[20-01-08] The Red Scarf [David1109]
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27 / M / Hamilton, ON
Posted 1/20/08 , edited 1/20/08
In three days it will be six years without her and every day that goes by without her makes me miss her even more. Even if it was my fault for letting go of her, I thought it was a good thing to get her cured, but it did not turn out as I thought it would. The doctors told me about her illness; some sort of mental disease that made my dear Evelyn lose her life. She said that she heard ringing noises even though the day was silent and I was getting worried by the day if something might happen to her and I wasn’t able to help her. It was until she started to get a nosebleed in the middle of the night that I made a quick decision to get her to the village doctor. The doctors told me not to worry and should return in two days.

But it was too late. The day after I sent Evelyn to the doctors they said something happened to Evelyn; something unexplained. I couldn’t save her in time; I couldn’t get to her to say goodbye. They stopped me at the front door of the medical house. They nodded their heads in sorrow and told me to return to my house. My pulses pumped and my heart ached, I returned to my house still worried about Evelyn. I was waiting for the doctors to come into my house and tell me it was a false alarm and that it was just a small fever symptom. Finally, I heard a knock on my door and I ran as fast as I could. When I ran a gust of wind knocked down some of my photos with Evelyn. One was a picture of Evelyn and I at her 30th birthday and the other was a photo of us at our wedding ceremony. Luckily, both photo frames did not crack or break when it fell. I quickly placed it back on top of the table carelessly and opened the door. It was the doctors and they came with documents of Evelyn’s condition. After five minutes of explanations and arguing, I burst out the front door and I tried to run away from reality. I tried my best to run from all the news of death and misery that those emotionless men were trying to make me accept. She can’t die yet I thought to myself as I collapse on the side of the road No…not yet…please, not yet.

Next thing I remember I woke up in my bed, not knowing what time it was or how I returned home and all I could think of was my poor Evelyn. Day after day, my life was slowly fading away and I thought to myself how much longer can I take this pain from within…it’s hurting me. This pain I get was a vicious parasite eating away from inside, it has a lust for souls and taking your life slowly until you can’t live on any longer. I cannot just forget about Evelyn and move on pretending that I’m not a lonely widow and marry some other woman, I just couldn’t let go of Evelyn like that. To this day I still believe she is alive somewhere out there, she was just taken from me. I know she was taken away from me and forced to marry another man. This man is probably treating her like garbage and she is strong to fight back; but enough to win. I know she is because I can hear her scream my name for help Peter! Help me, please…I need you! In my sleep late at night and sometimes I wake up from this cry for help.

Once again I awake from my sleep from the cries of my beloved wife, Evelyn. Once I got over the call for help. I returned back to reality and continued today like any other day for the last five years and three hundred and sixty three days. It was a gloomy, soundless, foggy, darkening day. Although this day had some kind of feeling I never felt before, a weird presence occurring around ma and it felt very uneasy. As I walked outside of my two floor townhouse, it felt as if a gust of dark evil wind blew into my house. I walked around the centre in the foggy weather, looking for a store to buy food and a place to sit and eat my lunch. Thirty minutes have past and I was still walking around the town centre; it took me a few minutes to realize that I wasn’t looking for a place to sit and instead I was watching other people talking about me. “Isn’t he the same man who lost his wife 6 years ago?” I heard from a woman. “Why is he out here? He should have stayed inside.” A man said to his companion. “After 6 years and he is still looking like that and acting like that? It’s pathetic I tell you” a young woman said. I heard everyone around the town centre talk about my appearance, they discussed about my hair and how it covers my eyes and how it was so black; as well as how it looks disgusting because it looked so straight. They talk about my skin being so pale I look like a ghost, and my eyes how my pupils were black and it was horrific if they looked at me in the eyes. To them I looked like a man who was better left alone, avoiding any social contact so instead they talk about me behind my back. But I heard them and I wasn’t ignoring what they said about me. Instead they fed it to me like a hungry beast. Their disgusting eyes and ugly faces watching my ill-mannered walk; if only they knew how I felt about their lost love ones like I lost my Evelyn, only then will stop watching me.

After I found a place to eat quietly without eyes watching me and hearing the conversations about my past, I decided to return home to rest for another day. Awhile walking back to my house, it felt as if someone was following me and watching my every move. Then I heard her voice, I swear I heard her voice again she must be her! She’s looking for me I thought to myself, Evelyn must have figured out that I would have never moved away and that I was waiting for her to come back home. I was starting to feel lighter than ever before, it was like I was starting to see the lighter side of my life again. I started to see the fog disappearing and that parasite that was inside me was removed.

I ran half the way to my house when I felt that same presence before. I was getting worried that she might have given up and left already, leaving me with nothing to live for again. This presence did not go away and it made me more aware of my surroundings. I was becoming more cautious as I got closer to my house. I had an urge to look over my shoulder, but only to see nothing but the foggy weather. When I got to my house I opened the door hoping to see a familiar face which I haven’t seen in 6 years. Unfortunately, everything but Evelyn was here. For a second I lost hope, until I saw an envelope with the initials E.M. on the front. I thought to myself, could the initials stand for Evelyn Mars? It must have been my wife. I tore open the envelope I read the letter

“Hello Peter…It’s been nearly six years without you in arms reach. I had been in an insanity hospital for nearly five years. It took that long because I was not proven sane until five years later they released me. The doctors said I was dead because they thought that you should have moved on instead of hearing that I was presumed insane. Now that I’m free I want to see you again. I missed you so much and I want to break this separation between us. We should meet on the same day I was taken from you at the town centre under that tree where we had our first kiss. There is so much I want to talk to you about, I want to start a family with you, so please come meet me.
Love, Evelyn
P.S. bring the red scarf that you got me on my 30th birthday”

