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Are you still friends with your ex?
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19 / M / hawaii
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Posted 4/25/12
No. my exes all moved away or transferred schools. Except for lauren, she stayed so she could ruin my life
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30 / M
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Posted 4/25/12
Hell no. She took advantage of me, she never went 50/50 and raped my wallet. She denies this yet 4 months after we broke up, she found a rich guy and even admitted to me through a chat during our final daysof contact that she only got with him because of the cash. The shoes fit and i should have figured it out when we started going out when she said her ex before me also accused her of raping his wallet.
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F / NYC
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Posted 4/25/12 , edited 4/25/12
In the long run, the question really is if there is animosity between you and your exes. Things and situations change as life goes on, and it's not always feasible to stay friends with an ex. "Being friends with an ex" is usually a loaded statement. Real frienship shouldn't be for selfish reasons, and lots of people will "stay friends" with an ex because they still have feelings for them and are in the corner waiting for round 2 to start. That isn't real frienship... if anything, it's polite stalking lol.

I think for the most part it's easier to part ways without harboring any hard feelings in the long run as an adult than in high school or even college. Relationships usually fail for a reason, and if you can be adult enough to understand them, usually you won't end up harboring any grudges... one big reason in high school is immaturity, usually from both sides. When enough time passes, especially when the relationship wasn't very serious in retrospect, the feelings for the other person, good and bad, seem so faded that it doesn't even matter. Although with that being said, most friendships between exes wind up failing or taking a lot of strain when one or both people get engaged or married.

The relationships that end with permanent damage are usually only the ones that involve some sort of betrayal. That isn't to say that every cheater is guilty of betrayal... heck, a lot of people aren't even surprised when they found out their significant other has cheated on them. Hurt? Yes. Surprised? If they really think about it, not so much. The worst pain is inflicted on us by the people we would never suspect. Once that happens in any sort of relationship, it's impossible to go back to the way things were. Those are the people we like to forget about... the pain usually stays too fresh to even actively stay angry. Holding a grudge takes effort and ultimately hurts you more than it does the person you dislike; it's a waste of time and energy.
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21 / M / Missouri
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Posted 4/25/12

killbethy wrote:

In the long run, the question really is if there is animosity between you and your exes. Things and situations change as life goes on, and it's not always feasible to stay friends with an ex. "Being friends with an ex" is usually a loaded statement. Real frienship shouldn't be for selfish reasons, and lots of people will "stay friends" with an ex because they still have feelings for them and are in the corner waiting for round 2 to start. That isn't real frienship... if anything, it's polite stalking lol.

I think for the most part it's easier to part ways without harboring any hard feelings in the long run as an adult than in high school or even college. Relationships usually fail for a reason, and if you can be adult enough to understand them, usually you won't end up harboring any grudges... one big reason in high school is immaturity, usually from both sides. When enough time passes, especially when the relationship wasn't very serious in retrospect, the feelings for the other person, good and bad, seem so faded that it doesn't even matter. Although with that being said, most friendships between exes wind up failing or taking a lot of strain when one or both people get engaged or married.

The relationships that end with permanent damage are usually only the ones that involve some sort of betrayal. That isn't to say that every cheater is guilty of betrayal... heck, a lot of people aren't even surprised when they found out their significant other has cheated on them. Hurt? Yes. Surprised? If they really think about it, not so much. The worst pain is inflicted on us by the people we would never suspect. Once that happens in any sort of relationship, it's impossible to go back to the way things were. Those are the people we like to forget about... the pain usually stays to fresh to even actively stay angry. Holding a grudge takes effort and ultimately hurts you more than it does the person you dislike; it's a waste of time and energy.


Love sucks. I kinda wish I was a hermit.
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20 / M / England
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Posted 4/25/12
One of them is still a friend, the other two arn't really on bad terms but we're not close enough to be considered 'friends'.
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M / United States
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Posted 4/25/12

Yes and no. Depends on the person and the situation. Sometimes it's just better if you aren't...
Posted 4/25/12 , edited 4/25/12
This is speaking from the prospective of a person who was seeing someone who at the time, was friends with his old flame.

The guy I was seeing was friends with his ex, yet the problem was when he decided to leave her and start dating me, he also brought the baggage from the previous relationship as well. About a month in he decided he not only wanted to be with her too, but me at the same time. I was basically caught in a triangle. Not to mention the girl had a lot of issues of her own (suicidal depression, jealous of me seeing him) that also complicated things. To make a long story short, it didn't work out and at the end of our short lived relationship, he decided that "he wasn't ready for the responsibilities of a long term relationship" and "just wanted to be friends."

So there are a couple of lessons to learn from this story:

1. Never date someone who had only previously broken off a relationship.
2. Make your intentions clear to your partner from the beginning.
3. Never involve yourself in a love triangle. It takes up too much wasted energy and heartache.
4. Beware of crazy ex girlfriends.
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21 / F / Your Cookie Jar
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Posted 4/25/12
^ I love you. All those "lessons" you pointed out, I've been through them. So horrible.

And no, I don't talk to my ex anymore. We tried to be "friends" but, it didn't work out.. I'm glad he's out! Hallelujah!

Posted 7/17/12
Nope. It's really their choice whether to keep contact with me or not, if they put in the effort to contain a friendship then I will put in the effort back. If friendship doesn't seem like it will work then I will tell her straight that it wouldn't be great for us to talk to each other any more because it's just too awkward.

However in the future, time heals and maybe we will be able to talk as normal people with one another and become friends.
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18 / F
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Posted 7/17/12
Nope. That one person I dated...... blocked/delete off everything when it was over. I don't keep in touch at all.
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21 / F / Σ( ̄ロ ̄ll)
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Posted 7/29/12
yep, we still talk... As if nothing happened.

though I have to say, I get pissed off at times.
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29 / M / Indiana
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Posted 7/29/12
My ex-girlfriend wanted to stay friend with me, but after she cheated on me and after everything we went through together, it was impossible. I couldn't look at her simply as a friend and I couldn't be with her anymore because I couldn't trust her.
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20 / F / you will never know
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Posted 7/29/12
ummm.....no
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20 / M / Why should I tell...
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Posted 7/29/12 , edited 7/30/12
I'm kool still with most of my exes, but a lot of them I don't contact no more. I'm friends with a few of them, but don't really hang out with them.
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16 / M / USA
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Posted 7/29/12

iRENDEZVOUS wrote:

yep, we still talk... As if nothing happened.

though I have to say, I get pissed off at times.


Same here, good to know another person's the same way as me.
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