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Child bride has marriage annulled
wwe
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Posted 4/25/12
Laxmi Sargara, now 18, was just 1 when her family married her off to Rakesh, 3.


http://shine.yahoo.com/healthy-living/child-bride-marriage-annulled-laxmi-sargara-hero-day-180800827.html


At an age when most kids are learning to walk, Laxmi Sargara was already married. Her husband, Rakesh, was just three-years-old when family sealed the deal on their fate. She was one.

How a child bride finally made her escape

Now seventeen years later the couple have set a history-making precedent by having their marriage annulled. But the real hero of this story is Laxmi, now 18, who took remarkably brave steps to reverse the archaic tradition and opened the door for more child brides to follow.

Though technically illegal in India, poor families living in rural areas often rely on these types of partnerships, using kids as pawns in order to provide more financial stability to those who can't afford to feed their children long-term. The fall-out is hardest felt for child brides, plucked from their parents' homes in their teens and forced to live with the husband they wed as a toddler and his family. The girls are expected to play the role of obedient wife and daughter-in-law, and in some instances, are beaten into submission by members of their new family.

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Just days ago, Laxmi's was informed of her own marriage obligations, promised almost two decades before by her Rajasthani elders, and given a move-in deadline of April 24 from her in-laws.

"I was unhappy about the marriage. I told my parents who did not agree with me, then I sought help," Sargara told AFP.

She reached to a social worker in Jodhpur who advocates for children's rights through an organization called the Sarathi Trust. The social worker contacted the groom, who was prepared to go through with family arrangement. After some persuading, he finally changed his mind and agreed to an annulment, influenced by the fact that he'd be marrying a woman risking everything to live without him.

"It is the first example we know of a couple wed in childhood wanting the marriage to be annulled, and we hope that others take inspiration from it," Kriti Bharti, the social worker who orchestrated the annulment, told AFP.

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A joint legal document signed by both Rakesh and Laxmi made it official and provided a road map for other young brides to do the same.

"Now I am mentally relaxed and my family members are also with me," said Laxmi, who beamed as she held up the document for photographers. She plans to continue her education in hopes of landing a job so she can maintain her independence. But Laxmi's newfound freedom comes with risk.

In India, where an estimated 50 percent of girls are married before they're 18, opponents of arranged child marriages can face serious threats, including gang rape, beatings and maiming. On the same day as Laxmi's annulment became official, protesters trying to stop a mass child wedding in Rajasthan were attacked and injured by villagers. When a 13-year-old refused to wed her arranged husband in 2009, her parents withheld her food for two weeks. Amazingly, the young girl prevailed and gained international attention and support for her stance. This week Laxmi moved the needle even further; hers is the first legally-binding child marriage annulment in India's history.

Child marriages are a worldwide phenomenon, particularly in rural areas with high poverty rates and closely-guarded ancient traditions. In parts of Sub-Saharan Africa, South Asia, The Middle East and even the U.S. underage children are forced into marriages at the behest of their families. In recent years, American officials have cracked down on fundamentalist polygamist sects in Utah and Texas known to pair adult grooms with child brides. Other countries provide less legal clout needed to protect young girls. In Yemen where, there is no punishment for families who marry off an underage daughter, about half the country's brides are under 15. In Saudi Arabia, there is no minimum age for marriage at all. An 8-year old girl found this out in 2009, when the Saudi courts denied her annulment request. At the time, her husband was 58.
Posted 4/25/12
Makes me wonder if a woman like that would rather starve like an African kid or if an African kid would rather be abused than starve to death.
Posted 4/25/12
This is why I was born on the other side of the big drink.
wwe
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Posted 4/25/12 , edited 4/29/12
that is crazy she had to get married at age 1 years old and her husband was only 3 years old : why would you make any kids at that age get married Also it says a girl at age 8 was married to a guy of age 58 that just crazy weird I dont get it at all
Posted 4/25/12
But we have more pressing concerns at the moment.
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Posted 4/25/12 , edited 4/25/12
Tell me why should I AnimeKami, care?

I'm not trying to be an ass, but seriously enlighten me on why I should care.

It is a nice post I'm sure, I didn't read all of it just the title and the first few lines so it may have played a role in me typing the above.
Posted 4/25/12 , edited 4/25/12

AnimeKami wrote:

Tell me why should I AnimeKami, care?

I'm not trying to be an ass, but seriously enlighten me on why I should care.

It is a nice post I'm sure, I didn't read all of it just the title and the first few lines so it may have played a role in me typing the above.


refrain from posting in this thread if you're not planning on contributing to it.

As for the post, it's disgusting how some of these traditions are still being used in this day in age.
I'm sure it's a small facet of their culture but eventually there needs to be progression.
Women are treated like dirt in some of these countries. It's not the middle ages anymore.
Posted 4/25/12 , edited 4/25/12
I know this sounds incredibly negative and cynical, but as far as arranged marriages regarding the underaged are concerned, this is a very small baby step forward. The idea that "love conquers all" is incredibly new, Western, and arguably middle class. Even if the legalities of arranged marriage change (and as far as the general population is concerned, it's very little at a time), the internal familial pressure never will. In some ways, the ideas of popular culture have a negative affect on the upper and lower percentages of the population. How many people, when push comes to shove, really would say no to an arranged marriage if it helps their family, relieves extreme external pressures, and who believes that ideas like "true love" are more of a fantasy than a reality? Sure, an araranged marriage sounds ludicrous to a lot of Westerners that are so overly exposed to Hollywood cliches that they fancy their lives the next Twilight movie, but to a lot of people, it will always be a reality and acceptable alternative.
Posted 4/25/12

killbethy wrote:

I know this sounds incredibly negative and cynical, but as far as arranged marriages regarding the underaged are concerned, this is a very small baby step forward. The idea that "love conquers all" is incredibly new, Western, and arguably middle class. Even if the legalities of arranged marriage change (and as far as the general population is concerned, it's very little at a time), the internal familial pressure never will. In some ways, the ideas of popular culture have a negative affect on the upper and lower percentages of the population. How many people, when push comes to shove, really would say no to an arranged marriage if it helps their family, relieves extreme external pressures, and who believes that ideas like "true love" are more of a fantasy than a reality? Sure, an araranged marriage sounds ludicrous to a lot of Westerners that are so overly exposed to Hollywood cliches that they fancy their lives the next Twilight movie, but to a lot of people, it will always be a reality and acceptable alternative.


