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Post Reply Why are women so complicated?
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27 / F / Chicagoland ~
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Posted 16 days ago
Aww look, a 44 page thread with a bunch of children. How nice.
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26 / TX
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Posted 3 days ago , edited 3 days ago

h202 wrote:

There are a few girls that I know but from my experience in the past several years I see that alot of women have such high standards. I'm a nice guy with a gentleman personality always giving women as much respect as I can. It seems no matter what I do its never good enough. I've liked women who are smart and pretty and the same time but they're stuck up as heck. I've liked women who are pretty but arent as smart but they're still stuck up as heck.

So now I'm asking everyone why are women so complicated?


wrote:

As far as being a nice guy and a gentleman, I'm with you, man. It's not really complicated, though. It's simply just that they aren't interested in guys like us. Girls have told me that:

1) We're not challenging.
2) We're easy.
3) We're pushovers.
4) Nice guys aren't sexy.



I have to say that I do enjoy challenges, I like debates, I can be seen as confrontational.
I don't like push-overs or people who seem too easy. I enjoy people that show some back bone. I have a strong personality and I tend to accidentally steam roll people when they don't push back. We don't need to fight but I need people to not be a door mat. My instinct is to lead and take over and if you don't actively participate in the relationship or show that you would, we're both going to be unhappy because I will walk all over you without meaning to especially because you're not standing up and stopping me. People who match my intensity and my wavelength tend to be high-functioning, self-sufficient, individualists who can negotiate and cater to someone like I can but never simply stay in a constant 'submissive/subservient' role either - it's more of a constant ebb and flow of power between us and we play off of each other's intensity.

So maybe it's less about being just a 'nice guy' and more about finding a balance between being a good kind person and showing off your self confidence. I imagine that most women go for 'douche bags' because of the image they portray. Confidence is sexy as hell, even when it's in a bad light.

I wouldn't say that women are any more complicated, or simplistic, than men - and I've had fairly long term relationships with both.

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M / West Point (USMA)
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Posted 3 days ago
LMAO


THEY'RE NOT
cje225 
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25 / M / Seattle
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Posted 3 days ago
I think that people in general are complicated...everyone has a past, a story and carries around baggage. Whatever they have endured in life has shaped their mentalities and personalities into what you see. I would agree that women tend to be more intricate than men; but as a male I know how testosterone affects the male psyche as opposed to how a woman thinks emotionally. I think it boils down to: Men are blunt and to the point and women are layered and want the man to figure them out.

(Now I could be horribly WRONG with this...but it is how I interpret it.)
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16 / F / The Deep South
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Posted 3 days ago
Because they're/we're human beings and human beings are complex as heck. End of story.
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23 / M / USA
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Posted 3 days ago , edited 3 days ago
To the OP some questions are better left not pursuing, you will drive yourself mad looking for an answer that doesn't exist
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F
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Posted 3 days ago

Izomie wrote:

Girls aren't complicated at all!! It's just that guys don't understand us! 'Sides I guess i like ur type....guys who actually treasure their girl and makes her feel special!!


Girls are not meant to be understood, they are meant to be loved ^^
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23 / M / USA
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Posted 3 days ago , edited 3 days ago

Dremux wrote:


Kanade_Yagami wrote:


Dremux wrote:

Okay, I relate to the OP almost 100%, the only difference is one year in age and it seems he has actually had a relationship with someone, if I am not mistaken.

I have gone my entire life only having one girl give me the time of day, and that was in first grade, she was my first, and only crush. Due to "life" happening, I have been raised solely by my Mother, at least since nine years old. So, because of that I seem to have a different perspective on the fairer sex than my peers. My Mother raised me to always in any circumstance be a gentleman, never belittle or judge someone based on appearance or social status (male or female). I'm not saying being raised this way was a bad thing or that I wish she hadn't, that isn't it at all. But, I have found that I have become the prototypical "nice guy." The guy that is thrown immediately into the friend-zone. It is rather disheartening that most of my female friends have told me that I would make such a good boyfriend, or that the girl that "gets" me is going to be so lucky. And I hate to even say this because it sounds abhorrently egotistical, but, I'm not the worst looking guy ever, I have actually been asked out by more men than I have women, which I have been told should be flattering. Though when you've never been asked out by a girl before it doesn't really help that ratio.

Now, I refuse to change being a gentleman, because I have seen firsthand that guys who are jerks get the girl. I've watched quite a few of my friends wreck themselves mentally and emotionally by going out with guys who are just scum. Many times I have been the shoulder they have cried on when something happened, and even with a few relationships I have had to bring to an end for them because they were scared to leave by themselves. None of those ended pretty. It has actually come to a point where I'm wondering if I'll ever be in a relationship with someone.

Sorry for such a long post, I'll end it here so I don't just start writing a book... though I have made pretty good headway it seems. (lol)


Do you feel like you're owed a relationship or something because unless a person has a genuine interest in you, they are under no obligation to ever go out with you. By saying all your friends put you in the "friendzone" you're saying all they are good for is being in a relationship with you. It also means your "friendship" with them is a lie because you didn't have the courage to just come out and say what you felt. Since you seem to get asked out by guys more often, unless you're straight, why don't you try going out with them?


Holy shit, this was soooo long ago. I was such a child, oh dear jesus. I'm not too sure what frame of mind I was in at the time I wrote this, but I'm pretty sure it was one of my "Oh woe is me, I'll be alone forever. Give me attention" phases. Since then I've done a lot of growing up and that me is all but dead. I was hyper focusing on one girl and how she treated me. I took that treatment and superimposed it onto all the girls around me and fooled myself into believing that that's how they treated me as well. It was a very unhealthy time in my life mentally and then, sadly, physically. It's taken me a while to realize my worth as a person and now when I'm interested in someone, I tell them. I'm done waiting for something to happen, there is no "friendzone". That's all in your head. If you like someone tell 'em, if they don't feel the same way, well, at least you tried. This is all stuff I've come to realize since then and I wish I would have realized it sooner. But, forward is the only way the clock goes.




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19 / M / Turkey
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Posted 3 days ago
Fyk0 
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24 / M / Winland
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Posted 3 days ago
Guys guys there's hope we just need to read this

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24 / F / In your mind....
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Posted one day ago


lmao c:
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16 / F
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Posted one day ago
Well maybe it's just them. People have differently personality, some a easy to spot, others not so visible because they feared u might not like it.

Well I would say boys and girls are complicated.

It may be you chat so easily with someone but when it comes to in real life, it may not be the same.

Some boys/ girls do one worded response and you are not sure whether they want to talk to u or not OR it's just their normal way of chatting.

Of course, life isn't simple but you got to keep in mind that finding someone is not by appearance or being able to judge if this girl will fit the image. It's how you treat each other, you keep thinking about them, and you don't change the way they are. Of course you can tell them a few things how to improve, so they gain some confidence.

But out of all the things, for now, think what you did wrong or they did wrong. Take that and don't do the same. Similar situation? Just think how would u react with the previous one, and try to modified it cause everyone has different responses.

All I can say to everyone out there is, if there's someone making you smile, make them smile back.
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