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Post Reply Why are women so complicated?
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25 / M / Shirley, NY
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Posted 4/19/13
I still have a hard time understanding women. Just when I think I might have them figured out, there's something new! They bitch, moan, and complain about everything even when there's nothing to bitch about, and they expect men to understand what they're thinking. And if we don't know, then we don't pay attention to them enough. But if you're with her a lot, she complains about not having enough space to herself. If you're mostly home on your free time, she pesters you to go out with friends. But if you're with your friends too much, she complains about not seeing you. She does her best to always look pretty, but its never enough to her because of her unreasonable standards she placed on herself, and if you compliment her, she calls you biased!

Yes, I am talking from experience.
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23 / F / USA
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Posted 4/19/13
You have hit man hood. You are awesome!
10824 cr points
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24 / M / United States
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Posted 4/19/13 , edited 4/19/13
If a person says the same or very similar thing over and over again yes, your partner will claim you are biased but that goes for everyone, I can say that from experience as well.

when a person claims you're biased you have to reassure them you're not by words and actions.

this does not mean however, go and deliberately tell them you dislike it even if you like or dislike it to change their views, it will result in something far worse.
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22 / M
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Posted 4/19/13

Zenairis_Serean wrote:

I haven't found women complicated, they are a lot like men. There is a small difference but it is not a major one.
I agree with this. I don't find women are impossibly complicated or that men are super easy reads. That sort of generalizing overlooks individuality and thus personality in favor of an extreme view on gender. Such thinking is bound to be wrong more often than some would think. Sure there is some difference, but that applies to anyone. In the end, I believe, we are more alike than different. :)
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28 / M / san diego
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Posted 4/19/13
really depends on the person. I know guys just as complicated as girls. But everyone has different levels of insecurities and dependencies, some people are more independent and some people are codependent. But yes in general most girls wont say out right what they want done, they expect guys to just know like we're some kind of mind reader. Girls like guys that pick up on little subtle hints, but most guys rather hear what a girls thinking then taking the time to guess. Its all honesty its a waste of time to play the guessing game, it works when you're younger and its cute once in awhile for anniversaries but get real, once you get older your on a schedule and cutesy games like that become annoying.

Here's a repost of how men think in relationships.

WE ALWAYS HEAR 'THE RULES' FROM THE FEMALE SIDE
NOW HERE ARE THE RULES FROM THE MALE SIDE

THESE ARE OUR RULES!

PLEASE NOTE. THESE ARE ALL NUMBERED #1 ON PURPOSE!

1. MEN ARE NOT MIND READERS.

1. LEARN TO WORK THE TOILET SEAT. YOU'RE A BIG GIRL. IF IT'S UP, PUT IT DOWN. WE NEED IT UP, YOU NEED IT DOWN. YOU DON'T HEAR US COMPLAINING ABOUT YOU LEAVING IT DOWN.

1. CRYING IS BLACKMAIL.

1. ASK FOR WHAT YOU WANT. LET US BE CLEAR ON THIS ONE:

SUBTLE HINTS DO NOT WORK!
STRONG HINTS DO NOT WORK!
OBVIOUS HINTS DO NOT WORK!
JUST SAY IT!

1. YES AND NO ARE PERFECTLY ACCEPTABLE ANSWERS TO ALMOST EVERY QUESTION.

1.. COME TO US WITH A PROBLEM ONLY IF YOU WANT HELP SOLVING IT. THAT'S WHAT WE DO. SYMPATHY IS WHAT YOUR GIRLFRIENDS ARE FOR.

1. ANYTHING WE SAID 6 MONTHS AGO IS INADMISSIBLE IN AN ARGUMENT. IN FACT, ALL COMMENTS BECOME NULL AND VOID AFTER 7 DAYS.

1. IF YOU THINK YOU'RE FAT, YOU PROBABLY ARE. DON'T ASK US.

1. IF SOMETHING WE SAID CAN BE INTERPRETED TWO WAYS AND ONE OF THE WAYS MAKES YOU SAD OR ANGRY, WE MEANT THE OTHER ONE.

1. YOU CAN EITHER ASK US TO DO SOMETHING OR TELL US HOW YOU WANT IT DONE. NOT BOTH.
IF YOU ALREADY KNOW BEST HOW TO DO IT, JUST DO IT YOURSELF.

1. WHENEVER POSSIBLE, PLEASE SAY WHATEVER YOU HAVE TO SAY DURING COMMERCIALS.

1. CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS DID NOT NEED DIRECTIONS AND NEITHER DO WE...

1. ALL MEN SEE IN ONLY 16 COLORS, LIKE WINDOWS DEFAULT SETTINGS..
PEACH, FOR EXAMPLE, IS A FRUIT, NOT A COLOR. PUMPKIN IS ALSO A FRUIT. WE HAVE NO IDEA WHAT MAUVE IS.

