonely too and i admit i'm kinda jealous at people who have a relationship BUT it just stops there/ i try to stop it there...
i'm really curious what it would be like to have one and what it would feel like to be deep in love with someone but i didn't try to explore love for i haven't meet someone who have made my heart go "doki doki" lol!

anyways, what i always think every time i feel lonely is just this phrase "love will find me not I" i do believe love will come in a time so i'll wait besides responsibilities is a must priority for me for now, so i can't engage into romance.. being single is also a blessing in some ways for you can have time to know more about yourself just like me, i'm still in the process of getting to know more about myself and the people all around me..while ur single go find your purpose in life/ try to make yourself productive...don't worry ur not alone in this kind of thing!

p.s: you can engage into activities that you can meet various people it'll help you out... don't give up, there's still more ahead of us! i do hope u'll meet someone who can love you and who you can love back ^_^ gambatte!
Posted 12/24/11
OMG! Someone soothe my aching heart!
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20 / M / South Carolina
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Posted 12/24/11
Dude...chillax. You can look on the bright side of things as well. You have more time to yourself rather than spending time worrying about your girlfriend and you save a HUGE amount of money. No need to get gifts or diamonds or necklaces. No need to rush.
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24 / F / Pennsylvania
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Posted 12/24/11
I know the feeling... very well, actually. There's someone out there for everyone, right?
And just so you know, there are girls out there who prefer the nice guy over the bad boy. Generally, we like guys who are assertive... not ones who treat us like shit
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26 / M / only kami neko knows
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Posted 12/24/11
Fuck you emo kid.
Posted 12/24/11
"Welcome to real life"- Captain Lonestar
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34 / M
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Posted 12/24/11
Well as a 29 year old, I think I've suffered far longer and much worse than Big A has. My luck with females never hit 2nd gear, never. I met two girls on the internet, then visited them in their respective states, and thought that the two relationships were sure-things.

Turns out they weren't, especially the 2nd one. I've always been promised things, but never delivered. Have I did some mistakes with females, of course. We all do.

But I truly feel that I am cursed from being in a relationship. Then lately I've observed girls and I just wanted to give up. Most girls today...yeah I'm gonna say it, are too fucking stuck up, always wanna go "clubbing", only interested in how many times they can get fucked, none of them truly stand out and show indiviuality, no display of class among them which explains why you always see their butt cracks when they sit down or kneel over.

And I just don't get it. I was told "you're a sweetheart, you always understand how a girl feels, you treat a girl with respect, you're so affectionate and enjoys being snuggled all the time", etc etc. So much that I offer for a single lonely girl out there.

But there are problems and issues though. My interests in things are very little, I don't have a car---hell I can't even drive one, I don't think I'm very good looking, I often think I'm boring, my sense of humor hardly every shows up, and a host of other things I won't get into.

And when I finished high school (I didn't go to college), I was hoping to find a woman, get married, start a family. I have a job...part-time, my own place to live (I live alone), but yet I don't have a woman in my life.

I guess I shouldn't worry about having a woman anymore, but it's just when I see cuples together, I seethe inside. I become a "queen nehelenia".

I used to be in an anime group, but I quit over some drama and not being very comfortable with some of the people in it. Hell it didn't feel like an anime group most of the time. So please don't recommend groups to me.

Also, don't recommend bars or nightclubs or places like that ether.

But I do have one question, is it true that a great place to meet people (notice I say people, I'll explain later) is a bookstore or library? What about coffee shops? Starbucks and the others?

Finally DO NOT recommend any online dating. Too me they're scams and I just don't believe they really work. I've been there with meeting girls online and been scammed too much. I prefer face to face interaction.

And while I always mention Mutsumi Otohime from "Love Hina" in any thread about anime girls as my dream woman, I know for a fact that there is no such girl like Mutsumi out there. Heh even if she was she'd be taken at this point.

She doesn't have to be Mutsumi, just be herself and show me that she truly has indiviuality that makes her different and stand out from the rest. As mentioned before, I like being snuggled and held often, among many affectionate things. I know most guys don't like that, I do. Seeing her looking happy as she's holding me makes very happy too.

Look I don't make a lot of money, and as mentioned earlier I don't have a car. As long as I can give her my heart, that's what is most important.

And I used to be like Big A, these days I've gotten over it and try my best not to let it get to me. But it's hard. I see a dude treating a woman badly and I'm like "she would be much better off with someone like me. I would treat her like a person, compared to him treating her like a damn dog".

So that's what I wanted to say. I hope I get a ton of responses to this, as well as answers to the library and coffee shop questions. Not to mention some recommendations that aren't related to what I don't want as I mentioned earlier.
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