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Feeling Inferior to Younger Siblings?
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25 / M / England
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Posted 5/22/12
My younger sister is certainly much better at studying than me, her grades destroy mine, and she has a much bigger friendship group. Doesn't bother me tbh, I could get the grades she does but I just didn't study when I was in school and I could have alot of friends but I never like to have more than a few close friends. I'm proud of her for being good at things I'm not, I have stuff I'm good at that shes not as well.
Posted 5/22/12
Nope. I think we're equal because we both have things we're good at which the other is bad at.
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24 / M / United States of...
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Posted 5/22/12
Sounds more like a psychological issue to me.
Allow us to begin the formal analysis.
To begin, your user name is Iloveboobies... Although I applaud you for being honest, it displays immaturity. You say he is smart, and studious. Clearly if he's studious, chances are he's going to be smart... He's tall, humorous and popular. Height is determined by genetics and other factors. He's funny -> Popular (halo effect?). But clearly if you are disappointed by how many "friends" he has compared to the amount you had in your freshman year, you're a shallow person.

We've determined that you are shorter than he is, less "popular", short on jokes, less intelligent, and immature. Of course this dictates your younger sibling being "superior" to you. What did you think was going to happen?

How can you solve this issue?
1. "smart" is a very broad term, you can easily be just as "smart" or even smarter than your brother if you change your study habits.
2. You have to be "intelligent" to be able to tell jokes. Why? Because having a wide array of knowledge, no matter what kind of "knowledge" this is gives you more material to work with.
3. Popularity is honestly a middle school/ high school worry. I could have over 1000 friends on facebook but that doesn't mean i'm going to keep up talking to all those people. Chances are you're only going to talk to about 10~20. Having great friends isn't determined by quantity. It's by quality.
4. Your only validating your inferiority even more by believing that you are below your brother. While it's good to have a realistic view of things, that doesn't mean you sulk and act as if nothing can be done.

Problem?
Posted 5/22/12
a lot of people feel jealous over someone else's achievements, siblings are just the easiest targets because of your proximity to them. sibling rivalry is far less tense once you are older and out of your teen years. teenagers aren't exactly known for their overwhelming self-confidence... it's hard to be confident when your looks, body, and even personality are rapidly changing all the time. i don't think there is any other time in your life that you wil derive more of your self-worth from the opinions of other people than when you are a teen. you are also more accountable to other people, mainly authority figures (parents, teachers, etc.) for your achievements and failures. the comparisons that seem to matter so much in middle school and high school just don't matter as much when you really only have to answer to yourself at the end of the day. the people that matter chose to be around you for you, not for being "better" than your brothers and/or sisters. it's definitely worth the effort to just suck it up and try to be happy for the other person, or atleast not get bitter over it. your siblings serve you better as friends than enemies in the long run ^.^
Posted 5/22/12 , edited 5/22/12
I am the eldest (yeah, join me in my cursed life) and I have 3 mischievous younger siblings.
They are quite athletic, they dance very well and they can gymnast good too (I could also but, they're waay better)

but in terms of academic/mental skills I'm just a tad.. uhm, no.. I am a LOT smarter.
I have been in the top class since my first grade in elementary school until now in my middle school.

As for my siblings, two of them are of average grade but the youngest of us is failing like there's no tomorrow ._______.;;;

I could be jealous because of their athletic/physical skills but we're even since I'm a lot smarter.
Posted 5/22/12
I'm the eldest, and I'm better than both my siblings in every possible way. Except maybe modesty.
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22 / M / Australia
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Posted 5/22/12
I'm like this but in intensified twice as much since both my older and younger sisters are 'better' than me so my parents say I pretty much feel like this guy without the love interest.

My older sister (20) has really good grades, is loved by all at uni at uni, placed second nationally in Rhythmic gymnastics and is always successful at landing scholarships, interns at high ranking business firms, and today has left for Sydney, Australia on an all expense paid flight job interview by the employer.

My little sister (13) is like a genius. Gets top of her grade marks each and every year for the past 4 years now and because of this she gets what she wants, when she wants. She's actually really spoiled and acts like the biggest bitch at home to me when no one's around to witness it. Because my parents fit the 'asian' stereotype they've sorta given up on me, though they don't say it, I can tell they have.

And that's pretty much my story. I'm not a failure; I got into uni, I go at things at my own leisurely pace, but I just find it extremely hard to study or work on assignments before its 'last minute'.
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23 / M / California
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Posted 5/22/12

aragas711 wrote:


How can you solve this issue?
1. "smart" is a very broad term, you can easily be just as "smart" or even smarter than your brother if you change your study habits.
What you said seems true, but it is easy said than done. I've tried to modified my study habits and be better at time management but he is still always one step above me, and I ended up going back to square one.
2. You have to be "intelligent" to be able to tell jokes. Why? Because having a wide array of knowledge, no matter what kind of "knowledge" this is gives you more material to work with.
Base on what you said, it seems like my little brother is intelligent and a lot more knowledgeable than I am. And implying that I am Un-intelligent.
3. Popularity is honestly a middle school/ high school worry. I could have over 1000 friends on facebook but that doesn't mean i'm going to keep up talking to all those people. Chances are you're only going to talk to about 10~20. Having great friends isn't determined by quantity. It's by quality.
First of, DAYUM over 1000 friends on FB? I only have 47. I barely talk to any of them.
4. Your only validating your inferiority even more by believing that you are below your brother. While it's good to have a realistic view of things, that doesn't mean you sulk and act as if nothing can be done.
I'm only validating what I think is true. If you were in my spot, you would feel inferior to him as well. He is literally almost the perfect child.
Problem?


