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Do people change after having sex for the first time?
Posted 6/26/12
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F / Wonderland~
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Posted 6/26/12
Hmmm sex does change people. well not for me cuz i havent done it yet but pplz older than me that have done it seem to act a bit different.
Posted 6/26/12 , edited 6/26/12
I don't know but that would've been REALLY scary if the girl I was with changed into something right in front of me.
Posted 6/26/12
when i lost it my first time i became more honest and daring idk why but i did and let me tell you doing it feels freaking good anyone that say it doesn't feel good then they're lying
Posted 6/26/12

Winterfells wrote:


ohraii wrote:

I became more confident after my first time. Does that count as changing?


I have to say I had a similar experience. After my first time, I felt more confident, I imagined I had transitioned from a boy to a man, although in reality I was probably very much still a boy. XD


lol i feel ya man
Posted 6/28/12
Maybe. Maybe not.
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30 / M / Mount Vernon, Ill...
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Posted 6/28/12 , edited 6/28/12
As far as the crazy part goes, I feel your pain.

If you want an example as to how sex does not change people--biological maturity changes needs, perhaps Anna Freud's long-term abstinence and resultant craziness will shed some light.

In keeping with the theory of multiple causality, she became psychasthentic--an archaic way of saying overly anxious and compulsive-- in her late 20s, for several reasons, including: a: Anna was very much in love with her father and his philosophy; Sigmund did not believe in using condoms, masturbating, or coitus interruptus ("pulling out"), because he thought they led to neurosis; b. She was a virgin, and had not met any mates she perceived as loyal, supportive, and kind; c. She led a non-traditional life, involving a lot of post-secondary education, philosophizing, clinical experimentation, and solitary rumination at home, with her family, well into adulthood; d. She misapplied sublimation, thinking that it was possible to write off biological urges driven by sexual instinct, resulting in her somewhat infamous (in some psychological history circles) "nice stories".

TLDR version: Anna Freud thought instead of having sex, she could redirect her sex drive into writing fiction.

Here's a letter Sigmund Freud wrote to Anna, implying she should get out of the house and bonk somebody:

"You will have understood from the books you have read that you were so overzealous, restless and unsatisfied because you have run away like a child from many things of which a grown-up girl would not be afraid. We will notice a change when you no longer withdraw from the pleasures of your age but gladly enjoy what other girls enjoy. One hardly has energy for serious interests if one is too zealous, too sensitive, and remains removed from one's own life and nature; then one finds oneself troubled in the very things one wishes to take up" (Young-Bruehl, 2008, p. 59).

TLDR version: Sigmund told Anna she was going mad because she was being immature about a sexual need that reaches deep into the very core of our being: A genetic drive to procreate.

It's a bad idea to go around having 80 babies, so that leaves us with condoms and birth control. In my opinion, Freud was right about the craziness. My first time was a bit awkward at first (@ 15 yrs/o), but ended great. The emotional boost lasted a good 5 years, if not longer. There really is no substitute for the feeling of going wild with a partner and releasing all the stresses of life in that breathtaking moment of primal communion.

I've had difficulty finding partners who do not want to use both condoms and birth control, even after an STI test. But I don't complain. Drop some hints about the low probability and proof of absence of disease, and if they're not cool with it, it's still much more emotionally satisfying with a rubber than masturbation. That part Freud was too moral about. Morals destroy one's sense of morality, like what is moral about unnecessary suffering and delusional denial of one's instincts? And consider how stable a marriage is going to be without confirmation that there is sexual as well as emotional passion.

Young-Bruehl, E. (2008). Anna Freud: A biography (2nd ed.). New Haven: Yale University Press.
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30 / M / Mount Vernon, Ill...
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Posted 6/28/12
Bottom line: Getchee sum bottom! ah-ho-ho-HO!
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18 / M / West Coast
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Posted 6/28/12
Hmmm I think the only way I changed was I became more carefree o.o I dunno why though
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24 / F / Florida
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Posted 10/10/12 , edited 10/10/12
Depends on how, where, when and with whom. It change you in many ways. My best friend definitely grew closer to her boyfriend after hers, for me it did not work that way.
There's is truth in saying that you lose your innocence (mentally).

Damn, I just realized I don't have a chance to see a unicorn anymore
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25 / M / Sunny SoCal!!!
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Posted 10/10/12
It depends on the person and their mentality I have friends who have never had sex where simply chill but when they did have sex they changed and thought they where some "player" that can get any girl, as for me I'm still the same person even after having sex.

All in all it just depends on the person just don't lose track of who you are when its your first time.
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28 / F / Lost
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Posted 10/10/12
I didn't change much... I just became more cynical.
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42 / M / Texas
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Posted 10/10/12
didnt change me much
just made me wonder how the heck can girls bend that way
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18 / M / Australia
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Posted 10/10/12
I changed after losing my virginity. But it wasn't a huge change. I just became way more confident.
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24 / Canada
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Posted 10/10/12
Some people do some don't...I didn't know my friend was a virgin and we went to a bar and he came back with a girl, the next weeks he was just acting like a douchebag lol, i tought it was funny
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