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Forever Alone?
Posted 8/31/12
I'm not alone, I just prefer being with myself.
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26 / X / Rochester, NY
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Posted 8/31/12
Pretty sure I am. :/
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24 / Canada
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Posted 8/31/12
I'm the complete opposite of forever alone.
I'm never together.
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25 / M / USA
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Posted 8/31/12
Yeah. I've gotten used to it after many years of solitute
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20 / F / Washington
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Posted 8/31/12
Yep, forever alone~ XD
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26 / M / Boston
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Posted 8/31/12
Buck up guys. There's someone out there for all of us. It's not a bad thing to be single. Don't forget that relationships aren't some perfect world. There are fights, things that will bother you, jealousy, paranoia, limitations and a whole mess of other things. Enjoy your freedom, don't sulk in it!

I've known people that once they finally find somebody, all they do is complain about how they can't hit on other girls/guys or that they don't like how they have to do another persons dishes and it goes on and on.
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18 / F / UK
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Posted 8/31/12
No, I'm not....I have my laptop....
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26 / X / Rochester, NY
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Posted 8/31/12

justinitsu wrote:

Buck up guys. There's someone out there for all of us. It's not a bad thing to be single. Don't forget that relationships aren't some perfect world. There are fights, things that will bother you, jealousy, paranoia, limitations and a whole mess of other things. Enjoy your freedom, don't sulk in it!

I've known people that once they finally find somebody, all they do is complain about how they can't hit on other girls/guys or that they don't like how they have to do another persons dishes and it goes on and on.


There's much truth in this, however, it's not 100% true.
I know people in their 40s who have never dated, and to be honest, likely never will.
I myself have been single for 4 years, and I'm finding it likely I'll be like them 20 years down the line.
I'm too shy to make the first move, I'm too shy to really flirt a bunch, I get nervous, when someone starts getting too close I get nervous and wonder to myself why they would be interested. Aside from my jobs, and my card tournys (Weiss Schwarz) I don't do TONS of socializing, and I prefer staying at home by myself watching anime over clubbing, partying, and that hooking up crap.
Besides, all the girls that get interested in me irl get interested off of me being a firefighter, as soon as they find out I'm into anime I get the "You watch cartoons....?" response, and that is that.

So in reality, it is entirely possible for me to be forever alone.
Does this bother me? A little bit, deep down I think I desire someone to share my emotions with and love fully.
But do I spend every day sulking about it? Absolutely not.
Perhaps someone may come my way.
Perhaps not.
Either way is a possibility.

There is no reason to sulk.
The is only reason to hope, and keep on livin.
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Posted 8/31/12

justinitsu wrote:

Buck up guys. There's someone out there for all of us. It's not a bad thing to be single. Don't forget that relationships aren't some perfect world. There are fights, things that will bother you, jealousy, paranoia, limitations and a whole mess of other things. Enjoy your freedom, don't sulk in it!

I've known people that once they finally find somebody, all they do is complain about how they can't hit on other girls/guys or that they don't like how they have to do another persons dishes and it goes on and on.


Heh, I used to think that there was someone out there for all of us, now I kinda halfheartedly believe that there is someone out there for everyone but me. I know that relationships aren't perfect, but I'd rather experience something that is imperfect rather than nothing at all. "Tis better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all." -Don't know who originally said that.

I don't really "hit" on people anyway, so I don't think it'd be something that I'd miss. Back when I was younger if I ever tried something like that people would see me as a creep or something and it would always have the opposite effect than what was intended. I learned quickly to not do it anymore.

I boil down my solitude to two major factors:

One: My life doesn't allow me the opportunities to meet and interact with members of the opposite sex on a regular basis and on equal social footing. (Example: I see and interact with many women at work, but trying to get a customer's phone number or trying to ask a customer out on a date is generally frowned upon.)

Two: I am what I call a "defective male."

When you look at any species on the planet that reproduces sexually, there are basic biological mechanisms in place that ensure female attracts male and male attracts female. This ensures that any given species propagates to the next generation. You'll find this in the smallest to the largest and the simplest to the most complex creatures. This even exists in humans. Human females attract human males and human males attract human females on a basic biological level, even putting societal factors aside. It's part of natural evolution that has kept life going on this planet for hundreds of millions of years.

