japanese men
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29 / F / uk, sheffield
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Posted 1/5/12
i am curious i love japanese culture very much and dream of going there for a visit. but first i need to know how do they feel about african people, would they date or be friends with one or is it strange for them. am dying to go to japan but i need to no that id be wlc there . i want to hav gud experience.
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Posted 1/6/12
Interesting question. I'm sure that you'll be welcome, but you will probably always be considered the "foreigner". Friend' yes, date maybe not so much. I only know one Japanese guy that's ever been with an african woman. And I know that I don't know every single Japanese man so it doesn't count for much, but we japanese people have a hive mind, so it's pretty close.
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27 / F / PLACES
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Posted 1/21/12
I'm black. I went. I stayed hit on.
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M / US
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Posted 1/26/12
im half japanese. ive lived there.... not all japanese men will go for it but you'll be fine. yea, you may be 'gaijin' but they'll also find you exotic
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27 / F / PLACES
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Posted 1/26/12
Also, something to remember (to the OP) is that the dating scene is a lot different in Japan. Men don't tend to be as assertive there as they are here. It's not always a lack of interest, it's more of him being shy.
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17 / F / United States
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Posted 2/23/12
I feel the same way as you.... I'm half African and I would love to visit one day in the future, but I'm always worrying about how they would feel....
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27 / F / Sweden
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Posted 2/27/12
Well why care about the looks? as that is nothing if it is not a nice person behind it?
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29 / F
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Posted 2/28/12
Interesting question
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18 / M / Japan / Hyogo
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Posted 4/24/12
I live in Japan, and I see some people from different country (US, Korea, Africa, British and so on) in train everyday.
We Japanese don't feel it strange.
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21 / M
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Posted 4/24/12
Maybe you should concentrate on the location rather than on people in general?

I mean, surely in capital or in a large city people will be much friendly and less surprised than in a small town...
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19 / F / behind you
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Posted 4/28/12

Ardorm wrote:

Maybe you should concentrate on the location rather than on people in general?

I mean, surely in capital or in a large city people will be much friendly and less surprised than in a small town...


Very true, in Tokyo they will be used to foreigners so it'll be somewhat easier to make friends rather than in country sides and the such where they have less encounters with foreigners.

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29 / F / Kumamoto, Japan
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Posted 5/10/12

fulani-chan wrote:

i am curious i love japanese culture very much and dream of going there for a visit. but first i need to know how do they feel about african people, would they date or be friends with one or is it strange for them. am dying to go to japan but i need to no that id be wlc there . i want to hav gud experience.


I am going to reply to this without reading any of the other comments.

Quite a few things are taken into consideration by Japanese men here in Japan. At least in my area. It should be known that there is a slowly rising problem where people in Japan do not want to date, get married and/or have children. In fact, the current Japanese population isn't even replacing itself (each family, in a best-case scenario, should have three children. One to each replace mom and dad, and one extra...). So there is that rising problem, but I don't think it would affect your dating a Japanese man, per say.

Next it depends on your age. If you're over 25, there may be a good possibility that he has no interest in you. Most of my male students, even in their early to late 30s, state they would prefer to find a girl under the age of 25 years of age. After that age, at least if you're Japanese, your "shelf life" is beginning to run out. By the age of 30, if you are not married men will begin to think there is something wrong with you to make you undesirable for marriage.

Which brings me to the next bit of information: if you've ever been divorced you're probably up shit-creek without a paddle. Most Japanese men do not want to date someone who has been divorced. It is very rare. When I ask my male students about the issue they all strongly state that if a woman has been divorced that there must be some sort of stigma with her and they would rather avoid it--when given a hypothetical situation (e.g. what if she was physically and mentally abused and you would never know the reason she left him was because of the abuse because you wouldn't give her the time of day) they still stuck by their guns but mostly added, "It's sad, but I don't want to be with someone who has been divorced."

Now, on to the third and possibly the biggest deal breaker in dating in Japan... If you have a child! Almost all Japanese men will avoid single mothers. No one wants to be responsible for another man's kid. It is sad, but true. I have seen it many times. The woman, honestly, pretty much prepares to spend the rest of her life alone no matter how old she is and no matter how beautiful she is. And if that child has a disorder of any kind, it's even worse. I have a student who is a single mother with a disabled child. The father up and abandoned the family a long time ago and she's pretty much told me she's given up on finding anyone who will accept her family (she and her son).

Japanese men, if they haven't been to another country (and this isn't always the case) are usually... well, I haven't met one I want to date. There are two things to keep into consideration with Japanese culture. The biggest thing is ]honne and tatemae. It's hard to tell what some people are thinking here. Moreso than in America, at least for me.

As for your skin color--you are exotic in Japan and there are people in Japan who would give their left nut to have a night with you, I'm sure. I know it sounds horrible, but if you're heavily overweight you might have an issue in Japan. I mean no disrespect when I say this, either. It's just most people here are sticks with legs as big around as my arms... But, honestly, you have to be careful. Like in any country, men will feign interest in you in the hopes that it eventually means sex for them. If they think you're American they sometimes assume one night stands are a thing and they'll try for it. But there are also some men who will put some time and effort into the possibility of sex, and then they disappear as soon as they get it.

Long story short, men are men. I think there is some racism in Japan (I'm white and sometimes experience it, so I'm unsure about people from other ethnic backgrounds). Foreign women dating Japanese men is harder than foreign men dating Japanese women. If you don't know near-fluent Japanese (or if they don't know any English), it makes dating near impossible--but not totally impossible.
Posted 5/10/12
depends on the indervigule what there in to not like the uk were u be looked at evil by a white British xd but then again down to indervigul
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Posted 5/16/12

wow, that was quite informative!

i've pondered on this a bit too (in regards to being a black male), so it's interesting to hear all these viewpoints.
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Posted 5/18/12
i never imagined i would be married to a japanese man but then here we are, and a little one running around now, too. (although i am not black, but i am certainly not japanese). i think if it's the right person, japanese or not, you'll find him. in fact i think you'll realize it's not as bad as you think, but it's also good to know of the horror stories (which i'm sure you've already read about).
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