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How to keep someone from losing interest in you?
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32 / F / Hangout with Gaara
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Posted 2/22/12 , edited 2/23/12
Try to talk about new topic and switch stuff up and also try to be your self and dont change just for them if they get board to easy then get new friend
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26 / M / Other
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Posted 2/22/12 , edited 2/22/12
ITT: "Be yourself" (which has no inherent meaning).

It's impossible to NOT be yourself as what ever you do you are still you no matter how much you change.
If someone broke into your house and hacked your leg off (and you lived) you would still "be yourself" but you would also be a different person after such a violent assault. What I'm trying (in a round bout way) to say is "be yourself" is soppy lazy meaningless advice, I think the word cliché is appropriate.

To further my goal of being the only person in this thread to post actual meaningful advice I say go read this: http://www.cracked.com/article_19230_the-5-least-romantic-keys-to-happy-relationship.html
You might actually learn something (unromantic) that will probably work.
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Posted 2/22/12
Break routines and start doing something radical(lol). I mean special and it's got to be something new.
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24 / Canada
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Posted 2/22/12
People stick with me because I'm honest with them and myself. If they get to trust you but really trust you...it should last long.
Posted 2/22/12 , edited 2/22/12

Coffeebot wrote:

Spend less time with the other person, I say this for the reason that the more exposure people have with each other the more they tend to know about each other, which leads to a case of familiarity and that leads to a situation that involves a lack of "newness" or lack of interest because there is little left to discover.


what are you talking about? isn't that the whole point of a relationship? to get to know each other and go through life. The more you spend time with someone your bonds grow and become strong. If you're spending less time with each other then there shouldn't be a relationship at all.
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Posted 2/22/12 , edited 2/22/12

PumeHana92 wrote:


Coffeebot wrote:

Spend less time with the other person, I say this for the reason that the more exposure people have with each other the more they tend to know about each other, which leads to a case of familiarity and that leads to a situation that involves a lack of "newness" or lack of interest because there is little left to discover.


what are you talking about? isn't that the whole point of a relationship? to get to know each other and go through life. The more you spend time with someone your bonds grow and become strong. If you're spending less time with each other then there shouldn't be a relationship at all.


http://www.cracked.com/article_19230_the-5-least-romantic-keys-to-happy-relationship.html

Seriously, go read it, I didn't write it, I claim no credit for it, but I do say you should go read it and read the linked studies, because I can almost guarantee that it will blow your mind because of how little you actually know.


To put it as an example everyone can understand: No doubt you have a favorite food, for arguments sake let's say it's bananas, no matter how much you love bananas if you ate a lot of them every day, you WOULD become sick of them until you've had a break, after which you could slowly resume your banana love.
Posted 2/22/12
When he says banana he's obviously talking about penis.
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Posted 2/22/12 , edited 2/22/12

underlock wrote:

When he says banana he's obviously talking about penis.


lol...was thinking the same...

that study is just meh...probably written by some ugly guy in need of sex that wants to live alone.


5. dont live with the person
4. sleep apart.
3 or 2. date ugly boys
2.dont even remember
1. have sex

...srsly? If you have some tastes in common and share things, there should be no problems and your bf/gf will keep interest in you.

edit : the one I forgot was lie to yourself. .. .. .....no comments this is just ridiculous imo.
Posted 2/22/12

Coffeebot wrote:

ITT: "Be yourself" (which has no inherent meaning).

It's impossible to NOT be yourself as what ever you do you are still you no matter how much you change.
If someone broke into your house and hacked your leg off (and you lived) you would still "be yourself" but you would also be a different person after such a violent assault. What I'm trying (in a round bout way) to say is "be yourself" is soppy lazy meaningless advice, I think the word cliché is appropriate.

To further my goal of being the only person in this thread to post actual meaningful advice I say go read this: http://www.cracked.com/article_19230_the-5-least-romantic-keys-to-happy-relationship.html

You might actually learn something (unromantic) that will probably work.

It is not meaningless advice. It could be worded better, but my point was that you shouldn't act differently than you normally do just to be with that person - if they don't like you for who you are and who you've ALWAYS been, they need to be with someone who fits said description. If you don't want to have sex on the fourth date because it goes against your morality, but don't want to lose her or him and they are insisting, you DON'T do it. Reason being, they could leave you the next day and you feel like you've betrayed yourself, just because you weren't being yourself.
As if I didn't say this enough, doing things outside of your character means not acting like yourself; perhaps not physically, but mentally, for sure.
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26 / M / Other
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Posted 2/22/12

underlock wrote:

When he says banana he's obviously talking about penis.

Way to ignore the message in favor of stupidity, it doesn't matter what the "item" is, be it a song, game, book movie, etc. it all amounts to the same thing, no one can stand something they like forever without a break. I'm sorry your apparent stupidity got in the way of you appearing to understand that.


ispy12 wrote:

lol...was thinking the same...

that study is just meh...probably written by some ugly guy in need of sex that wants to live alone.


5. dont live with the person
4. sleep apart.
3 or 2. date ugly boys
2.dont even remember
1. have sex

...srsly? If you have some tastes in common and share things, there should be no problems and your bf/gf will keep interest in you.

edit : the one I forgot was lie to yourself. .. .. .....no comments this is just ridiculous imo.


Ad hominem attack is ad hominem, I must congratulate you on your ability to formulate a valid argument.
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26 / M / Other
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Posted 2/22/12

melancholy-hill wrote:

It is not meaningless advice. It could be worded better, but my point was that you shouldn't act differently than you normally do just to be with that person - if they don't like you for who you are and who you've ALWAYS been, they need to be with someone who fits said description. If you don't want to have sex on the fourth date because it goes against your morality, but don't want to lose her or him and they are insisting, you DON'T do it. Reason being, they could leave you the next day and you feel like you've betrayed yourself, just because you weren't being yourself.
As if I didn't say this enough, doing things outside of your character means not acting like yourself; perhaps not physically, but mentally, for sure.


Every action changes you, thus "if they don't like you for who you are and who you've ALWAYS been" has no meaning. I didn't explain myself very well in that first post, what I was (unsuccessfully) trying to say is you change over time but peoples perceptions of you don't necessarily change in the same way, which can result in a situation of you "being yourself" but that other person perceiving you to be "not yourself" even though you've been yourself the whole time.

When people generally fall in love, what they are actually falling in love with is an image of that person at that point, and so long as that image is maintained there usually isn't a problem, but after a period of time (as people become more familiar) they tend to relax, and when people relax they are more "them selves" than in that initial period of "love" because of many factors, for example, regulated hormones and not having the need to be on "high alert" all the time because something "may" happen.

That's where a lot of relationships end, because one (or both) believe that "this isn't the person I married/fell in love with, all the while they weren't seeing the "real" person but the "lie" they had built. (still an inadequate explanation but better than the first)

Posted 2/22/12 , edited 2/22/12
I didn't ignore, I read the page you linked.

I get your point and I agree to an extent.
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32 / M
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Posted 2/22/12

ninjagirls wrote:




Thank you and Agree with both of you this does help



Well I hope it helps for me too. It's not a problem of me going out more...I can easily do that. The problem is where I should go to meet people, and be myself while trying to keep conversations going.
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26 / M / Other
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Posted 2/22/12

underlock wrote:

I didn't ignore, I read the page you linked.

I get your point and I agree to an extent.


I wish you had of posted this in addition to your original comment as I wouldn't have felt the need to post mine, looking back, my comment was a little overboard and I apologize for that.
Posted 2/23/12
Losing people is good.
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