1. IF WE ASK WHAT IS WRONG AND YOU SAY 'NOTHING,' WE WILL ACT LIKE NOTHING'S WRONG. WE KNOW YOU ARE LYING, BUT IT IS JUST NOT WORTH THE HASSLE.

1. IF YOU ASK A QUESTION YOU DON'T WANT AN ANSWER TO, EXPECT AN ANSWER YOU DON'T WANT TO HEAR..

1. WHEN WE HAVE TO GO SOMEWHERE, ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING YOU WEAR IS FINE...REALLY.

1.. DON'T ASK US WHAT WE'RE THINKING ABOUT UNLESS YOU ARE PREPARED TO DISCUSS SUCH TOPICS AS FOOTBALL OR MOTOR SPORTS.

1. YOU HAVE ENOUGH CLOTHES.

1 .. YOU HAVE TOO MANY SHOES.

1. I AM IN SHAPE. ROUND IS A SHAPE!

1.. THANK YOU FOR READING THIS. YES, I KNOW, I HAVE TO SLEEP ON THE COUCH TONIGHT.. BUT DID YOU KNOW MEN REALLY DON'T MIND THAT? IT'S LIKE CAMPING...
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19 / F
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Posted 4/19/13
Women are as simple as a book. But they are not magazines, they're not fake unless you meet one that is. If you take your time and slowly take her in, no matter how many secrets she has, no matter how many things she hides from you, you'll see that she's just a girl. Don't be mad if you don't understand a girl yet. All you really need is time.
10824 cr points
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24 / M / United States
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Posted 4/19/13

havok86 wrote:

really depends on the person. I know guys just as complicated as girls. But everyone has different levels of insecurities and dependencies, some people are more independent and some people are codependent. But yes in general most girls wont say out right what they want done, they expect guys to just know like we're some kind of mind reader. Girls like guys that pick up on little subtle hints, but most guys rather hear what a girls thinking then taking the time to guess. Its all honesty its a waste of time to play the guessing game, it works when you're younger and its cute once in awhile for anniversaries but get real, once you get older your on a schedule and cutesy games like that become annoying.

Here's a repost of how men think in relationships.

WE ALWAYS HEAR 'THE RULES' FROM THE FEMALE SIDE
NOW HERE ARE THE RULES FROM THE MALE SIDE

THESE ARE OUR RULES!

PLEASE NOTE. THESE ARE ALL NUMBERED #1 ON PURPOSE!

1. MEN ARE NOT MIND READERS.

1. LEARN TO WORK THE TOILET SEAT. YOU'RE A BIG GIRL. IF IT'S UP, PUT IT DOWN. WE NEED IT UP, YOU NEED IT DOWN. YOU DON'T HEAR US COMPLAINING ABOUT YOU LEAVING IT DOWN.

1. CRYING IS BLACKMAIL.

1. ASK FOR WHAT YOU WANT. LET US BE CLEAR ON THIS ONE:

SUBTLE HINTS DO NOT WORK!
STRONG HINTS DO NOT WORK!
OBVIOUS HINTS DO NOT WORK!
JUST SAY IT!

1. YES AND NO ARE PERFECTLY ACCEPTABLE ANSWERS TO ALMOST EVERY QUESTION.

1.. COME TO US WITH A PROBLEM ONLY IF YOU WANT HELP SOLVING IT. THAT'S WHAT WE DO. SYMPATHY IS WHAT YOUR GIRLFRIENDS ARE FOR.

1. ANYTHING WE SAID 6 MONTHS AGO IS INADMISSIBLE IN AN ARGUMENT. IN FACT, ALL COMMENTS BECOME NULL AND VOID AFTER 7 DAYS.

1. IF YOU THINK YOU'RE FAT, YOU PROBABLY ARE. DON'T ASK US.

1. IF SOMETHING WE SAID CAN BE INTERPRETED TWO WAYS AND ONE OF THE WAYS MAKES YOU SAD OR ANGRY, WE MEANT THE OTHER ONE.

1. YOU CAN EITHER ASK US TO DO SOMETHING OR TELL US HOW YOU WANT IT DONE. NOT BOTH.
IF YOU ALREADY KNOW BEST HOW TO DO IT, JUST DO IT YOURSELF.

1. WHENEVER POSSIBLE, PLEASE SAY WHATEVER YOU HAVE TO SAY DURING COMMERCIALS.

1. CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS DID NOT NEED DIRECTIONS AND NEITHER DO WE...

1. ALL MEN SEE IN ONLY 16 COLORS, LIKE WINDOWS DEFAULT SETTINGS..
PEACH, FOR EXAMPLE, IS A FRUIT, NOT A COLOR. PUMPKIN IS ALSO A FRUIT. WE HAVE NO IDEA WHAT MAUVE IS.

1. IF WE ASK WHAT IS WRONG AND YOU SAY 'NOTHING,' WE WILL ACT LIKE NOTHING'S WRONG. WE KNOW YOU ARE LYING, BUT IT IS JUST NOT WORTH THE HASSLE.