I appreciate your philosophical views, and I may or may not implement them.
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Posted 5/22/12



Don't feel bad at all bro. My older brother is the complete opposite of me. I'm the responsible, and in dependable sister. He's the depended able, and irresponsible momma's boy. When I started high school, he was very popular, but not because of his grades lol. I've always gotten the better grades. with looks? we both have them I guess. but no matter what, I've always looked up to him, I've always seen him as a person I can rely on(kinda lol). The moral of the story? I bet your brother feels the same way as me. He probably sees you as being perfect :]
Posted 5/22/12
i have bro and were good at opasits am bad English hes shit at maths so hayy lol not Riley
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23 / M / California
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Posted 5/22/12 , edited 5/22/12

I highly doubt that he would be thinking of me as perfect. Although I tried EXTREMELY hard (not really) to be the perfect person, the perfect brother like the ones you see in anime and such. I am a perfectionist but I'm no where near where I want to be.

And as for your brother, I think he and I have a lot in common. With the exception of being popular of course.
I'm dependable - occasionally yes
I'm am definitely a momma's boy
I also got good grades in high school too, but not 4.3 GPA like my little brother
I am one smoking hot bastard (might be over exaggerating here, but not too far from the truth HEHE)

Based on that, I think your brother and I could be great friends.
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Posted 5/22/12



But that's why I love him, because he's unperfect. That's what makes human beings perfect, the fact that they're unperfect. I bet you hold a big part of your brother's heart. Trust me.
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21 / M / Tiphares
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Posted 5/22/12 , edited 5/22/12
Everyone here must be like this.




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21 / F / Scandinavia
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Posted 5/22/12 , edited 5/22/12
My oldest little brother is 15 and I'm definetly not jealous of him.
Sure he is popular and I'm just the nerdy kid with very few friends, but he's also dumb as fuck and so is his friends, not to mention they are all major assholes.
I predict he'll end up in jail at some point or in some kind of addiction, be it drugs or alcohol.
I on the other hand have a change to succed.
As you probably can hear, we don't get along well.

My youngest little brother who is 12 is adorable, but I'm not jealous of him either.
He is autistic and have a lot of problems.
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24 / M / Northwest
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Posted 5/23/12

iLoveBoobies wrote:

Do you have younger siblings?

If you do, do you ever get the feeling that you are somehow inferior to him or her? by inferior I'm talking about loosing to him or her at certain things such as academics, sports, popularity, and such.

I have a younger brother and let me tell you, I HATE him. Well I don't really hate him but I'm Incredibly JEALOUS of him.

Here is a quick description of my younger brother:
Smart: Got straight A's in every subject ever since 3rd grade. Got a 4.3 GPA on his last report card.
Tall: I am 5 feet 8inches tall, and my younger brother is 6 feet tall. (I wish it was the opposite).
Popularity: Let me just say that he has more friends in his Freshman year of high school than I do in my entire life.
Studious: He studies like a nut job. In fact, he's studying right now as I'm writing this post. His GPA proves it.
Humorous: Whenever we have a conversation, I'm always the one laughing.
And so much more that I'm having trouble putting down on words.

The point is, I want to be like him!!! He is like the opposite of me WITH the exception of looks, because I do think I look a little bit better than him . (conceited much? Hell NAW.)

I don't know, but I get really annoyed when he's doing his homework and studying and all I can do is go on CR and rant about it. Have you watched the new anime called Space Brothers? If yes, then you must have heard this quote: "An Older Brother Must Always Stay Ahead of His Younger Siblings" Maybe not word for word but you get the idea. The older child should always be the perfect child But not in this case I suppose.

Sometimes I just wish I was the younger brother. =P



Haha it seems like you are talking about my younger brother, except the only difference is that I'm 5'9 and he's like 5'11. In terms of grades and tests he does so much better than I ever did and he is more successful at sports. But I think I have him in terms of friends, maybe not popularity but I know the people he hangs out with and they are complete douches, it's really not about the amount of friends but having a good few to be really close with and are good influences. I know how you feel about being inferior, I'm like the middle child who seems like he's going no where, all I have going for me is getting my degree but I still don't feel like I'm doing as much as the rest of my siblings (I have an older sister too). Dude I've been watching space brothers too, and it's funny because I compared that anime to my life with my brother as well, also since the older brother has a mechanical engineering degree just like what I am going for. That anime is giving me hope in a way lol. But I think the older child doesn't necessarily have to be ahead because the younger sibling because they can learn from our mistakes and not have to go through what we do, putting them ahead of us at the time we were in their same stage in life.
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