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aggressiveness in yaoi
Posted 2/20/12
Sekai Ichi Hatsuoki (sp?) is 1st yaoi I'm watching, tho I've seen bits, pieces of other ones. Storyline, art, comedy great. Only watched 2 episodes so far but do want to watch all. Junjou Romantica too.

One thing bothers me about yaoi anime & manga I've seen so far: The aggressiveness of the seme when he makes the moves on the uke. Instead of tenderness, too often it's a "force him down & make him holler" moment. That is love?! Um, not by me.

Esp. in scenes building up to sex, I find it disturbing to see the poor uke crying, filled with fear, etc. while the seme essentially attacks him. That looks a lot like rape to me.

Sure, you can say, "But the uke really does want it, he's just inexperienced & *needs* a firm hand to push him along." But if I were the seme, I'd be more considerate of the poor kid's feelings.

I'm not trying to start a flame war, just thoughtful discussion.

And please, don't tell me it's "cultural" and therefore acceptable. Female circumcision in Africa is cultural and most of us would agree it's a bad thing. Honor killings of young women in some middle east places is "cultural" but that doesn't make it right.

Thanks everyone.

http://uk.answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Aqw4nqOrI5Tfp42FB0VySmRJBgx.;_ylv=3?qid=20111007000942AAZeeyr
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Posted 2/21/12
Sekai Ichi Hatsukoi is also the first yaoi I've ever watched, even as a dude I did enjoy it, except for the forced man-on-man parts and pretty sure it could be called rape in one particular part (don't want to spoil it for ya so just gonna have to watch for yourself). since I don't have much experience with yaoi I don't know if this aggressiveness a recurring theme, but since yaoi is mostly for a particular audience maybe that's just what they want.
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Posted 2/21/12
Yeah you kinda make a point about the surprise sex thing. lol I watched Junjou Romantica and Sekai Ichi Hatsukoi, but never saw any other yaoi anime. I probably won't either because at least the creator of Junjou and Sekai Ichi makes the story more lively with the funniness and cuteness. Makes it seem less harsh. I think male on male anime are usually like that to make the men appear more masculine and stuff.
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Posted 2/21/12

KittyClaws wrote:

Yeah you kinda make a point about the surprise sex thing. lol I watched Junjou Romantica and Sekai Ichi Hatsukoi, but never saw any other yaoi anime. I probably won't either because at least the creator of Junjou and Sekai Ichi makes the story more lively with the funniness and cuteness. Makes it seem less harsh. I think male on male anime are usually like that to make the men appear more masculine and stuff.


You're probably thinking about the more hardcore stuff like Ai no Kusabi, because the majority of the yaois I've read are humorous..The hilariously storylines and one-liners are what makes yaoi stand out because the majority of them aren't serious.

And personaly, I do think some yaois are like okaaay, that's kind of rough...But you find those more in the yaois that are just meant to be shy of soft core porn because it doesn't really have a solid storyline, its just meant to have the typical dominating seme over the reluctant crying uke.

Again the majority of the yaois I've read have been more about the relationships and not the sex scenes. There are plenty like them. And even Sekai Ichi Hatsukoi only 1 out of the 3 couples were "forced" into having sex. The others Kisa and Chiaki were willing, non crying "uke" partners. And the manga shows how willing Ritsu really was lol.

So for yaoi I avoid the primarily sex ones, and find the more romantic ones, and the aggressiveness does seem to be less. And I prefer yaois where the uke really has the upper hand anyways.
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Posted 2/21/12
IMHO.... yaoi is generally more disturbing then tentacle porn.....
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31 / M / Lagrange, KY
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Posted 2/21/12

appletongamer wrote:

IMHO.... yaoi is generally more disturbing then tentacle porn.....


well it's called struggle snuggle for a reason also have read some recent shoujo manga.... well i suppose being aggrieve is okay since most men are passive pussies... me included lol
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Posted 2/21/12
Yeah...I thought the same thing. It makes it harder to enjoy the series for me (Sekai Ichi specifically, I mean.) Consent is such a big deal. :|
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Posted 2/21/12
You guys do realize that they're guys right? they already have a hard time being nice or tender to girls (unless they have to ). Imagine how they are with each other. A guy is already all about sex..and 2 guys, well !!!!
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Posted 2/21/12
Sekai Ichi Hatsukoi is the only yaoi ive seen. It doesn't have any sex scenes in it but I know what you mean. There was a lot of force kissing in it. Sometimes it actually managed to look romantic but that Takano guy was just a douche and I wanted to hit him with a brick.
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30 / F / New Jersey
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Posted 2/21/12
Yeah, most yaoi seems to contain very unhealthy relationships. Im pretty sure irl gay couples never do that sort of thing and if they do it falls into the bdsm catagory. I prefer anime/manga that hints at boy love or is mild, I find it very romantic when it's not shoved bare and bruised into your face.
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Posted 2/22/12
YAOI RULES!!!!! either anime or manga! i'm an uke by the way!
Posted 2/22/12

appletongamer wrote:

IMHO.... yaoi is generally more disturbing then tentacle porn.....


What's tentacle porn? Naughtiness among the octopi and squids?!

Posted 2/22/12

Cecilthedarkknight234 wrote:


appletongamer wrote:

IMHO.... yaoi is generally more disturbing then tentacle porn.....


well it's called struggle snuggle for a reason also have read some recent shoujo manga.... well i suppose being aggrieve is okay since most men are passive pussies... me included lol



Hmm. This makes me wonder, then: If I think a guy (or girl; I like both) is interested in me, but (s)he's younger and more inexperienced than I, and giving me mixed signals & seems a bit scared, does that mean (s)he might actually want me to "seme" him/her? What do you think? What if a woman did that to you -- aggressively came at you like a seme. Would you go along? Run? Punch me? I have no clue.
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Posted 2/22/12

Else-ee wrote:


Cecilthedarkknight234 wrote:


appletongamer wrote:

IMHO.... yaoi is generally more disturbing then tentacle porn.....


well it's called struggle snuggle for a reason also have read some recent shoujo manga.... well i suppose being aggrieve is okay since most men are passive pussies... me included lol



Hmm. This makes me wonder, then: If I think a guy (or girl; I like both) is interested in me, but (s)he's younger and more inexperienced than I, and giving me mixed signals & seems a bit scared, does that mean (s)he might actually want me to "seme" him/her? What do you think? What if a woman did that to you -- aggressively came at you like a seme. Would you go along? Run? Punch me? I have no clue.


.. i have no clue if your hitting me or not but given my fetish i would play along.. ahem on subject if you are new to BOYS LOVE genre it takes a bit to get past but hell i have seen the same thing going on for 15 years now.
Posted 2/22/12

agira wrote:

You guys do realize that they're guys right? they already have a hard time being nice or tender to girls (unless they have to ). Imagine how they are with each other. A guy is already all about sex..and 2 guys, well !!!!


Yes, this has occurred to me. Not being a male homosexual & with no prospects of becoming one soon, I really don't know if the seme/uke stock attack scenes are much of a reflection of reality among how 3D gay men relate to each other. And I'm sure each case is different. And, yes, I know I have to remember that yaoi is largely meant for girls & isn't meant to be overly realistic.

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