1. IF YOU ASK A QUESTION YOU DON'T WANT AN ANSWER TO, EXPECT AN ANSWER YOU DON'T WANT TO HEAR..

1. WHEN WE HAVE TO GO SOMEWHERE, ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING YOU WEAR IS FINE...REALLY.

1.. DON'T ASK US WHAT WE'RE THINKING ABOUT UNLESS YOU ARE PREPARED TO DISCUSS SUCH TOPICS AS FOOTBALL OR MOTOR SPORTS.

1. YOU HAVE ENOUGH CLOTHES.

1 .. YOU HAVE TOO MANY SHOES.

1. I AM IN SHAPE. ROUND IS A SHAPE!

1.. THANK YOU FOR READING THIS. YES, I KNOW, I HAVE TO SLEEP ON THE COUCH TONIGHT.. BUT DID YOU KNOW MEN REALLY DON'T MIND THAT? IT'S LIKE CAMPING...



I shake my head at most of this list.

You have to many clothes and shoes? lol Clothes compliment a woman's beauty I've always thought it was natural for them to have a lot of clothes.
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24 / M / United States
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Posted 4/19/13 , edited 4/19/13

Ashley12140 wrote:

Women are as simple as a book. But they are not magazines, they're not fake unless you meet one that is. If you take your time and slowly take her in, no matter how many secrets she has, no matter how many things she hides from you, you'll see that she's just a girl. Don't be mad if you don't understand a girl yet. All you really need is time.


I agree with this.

Edit: I can also confirm this with my own experiences with them.
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28 / M / san diego
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Posted 4/19/13

Zenairis_Serean wrote:

I shake my head at most of this list.

You have to many clothes and shoes? lol Clothes compliment a woman's beauty I've always thought it was natural for them to have a lot of clothes.



The list is obviously mostly jokes haha. But the emphasis of the list is that guys would rather hear things then have to guess them, hell its not just guys but im sure girls perfer it that way too.

And i agree clothes do compliment women, only if they know what clothes compliment them, i see some girls who wear horizontal stripes when they need to be wearing vertical stripes. I know its weird right a guy with a sense of fashion?! i did work retail work god knows how long -_-
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24 / M / United States
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Posted 4/19/13 , edited 4/19/13
My former partner was nearly a enemy of mine shortly after we met. She ignored my emails and messages to her for the longest time, She even asked a few times how I even stayed with her (or was even capable of being her friend after that) through how she treated me. I eventually figured out a lot about why she was the way she was as well as pinpoint things she was attempting to keep a secret from me, I learned these things by being around her for a long period of time and observing her.

we ended up breaking up a year and a half later because of lots of pressure from external sources.

Edit: What I mean overall was however, because I was patient and after I observed her for a long time I was able to understand her even though many others at the time were unable to. She forgot the early stages as friends and a large portion of our relationship in the end for reasons I will not disclose which is not her fault, nor do I blame her. I however, will never forget those moments.
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26 / M / United States
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Posted 4/19/13
Easy solution:

When I start dating a woman, I always tell her bluntly that if she really feels it is important for me to know something that she must say it to my face. I generally make some kind of joke about having trouble reading between the lines or some such statement. Then when the situation where she assumed I understood (and I had no clue) causes relational issues, I simply direct her attention to my previous statement and then act on the knowledge I now have.

This solution prevents you from having to somehow mystically understand what she is saying, not saying, or actually meaning. Once it "clicks" that you genuinely just don't know wtf she is saying half the time, the vast majority have altered their communication method. Women are good at communication after all!

Works like a charm.
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F
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Posted 4/19/13 , edited 4/19/13
1. LEARN TO WORK THE TOILET SEAT. YOU'RE A BIG GIRL. IF IT'S UP, PUT IT DOWN. WE NEED IT UP, YOU NEED IT DOWN. YOU DON'T HEAR US COMPLAINING ABOUT YOU LEAVING IT DOWN.

~No really. Put the seat and LID down. The stuff you put IN the toilet will aerosolize when you flush. Then you get it on your toothbrush. Gross.

Also, women are human. Just human. Let's just treat each other as such.

For all you, 'nice guys'. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5rZu-tBi7DM
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21 / M
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Posted 4/20/13
I heard some good advice on reddit. Don't try and understand women. Women understand each other and they hate each other. Something to live by.
3088 cr points
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M
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Posted 4/20/13
i no rite dude!?!? those women r so complicated dud. us guys r rly simple but dem girls always gotta make shit more bad then its gots2 be no what im

sayin?


This thread is really dumb.
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23 / F / Sexual Chocolate
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Posted 4/20/13
Guys on the internet don't know shit about women! And in other news water is still wet and oxygen has a 99.9% approval rating.
Posted 4/20/13

Pomff wrote:

Guys on the internet don't know shit about women! And in other news water is still wet and oxygen has a 99.9% approval rating.


That's a wonderful generalization you have there. You fail. F-. Zero. Utter failure. You act too much like a man. Balance yourself and learn how to be woman.

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