First  Prev  1  2  Next  Last
Crazy Norwegian Star Wars Fanatic goes too far.
35796 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
20 / M / Stoke, England
Offline
Posted 3/21/12

You may picture your average serial killer to look like an insane psychopath, just like in the movies. But Alexander Astonsen, aged 62 and avid Star Wars fan, decided that he was going to add his own twist to things. Dressed as a common character in the franchise; a stormtrooper, he equipped himself with a Steyr Mannlicher hunting shotgun (a weapon which he did not have a permit for) and raided his own street, knocking down neighbor's doors and delivering what Astonsen described as "Punishment" to every single one of them. Some of the victims were found with stab wounds or in gruesome positions, including hung from ceilings and impaled on garden railings.


Skipping slightly ahead in the article...


...Astonsen reportedly has no next of kin, and was rarely seen outside of his own home, although a few days before a survivor told us that: "Alexander was a strange old man, and a few days ago he started protesting with pickets in our street dressed like some kind of robot, saying that we should all serve the 'dark lord', or something. I'm still in shock that he did that." Whilst being questioned, the murderer claimed: "Those parasites had chosen to ignore the will of Lord Vader, and all who do not serve him must be eliminated. They brought about their own fate." Sadly, we must also report that he slaughtered domestic animals and even a child; even more sickening is the fact that there were semen stains found near the house pets.

Police are hiring human psychologists to diagnose him of a type of mental disorder related to an obsession with the science-fiction genre. One of them told us: "Anyone who is a fan of these types of movies should go to their nearest clinic and be checked for the disease. These awful, bland and distasteful franchises are ruining a surprisingly large percentage of the global population, and it is more common in America and various regions of Scandinavia."


Quite a...strange story. What do you all think?

Article here: http://tinyurl.com/2g9mqh
Posted 3/21/12
This guy is my hero...
But wtf Scandinavian police force/Psychologist?!?
452 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
F
Offline
Posted 3/21/12
Lmao! You love trolling don't you? That's fine, it's funny for me.
zebedi 
66603 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
44 / M
Offline
Posted 3/21/12

Police are hiring human psychologists to diagnose him of a type of mental disorder related to an obsession with the science-fiction genre. One of them told us: "Anyone who is a fan of these types of movies should go to their nearest clinic and be checked for the disease. These awful, bland and distasteful franchises are ruining a surprisingly large percentage of the global population, and it is more common in America and various regions of Scandinavia."



Ok, they had me through mental disorder.. the guy was obviously obsessed with SW and that flavored his rampage/delusions. They lost me at the red-quoted text. Stupid dicks.
45769 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
28 / F / pLaNeT eArTh???
Offline
Posted 3/21/12 , edited 3/21/12
So this is where my obsession with sci-fi slash fics is gonna lead

Is it a sign that I'm going to turn into a serial killer because I get upset some people don't think Kirk/Spock is canon?
54331 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
23 / F / Under your skin.
Offline
Posted 3/21/12

"Anyone who is a fan of these types of movies should go to their nearest clinic and be checked for the disease. These awful, bland and distasteful franchises are ruining a surprisingly large percentage of the global population, and it is more common in America and various regions of Scandinavia."


Gurl...



49355 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
M/F - Michigan
Offline
Posted 3/21/12
Im pretty sure this was the bored delusions of the OP... why else would there be a rickroll link?
3910 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
26 / M / Pandemonium
Offline
Posted 3/21/12
So why norwegian of all things, CarboKill?
U no liek us norweegunz?
10228 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
F / United Kingdom
Offline
Posted 3/21/12
He was clearly mad to begin with. If it hadn't been Star Wars, it would of been some other weird obsession. It's not Star Wars that sent him insane. He just was insane. If he had never seen that movie, he would of done all those sick things but in the style some other movie, book, popualr media phenomenon etc.
Posted 3/21/12
Posted 3/21/12
Perfectly normal. Perfectly healthy.
4371 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
23 / Rainbow Factory
Offline
Posted 3/21/12
Dumb fool. You're supposed to replace your neighbors with androids! How in the hell did you forget to do that? I did the same thing for the Emperor a few years back and no one has caught on...
Posted 3/21/12

Usually there's this guy who posts all around the forum around this time.
35796 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
20 / M / Stoke, England
Offline
Posted 3/22/12

kitsuneshoujo wrote:

Im pretty sure this was the bored delusions of the OP... why else would there be a rickroll link?


I bet you lecture at Cambridge, you're a fucking genius.




Syndicaidramon wrote:

So why norwegian of all things, CarboKill?
U no liek us norweegunz? :(


I chose that on a whim, there's a Norwegian with a Stormtrooper picture here.
54331 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
23 / F / Under your skin.
Offline
Posted 3/22/12

This isn't locked yet.


First  Prev  1  2  Next  Last
You must be logged in to post.