I agree with certain aspects of your post. Most people these days are influenced by the romanticization of Western ideals of love because it just seems much modern, yet my problem is marrying off the young ones who are not yet of right age. 8 year old marrying a 59 year old man.
Straight up legal pedophilia.
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Posted 4/25/12
..married at 1 and 3.
married at 8 and 58.
it's just all wrong and i really don't understand as to how families, even in the worst of conditions can just wed off their children to some other family.
how do you know how your child will turn out in the future?
where does their happiness go?
Posted 4/25/12 , edited 4/25/12

thefinalword wrote:


killbethy wrote:

I know this sounds incredibly negative and cynical, but as far as arranged marriages regarding the underaged are concerned, this is a very small baby step forward. The idea that "love conquers all" is incredibly new, Western, and arguably middle class. Even if the legalities of arranged marriage change (and as far as the general population is concerned, it's very little at a time), the internal familial pressure never will. In some ways, the ideas of popular culture have a negative affect on the upper and lower percentages of the population. How many people, when push comes to shove, really would say no to an arranged marriage if it helps their family, relieves extreme external pressures, and who believes that ideas like "true love" are more of a fantasy than a reality? Sure, an araranged marriage sounds ludicrous to a lot of Westerners that are so overly exposed to Hollywood cliches that they fancy their lives the next Twilight movie, but to a lot of people, it will always be a reality and acceptable alternative.


I agree with certain aspects of your post. Most people these days are influenced by the romanticization of Western ideals of love because it just seems much modern, yet my problem is marrying off the young ones who are not yet of right age. 8 year old marrying a 59 year old man.
Straight up legal pedophilia.


Oh, I agree with you that it's wrong. But the real injustice is done by those around the child forcing their wills onto them when they are still too young to form opinions, fight for themselves, and even understand the implications of what is being done to them. Whether or not that is in regard to marriage or something else is completely irrelevant. The problem is that given the ideas prevalent in popular culture, the argument most people address the subject is with something along the lines of "everyone should be able to love whomever they please," and it's just not and will never be that simple.
Posted 4/25/12 , edited 4/25/12

xiluvJaejoongie wrote:

..married at 1 and 3.
married at 8 and 58.
it's just all wrong and i really don't understand as to how families, even in the worst of conditions can just wed off their children to some other family.
how do you know how your child will turn out in the future?
where does their happiness go?


Survival is a strong motivator. If you are stripped of your Western ideals and don't have the money to feed a child, marrying them into a family who could potentially provide for them, and subsequently yourself, might not seem like such a terrible idea. Even a beating doesn't seem like such a bad exchange for continued life. The problem is rooted in financial disparity... the extremes people in poverty will go to secure wealth and the extent the wealthy will go to sustain it. Just getting rid of arranged marriages is like cutting a weed with a lawn mower instead of yanking it out from the root.

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Posted 4/26/12

thefinalword wrote:


AnimeKami wrote:

Tell me why should I AnimeKami, care?

I'm not trying to be an ass, but seriously enlighten me on why I should care.

It is a nice post I'm sure, I didn't read all of it just the title and the first few lines so it may have played a role in me typing the above.


refrain from posting in this thread if you're not planning on contributing to it.

As for the post, it's disgusting how some of these traditions are still being used in this day in age.
I'm sure it's a small facet of their culture but eventually there needs to be progression.
Women are treated like dirt in some of these countries. It's not the middle ages anymore.


Miss Moderator,

First, I'd like to address the fact that you quoted me specifically because my "post" made me sound like a bias ass that didn't care about women in which you specifically said I had (might) nothing to contribute to the thread. God forbid DeusExMachine also posted something that has nothing to contribute to the thread, yet because of the tone of his post he did not receive a type of warning from you.

Second, my saying "why I should care" has much more meaning than you might have made it sound, this is a forum for discussion in which caring about the topic at hand also plays a role, if the starter of the thread provided more substantial evidence for me to proceed further (as I am unfamiliar in this area, why else would I ask for reasons) I'd love to do so; however the moment is she hasn't.

Now MIss Moderator, you may proceed to ban me if you feel fit because I'm obviously the asshole that will not contribute to the thread, or you can let the starter of the thread quote me and provide more reasons and allow me to further discuss in this thread.


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Posted 4/26/12
Hmm.... I understand that child marriage is a huge issue and families in those places are forced to marry off their children to gain financial stability for themselves & their family.
However, I feel that the brides and grooms should have a choice. The moment either one rejects the idea, it should be stopped.

Everyone should have a right in who they want to marry. After all, it's a commitment for life.
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Posted 4/26/12
I may not understand the whole arranged marriage tradition some countries have, but marrying kids to other kids or a 58 year old man is beyond mind boggling. I kinda have to agree with carmensakura07, sure, you can make the promise between families, but when it comes time that the kids are considered adults, let them decide. If one or both parties say 'no', don't push it. Everything we do can blow up in our faces at some point.

I have to applaud Lexmi for taking her own stand, not just for herself, but for others in the same situation.
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