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What makes a friend a friend to you?
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36 / M / Orlando
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Posted 6/2/12
A real friend is someone who calls you up, just to see how you're doing. Someone who comes over to hang out, even if you have nothing to do. Someone who tells you the truth, even when it pisses you off. Someone who shows up to help, without ever being asked. Someone who's got your back, even in a losing situation. Someone who keeps in touch, even when you're far away. Real friends are few and far between.

Alot of the people you hang out with, people you think are your friends, are not. People get bored and lonely and they want something to do. So they think to themselves, who can I summon to entertain me? For some people the list is large, for some it's not. But either way, the instant it's not convenient for them, when you're no longer there to dance for their amusement, well then it's "who are you?"
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29 / M
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Posted 6/2/12
A friend, to me, is someone that I can depend on and who is always there for me when I need him or her. Someone I can call and they will take time to talk to me and understand any issue. And I treat my friends the same way.
Posted 6/2/12
A friends eyes are your mirror..
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21 / F / HK
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Posted 6/6/12
I dont seem to keep friends :P
um someone who doesn't bully me, push me around or use me. Oh and also me before their boyfriends and stand up for me :)
then I would do the same thing for them.
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27 / M
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Posted 6/7/12 , edited 6/7/12
I have many friends. I also have many old friendships that have lasted 10+ years. My best friend has been my best friend for 17 years and we're still good. My oldest girl friend has been my friend for about 15 years and we still talk. I also have a close friend from kindergarten, one from 6th grade, and another from 1st grade that I still talk to. As long as a person is nice to me and accepts my kindness in return, I believe a friendship is possible.

I try not to let the past get in the way of friendship. I will forgive a person if they want me to forgive them and their actions will not permanently harm me. I usually give people the benefit of the doubt. I will say 'yes' much more often than I say 'no.' I'm also interested in how others think as well as their experiences, so I keep an open mind. I am also pretty trustworthy and consistent, even if I can be lazy with my own life. For me, it's hard to break someone's trust. It's a simple manner to just do what is right. I don't let my own desires clash with those of my friends, nor do I allow my ego to clash against theirs. I'd rather just let them win and forget about it. I'm the pacifist in the group who likes to take care of everyone else. It's hard to describe. 'Chill' might be the right word.

I'm the sort of person who will talk to the drunk and pretend to understand why he/she is crying even though their words make no sense. I'm the sort of person who will cook for a kickback just because everyone looks so high and happy and I feel like it. I'm the sort of person who will let you drink as much as you want, but take care of you when you puke. I'm the sort of person who will wait 20 minutes without complaining that you're late. I'm the sort of person who will give you a shoulder massage and make you a nice, strong drink just because you look like you need one (no homo, most of my guy friends don't ask for such things, anyway).

I'm fairly complacent because I don't like to see people in conflict (I've had enough of that just by being around my family). I try to get along with everyone and I always make sure to think before I say or do things that could offend someone. I typically speak strongly only when I'm joking, and most of my friends know that. I guess I can make and keep friends because I think I'm pretty nice. I've only lost two friends (one turned hostile, the other one is my ex that I no longer talk to) because they both didn't really carry their weight in the friendship. The hostile one had a stupid, moody boyfriend, so it's probably because of him. My ex wanted to stay friends after we split, but she seemed to avoid me and didn't reciprocate when I made efforts to stay in contact. Ah well, as long as it's not my fault, I don't feel any guilt.
Posted 6/7/12

swordstyle wrote:

A real friend is someone who calls you up, just to see how you're doing. Someone who comes over to hang out, even if you have nothing to do. Someone who tells you the truth, even when it pisses you off. Someone who shows up to help, without ever being asked. Someone who's got your back, even in a losing situation. Someone who keeps in touch, even when you're far away. Real friends are few and far between.

Alot of the people you hang out with, people you think are your friends, are not. People get bored and lonely and they want something to do. So they think to themselves, who can I summon to entertain me? For some people the list is large, for some it's not. But either way, the instant it's not convenient for them, when you're no longer there to dance for their amusement, well then it's "who are you?"


Nailed it. I agree.
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M / burning embers
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Posted 6/7/12

swordstyle wrote:

A real friend is someone who calls you up, just to see how you're doing. Someone who comes over to hang out, even if you have nothing to do. Someone who tells you the truth, even when it pisses you off. Someone who shows up to help, without ever being asked. Someone who's got your back, even in a losing situation. Someone who keeps in touch, even when you're far away. Real friends are few and far between.

Alot of the people you hang out with, people you think are your friends, are not. People get bored and lonely and they want something to do. So they think to themselves, who can I summon to entertain me? For some people the list is large, for some it's not. But either way, the instant it's not convenient for them, when you're no longer there to dance for their amusement, well then it's "who are you?"


Bulleyes.

But actually, friends are sometimes - in order to define a friend. What does a "friend" mean to you? what are YOUR qualifications for a friend?

The quote above is what I would classify for myself and others as a True Genuine Friend. Many people consider the term and classification for "friends" loosely when they are more like acquaintances, as in people you see every now and then but you don't really know much about them let alone about you. Some people are just really friendly but then you'd refer back to the quote. - lost my train of thought but quote got it down pretty good for life


Posted 6/7/12
They're like stars, you don't always see them but you know they're there.
Posted 6/7/12 , edited 6/7/12
If I haven't fucked him/her yet, then yeah we're still friends.
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25 / M / Nova Scotia, Canada
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Posted 6/7/12
A friend is someone you form an unspoken bond with. They are your comrades. In dire situations, true friendship is tested by whether or not they have your back and you have their's. In a worst case scenario, they will stab it. But that's the leap of faith that needs to be taken in order to figure out conclusively who your true friends are.

To me, a friend is someone I don't need to say hello or goodbye to because I know the bond I have with them is always held close. Even if they're miles away and it's been years since we've spoken, I don't see that as a good reason to suggest the bond between us has been damaged.
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F / потерян
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Posted 6/7/12
A friend is someone who's there for me when I'm there for them.
Posted 6/7/12
Someone who makes me laugh.
Posted 6/7/12 , edited 6/7/12
Someone that I can scream "FUCK YOU BITCH WHY DONT YOU AGREE WITH ME ALREADY" to and doesnt get mad.

and oh yeah, those who come barging into my house saying they want to Karaoke at 6 in the morning.
my friends did that yesterday.
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68 / M / Columbia, MO
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Posted 6/7/12
Someone who will stand by you no matter the consequence(s). Most people have many, many acquaintances but, in reality, damn few real friends. Those few in number that do exist and you can count on when conditions aren't perfect or favorable for you or them....keep. They will always be the gems that can light up your world and lighten your load from that box of coal lumps called life provided you open up your mind and allow them entry.

Wikipedia mentions several terms/concepts that almost sound like text out of a Carl Roger's client-centered therapy tome. Yet it also mentions a disturbing trend occurring in the US using 1985 as a base year. Apparently technology has invaded and revised our hierarchy about what really matters to each of us up close and personal.

Do read the articles under "Friendship". Very informative, uniquely perturbing. Also, although friendship would appear to be a uniformly similar human trait different countries have different interpretations and cultural implications about the meaning(s) of friendship.
Posted 6/7/12
A friend is someone who is comfortable with you as-is, appreciates your company but doesn't have heavy requirements to be in theirs, and above all; who is there for you, when the shit really hits the fan - not just when it is fun time.
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