I couldn’t believe it was her and it was in her handwriting too. This was going way too fast for me and Evelyn already gave me a chance to see her again. She even remembers the red scarf I got her. In two days I will finally meet my long lost love, the only woman in my heart, Evelyn. All of this was getting too exciting for me. My heart pumped faster and faster through each passing minute until it was the day to meet my one true love. Now six years later I will finally meet her again and she will be back in my arms. I had this day ready and it was going to be perfect. I had a haircut so it wouldn’t cover my eyes anymore and I dressed as nicely as I could. I was overwhelmed at what was going to happen, I looked at the letter that Evelyn gave me and I read it over and over again. I read it so many times now I practically memorized every word. I was in my bathroom and I glanced at the mirror and realized out of the excitement of meeting my wife, my nose started to bleed.

Fortunately, the blood didn’t get all over my clothes, only the sink. I was feeling light-headed so I decided to get a little rest before it was time to see her. I woke up and realized it was almost time to meet with her so I ran to the door and opened it. The moment I opened the door a big gust of wind rushed into the house and it was strong enough to push things over. It blew again, but this time even harder; hard enough it actually tipped over a picture of Evelyn and me at our wedding ceremony. When I went to pick the photo frame I saw a crack in the glass, I didn’t have time to fix it and I placed it back to where it was before and continue to the meeting place with Evelyn.

On the way to the town centre, it looked as if nobody was around and there was no sound. The entire village felt like it was deserted. I looked around to see if there was somebody but there was nothing. Then I heard a faint voice saying something that I could not hear, it was out of the ordinary I could still hear it but it felt it was all around and not in one direction. Am I going mad? I thought to myself and at that time I ran towards the town centre, only to find the fog starting to become denser. I could not see farther than 10 metre in any direction, I could only get s sense of direction once I found the clock tower in the centre of the town centre. By then it was almost evening and it was getting darker by the hour. I heard the faint voice again but even more clearly; it sounded like a woman and it was in a high tone. The voice got louder and louder until it stopped. I was becoming more anxious by the second; I was holding myself in one place to face what might come next.

The fog looked as if it was getting less dense and I saw a thin figure and I could not make out the face but only the clothes and hair. The only thing I could see was the white long dress and it looked torn up a bit and the hair looked uneasy and unkempt. The fog almost disappear making it easier to see her face, it took me a few minutes to realize that the woman in the distance was really Evelyn. I yelled out “Evelyn?” in an uneasy voice and the woman in white replied “Yes, Peter…come with me. Follow me.” And at that moment I dazed off and I could only see her in the distance. Her arms reaching out for me, but as I got closer to her, she moved back. I tried to grab her hand but it was like she was getting pulled away from me. I wasn’t going to let her go this time. So I followed her way and then I tripped over a rock and then I came back and realized where I was now. I fell into a cemetery. “Why did you take me here?” I asked Evelyn with discomfort and confusion. “To kill you of course” she said in a deep tone. My eyes widen and I felt stuck to the ground, I could not make any movement. Evelyn was controlling me. “Do you see that Peter? I’m not insane. I just developed an ability six years ago. Do you realize how much time I wasted in that insane hospital? Well no matter, in 6 six years I was able to control this skill. Only because I had this skill the doctors wanted to keep me. They wanted to experiment on me. I was their lab rat.” Evelyn said with a vengeful voice. I fell onto my knees and hands and I couldn’t stand up and run, I was shaking uncontrollably in fear. “Too bad you forgot the scarf; you were always a forgettable man, Peter. I guess I have to do it the hard way and kill you with my own hands.” And just then she made me stand on my knees and I had to watch her deformed body walk towards me slowly and she placed her two pale hands on my neck. Just as she was about to strangle me, I jumped out of bed and woke up on the floor of my bedroom. I thought it was real, that entire meeting came from my head and I was starting to hate my imagination. I was still breathing heavily. I took a moment to catch my breath and think clearly. I closed my eyes and lay back on my bed. I opened my eyes again I directly on the ceiling parallel to me was a woman in a white dress and her hair was unkempt. She hung over me and said “I found the red scarf”
1330 cr points
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27 / M / Hamilton, ON
Posted 1/20/08
Author's Notes (YAY)*though not really

This short story is around 2000 words.
The Genre is Gothic
The Theme is Depression
The yellow is the two references (bad ones...)
This story came from my own noodle... (yeah im pretty psychotic..) :phew:
made this for english class gr 12...got like a 90% i think.
anyway have fun reading!
36 cr points
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28 / M / CA
Posted 1/21/08
pretty good work, your lucky to get to write stories in gr12, i am also in gr12 and we dont do anything....

Try for a stronger opening, I would say your second paragraph is a good example of how to begin. It starts with a short and sweet first sentence, no matter how boring the paragraph is after that, people will read it. On the other hand, if you story does not start like that, no one will get past the first sentence no matter how interesting it is.

With some revision, it could make a good contest entry, if you were going for that. I notice you repeat the subject in a sentence sometimes, Ex: (second to last sentence, also has other grammarical issues) "I opened my eyes again I directly on the ceiling parallel to me was a woman in a white dress and her hair was unkempt." to fix it, it would become "I Opened my eyes again directly on the ceiling above me, there was a woman in a white dress, with unkempt hair." Something like that.

Good luck, if you enter the contest!
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