All I know about my specific case is that whatever mechanism that's supposed to be inside me, to allow me to attract the interest of a member of the opposite sex, must be broken, hence the term "defective male." It's definitely not normal to get up to the age I'm at and not even have a single woman be even mildly interested or even show the slightest hint of passing interest. Maybe I'm missing a chromosome or something.



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Posted 8/31/12

Pyralis1 wrote:

All I know about my specific case is that whatever mechanism that's supposed to be inside me, to allow me to attract the interest of a member of the opposite sex, must be broken, hence the term "defective male." It's definitely not normal to get up to the age I'm at and not even have a single woman be even mildly interested or even show the slightest hint of passing interest. Maybe I'm missing a chromosome or something.






I'm with you on that...kinda.
In highschool I had a few girlfriends, one of two years, however, since I was 20 I've been constantly single.
A few girls have showed interest initially however it quickly goes away as soon as they learn my interests.
They get interested upon realizing my more many side, and once they learn that i spend every Saturday at an anime store, and would rather watch anime than go clubbing, the interest goes away almost instantly ^.^;;
There's other problems as well, social awkwardness, I'm horribly shy which makes me seem awkward since I don't like talking in large social situations. etc.
So I suppose I'm not most females ideal boyfriend.
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Posted 8/31/12
It takes a lot of effort and patience and time to meet people and keep them in your life. If you don't put in enough work to build relationships whether it's family, personal, romantic, friendship, etc. they'll eventually drift away.

Frankly, I think most people who say they're "forever alone" haven't put in the necessary work or sacrifice to bring people into their lives.
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Posted 8/31/12

MikiSayaka wrote:

I'm with you on that...kinda.
In highschool I had a few girlfriends, one of two years, however, since I was 20 I've been constantly single.
A few girls have showed interest initially however it quickly goes away as soon as they learn my interests.
They get interested upon realizing my more many side, and once they learn that i spend every Saturday at an anime store, and would rather watch anime than go clubbing, the interest goes away almost instantly ^.^;;
There's other problems as well, social awkwardness, I'm horribly shy which makes me seem awkward since I don't like talking in large social situations. etc.
So I suppose I'm not most females ideal boyfriend.


I'm envious of your ability to attract initial interest. No, I'm not being sarcastic or anything, I'm genuinely envious.

With me it never gets to the stage of learning anything about me or getting to know me and what makes me who I am. It always seems that women, on an subconscious or instinctual level, immediately know that I'm not worth their time, most of the time without a single word being said. At least that's how things appear from my perspective, but I've become pretty jaded over the past decade and a half so my perceptions are almost definitely skewed.



I can identify with the social awkwardness problem. I am very much the same in that area as well. But since I'm also very socially isolated, having opportunities to work on that problem are few and far between. Clubbing and crowded environments were never my thing either. I was never comfortable with that. Unfortunately not being able to do that kind of stuff while going through my teen and young adult life has almost certainly contributed to my social awkwardness and isolation. It's an endless cycle that as I get older continues to trap me and prevents me from becoming a better person, someone that would probably be worthy of a relationship someday. Also, working nine to ten hour shifts at a soul crushing job that leaves me with no energy to do anything after hours or days off doesn't help either, but that's a different rant all together. LOL

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Posted 8/31/12

Winterfells wrote:

It takes a lot of effort and patience and time to meet people and keep them in your life. If you don't put in enough work to build relationships whether it's family, personal, romantic, friendship, etc. they'll eventually drift away.

Frankly, I think most people who say they're "forever alone" haven't put in the necessary work or sacrifice to bring people into their lives.


Very well put. Just like everything else, all relationships require effort, even the closest ones. It's always about compromising and putting them before yourself. If you want to think about in an interesting way, it's like the way relationships build up in the persona games. I think that is a pretty fair representation, minus the status bars.
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26 / M / Seattle, and ever...
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Posted 8/31/12
And reciprocation - cannot stress that enough. One person putting in all the effort = destined to fail.
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Posted 8/31/12

StealthWar42 wrote:

And reciprocation - cannot stress that enough. One person putting in all the effort = destined to fail.


Exactly, which is why everyone saying "Everyone saying forever alone doesn't put in effort" is absolutely wrong.
Maybe we put in tons of effort.
If it isn't reciprocated it's a moot effort.
I'm glad you pointed that out, Stealth.
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